wii fit is my friend

it said i lost 4 pounds.

i love you, wii fit.

writing stuff down

as i said yesterday, i started a food journal. and boy is it working. i eat less. i eat better. and i'm less hungry. all because i'm more mindful of what i eat, when i eat it, and how. i'm not worrying too much about calories and such, but i'm taking the time to choose and plan healthier options than hastily choosing what's fast and good. i've stopped eating after 6 and it's easier than i thought. i'm making a conscious effort to eat slowly and chew my food instead of inhale it. fancy that! no seriously, i am like the queen of inhaling food. i take like 3 bites, swallow, then continue to scarf. it's no wonder i overeat.

i also find i'm not eating just because i'm bored. or upset. or emotional. knowing you are going to have to write down everything you eat really makes you stop and think twice. because i'm also the queen of indulgence. i found a reason to indulge myself in a treat probably everyday. "i'm stressed." or "i'll workout later." (only to take a nap) or "i'll start my diet next week. i should get in all my treats now while i can." knowing i'll have to write my food down makes me stop, think, and realize i'm turning to food for comfort. and in that second my brain goes through a list of other things i could do to cope. last night, i kept a food binge at bay by watching videos of my nephew.

i know, it's only 2 days. but i'm already seeing the benefits. plus i got a cute, red pocket moleskine calendar to write everything down in. i am a geek for notebooks and theirs are by far the best ever.

i'm hoping it will also have enough room for me to keep track of my daily spending. if you have any good tips on budgeting software or techniques, please send them my way.

today i:

1. woke up later than i wanted but still had time to eat breakfast in peace, curl my hair, and rock a purple eyeshadow look.
2. found out i didn't get the job i interviewed for on monday, but realized i didn't really want it anyway.
3. cut about an hour off a project at work by coming up with an ingenious shortcut!
4. resisted the urge to nap by doing yoga and felt 10x more invigorated!
   
5. took a candlelit shower.
6. was reminded for the millionth time that my boyfriend is the best.
7. finally figured out how to purl!!!!!!

happy humpday

today i:

1. finally learned the purl stitch!
2. set it up so $100 more gets put towards my last credit card every month.
   
3. set it up so more $ gets puts towards my savings every month.
4. made some awesome mac n cheese with tuna.
5. started my food journal.
6. spent 25 minutes on my wii fit. stupid pushups and side planks.
7. got mucho praise at work today.
8. made my bed :)
9. scored tickets to tomorrow night's king's game featuring the jabbawokeez at half time!
10. got to bust out a new eyeshadow palette!

Episode 5 - JabbaWockeez in America's Best Dance Crew - Funny video clips are a click away

paying attention

every year, i look forward to lent. crazy, i know. it's like spring-cleaning for the soul. and by the time easter comes, the days are longer, the weather is nicer, and it really is a time for rejoicing no matter what you believe in.

lately, i've been thinking about why i've been feeling so stuck. it strikes me as odd that i am so happy and so in love yet so dissatisfied with a lot of other things in life. like my job. like my weight. like my lack of motivation to really fix those things.

there's a lot i could go into regarding the why and i honestly won't bore you. simply put it comes down to this: i need to stop worrying about what i can't control.

so my lenten promise is to take better care of myself.

be more mindful of what i feed my body. be more mindful of how i treat my body. be more mindful of how i spend my time. be more mindful of what i watch, what i say, and what i do.

be more deliberate, and less rushed. less frenetic. more purposeful.

be more mindful of how i spend my money. be grateful for what i have by taking better care of my things and sharing what i have in excess.

wake up earlier so the first hour of my day is just for me. and spend a few minutes every night listing all the things that made me happy.

countdown to valentine's day

just so you know, i've always loved valentine's day. even when i was single. it goes back to the days in elementary school where we made cutesy mailboxes to put on our desk and went around dropping cutesy little cards into each one. for me, that holiday craft was so much more fun than making turkeys by tracing your hand.

anyway, sg has a romantic weekend planned. we're going here.and staying in the moon hot tub suite. i know, my life is so hard. there will be dinner and a live band and dancing. and even though it's forecasted to rain the entire weekend, i'm sure we will still make good use of the hot tub on the balcony overlooking the lake.

i. love. my. boyfriend.

we're moving in together

but it's not what you think.

sg is moving in with me...

and my parents.

yeah, i know. crazy.

we ran the numbers and it just made the most sense. why drive an hour every week to see him? why pay upwards of $1200 for an apartment while he's out of work for god knows how long? we're hoping to not have to touch the severance bonus they gave him and pocket it for a rainy day (or maybe some shiny bling for our engagement). we will even be able to actually save some of the money he gets from unemployment and i won't have to work the weekends schlepping bloomin' onions.

