a rude awakening

hey, did you know that san francisco has a lot of hills?

yeah, so did i.

but i severely underestimated just how hilly those hills actually are. which makes for a very craptastic 14 mile run. which could potentially make for a craptastic marathon. *sigh*

the one good thing about san francisco is that the weather is almost always runner friendly. which meant i could wait until after rush hour traffic to make the trek to the city. i packed my bags, a cooler filled with post workout nourishment and made the hour drive to union square. i parked in a garage and started donning my running gear when i realized that i had forgotten my headphones!!! argh! there was no way i was gonna go 14 miles with no tunes or cues from my nike+. luckily niketown was right there. though i had to go into the store totally geeked out in my nike visor, nike sunglasses, and nike tank, in full running gear complete with my hydration belt. then i plunked down $30 for overpriced nike headphones.

i decided that it would be a good idea to start running the actual marathon route so that i would be mentally and physically prepared to handle the course. i know from experience that running in a new place wigs me out because my brain has no visual references to tell me how far i've gone and how much more i have to go. plus i knew that if i didn't get any real hill training in, it would be a very real possibility that my legs would crap out on me. i followed the map from the race website as best as i could, and prayed that none of the roads i would have to run would be too dangerous during normal non-race, non-closure conditions.

so niketown is where i started. the first couple miles i weaved in and out of mobs of pedestrians, rushed through intersections and tried not to get run over. once i hit the embarcadero though, it was pretty smooth sailing. long flat blocks and i made nearly every green light. fisherman's wharf was a little crowded but not the clusterfuck i anticipated. from there i ran along the marina right into a fierce headwind. by that point i was about 5 miles into things. i started to tire so i took a gu and a walk break. i bought a water at little stand and refilled my bottles.

next came the stretch towards the golden gate bridge and the famous mile 7 with the bad ass hill. i ran through chrissy field and at one point missed my turn and ended up at fort point. so i doubled back and found "the hill". mother bitch! bikers dismounted their bikes, but damn if every single runner powered up. i was not one of those runners. i did my best but man, it was a no go.

and actually all of the presidio pretty much sucked ass. after that hill, came another. a long slow sucky ass hill. basically miles 7-10 were a combination of running, walking, whining, doubting, and near crying. i just could not will myself to run. my legs from my knees down were not happy. tight calves, tight soleus, rickety knees. all i could do was concentrate on just moving forward and enjoying the views of ocean and million dollar homes.

and while for every uphill there is a downhill, i don't much enjoy downhills either. but at least i was back to running. once out of the presidio, i ran in the bike lane on el camino del mar. and for the first time i was in a part of the city i'd never been before. i cursed every damn tree, every house. i was so tired. and my legs were seriously spent.

but i trudged on. because i saw the ocean! and a block before i reached ocean beach, right at mile 11, i spotted my oasis. BURGER KING!! just in time because i needed water and food. even though i had 2 gus by this point, my stomach was rumbling. and i figured if eating on the run was good enough for dean-o, it could be good enough for me. i popped into the BK for a bottled water and a small fry. yes, a small fry. i figured it had salt and simple carbs.

i popped a few tasty morsels in my mouth and held onto the bag for dear life. only 3 more miles to go through golden gate park. this is where the route got tricky because the map stopped naming roads through the park and i had to go by landmarks. the dutch windmill, the golf course, spreckles lake. and if i got lost, all i had to do was head for the panhandle and the japanese tea garden.

the last three miles were a pathetic attempt at running. my mind was long gone, my spirit pummelled and defeated, my legs tight, sore and pathetic. i ran when i could but mainly i walked. during this time, i just tried to pull myself together. figure out what i could learn and what i could do to make the next longer runs not suck so much. and therefore make finishing the marathon a reality.

i decided that i would run all my remaining long runs along the actual route. i also decided that it was imperative that i take my nutrition and hydration much more seriously. this is all stuff i already knew and should have been practicing already, but the thing is is that when i started thinking too seriously about this marathon thing, i would totally wig out, start to doubt my abilities and it would just spiral into total freakout, meltdown. so i'd been taking a more laidback approach, focusing on just one run at a time. this run however was a very rude awakening. and i'm hoping that the next month and a half before my taper is enough to be prepared.

because i ran from point to point, i had to get back to my car. my plan was to take a cab, but i quickly figured out that sf is not so much a cab kind of city. luckily it is a bus city. and after walking a mile further, i was able to find out what muni line i needed to take to get me back downtown. it gave me time to stretch though i didn't realize if i had just walked a block further i could have bought a gatorade at a gas station.

about 3 or 4 stops into my bus ride, someone actually came down to sit next to me. seriously dude? i have been running for the past 3 hours and you choose ME to sit next too. i mean sure my nips were at full salute since it was chilly in my wet tank, but seriously, i could not have looked or smelled that good. though after a quick glance around the bus i realized i wasn't the dirtiest person on the bus. ah, the joys of the city.

after traversing down haight, we finally made our way downtown where i made a beeline for a hotdog stand for a salty jumbo pretzel and a vitamin water. the pretzel ended up being a smart purchase because the swath of parchment paper made it was the perfect size to shield my chest and offending nips! i scarfed the pretzel down during the 4 block walk to the garage where my other treats awaited me. i threw on a long sleeve shirt and dug out my accelerade and grapes. by this point i felt totally bloated from all the liquids. once i had my fill, i grabbed my bags and headed for the gym.

for a spin class.

just kidding! who do you think i am?! i headed to a sf branch of my gym for a much needed shower. there was NO way i was gonna drive home in nasty running clothes. although i do have to say that my new running skirt was dry as a bone! but it felt ever so good to get into a warm shower, dry off and get into my jeans, dry socks, and my warm hoodie. by the time i changed it was about 5 pm. my original plan was to have dinner at a greek restaurant downtown but i realized that even after eating dinner, i would be stuck in rush hour traffic during the ride home. so i called my tita who lives in sf to see if she was home, and she was! score! she offered to make me fried chicken so it didn't take much twisting of my arm to forego gyros and hummus for homemade goods. and green tea ice cream! WOOT!

so now here i am, well fed, more rested, watching MTV with my cousin waiting out the traffic. i am definitely going to have to eat better and drink more before my long runs. because i'm realizing now that the only time i peed today was this morning. once when i woke up and once before i left for sf. also, i was under the wrong impression that because i have been stuffing my face the past 2 weeks that i wouldn't need to "carbo-load" before my run. dumb. dumb. dumb.

from here on out people, my training is gonna have to be different. much more serious. much more focused. let's hope it's not too late to pull this marathon outta my ass!

splits:
1: 12:04
2: 12:04
3: 12:09
4.19: 14:45 (i thought i hit the splits button but didn't)
5:10:56
6: 12:59
7: 13:22
8: 14:14
9: 14:39
10: 15:27
11: 14:32
12: 12:49
13: 13:19
14: 13:31
T: 3:06:51

15:14:56 (walk to bus)

i expected this

finding new trails to run is one of the best things about living where i do. even though i log a good amount of miles on the treadmill, i love getting my shoes dirty in the great outdoors. i rarely enjoy running along city (or in my case) suburban streets. i'd heard good things about rockville hills park, less than 10 minutes from my house. so off i went, planning to log an easy 5 miles.

easy they were not. and 5 i did not log. the trails were rocky, windy, and at places very narrow and right along the edge of the hill. the scenery and views were AMAZING but this was not the ideal location for me to get in my first few miles after a 2 week hiatus. about a mile into the run i realized the terrain was too rough and in places too steep for me to get in a good easy workout. so i turned back. along the way i ran into a super buff chick and her 3 super buff dogs! for awhile i also ran behind a man who at one point stopped, dropped, and pounded out some pushups. holy christ! i hope i'm that fit when i'm in my late forties!

once back to my car i decided i couldn't just call it a day, so i drove to the lagoon to finish out the rest of my run. and even though the terrain there was familiar and flat, my legs just weren't feeling it. neither was my brain. i managed to eke out another 2.25 miles, though.

so it's a pathetic re-entry into training, but it's to be expected. i'm very much looking forward to yoga tonight. i think my muscles need it. especially before i attempt my 14 mile long run tomorrow. yeah, we'll just see how THAT goes.

where i've been

GBW 2007

i'm the excessively sweaty brown one. our shirts say "gets better every time we come." we're klassy with a k, aren't we? click the photo for more fun vacation pics.

i've been doin' a lot of partyin'. and eatin'. and drinkin'. but not a lick of running.

in my defense, dc was insanely humid and this northern california girl has lost all tolerance for crappy weather. i packed all my gear to run, totally excited about running on my old trails again, but holy crap was it ever so hot and humid. i was out one night at 1 am and it was ridiculously swampy. i don't know how i ever trained for my first half marathon in that sauna last summer. my hat goes off to all you swampy runners. that shit is bru-tal!

