day 3 of cross fit: run 400 meters, do 30 wall balls. repeat 2 more times.
i heard this was intense. i heard it would HURT like hell. sg didn't even finish his when he went last week.
everything i heard was true. running is hard enough. running after doing 30 squats and throwing a medicine ball up above your head at a wall is harder. doing it three times in a row? BAH!
it's a tough 15 minutes. and ugh, stupid "lara croft" had the camera on me while i ran in my second lap and i didn't know it til i got close. b!tch!
i work tonight and hope to crank out my final 2 introductory workouts in the next two days. thankfully i have the next two days off and while i'll punish my body for an hour each day, we have nothing but relaxation planned for the rest of our hours this weekend.
sg and i went on a mini vacay the last two days and i have plenty of pictures and stories to share. but like i said, i'm relaxing :)
Saturday, May 23, 2009
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
avenue of the vine 5k - sg finishes his first 5k!
at the start line
happy racers!what put him over the edge was seeing a pregnant lady! running!
we talked about goals the night before, and since we hadn't had a dedicated training run in about a week and a half, we decided to just aim for our normal training time of 40 minutes. plus race day was gonna be HOT! like in the 70s at start time at 7 am hot.
i couldn't tell if he was nervous. i just think he was soaking it all in. and concentrating on sucking in his gut as people with 2% body fat walked by. he was fascinated by the sea of ridiculoulsy fit people. but i mentioned that there were normal people like us. and that everyone in between fit in too.
as for the actual race itself, we started off at a 2 min run, 1 min walk interval. after some time that switched to a 1 min run, 1 min walk interval. then it turned into a run when he could and walk when he could interval. though early on i told him to be aware of the people around us and lock on. find someone to pull you through. and towards the end, he did lock on and say "oh my god, we HAVE to beat her. promise me we'll beat her. and if i can't beat her, promise me YOU will" i said, " i'm not leaving you, we're beating her together"
i pushed. he cursed. i pushed. he took a breath, then poof, off he went. and we ran, ran ran. to the finish! just 30 seconds under his goal time! i even let him cross the finish line first ;)
it wasn't until later, after we had gotten our wine glasses and tastings, cooled off under the misting tent and were sitting in the air conditioning in the car eating watermelon that the thought occurred to him that the finish line was the perfect place to propose to me. what a missed opportunity!
but i said, "you've had the date in mind for a long time, i'm sure it's the right decision" while secretly thinking, "i could have the ring right now you buffoon!"
but in all seriousness, we had an awesome day! and while he's not itching for the next one, i am... :)
finishers are winners!Saturday, May 16, 2009
happiness is not a motivator
i've never done drugs or had to go to rehab for alcohol or anything. but if there was a food rehab, i'm certain i would have a clinic named after me. i have "dieted" practically my entire adult life, despite having pretty healthy habits as a teenager. did you know i never drank soda, let alone alcohol, or even ate chocolate as a kid!? we rarely had fast food growing up and for whatever reason i never really liked cakes or pastries or candy all that much. college opened up a pandora's box of all kinds of things and nowadays i have cravings for things i never even ate growing up.
i have gone up and down in weight so much the last 10 years i have clothes ranging from size 4 to 12. i can't ever get rid of any of them because i can't stay one size for more than a year. once i get down to a size i like, i get lax, in both diet and exercise and have to start the whole thing again once i start running out of clothes. and i'm embarrassed to say the last round of weight loss stemmed from me starting running as a way to get over my crappy ex boyfriend. about a year ago, i started gaining it back slowly.
i am now at my heaviest. shockingly, i am also at my happiest. which has more to do with personal growth and the fact that i am surrounded by my family and have the best boyfriend ever in the entire world. but being happy is not a good motivator for me to change how i look, even when the only thing i am unhappy with is my weight and how i look. i can tell you right now, if sg were to up and leave me suddenly, i would be on the treadmill day and night nonstop until i had whipped myself into the kind of shape he would regret ever leaving.
why is that?!
why can't i motivate myself with the same vigor in times of happiness? why do i covet other people's fit bodies, yet can't consistently find the motivation to do the same work they do? and after all i've learned why do i even bother comparing myself to others when i know it's not worth it? when will i ever find a happy medium between fit, healthy, and normal?
i have gone up and down in weight so much the last 10 years i have clothes ranging from size 4 to 12. i can't ever get rid of any of them because i can't stay one size for more than a year. once i get down to a size i like, i get lax, in both diet and exercise and have to start the whole thing again once i start running out of clothes. and i'm embarrassed to say the last round of weight loss stemmed from me starting running as a way to get over my crappy ex boyfriend. about a year ago, i started gaining it back slowly.
i am now at my heaviest. shockingly, i am also at my happiest. which has more to do with personal growth and the fact that i am surrounded by my family and have the best boyfriend ever in the entire world. but being happy is not a good motivator for me to change how i look, even when the only thing i am unhappy with is my weight and how i look. i can tell you right now, if sg were to up and leave me suddenly, i would be on the treadmill day and night nonstop until i had whipped myself into the kind of shape he would regret ever leaving.
why is that?!
why can't i motivate myself with the same vigor in times of happiness? why do i covet other people's fit bodies, yet can't consistently find the motivation to do the same work they do? and after all i've learned why do i even bother comparing myself to others when i know it's not worth it? when will i ever find a happy medium between fit, healthy, and normal?