but yeah, i know. crazy.

my parents were surprisingly sympathetic and open. and while i'm not so naive as to think this is just gonna be peachy, i think it's still for the best and i'm grateful my parents are so generous. if all 4 of us can get through this situation, then we really were meant to be family.

seven months and counting

sg and i celebrate another month together. seven in total. i know you all think i'm crazy keeping track of months when you all have decades under your belt, but being in love with "the one" has been the most amazing thing to happen to me. it boggles my mind how i can love him more everyday. and i'm amazed at how the simplest things make me feel so happy and so complete.

this month, though, i think he and i became, "we". it has been our most stressful month but instead of being at odds, it brought us together. and i feel like we crossed yet another huge milestone in our lives together. we were on our way to my cousin's birthday party and he was driving and we were just talking and holding hands and i just looked at him and thought "wow, this is my forever." it felt so natural and wonderful for him to be part of my family and there was no where else i wanted to be in that moment than right next to him. and i've been getting that feeling a lot lately.

once i realized i could leave my family to start a new life with him, i feel like we seamlessly flowed from his and hers to ours. with his layoff, sg and i now start talking about starting "our lives" and "our future", with "our money". and i don't flinch. being a part of 'us' is more important to me than just being me. and i finally feel like i'm not necesarily losing 'me' in the process. i am now just part of something bigger. and honestly, i couldn't feel more proud.

next month, sg and i are headed to dc where he will take the preliminary test for employment to the capitol police. i have a friend who works on the force and is now one of nancy pelosi's bodyguards and can most likely push his process through much faster than the normal 6 to 12 month time frame. which is a good and bad thing. good, because he'll be working sooner. bad, because it means i have less time here.

i'm concerned about whether or not this is necesarily the right fit for him. luckily, i don't have to worry about his safety because it is the safest law enforcement job ever. apparently, guarding the capitol and members of congress isn't all that risky. thankfully. he doesn't think he'll get anywhere with his degree and his experience, considering the economic situation. and he thinks this will be a great opportunity to get in with the federal government. for him, working is all about money and security. for me, the starving artist, it's about living up to my creative potential. they pay pretty well and of course are very secure and it will give me the freedom to pursue what i want without necesarily worrying about being the breadwinner. we're hoping that this training could lead to many different opportunities and the upside is that law enforcement is needed everywhere so a move back to california is very much possible in time.

and hello! being married to a man in uniform!? yum!

but we'll see what happens. we have some other leads but nothing concrete yet. so we're still plugging away like the rest of you.

in other news, i picked up a weekend waitressing gig. again. it seems i can never hang up my apron. to be honest, i do enjoy it. and the extra money will definitely be nice. let's hope it's like riding a bike. it's been a year.

other than that, not much else. i've been burning calories by worrying and not sleeping. i picked up jillian michael's 30 day shred the other day and am going to try it tomorrow morning. i hear it's killer. hopefully it'll help me get down a size before my return to dc.

interview of a blogger

one of my favorite bloggers, stacy, at dare to tri wants to know:

1. What makes you laugh the hardest?
when someone does something so innocently cute when they think no one is looking. it's obviously unrehearsed and that moment can never ever be replicated or copied.

2. What do you look forward to in 2009?
finding a great job. sg finding a great job. hopefully, being in a stable enough financial place to get engaged. getting back into shape.

3. Who would you consider your mentor and why?
this is a tough question. i don't know if i have one now. in college, i had 2 professors who were instrumental in me leaving my intended major to become a designer. and after college, i worked for 6 years for a woman who was not only my boss but a surrogate aunt. the closest thing i have to an older brother is my friend dale. he's 6 years older than me, always finds a way to be objective yet compassionate, and never judges anything i tell him. we don't talk more than once a month, but he's always there when i need him and our friendship never seems to skip a beat when we reconnect.

4. What's the best and worst thing about being a woman?
best: i think women have more options than men, at least in america. men have stricter defined social roles whereas i think that women have more opportunity to try different things and fulfill many and multiple roles.

worst: i hate that we are considered the "weaker" sex and i feel the need to prove otherwise.

5. What is one fear that you would like to conquer?
i would soooo love to have the balls to negotiate. i can't even haggle prices at a flea market. but i'd love to be able to demand a certain salary and get it or cut through salesmen bullshit and get a fair deal on a car or talk credit card companies into giving me better rates.

i am such a pussy when it comes to stuff like that. i am the eternal peacemaker and would rather pay a small price to avoid confrontation. and in the end i'm ok with that. but still...

To play along:
1. Leave me a comment saying, "Interview me."
2. I will respond by emailing you five questions. (I get to pick the questions).
3. You will update your blog with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview others in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.