i did find other ways to sweat though. my college bffs and i made our annual trek to dewey beach for some fun in the sun. i had my fill of crab cakes, tacos, thrasher fries, grotto pizza, and buckets of corona. then we danced it all off at the rusty rudder.

see? totally sweaty! so sweaty i had to wring my shirt out when we got back to the hotel. gross!



this is what $8.50 in french fries looks like. i swear i didn't eat them all myself, but i'm embarrassed to admit that i probably could have if i really wanted to.


i also spent some time back in the city, visiting other friends and my old office. i made it to the portrait gallery which opened late last year after years of renovation. i also did some major shopping, including a new running skirt!

but after a week, i was ready to get the hell outta there and get home. it surprised me how much my visit back made me realize moving was the best possible thing for me. i really had my doubts in the beginning. and surprisingly even though i'm back at home with the 'rents and waiting tables, i'm happier now than i have been in years. it's taken 8 months, but i think i'm FINALLY ready to start what i moved to california to do. START MY LIFE OVER AGAIN.

which happily coincides with my 29th birthday! festivities included a huuuge cookout, bowling, and karaoke! karaoke at a place called "uncle bong's pizzeria". how could you NOT have fun at a place like that?! our crew of about 30 took over and we had the best. time. ever. eventually our d.d.s got us alcoholics home in the wee hours of the morning and even managed to stop and get some late night mexican takeout.

so as you can see, a workout is in serious order. in fact, i probably shouldn't stop running until i hit next tuesday. but my, oh, my, is it ever so hard to get back on the wagon!

oh i almost forgot, here's a picture of my toe exactly a week after the ice-block incident!

whew!

got my stuff. thank GAWD!

i do want to post about my vaca, but i'm too busy unpacking and preparing for my birthday fiesta!! woot! truth be told i've been celebrating for about a week now, so the culmination of the actual day on sunday will no doubt tire this old lady out!

and for the record, this is my last birthday. i'll be 29 until no one believes me anymore. :)

i'm hoooooooome!

with my feet firmly planted on california soil, i can happily declare i'm home! but my luggage? not so much. mother bitches! i never check baggage but with the new liquids rule, i basically had no choice because i require excessive amounts of hair product and lip gloss. so i turned my bags over to tsa. and now look what happened!

i get ansty at the baggage carousel. i worry that someone will walk off with my bag and i'll be forced to confront them (or worse not realize someone has walked off with my shit). i worry that my bag will have busted open and all my dirty undies will be spilling out. and then i worry that my bags are in bolivia instead of sacramento, california. they've tried to assure me that they're on the next flight in, but who knows.

i was smart enough to carry-on my laptop and my custom orthotics for my running shoes, but not my actual shoes. my digital camera however is lost with the luggage, so pictures of my beautiful bruised toe will have to wait til later.

i bet you can't wait! (and say a prayer to the gods of lost luggage that my things make it safely back to me!)

i'm a brick house!

is it cheating if you break up your 12 mile long run with an hour spin class in the middle??

if you're asking why in the world i would even do such a thing, let me explain. tomorrow morning, my normal day off, i have to work. tomorrow night i leave on a red eye for d.c. thursday is my normal long run day, and tuesday is my normal spin day. a 12 mile run after a red eye seemed less plausible than a 12 mile run interrupted by a spin class. and if you're asking why in the hell would i bother with spin if i was already going to do 12 miles, let me explain. i am on crack.

spin has become kind of a drug. i have come to look forward to punishing my body on that bike. i can tell it's making me faster. i can tell it's making me tougher. it's just an hour a week, but that one hour a week is like training gold. so i didn't want to miss it.

and i couldn't miss my long run either. i'm going on vacay for a week and i know that a long weekend at the beach and a few days in the city catching up up with old pals will mean lots of food, lots of libations, and few opportunities to get my sweat on (besides dancin' my ass off). hence my pre-vacay exercise-fest!

the first 6 miles were pretty uneventful. i kept a nice, slow, easy pace. you could even call it fun! splits: 13:12, 11:56, 12:02, 12:16, 11:57, 11:59, .25 walk cool down.

then i downed a powergel and set up my bike. i thought for sure i would totally tank in class, but it's amazing what your body can do fueled by powergel with caffeine! we split into 3 teams to do anaerobic intervals, then we did a hill climb, then we finished with two sprint intervals. i didn't really start to feel it until we hopped off the bike to stretch. i was like, uh oh, these 6 miles are gonna su-uck!

and they pretty much did. i took half a powergel (no caffeine this time) and half a gatorade. from the waist up i was totally fine. from the hips down i was like lead. or more like tight, tight rubberbands. which i hear is a very common feeling for a brick workout. my splits are pretty abysmal but hey what do you want from me? my legs had been moving for over 2 hours at this point! splits: 13:43, 12:23, 12:22, 14:17, 12:54, 11:30, .25 walk cooldown. the only way i got through it was to just take it mile by mile. once i finished a mile, i walked to drink and at mile 9 i took the other half of my powergel. i considered bagging it at 10 miles, which would have been a valiant effort but i said to myself, fuck it you can pull 2 more miles out of your ass. and i did. i even managed to pull a 11:30 for the last mile. that last mile i just imagined myself on marathon day, climbing up the hills of san francsico, feeling super buff, super strong. the power of positive thoughts is a strong force my friends.

on the way home, i made two stops. the first was to in-n-out burger. i'm serious. i ordered a double-double animal style, protein style, fries, and a milk. for those of you who don't speak in-n-out, that's 2 burger patties with sauteed onions (animal style), pickles, tomatoes, 1000 dressing wrapped in huge lettuce leaves instead of a bun (protein style). i scarfed that sucker down like no one's business. and those french fries? sweet, sweet heaven. i didn't eat them all though. as hungry as i was, i just couldn't stomach all of them.

my second stop was to safeway to buy ice for my bath. they had 20 pound bags of cubed ice and 10 pound ice blocks. i thought 40 pounds of ice would be overkill, so i bought one of each. except that when i grabbed the 10 pound ice block, another 10 pound ice block fell out of the freezer and onto my left foot!!!!!

mother bitch! i was like freakin' steve carell in 40 year old virgin when he gets his chest waxed. so of course the clerks turn their heads to stare as i curse and hobble and hobble and curse. but does anyone come over to see what the hell just happened? no! fuckers!

so then i hobble to the checkout and i'm practically in tears at this point and does anyone offer to help the injured hobbling girl carry her 30 pounds of ice to her car? no! fuckers! i worked at that store one summer and i know for a fact that it is a rule to offer help out to any customer with 2 or more bags!!! you can bet i am writing an email to the manager of the store and ratting those lazy fuckers out.

so it's kind of ironic that the ice i bought to help ease my pain ended up causing me the most pain! and i know some marathoners end up with black toes and missing toenails, but i don't think this is how it happens to most.

so i bathed, both icy and warm. the toe is still throbbing like a mo'fo' and i'm icing it again. i hope i can sleep despite the pain 'cause i got a long day ahead of me tomorrow. but by this time tomorrow, i will officially be on vacay!!

needs no words

1: 13:00
2: 11:20
3: 10:48
4: 10:22
5: 10:02
.35: 6:57

T: 1:02:30

holla' atcha girl

on the docket today: 10 mile long run. aka the run where nearly every male driver stopped to honk at me. the SUV full of air force guys i didn't mind so much, but the dudes in the garbage truck. ick. proves yet another one of my theories: men will holler at anything in a skirt.

i chose a route straight outta the door of my house: to the golf course, around it and back home. a much hillier course than i've been running as of late. and hills are what i need to start getting used to if i'm not gonna die come october.

i've somehow lost my watch among my many possessions piled in my room and i've been running without it for a couple of weeks now. it's kind of nice because i don't get so caught up in my time and pace and i listen a lot more to my body. i did have my nike plus system though so i was able to clock the time of my entire run.

the first three miles were pretty smooth and when i reached the halfway point i was pretty stoaked to hear i was under an hour. there were times my mind would drift off and suddenly i'd drift back to consciousness and remember oh, yeah i'm running. i love when my body goes into autopilot like that. it's the closest thing i've had to an out of body experience. when i hit 8 miles though, i started to get a wee bit tired. only 2 miles to go i told myself. that's less than half an hour, you can do ANYTHING for less than half an hour.

the last mile kinda just sucked. i was tired and dumb enough to leave the biggest hill for the end. and just as i started my slow climb up, what song comes up on my ipod? the rocky theme song. i just had to laugh. what luck! so i huffed and i puffed got my ass up and over the hill and completed my 10 miles in 1:51:33!!! boys and girls that is an 11:08 average pace!!!!! for this petite chica, that is one big effing deal! holla' atcha girl!!!

i think i deserve a day at the beach, don't you?! happy thursday, y'all!

run, spin, run

tonight's workout kicked serious ass!!!

