CHEERS!

DUDES!!!!

i got a new jobby job!!

**dances the running man**

WOOT!

not only did i rock the socks off the marketing manager and general manager of this company but i was able to negotiate a higher salary than they originally offered! that is the first time i've EVER done anything like that in my entire life. and all i can say is THANK GOD i finally grew a pair and asked for what i was worth :) i'm honestly more proud of myself for that than i am for landing the job. seriously, being an adult totally rocks :)

and to top it off, when i gave notice at my current job they were totally sad. and bummed. and fear-stricken. not to toot my own horn but i knew they were thinking, 'shit. what the hell are we going to do without her?' because i do a lot. way more than my job description. honestly, they've gotten so used to me figuring out any problem or question, from small to big things that they've become lazy in learning and figuring things out themselves. and what they've entrusted me to there will be nearly impossible to teach anyone or even try to write down in the 2 weeks i have left.

but i felt really touched when my boss said that they were really sad to lose me. and that i was a really valuable employee. i confided that i considered asking for a raise, but figured since they were cutting everyone's hours that it was going to be impossible. and he said, i should have asked because he would have said yes! he said that i should never be afraid for ask for things like that, and that's what gave me to balls to negotiate a higher salary at my new gig.

so boo-yah!

here's to working hard. and working harder. and always always always finding a way to grow and be valuable to your team.

my new job isn't glamorous. it isn't Las Vegas. and it's in the same small sleepy suburban town that i live in now. but with what they're paying me i can be DEBT FREE in a year!! i can get web design experience that i don't currently have. and i get the feeling they hired me because of my extensive corporate branding experience. so i hope to be instrumental in bringing a fresh look to this company, standardizing their corporate identity, and getting them up to speed on email marketing campaigns which they don't currently take advantage of. and that my friends, is very exciting stuff for me. even if it does deal with wholesale flooring supplies ;)

if you would have asked my 22 year old design graduate self if i would have found that kind of work exciting, i would have rolled my eyes and said hell no. but what i've learned over the course of my 10 year career is that everyone deserves good design. and if i can help flooring supplies get sold so that people can have houses to live in and buildings to work in and places to play, then hey i'm pretty happy about that.

thank you guys for all your support. it's been so rough. and i know it's been rough for a lot of people out there. and all i can say is, keep the faith, keep at it and most of all, believe in yourself.

i feel like celebrating

the interview went really well. we saw eye to eye on a lot of things and was pleased to hear her keep saying 'good! good!'. it also appears our salary expectations are similar, which was what i was worried about the most. i will hear soon as to whether i get called back for a second interview at the end of the month. and from what it sounds like, i'm the only currently employed designer they are interviewing. hmmmm?

small miracle

i have survived 2 days with no snacking and no eating past 6:30. we even went on a walk each day.

i <3 spring.

maybe too late to slim down and tone up for bikini season, but i'll take any steps toward good health any day.

forward

i have another interview! on thursday!

the official word

Las Vegas called. she said she really liked me and really wanted to hire me but that they were pressured to go with an internal candidate. but she said she would definitely keep me in mind if a position opened up. she sounded pretty disappointed. and i felt better because i really felt like we hit it off and that it was gonna be a good fit. and at least i wasn't imagining that. so now we're linkedin and hopefully my good impression will lead to something.

so i guess for all the ways to be rejected, that was the best possible way. it reaffirms that i've still got it and like i said earlier a good interview is still a victory.

so we plod along again. opportunity is on the horizon. i know it.

no news is still news?

no word yet. and technically they are still within their deadline. they should have finished their interviews sometime last week. so it's not entirely bad that i haven't heard back yet. but i'm tired of waiting. tired of giving myself mini-heart attacks every time my phone goes off or my inbox gets a new email. and i've resisted the urge to post every day about the waiting. oh the waiting. because who wants to read a blog post every day that read, 'nothing yet. my impatience grows. looking for vodka.'?

i haven't been able to keep my mind off of it. i try and think happy positive thoughts. to, you know, sway the universe. even though i've done everything i can do at this point. then i try to think 'realistically' and brace myself for the possible rejection. but some part of me isn't ready to give up and say no until the fat lady sings. then i try to distract myself. but work is only frustrating the hell out of me right now. and once i get home my idle mind just swirls and swirls in its own worry and impatience.

i still haven't even unpacked from the trip. or put away the laundry i did before i left. i'm a mess.

and it's sad. or is the right word pathetic? i just can't get my mind unstuck from waiting. it's my least favorite thing to do. and i am very bad at it.

part of me feels that if i was their first choice i would have heard back by now, considering it seemed like they wanted to find someone sooner rather than later. and that the only reason i haven't heard back is because they are still waiting for their first choice to accept their offer. and the more time passes, the less my chances are of being called with good news.

granted it's only tuesday. so i think, maybe they haven't decided yet. maybe they haven't gotten everything approved by corporate. maybe. maybe. maybe.

it's so frustrating because i felt like i totally nailed the interview. it really felt like one of the best interviews i ever gave/had. though i do recognize that everyone else may have given the interview of their lives and while i believe i am fully qualified (if not over-qualified), i am sure every candidate they interviewed was qualified too. i know that a rejection at this point doesn't mean i didn't do awesome and that i am not qualified. it just means that i wasn't the right fit.

but at this point, i'm sick of hearing 'you're great but we are slow and not hiring' or 'you're great, but no thank you'. i hate my job. i want out. and i know i can do better. something's gotta give.

because i have wrought myself sick over this already, i have decided that the answer must be 'no' and i have to move on. (especially since i sent a follow up email this morning and haven't yet received a response, even though their normal response time has been 24hrs) i am sick of this holding pattern. i must return to the land of the living and functional.

UPDATE: i feel much saner now after having written this. thank you blogger.

march, already?

...and i'm back.

and i gave one of the best interviews i've ever given. i was a little nervous going in, but once i started talking it was so easy and natural. i would be surprised if i didn't get the job. but i'm not counting on it either. i mean what if everyone else gave the interview of their lives? regardless, though, i'm am very proud of my effort and it was such a boost to know i've still got it together. ya dig?

we weren't totally debaucherous in sin city, since we were there for business and for less than 36 hours. though i did have a run in with my nemesis, tequila, after my interview. the drive there and back, adjusting to the dryness of the desert, and the indoor second hand smoke took a pretty good toll on us. we got home late sunday night, i had jury duty in the morning, was relesased by 10:30 to go back to work and fix shit that got messed up in the day i was gone. so i got home monday night, ate dinner, then slept.

now i feel more normal. and must resume my lenten promise. my body feels all outta whack and i need to be good to it again.

p.s. keep praying. they have other candidates to interview this week, so i should know sometime next week.