7:00 2 mile run

7:30 -8:30 spin class
i'd missed the last 2 weeks for family stuff, so i knew class would kick my ass. plus i was already hot and sweaty from my 2 mile warmup. i set up my bike and tried to mentally prepare myself for the hell that is spin class. then some tiny little twig of a girl set her bike up right next to mine. like closer than i usually set my bike up next to MH. beeyotch, what the eff is up with that? i swear to bob her waist was the size of one of my thighs. needless to say, i promptly put my shirt back on. i know, i'm such a hater.

after the warmup, the instructor says we're doing partner intervals. with MH gone this week, twiggy turns to me and asks to be my partner. effing great! the instructor then says that whoever if the youngest of the partners starts the intervals first. turns out twiggy is effing 18!!! a whole 10 years younger than me!! shit!

so yeah, as if spin wasn't bad enough i've gotta keep up with a hardbody teenager during anaerobic intervals. talk about motivation. i'm freakin' sucking wind just to show i'm not a lame old lady, and i swear to bob, someone in class farts!!! i nearly choked.

after that, we did a hill climb, then sprint intervals. fun fun. and oh yeah, someone in class farted AGAIN! lay off the frijoles before class people!!!

8:30-9:05 3 more miles
after class, i hopped back on the treadmill and went another 3 miles. the best part was i ran them at 11:20. and i wasn't even tired!! i'm thinking that luscious pork fat is my body's fuel of choice.

i'm feeling pretty much on top of the world! yay endorphins! i've eaten, showered, and my brother just called saying he's got the makings for irish car bombs and just bought the 80's edition of guitar hero. it's gonna be a long night, folks. but we both have tomorrow off! woot!

damage control

this morning i got up at 4:30 to get my ass on a treadclimber and a precor. in an hour, i burned close to 700 calories!! which doesn't even come close to burning off HALF of what i ate this weekend. pints of guinness and corona light (on different nights), homemade cookies, my weight in cheese, enough rice to feed china twice, and sweet luscious pork fat! (if you haven't had a roasted pig, you haven't yet lived!)

totally worth the 5 miles i'm about to log. and an hour of yoga to unblock any digestive chakras.

i wouldn't have to work so hard if i just ate like a lady :)

girl power

i've been too busy yapping about my fat arse to properly acknowledge that i've been "tagged" as a rockin' girl blogger. woot! thanks chicas. and to pay it forward, as anne says:

1. jen
from the second i started reading her blog i thought to myself, "she is exactly the kind of athlete i want to be!"

2. josie
who doesn't love a girl who loves spam? she has me laughing all the friggin' time! yet she can be so introspective and thoughtful.

3. neese
this is the girl who inspired me to do speedwork!!!

4. chicago gal
maybe she's my long lost sister or we were born on the same wavelength but it is so eerie how our lives are so parallel, even though we're on opposite sides of the country living very different lives. she's smart and isn't afraid to speak her mind.

5. gina
i envy the way she writes. so effortless yet perfectly and delightfully descriptive.

6 miles o' fun

redwood regional park

the most fun i've had on a run in a loooong time!
click on the image to see all the pics!

it was later (11 am) and warmer (high 70s maybe) than i'm used to, but the 40 minute drive to oakland's redwood regional park was totally worth it! bounding uphill and down, stopping dead in my tracks to admire the views, feeling so humbled and small beneath the redwood canopy, the smell of eucalyptus in the air...this is the stuff that running is made of!

60%

the schedule only has 6 planned for today. must be another one of those cutback weeks (gotta love em) so i don't really have a fire lit under my ass to get it done. it's very doable and the weather today is so mild i can do it anytime. it's more a matter of getting over the dread of boredom i've talked about before. i think running a new route might help, so that will require some thinking on my end. and i need to find the receiver to my ipod+. but i'm too lazy to do either of those things right now, so i'm blogging. about my weight! (aren't you lucky!)

when i started this blog back in september i was weeks from my first half and weighed 138 pounds. which is pretty hefty for someone only 5'3". but i've always been heavier than my petite counterparts mainly because i think i carry more muscle or have heavier bones, or so i tell myself. my profile pic shows what i look like at that weight and while you can't see the meatiness that is my thighs, i think i look pretty good. i felt pretty good anyway.

at that time, i was hoping to lose another 10-15, but i know from experience that weighing anything under the 135 mark is something my body can't do without great sacrifice. meaning working out hard, a lot. and more importantly, eating healthy 100% of the time.

today, i'm 10 pounds heavier than i was back in september (so the miss petite america moniker is a sham! shut up!) a lot of that has to do with the stress and change i've gone through since september. and the fact that i now live at home and my mom fills the house with goodies i never ever bought. her way of showing she loves me is to feed me. and i have no self control.

60% of the time i can be good. i have to subtract 25% for the week of PMS and 15% for my celebrating habit (drinking, birthday parties, family get togethers etc). this 60% does put me ahead, but only by a bit. so the weight loss, it's been slow. reeeeeeal slow. and if my workout regimen falters at all, the scale is unforgiving.

i know that if i really just focus, even just a little bit, the 10 pounds will fall away pretty easily. but the last 10-15 vanity pounds i'd want to lose? would only come if i borrowed madonna's personal trainers and nutritionists. and never ate anything i loved ever again.

and people really do live this way. some people actually practice raw, macrobiotic diets. some people actually don't drink alcohol! some people actually workout when they're upset instead of reaching for a bag of kettle chips! dean karnazes says he doesn't even eat his kid's birthday cake! sweet jesus, it's BIRTHDAY CAKE!!!!!!!!!! i know dean is like the god of distance running, but c'mon it's your kid's freaking birthday, and you ran like 500 miles this morning, i think you can eat a piece of friggin' cake for your son's birthday.

i vascilate between admiration and pity when i read/hear about people's perfect diet and exercise habits. i mean to have the dedication and discipline! but at the same time, to ALWAYS be that dedicated and disciplined can't always be fun. maybe that's the price you pay for having a "perfect" body.

judging by my 60%, i've chosen fun and food over 6 pack abs. because while it would be great to fit into my size 4 skinny jeans all the time, i just don't think i could give up beer and barbecue. or the random PMS krispy kreme. or garlic fries at the ball park. maybe it makes me weak. or less dedicated. or neurotically too attached to food. i think the best i could do is raise my 60% to a 75%. i am just a recreational athlete, after all. but it does sometimes make me feel like a porker.

i actually meant this to be a more positive post, as my size 6 pants are fitting again. and my skinny jeans are only 10 pounds away. i think what bothers me more than my actual size is my attitude. i feel like i should want to be healthier, want to be more hardcore about my diet and exercise. that i shouldn't stop until i'm 17% body fat. because even though i might be comfortable with my size and my body, i can't help but think that others see me running and think, "sweet jesus, she needs to put a shirt on" or "holy crap she's gonna start a fire with all that chafing". even at a healthy weight for me, i don't think i'll ever look like a runner. i always feel like that chubby girl in a sea of super-toned, super-fit hard bodies.

and i mean, sure it'd be great if i could be a hard body too. but i'm obviously not willing to work that hard. is that such a bad thing?

iron f*cking yoga

i had a hard time falling asleep last night, so when my alarm went off at 5:20 for spin class, i barely had enough energy to turn the damned thing off. my slumber was already ruined and since i get up at 6 every morning anyway, i got up to feed my ravenous stomach. yoga started at 8:30 so i laid my head down again only to wake up at 9. doh! but at least i was well rested.

i checked the gym schedule and it turns out there's another spin class at 5:30, but no more yoga for the day. so, i dusted off my iron yoga DVD and thought i'd give it a go. i bought it nearly a year ago and probably did it twice. now that i have some yoga under my belt i thought i might enjoy it more. especially since the yoga classes at my gym aren't particularly strenuous. they're definitely good for my flexibility and overall uptightedness, but not so great for strength.

now i remember why i only did the dvd twice. it's freakin' hard! and i didn't even use weights. i was all wobbly and sweaty. but i will say this: 1. i have plenty of room to improve, so i'll definitely get my money's worth from this dvd 2. it's a great workout.

the guy does get kind of annoying at times. annoying enough that i wanted to throw the remote at the t.v. (so very un-yoga like) but i think that had more to do with how tired i was getting in certain poses than him. because as far as dvd instructors go, he's pretty neutral.

i bought a pilates for abs dvd a few weeks ago that i have yet to crack open. and after an hour of iron yoga, i just didn't have the strength. maybe tomorrow before my long run.

does anyone out there have recommendations for good workout dvds they've tried?

then i said

that's cool. so the whole wanting to work out with me, that was all just to spend more time together?

basically, yeah. but i did want to start working out again.

and it doesn't weird you out that i'm your friend's older sister?

no. though your brother and his gf have been asking what's up with us flirting and all i could think was "i've sure been trying, but i don't know if she has." i didn't want to say, yeah i like her, then find out you didn't feel the same way. so i didn't say anything.

hmmm. well to be honest i'm not totally surprised. i kind of saw it coming. i didn't think you'd be so bold so soon.

well...i feel better now that i've told you.

the next day, i was over at his house watching the brazil/argentina game, and he kissed me. it was weird because i have thought about kissing him, but i never acted on it for a variety of reasons. and now that it was actually happening, i kissed him back. my brain told me i probably shouldn't. but gravity sort of took over and i found myself drawn in. it was nice. and it's been a loooong time since i've kissed a boy.

but it isn't that simple. i'm thinking now that taking this any further would be a bad idea. sure, he makes me laugh like no one's business and he's very sweet, and loyal, and gentlemanly. BUT we work together, he's friends with my brother and his gf, and he's 5 years younger than i am. and for other reasons i won't bore anyone with here, i already know he's not boyfriend material.

not to say that's what he's saying he wants or that anything serious will ever come of me and MH based on this weekend's turn of events, i just think now's the time to be very clear to him that this does not go past friendship. and while there are parties who say i could entertain a non-serious flirtation/fling thing, that's just not for me. after spending so many years with a really bad boyfriend, i vowed i would never put up with less than everything i ever wanted in a male. i spent so many years waiting, settling, that i don't want to get caught up in that again. and when it comes to affection, i'm an all or nothing kind of girl. i don't ever just kind of like someone. or kind of get involved. i can see myself easily getting carried away with the attention and the kissing. so it's just best to not cross the line, because for me it's always a hard road back.

so that's the end of the boring story folks. sorry it wasn't juicier. it does prove to me yet again that harry's theory of male and female relationships is right: men and women can never just be friends. at least in all my years of life, that has been the case. but it's good to know i'm not totally hideous to the opposite sex.

in workout news, i ran twice today! once in the morning at the gym. and after work on a real bonafide track! i planned on doing yasso 800s but after my first warmup lap, a group of volunteers for this weekend's cancer relay gathered on the track. and because i am stupid, i didn't want to stop and take any walk breaks in front of these people. so i did a 3 mile tempo run, walked a lap when they left, and then ran a mile cooldown.

.25 warm up: untimed
1: 10:39
2: 10:58
3: 10:30
.25 walk: 4:14
4.25: 13:35 cooldown
.25 walk: 5:30

total time: 55:20

this is the first time i've done my speedwork on a track. it was nice because it was outside and the wind kept me cool. but it was boring and i kept thinking i would lose track of how many laps i'd done since i was keeping track by mile and not quarter mile. but i'll definitely try it again.

and in all honesty, i didn't give my all as indicated by my splits. i chalk it up to the unwanted audience and the unfamiliar territory. because i don't feel like admitting i'm lazy today.

then he said

i really like you, and i want to get to know you better.

best hour of my day

9:00-10:00 pm. on the treadmill. a sweet, easy 5 miles.

i've been feeling congested since friday so i haven't really worked out. friday, i bagged my run but made it to yoga. yesterday after work i helped my brother's gf paint her new apartment. and because we had family over this weekend to help my brother's gf, there was tasty but fatty food aplenty. and for some reason whenever my brothers are around i feel the need to outeat them. it's a strange unspoken eating contest we engage in when mom's fried chicken hits the table. and don't even get me started when she makes adobo.

so yeah, a workout was definitely in order today. i dragged myself to the gym after a short nap. because my sinuses were congested i figured the treadmill was my best bet. if my nose erupted with snot, i could always dash to the bathroom. and if i truly felt like poop, i could easily hop off and drive home.

luckily, running gets the blood pumping and the generated body heat clears the sinuses.

right now i'm trying to watch the espys. but chances are i'll channel surf to the food network...

he's definitely related to me

27 pounds of ice

MH cancelled on me this morning. me thinks he was drowning his sorrows in one too many modelos last night after mexico's loss. but their loss was my gain, since i was already up and ready to go.

lately, i've been dreading my long runs because i've been fearing boredom. though once i start, boredom never really is a problem. most of the time i'm grateful to myself for getting my ass out. or sometimes i'm preoccupied with how tired i am and i'm pushing myself to go on. or my breath literally gets taken away at the sight of deer, rabbits, birds etc.

today's nine was no different. not the best but not the worst, more of a mixed bag of everything in between. i will say this: gu saved my life and flamenco music is fabulous to run to.

i forgot my watch but nike plus says i finished in an hour and 56 minutes. my stomach was giving me a few problems during my run forcing me to walk at times so my time was slow indeed. but considering all my body has been through this week, i'll take it.

not wanting to take any chances with any sort of soreness, i fixed myself an ice bath with 3 nine pound bags of ice. it's crazy but i have this crazy fascination with ice baths. i love 'em. i'm a masochist, i know. sometimes i think i do my long runs just so i can take an ice bath!

now i'm snuggled under the covers with a mug of chicken and stars, a bowl of strawberries, and some kettle baked chips watching pretty in pink. happy thursday, y'all.

not quite 100%

i attempted a run today. to play it safe, i kept to the treadmill. i got about 35 minutes into it before my stomach started feeling um, unpleasant. but at least i got something done. tomorrow morning, MH and i are off to spin. i probably won't get a long run in this week, unless i can pull off a miracle on friday or saturday evening. so, please pray for a miracle. i don't want to be a complete waste of human flesh this week.

uh oh, there really ARE pictures...

my digital camera somehow made it home with me. here are the goods...the bad goods...


drunk


drunker


drunkest (such a shining moment for me)


MH and i accosting the front desk


littlest bro and i makin' our mama proud!


littlest bro gettin' down


the knuckleheads


the girls

praying to the porcelain gods

actually, it was more like praying to the sidewalk gods, and the front seat of MH's car gods, and the bucket by the couch gods. because in the numerous times i puked this weekend, not once did i actually make it to a toilet.

i crashed a wedding this weekend, but i'm the one who crashed. HARD.

i didn't intend for the night to go as it did, but who really does. in my defense, i didn't even have all that much to drink. it must have been something about the alignment of the planets or maybe something that i ate. but saturday night sucked so hard it wasn't even funny.

unless you were my brother, or his friends. or MH. or any lucky guest in the lobby of the hotel who got to witness my shenanigans. i was tackling people. putting cigarettes in people's mouths. and apparently, doing some very unladylike dancing. sweet jesus. thank god my mother wasn't there.

i remember having a good time, and then i remember not. i vaguely remember getting into MH's car, but i don't remember puking on his shirt. or his car. i don't know how i got on the couch. or where my shoes or purse were. i woke up at around 4 am with a pounding headache and the desire to puke even more. at around 5 am, my mom woke me up to get me ready for work. yes kids, i had to go to work.

she made me a bagel and i somehow managed to put on my uniform and stand up.

the next 7 hours were the worst of my life. i had to go to work because a new girl was starting and i couldn't leave her to run the restaurant by herself. plus everyone at work knew i was at the wedding and i couldn't call out sick on account of being hungover. even if i couldn't stand up. so yeah, it pretty much sucked hard. i could not escape the nauseau, whether i was sitting, standing, laying down. the lowest of the low was when i finally puked yet again about an hour before the end of my shift.

finally, finally, finally i made it home, and on the couch with a huge plate of watermelon, gatorade and some crackers. i took some tylenol and took a nap. and finally, finally, finally felt like half a normal person. i remember at some point during my convalesence thinking, "i'm a freaking marathon runner in training and THIS is what i'm doing to my body?!? shit!"

i was tempted to take a picture of myself to remind me of the bad things alcohol can do to my body. but to be honest, i don't really know what happened. i really honestly only had 3 glasses of wine. there must have been some other odd factor to have caused such wretching of my insides. either way, it sucked hard. and even today, 2 days later, i still don't feel 100%. my throat still burns like hell. i don't know how bulimics do it. but i will say this: shit like this doesn't happen when i drink beer.

8 mile

first off, more eric eye candy. let's all swoon together.

second, i have running to report, finally. my last 2 workouts were on the bike, both of which kinda sucked. it took all i had not to spew my dinner during spin class. and i was sore an hour after class. back to back bike days really tax my hip flexors and quads. booooo!

wednesday, my normal rest day, was the fourth and the night of too many mojitos. thursday, my usual long run day, i spent at stinson beach. nothing but long naps and short dips to cool off. i got home at a decent hour, planning to run, but i was a bit tired and dehydrated.

so i resolved to run today. and by golly i did. 8 miles. on the treadmill, people. (insert your gasps here)

i didn't really want to run this on the treadmill, but by the time i was ready to run, it was already close to 8pm and there was no way i would finish before it got dark. so off to the gym i went.

apparently, i wasn't the only loser at the gym on a friday night because the place was pretty busy when i got there. but within the hour and 40 minutes it took to finish my run, the place really thinned out.

my run went from bad to good, which is about all you can hope for in a run. i'd been kinda cranky all day and i had a lot of errands to run after work. so the first half of my run consisted of me flipping through most of my playlist, unable to stand listening to one complete song. at 4.75 miles i reset the treadmill and tried to reset my mood.

turns out the tv did it for me. i got caught up in watching some football special about the 1988 forty-niners. boy did that bring me back. i'm not a big sports buff, but i do remember idolizing joe montana, jerry rice, ronnie lott, steve young, roger craig. i remember my entire family sitting around someone's big screen every week screaming our heads off. and this was before i ever drank beer! i remember the immense pride san franciscans took in our team and feeling like we were part of the legacy.

that last 5k was probably the best time i've had running in a while. at the end i had plenty of gas for more and my spirits were through the roof. for sure my pace was slow, but it was nice to be reminded how good running can feel.

is there room for me on that raft?

it's hot as hell today. i want chocolate more than anything right now. i'm bloated. i'm tired. and i could use a few glasses of wine.

instead, i'm going to spin class. whoop-ee.

the good news is tomorrow is the fourth of july! my second favorite holiday!! tomorrow is also my very own personal independence day. it's been exactly a year that i left my jack-ass loser boyfriend! WOOT! and i don't miss him one bit, FINALLY! more than anything, i feel such relief that he is no longer in my life.

so now i am free to frolick with my pretend celebrity boyfriend, eric bana. such a tall drink of water he is...

*sigh*

thanks again to all the bloggers for coming through. i think my brain is just in anticipation overdrive. right now the training is easy and familiar and i'm impatient. i want it to start getting hard already. weird i know. but i don't think it will start to feel real until it starts to feel hard. if that makes any sense.

speaking of training, i took sunday off because my knee was giving me issues. and today because my feet were still a little tender, i took to the stationary bike. nothing too thrillng. something like 15 miles in 50 minutes on the alpine setting.

today, yoga was with heavy breathing guy. at one point in class he actually told us to try to get our outbreath to sound like darth vadar. i know it's been a good yoga day when my legs are tingly at the end of class when we're meditating. i love me some downward facing dog. (that sounded ridiculously dirty, or is it just me?)

5:11:24

that is my projected finishing time for the marathon in october. and this is how i feel about it.

i'm already displeased with the results and i haven't even started. something's wrong here.

for the most part, i thought i wasn't too hung up on being a slow runner. but the idea of it taking over 5 flippin' hours to run is just ridiculous. like what is the point if i'm gonna run it that slow? can you even call it running at that point?! for pete's sake, oprah finished half an hour faster than i will. OH-PRAH! you're telling me if we were gazelles in the african desert, i would get eaten by the lion and she would make it away safely? she doesn't look particularly spry to me.

i mean my grandma could probably run it faster! one legged dwarves and blind monkeys running backwards could probably make it to the finish line faster. it feels like anyone can run it in that time, so how is it any special achievement that i can?

i know, i know, i'm missing the whole point of embarking on this endeavor in the first place. it's not about what others can do, it's about what i can do. but we'd all be lying if we said running isn't about speed or competition. why would we bother timing ourselves if it wasn't? why would we care about where we place in our age group?

i know that faster doesn't necessarily mean better. but it means something. and for someone who is used to working for and achieving anything she wants, a 5 hour plus marathon just seems so mediocre to me. and it pains me that no matter how hard i train, there is a limit to my physical abilities. i probably just need a killer long run to kick my ass and put me in check. then i'll be on my hands and knees begging, pleading, praying i make it out alive at all!

i've always been one to be more focused on the destination than the journey. ultimately, my motivation for running this marathon has to be more than just my finishing time.

i guess i have to think of it like this: while the marathon is my goal, there are many goals to achieve on the way. and the marathon itself is really just a small part of what makes me a runner.

2 shadows

so i know i said i was taking a week hiatus from running. i lied. i can't help it. the weather has been so perfect for running. and my feet don't hurt that bad. i've been careful to massage and ice with a frozen water bottle. and stretch like a mo'fo'. i thought at the very least i could see how i felt after a short, easy run.

i brought MH with me, which was a little nerve-wracking. i warned him i was slow. and i warned him that it was gonna be short. 4 miles only. he still said he was up for it. so off we went.

dude smoked me up the hills. rat bastard! i did all i could to keep up. but for the most part we ran side by side, listening to our respective ipods. some of the time i worried i was going too slow. part of the time i worried whether maybe it was too much. part of the time i forgot he was there. part of the time i'd try to speed up and he'd match it and add more then i'd think shit, i gotta slow down. but at 3 miles he said he was done. wtf? i was just warming up?

interestingly enough, our splits are slower than they have been.
2: 12:50
3: 12:34
.25: 3.33
T: 41:30

i'm not totally sold on the whole running partner thing. my mind was working overtime worrying. but i can definitely see him being useful for running faster.

it was meant to be

all day i was psyched about going to yoga tonight. i even bought my very own yoga mat! i've also been developing pain in my feet which i suspect to be PF, so i had even more reason to look forward to the stretching of my tight, malfunctioning muscles.

so i get to class, roll out the new mat. MH rolls in late, of course. but at least he showed up, which is more than i can say for the instructor.

as the minutes ticked by i was trying not to fume because well, i'm in yoga and we're supposed to be patient and shit like that. but then the other people in class started to annoy me. one chick suggested someone warm up the class. one dude was doing his own thing, most likely trying to show off. this other chick was talking on her cell phone.....

finally i got up, put on my flip flops and headed for the front desk. they had no idea where she was or what was going on. eventually MH and i left.

for the movies. this time evan almighty. and dinner afterwards. where i ate a huge ass bonzai burger, with fries and a hefewezien.

did i mention that part of my 5 week challenge was to not drink alcohol or eat fried food?

*sigh*

but i will say this: it was the most satisfying meal i've had in a long time. it hit the spot so much i don't even regret it. something deep in my belly NEEDED that juicy burger! and we all know runners need carbs.

and as for my odd feet pain, i'm laying off running for a week and doing some experimentation with my work shoes. i think the culprit for my injuries lately stem more from that than my actual running. so i'll be spinning and swimming my little heart out for the next week. and hopefully doing more freakin' yoga!

sweat management

all your recommendations are greatly appreciated, but...

i've used a running hat and a running visor and they both irritate the hell out of me because 1. my head gets hot 2. they get blown off in the wind (and it can get windy 'round here) 3. when they do reach saturation (and they always do) they just aren't effective anymore.

i switched to sunglasses mainly for comfort reasons. i just don't do well with head covering. but now i have sweat management issues to contend with.

i've tried bandanas, sweatbands. and yes they work up to a point, but again there's a point where they just don't work anymore. i don't care how much they say they wick. also, again, they make my head hot. so marcy, while those bondibands look freakin' cute, i think i would just tear it off some point during my run because my head caught on fire.

so i did some research and found this. looks a little nerdy, but actually kinda nifty. and i'm a sucker for sleek AND effective design. at $16 it sounds steep but if it really works then i'd be willing to pay double.

and don't even get me started on hair management. all you chicas with long hair who can pull it straight back in a ponytail, consider yourself blessed. chicas like me with thick short hair are screwed. unless i want to shave it off (which i consider on a weekly basis). i'm currently using the goody stay put sport headbands and they sorta kinda work. but after a while they stretch out and manage to slip their way to the back of my head NOT where it belongs. i cut my hair short in the first place because i have not ever found a hair accessory that can tame it. but when it comes to running, the sexy, side swept bangs don't work so well.

it's a hill. get over it!*

this week is a cutback week so today's long run was only 6 miles. to make it a little more interesting, i thought i'd add a couple of hills. nothing too crazy since i haven't run hills in a long while. but since the marathon is in sf, i figured i should start getting used to it. they have a nifty little tool on their website that predicts your splits based on your pace and the course topography (is that the right word?) all i remember is that one of the miles is so hilly it will take me about 15 minutes to run! RIDICULOUS!

so i set off this morning, channelling all the power in my hot pink tank. somewhere on my run, instead of pressing pause on my watch when i tied my shoes or stretched, i pressed the splits button, so no accurate splits.

1: 12:08 (including 5 minute warmup)
2:11:09
and then it goes to crap.
total time: 1:09:25
ave pace: 11:34

11:34 is NOT my long run pace. i know i should reel it in, but 6 miles no longer feels LONG to me. i'm wondering whether my pace will naturally slow down once i hit the higher mileage or whether i should really start to consciously slow my ass down. i will say this though, when i run at this pace, my outer calves never hurt. but when i run slower, they do. hmmm.

oooh, i also ran sans knee support! and they felt totally fine! didn't stop me from icing when i got home though. but still...the less i have to wear while running, the better. which reminds me, you know the sunglasses that made me feel like terminator last week? well this week, i nearly went blind from my own sweat. there was no evaporation whatsoever around my eyes. i really hate wearing a hat or visor because my head and hair get soaked through and the hat just gets heavy. any other suggestions? besides having a pacer follow me with a parasol.

*i did not come up with this clever bit. i stole it from a race poster i saw at my local running store yesterday.

suck-ing wind. big time.

spinning is something i consider only hard core crazy fitness freaks, i mean buffs, get into. i've taken it up once a week strictly because i know it's good for me. i seriously, seriously, seriously, doubt i'll ever like it.

it's just so god damned HARD! and last night kicked my ass. it felt like the room was hotter than normal. my legs burned. my lungs burned. we did a series of anaerobic intervals, hill intervals, then a retarded sprint at the end. my legs were toast. honestly, i was spent 45 minutes into class. the last 15 minutes...i have no idea how i kept my legs moving.

mentally, spinning is tough. it takes everything i have to not let my legs shut down. i swear sometimes i feel like my legs cannot POSSIBLY push or pull that stupid little pedal anymore. sometimes i feel like my lungs cannot POSSIBLY heave more oxygen into my system. but somehow, they do.

what i get from spinning is enduring an hour of pure torture. getting used to the exertion, the pain and ultimately the exhaustion.

it makes running feel like a piece of cake, sometimes.

when i got home, i poured myself a bowl of cherries, i popped in kelly clarkson's new cd (it effing rocks!), and sat in an ice bath for 10 minutes. today is a rest day, but i think i might go to yoga anyway. it's bendy power poses day!

side note: after all the drama that goes into the beginning of class, with "the list" and 3 people getting denied a bike, the chick in front of me had the audacity to take it easy! i swear she was gone for at least 10 minutes of the class and when she was on her bike she was pedalling like she was on a sunday morning jaunt through the park. AND she left early! and this was the same chick who last week told MH she would divorce him for not signing up for class right.

the five week challenge

in the next 37 days, i have:

6 long runs for a total of 51 miles.
5 speed workouts totalling 20 miles. (assuming a pace similar to last night's tempo)
8 easy runs equalling 31 miles. (assuming a 12:00 pace, my plan goes by time on the non long run days)
with a grand total of roughly 100 running miles.

i have 20 hours of crosstraining to do:
10 yoga classes
6 spin classes
4 pool workouts

and 8 days of sweet, sweet, rest.

my plan is to hit every. single. workout.

then i get a week to eat, drink, and be merry at the beach with my friends back east. there is no sweeter reward.

except for maybe how hot i'll look on the beach 5 weeks from now...

like peanut butter and jelly

or even better, peanut butter and chocolate.that's how i feel about running and yoga. they go together that well.

today's workout called for a 45 min tempo run. here are my splits:
1: 12:23 (includes warmup)
2: 11:30
3: 11:26
4: 10:43
.2: 3:44 (cooldown)
T: 49:47

some of you balk that i can stand being on the treadmill at all, much less close to an hour. truth is sometimes i prefer the treadmill to the outdoors. sometimes i want my music blaring really loud in my ears. sometimes i need the whir of a room full of machines to block out and help me focus. sure it means i sweat twice as much, but sometimes i feel like it makes the experience that much more intense.

plus it's convenient on yoga nights. i'm a newbie to yoga and know there are quite a few varieties. i've taken classes given by three different instructors: one man who's big on the meditation and breathing, one woman who is a little loopy and new age, but that's to be expected, and another woman who's into the power bendy poses. guess which one i like the best?

take that scaredy cat!

read my post from earlier today and you'll understand why tonight's run is such a victory.

running conditions this morning were per-fect. low 60s, zero humidity, beautiful sunrise. i planned an easy, flat 7 miler along the sacramento river. everything was per-fect. except for me. my calves were tight. my breathing erratic. i had to pee. i almost got run over by a train. i had the wrong kind of music on my ipod. i felt so heavy i just wanted to curl up in a ball and sleep. after 2 miles, i threw in the towel.

that run was the straw that broke the camel's back. wtf was up with me? why in hades can i not run without angst?

so i came home and blogged about it. admitted my fears. to myself and you bad ass runners i admire so much. and you know what? i felt better. i let those fears roll around in my head and heart long enough and released them into the blogosphere. it's like a 10 ton weight was lifted from my shoulders.

then i went to the nike outlet for some retail therapy. bought some new running tops, specifically a hot pink compression tank that is freakin' HAWT and sunglasses. i got some new headphones too. the ipod earbuds i've been using suck!

i got home and read wendy's comment and knew what i had to do. i made a new running playlist, suited up in my new gear (HAWT!) and got my ass to my favorite running spot.

i found that: sunset is just as nice as sunrise (yeah summer solstice). 10mph winds actually feel pretty good when the temps are in the 80s. letting my hair blow in the wind felt better than stuffing it under a bandana or hat. my new sunglasses make me feel like the terminator.

i ran faster than i have in weeks. faster than most of my long runs. but i guess i had something to prove. my splits:

.25 warmup
1: 10:36
2: 11:23
3: 11:46
4: 12:00
5: 11:33
6: 11:35
7: 11:30

we're talking an average pace of 11:30 people. and for me that's big news. and trust me i felt it. not so much that i wanted to die, but enough that i couldn't outright sing the tunes playing in my ears.

there's no denying i want this marathon. i've come leaps and bounds from my early days of running. and i still have more, people. lots more............

when will i get off the ground?

i'm 3 weeks into my marathon training and despite a rocky start, i think i've been pretty good and consistent about getting my workouts in. what i'm trying to do different from my past 2 half marathon trainings is add more cross training. and that seems to be going pretty well.

so then why does it not feel like i'm really training? and why is it that my running workouts are the ones that suck the most?

why can't i get myself to eat like a good little runner for more than a few weeks at a time? why can i not resist having a beer (or more) or a glass of wine? why do i stay up way too late some nights, even though i know i need my rest?

what happened to the little voice i used to have inside my head that helped me make all the healthy decisions regarding my training? what happened to that drive? that pride?

i've been thinking about this the past few weeks and the only thing i can think of is that i'm scared. the training for my last 2 half marathons were great. i was seriously high on training. but at my first race, i was suffering from a sinus infection and didn't know it. i had a horrible, awful race. i finished. but not without a lot of pain and concern for my health.

the training from that race also led me to get orthotics because of pain i was having in my feet. i was laid up for a good number of weeks, missing the army ten-miler that i really really wanted to run.

if you've been reading my blog for a while, you know how the training for my last half went. i went into bad-ass mode, ran farther and faster than i ever had, only again to get sick and stressed out with other life stuff that caused me to miss the race entirely.

and now my knees, that never really seemed to give me huge problems before, are of great concern to me. yes, they've been holding up. yes, i've been diligent about icing, and ibing, and hell, i even got into a freaking yoga class for them.

but i guess i no longer have a newbie's ignorance. or newbie's optimism. granted none of my injuries have been huge, but they've all been directly linked to the endurance running. and i think part of me thinks, what else will go wrong when i start piling on the miles? i've stopped focusing on my speed and hell, even keeping track of my weekly mileage because i think that ambition may have driven me to go out too far and too fast. so how else do i stay motivated? in what other ways can i celebrate my victories?

part of me also thinks, i just don't want to get my heart set on running this race when it can all go to shit come race day. i don't want to invest the next 18 weeks, if my body really can't handle it. i'm scared of wanting it, committing to it, because in the past things have gone to shit in the 11th hour, mostly because of things out of my control.

i know you can't plan life. and you can't live life scared of success because of past dissapointments. so what will it take for me to really own this marathon? to own my running? to not run scared but run free?

never send a man...

last week at spin there was a huge fiasco. some veteran spinners were denied bikes because they didn't know they had to sign up. some people got signed in on the wrong day, MH and i included. there was so much tension in the air i thought people were seriously gonna brawl over who got bikes. but somehow the spin gods were shining on us and when the dust settled we still ended up with bikes.

so yesterday morning as MH left the treadmill next to me to go to work, i said, "make sure to sign us up for spin tomorrow". and like a good boy, he stopped at the front desk to reserve our bikes. i saw him. with my own two eyes. drip gobs of sweat as he wrote in the book.

so today we get to class, arrange our bikes and start warming up. and the instructor starts reading off the names. and then i get this sinking feeling. i turn to MH....

MPA: are you SURE you signed us up for the right date?

MH: today's tuesday, right?

MPA: yes.

MH: then yes. we're good to go.

MPA: the PM class?

MH: uh...oh...there's 2 classes?

MPA: *sigh*

after everything that happened last week, we had to be those idiots! it was so freakin' embarrassing, only because i swear some of those veteran spinners are so damned smug. one woman actually said to MH, "you signed up on the wrong day? i would have divorced you!" i know she was just kidding but c'mon!

so what did we do? signed up for tomorrow morning's 6 am spin class. and next week's tuesday PM class. i did it myself. never send a man to do a woman's job.

and what did we do after that? hit the weights? jump on the treadmill? HA!

we walked across the street to watch ocean's 13. in my padded bike shorts. ordered a huge popcorn and chocolate covered gummy bears. seemed like the perfect thing to do.

just call me yogi

i managed to wake up from my nap late (of course), cutting my speed workout down from 60 minutes to 45. i need to get my act together and get to the damned gym on time so as to not cheat myself of precious training time. i run so slow i can barely get in any decent mileage by sleeping in.

the marathoning mortal program has 4 different types of tempo runs. todays was supposed to go: 10 min warm up walk, 10 min easy run, 40 min @ tempo pace (80% exertion), 10 minute easy run, 10 minute walk cool down. because of my lateness, i cut the warmups and easy runs down to 5 minutes each, leaving me 25 minutes @ tempo pace. i was also supposed to do strides after the cooldown, but again, i was pressed for time. but still, better than nothing.

as much as i hate running in the evening in a really crowded gym, i do have to say it's easier to get warmed up and into the swing of the workout. sometimes in the morning i can barely get my body to wake up.

after my run, i had about 5 minutes to cool off and towel myself off. i swear the amount i sweat is ridiculous. i look like i just jumped into a pool. i don't even bother buying white sports bras anymore. THAT would be obscene.

our regularly scheduled yoga instructor is out until july, but it doesn't really matter to me because i only started yoga last week! but let me just say it is the best decision i've ever made! it's relaxing and invigorating all at the same time. last week after class i swear i could feel my blood circulating through my body. but not in a weird way, in a good way.

taking yoga after my run was just the best. i felt like i could get a deeper stretch because my body was already warm. and it felt good to lengthen my limbs after spending an hour pounding on a treadmill. i doubt i'll be sore from yoga tomorrow. this week's instructor was more about stretching and breathing while last week's was more about the gumby power poses.

tomorrow calls for am swim and pm spin.

trying to keep pace

woke up late. MH was already at the gym. today, i'm the wimp.

i was only able to eke out 2.5 miles in a half hour. which sort of takes care of the easy run planned for today. as for the speed workout i missed yesterday, i'm hoping to make that up tonight. before yoga.

tomorrow will most likely hurt. just in time for spinning.

tonight's dinner

a bowl of strawberries and blueberries.

a haagen-dazs ice cream bar with almonds.

a bottle of zinfandel port.

who needs an entree?

my abs

one word: ow.

isn't there an easier way to a 6 pack?

this morning, 40 minute recovery run. sans MH. what a wimp.

a sweaty, super 6

my first long run of my marathon training (not counting last week's near poop disaster) is officially in the books. it was hot as hell and i sweat so much i could wring my shirt out. and i was inside! as i drove home from the gym i wondered how the crazy bastards running outside could stand it. it's like already 80 degrees at 9 in the morning.

the first half of my 6 mile run pretty much sucked balls. i could barely get myself to run 4.4 mph. i'm serious people. then i changed my ipod from russell peter's comedy act "outsourced" to john legend's latest album. only then was i able to crank out the remaining 3 miles without too much angst. i guess it's hard to run when you're laughing out loud.

my knees seem to be holding up ok. yesterday they were a little twingy so i ib'ed and iced. they didn't twinge a bit on my run, but i was wearing my miracle bands and now i'm icing. i've been running slower than molasses lately, but my fear of permanent injury is greater than my ambition and stupidity. i guess i'm old enough to know when to play it safe.

i'm doing an abs class later with MH and tomorrow he's actually getting up to meet me at the gym at 5 am. i've never seen a dude so motivated.

who will be the biggest loser?

lately, everyone at the hotel wants to lose weight. this from a crowd who smokes, drinks, and frequently enjoys the easy access to all kinds of food from the hotel kitchen.

there's my lil bro's gf, who's now in jenny craig and has rediscovered the gym because she's intent on losing 20 pounds.

there's the front desk girl who i don't know much about except that according to the guys about 40 pounds ago she was fit for a hip-hop video. that and she is seriously considering getting a boob job. she doesn't strike me as the type to know much about nutrition or exercise, but i could be wrong.

there's my friend MH who smokes and never sleeps. he works 2 jobs meaning he parties twice as hard. how he manages to play league soccer once a week i'll never know.

then there's me. a sometimes diligent worker-outer who eats like its her job because she is constantly surrounded by fabulous food at work and at home.

it appears us "dieters" fit into 2 camps: the wanna-be-skinniers and the wanna-be-fitters. this is a reality show competition in the making. it's like a science experiment and i'm interested in seeing whose approach "wins". i hate to make it about who will "win" because weight loss is very personal. and maybe i'm the only one who in their mind has made it a competition. when everyone around you gets fat together, you don't feel as fat. but if everyone starts getting smaller, you don't want to be the one left with a fat ass and doughnut crumbs on your belly.

though when MH told me that his plans for getting back in shape entailed going to the gym with me, i was pretty impressed. for a dude to say to a chick, help me get in shape i thought was pretty cool. i told him very sternly though that the only way i would work out with him was if he quit smoking, he agreed on the spot threw out his pack of cigs and went to the store on his lunch break to buy the nicotine gum. wow.

so last night, even though i already got my swim workout in and i had a long run planned for today, we went to spin together. and let me just say it helps TREMENDOUSLY having a workout buddy in a class like spin. i'm not convinced we should run together, but taking a class that i take only because i know it's good for me with someone even goofier than me makes it much more bearable.

i think he's hooked. and i think having a gym buddy might just make some parts of my training much more fun and therefore much more regular.

boo! i'm sore.

was it the yoga last night or the swimming this morning? who knows. all i know is i have a body full of neglected muscles making their presence known.

13 things

i love a good list. here's a recap of my weekend, recent workouts, and more personal oddities:

1. i waited on sinbad twice this weekend. he's taller in person. and thinner. and he hit on me. it was quite hilarious.

2. even though the giants lost, it was a great game. and of course i could not resist the garlic fries and beer. and just a note to bcg: baseball games are where all the cute guys are. whether they were married or not i couldn't tell, but they were cute!

3. the concert was a multi-act show of teenybopper pop acts including katherine mcphee, gym class heroes, hilary duff, and ne-yo. the camera really does add 10 pounds because both katherine and hilary are as tiny as toothpicks. i swear to bob i could have punted them across the arena. gym class heroes were cool enough to intrigue me to buy their full album. and of course, true to form, i had waaaaaaaay to much beer, prompting a gorgefest of mom's fried chicken when we got home. i guess i really am a bad girl. :(

4. i recently got a few responses from an online dating profile that i set up after breaking up with my last boyfriend nearly a year ago. after months of meeting only so-so guys, i rewrote a new "anti"-profile, just for shits and giggles. being totally not serious, i was sarcastic and irreverent. makes me wonder why these dudes responded.

5. i missed an xtraining and speed workout over the weekend, but got my 40 minute easy run in this morning. my gym is brand spankin' new and the first thing i thought when i walked in was "oooh it smells good in here!" i must be addicted to the smell of new plastic or rubber or something. the good news is is that there are now like 3 times as many treadmills as before! the bad news is that they don't overlook the weight room anymore so no more ogling guys. ooh also good news. i accidentally left the house without my knee band thingees, but it was all good because my knees felt totally fine!!

6. the gym also changed their class schedule around and they offer yoga 3 times a week at a time that i can actually take it! i'm hoping the other people in the class aren't obnoxious. i seem to always run into the holier-than-thou stick up their asses yoga people.

7. consistency is now going to be my middle name. i can't screw around and miss workouts. marathons don't run themselves. but another kick in the pants is that my brother's girlfriend, who i also work with, said to me the other day, "well you're the fat one"

yes, she really did say that to me. and no, i did not bitch slap her.

i restrained myself because i know it's not the truth. i know i haven't been a gym rat lately, but please. and seriously, who says that? and dude, if you want to get in good with the family, attacking the women is not a good move. not a good move at all.

i heard she started jenny craig with her mom last week. and she told me she went to the gym today. whatever, chica. it's on. bring it!!!

and because i heart jess, i will list 6 more weird things about me, if you guys can bear it:
1. i naturally have no underarm hair. which i am very thankful for because hair or stubble there grosses me out to no end!

2. i cannot stand the word "panty" or "panties"

3. why i think having indoor pets is gross: their buttholes are exposed. meaning they could rub them all over your stuff. ick!

4. i love the ocean but do not like swimming in rivers or lakes. i just think they're not as clean because they aren't as big.

5. i actually like getting my picture taken. which is probably more a sign of vanity than weirdness.

6. apparently, i sleep with my eyes partly open. at least i don't snore!

me? weird?

i was gonna post my pics from this weekend, but i'm too lazy right now. instead, i'll blather on about my own personal oddities, as per teacherwoman's tag:

1. at restaurants, i order 1 hot water with lemon and 1 cold water with lemon.

2. i haven't really prayed or gone to mass in about 5 years, but i always, always, always make the sign of the cross and say a quick prayer before my plane takes off.

3. i've used an apple computer since elementary school. not the same one, of course.

4. i like homemade ice cream sandwiches: ice cream between 2 pieces of bread. a hot dog bun works great in a pinch. (my list of weird food habits would be very long)

5. i buy colgate because it has a flip top cap. i can't be bothered to use 2 hands to open my toothpaste. actually, i choose a lot of my products based on this principle.

6. i can't stand things that are scented or perfumed. why would i want to smell like a piece of fruit? why would i want my house to smell like pine? why does everything have to have an unnatural scent attached to it? that's too many different smells. why can't things just smell like what they are? this coming from the girl who loves the smell of post-its, scotch tape, and new computers.

there could be a lot of beer in my future...

i took to the semi dark streets this morning after driving to the gym to find that the grand reopening wasn't until 6 am! what kind of person gets to the gym before they open!? and this from a gym that's open 24 hours!

so once i got back ot my house and changed into more appropriate clothing i didn't have the full 40 minutes as my scheduled dictated. but i figured 30 would be better than nothing. and i wouldn't have time for a run later today because i get to go to the giants/a's game tonight! woot!

last time i watched a battle of the bay there was an earthquake. but it's not the world series so hopefully we're safe. seriously though, i shouldn't even be joking about it.

on saturday i'm also going to a concert. so this weekend could mean high beer consumption. if i was a good girl, i would abstain. i haven't yet decided...

it was bound to happen sometime

for a variety of reasons, i bumped my long run to today. i set out later than usual and worried that the 70 degree temps were gonna sap all my energy. turns out it wasn't the heat that got me, but rather my stomach.

yup. you can probably already guess where this post is headed.

i started off ok, the heat was bothering me a little bit. especially while running past a field of cows. i should have taken the smell as foreshadowing to what would happen to me later. instead i was distracted by their very loud chorus of mooing. damn cows were heckling me!!

i continued up the country road and turned around around at the dead end, passed the cows again (screw you cows, you'll be my dinner one day!) and headed back for the lagoon.

and then, it happened. that familiar gurgle in your gut. that tells you, um, you might want to, you know, stop what you're doing and, um, find a toilet. except that i was about a mile and a half away from the bathrooms.

now i realize i could have been worse off. but when you're smack in the middle of this type of situation you're really only thinking of the immediate situation. i slowed to a walk, hoping that the less jarring motion would calm things down. and it worked for a while. at one point i felt okay enough to bust out in sprint towards the potties. but that didn't last long and we all know i can't run that fast anyway. all i could do was hold on, keep walking and try to ignore the fact that i was now totally sweating from the sheer act of not shitting myself.

after what felt like an eternity, i finally made it to the bathroom. never have i ever been so glad to see a nasty, park toilet in my life. and luckily i had enough wits about me to check that the stall i had chosen did indeed have tp.

i considered finishing the full 5 i had planned, and started a slow trot to test things out. quickly, my trot turned into a walk and i headed for my car. no 5 miles today, but at least i didn't have to drive home in poopy pants. i've been running for over a year now and this is the first time i've run into this "problem". let's hope it's another year before i find myself in this situation again.

back to reality

i have actual running to report!

yesterday was day 3 of my official marathon training, and i had already missed day one and two. i guess i was too busy being engaged to pat sajak. yesterday called for an easy 40 minute run but when i got to the gym in the afternoon the line was 3 people long for a treadmill! i didn't have that kind of time to wait so i hopped on the stairmaster. i read somewhere it simulates hill training.

i don't usually use the stairmaster because it makes my feet numb and i'm not exactly sure if i'm using it right. but this time i used to one that looks like a mini-escalator. holy sh!t that machine is intense. it was like the stairway to hell! i was only on level 5 but i could seriously feel the burn. 40 minutes later i had climbed 121 stories!

this morning, after a fitful night of sleep i got to the gym at 5 am, my usual time, and cranked out a twinge-free, pain-free 3.15 miles. my long run is scheduled for tomorrow, but i'll have to see how the knees hold up today.

but i'm on my way folks...

open for interpretation

DREAM ONE: in order to get home, i have to cross this really long, really old, narrow rickety bridge. it's a suspension bridge that is so long i don't even see the other side. it's just old wooden slats and a single cable on either side. and there are a TON of other people already on the bridge. they're just hanging out, watching the whales in the river down below.

so i'm walking along as carefully as i can, scared out of my mind and really irked at all the people just chillin' having a good old time like the bridge isn't scary when they're making my trip across that much harder.

at some point along the bridge, i notice a trader joes. i say to myself oooh! and go in, shop, and then continue my way across the bridge.

FINALLY, i get across when i realize i don't have my trader joe's bags! i remember leaving them in the bathroom at the store (ew!) so i get back on the bridge, make my way back to trader joe's, find my bags, then make way back across. along the way i run into 2 people, one i'm still friends with and one i had a falling out with. but i managed to be polite to both of them.

when i woke up, i swear my heart was still racing from the fear of crossing that scary bridge.

DREAM 2 (a few nights after dream 1): i'm in my room and i guess i'm sick because a doctor gives me the option to have surgery to remove part of my intestines or something like that. i tell him i have to talk it over with my mom first. but i remember him being cute and i think i was flirting with him, and i remember thinking ot myself in my dream what an odd situation it was.

so then i go downstairs to another room to make out a list of pros and cons of the surgery and i decide to go through with it. so i go upstairs to tell the doctor and he tells me i'll be recovering for 4-5 days.

then suddenly, i'm at a design conference, where there's a really boring speaker. so i get up to go to the bathroom (why is this a recurring theme?) and as i'm making my way through the really large bathroom, someone yells, "so and so is speaking next and he NEVER gives speeches" i have no idea who this person is, but i figure it's important and turn around to make my way back into the room. and as i'm walking back, i keep finding money on the grass. just random bills every few steps. then i find more and more and realize they're 50 dollar bills and i'm just stuffing them into my pockets (i dream about this a lot too!) so i get back into the room and this famous dude i don't know is speaking and i notice the cute doctor there. but he has his baby with him. all this other stuff happens that i don't quite remember but it involves every other person in the audience getting sprayed with water.

then suddenly, i'm with a bridal party and i'm dressed in an ugly aqua gown talking to the other couples. one couple is my best friend and some dude i don't know, another couple i don't recoginize but in my dream i know them. and my date is PAT SAJAK!!!!! in my dream, pat sajak is my fiancee! i make some random comment about how everyone else is from new jersey. so pat and i are holding hands and smiling at each other. and in my dream i'm thinking about how lucky i am to be with pat and what a great guy he is etc. i even take pat by the hand to introduce to the cute doctor to make him jealous.

so everyone in the bridal party decides this design conference is lame and we go to a different bar to get some drinks. we all sit down on the patio of this restaurant when this young hippie girl runs up to us doing cartwheels saying we forgot about her and that it's her 21st birthday. and we're about to invite her to join us when i wake up.

so...what the heck does this all mean? besides that i'm crazy.

blech

i don't know what's wrong but lately i've either been having bad dreams or not sleeping well at all. i've been in a funk and can't really figure out why. i just hope i shake it off soon. because honestly, it sucks.