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
lara croft? pshaw!
when patrick called to tell me how his workout went today he led off with this:
but i soldiered on. and of course ended up beating his time, so there! the warmup: run 430 m, 43 squats, 43 situps, 43 pushups, run 430 m. the WARM. UP. i got to halve the squats, situps and pushups part because it was only my second day and i had other work to do.
which was to do as many sets of 7 squat thrusters and 7 pushups in 7 minutes. i eked out 7 full sets and 1 squat thruster in 7 minutes and finished a total of 8 sets in 7:30. my trainer said at the end of my 7th set i was at 6:30 so he thinks i totally could have eked out a whole other set under the 7 minutes, but my mind had stopped after the end of he 7th set. i wish i would have known! it goes to show how much it really is a matter of mind over matter. and not that we're keeping score or anything, patrick did 5 and three quarters sets. ;P
we also joined in time to sign up for their biggest loser challenge. i figure as the newest newbies we have the most fitness to gain and weight to lose. the winner wins $100 and a free month. this may just be the thing to get my eating in check.
p.s. "lara croft" was a total butter face.
the head trainer's wife? she looks just like lara croft! you're much prettier, hon, but she's like a pint sized lara croft!well f*ck! i may as well dive into bed with a plate of cookies and beer and call it a night. and NOT invite patrick.
but i soldiered on. and of course ended up beating his time, so there! the warmup: run 430 m, 43 squats, 43 situps, 43 pushups, run 430 m. the WARM. UP. i got to halve the squats, situps and pushups part because it was only my second day and i had other work to do.
which was to do as many sets of 7 squat thrusters and 7 pushups in 7 minutes. i eked out 7 full sets and 1 squat thruster in 7 minutes and finished a total of 8 sets in 7:30. my trainer said at the end of my 7th set i was at 6:30 so he thinks i totally could have eked out a whole other set under the 7 minutes, but my mind had stopped after the end of he 7th set. i wish i would have known! it goes to show how much it really is a matter of mind over matter. and not that we're keeping score or anything, patrick did 5 and three quarters sets. ;P
we also joined in time to sign up for their biggest loser challenge. i figure as the newest newbies we have the most fitness to gain and weight to lose. the winner wins $100 and a free month. this may just be the thing to get my eating in check.
p.s. "lara croft" was a total butter face.
i knew this would happen
yesterday, i decided to take a rest day because i was pretty sore. in the back of my mind i knew it would suck more today.
and, of course, it does.
and i'm at the time of the month where mentally, i can barely hang on. so yeah, it should be good times tonight at crossfit.
but i'm treating myself to a beer afterwards. i don't care what anyone says.
and, of course, it does.
and i'm at the time of the month where mentally, i can barely hang on. so yeah, it should be good times tonight at crossfit.
but i'm treating myself to a beer afterwards. i don't care what anyone says.
Monday, May 11, 2009
8:37
that's how long it took me to finish workout 1 of crossfit. 500 m rowing, 40 squats, 30 sit ups, 20 pushups and 10 pullups.
PULL. UPS.
i've entered a crazy upside down world where i actually do pull ups.
sg hung in there and finished, but not before he paid respects to the puke bin while everyone cheered him on. he's famous already! poor guy has his work cut out for him. but i think this is a good environment for him to grow. he can go with me. he can go without me. either way he has lots of guidance and support.
PULL. UPS.
i've entered a crazy upside down world where i actually do pull ups.
sg hung in there and finished, but not before he paid respects to the puke bin while everyone cheered him on. he's famous already! poor guy has his work cut out for him. but i think this is a good environment for him to grow. he can go with me. he can go without me. either way he has lots of guidance and support.
Sunday, May 10, 2009
taking a step back
discussions aren't going well on the wedding talk front. there's a whole lot more to the issue that i'm too tired to talk about. especially when i think i've come to the conclusion that this means we're not ready to get married yet. which i'm fine with. i know we had a timeline in mind, but there's no sense in rushing things when i think all signs point to slowing down. i waited 30 years to finally meet him, i think we can wait to get married while we focus on you know, being a couple.
and the first order of business is for us to be out of my parents' house and self-sufficient. i think being unemployed has taken a toll on patrick and on us. his last job at williams-sonoma was the first job he has ever felt proud about. since he graduated college he has suffered and stumbled through a variety of bad jobs and unemployment. leaving alabama three years ago was the best thing he ever did for himself or his career, but now he has to start all over again.
now is not the time to think about a wedding.
and well, to be honest, i have some reservations. i have doubts on how well he can handle adversity. will he rise to the occasion and do whatever is necessary or will he shrink and shrivel and hide? without going into too much detail, it's hard for me to tell.
i don't think he's ever really been challenged. and in the past when faced with stress or adversity, he resorts to escapism (ie: video games) because it gives him some sense of control. he never really did well in school and isn't particularly ambitious. for months he felt stressed about losing his job and i implored him to look for other work while he had a job. but it wasn't until he was laid off and forced to look for work that he did.
a much older friend of mine has said to me that she thinks i do too much for him. for all intents and purposes, i was his headhunter, contacting everyone i knew about leads, scouring the internet for jobs and information. i've become his trainer. his nutritionist. and practically his sole social outlet, especially now that he's not working.
and it has come to a point where it's just too much. these are things i think an adult should handle for themselves. being supportive doesn't mean doing it for him.
when he is faced with an obstacle, i've seen him get upset, frustrated and want to give up. he hates when he's not in control and he just has no desire to be out of his comfort zone. i don't think he has the humility to accept not knowing how to do everything. i don't think he has the coping skills to deal with it. to have hope, or positivity, or come up with a different solution. i think he lets adversity beat him down. i don't think he's learned to be resillient.
that being said, i think this capitol police job and the training required to get it, is exactly what he needs to boost his confidence and give him a new set of skills, professionally and personally. i have to believe that there really is a fighter inside who can learn to grit through pain and discomfort and succeed at something. he sees this as his only chance. his academic record is a joke, his professional record, he feels is a joke, and he has no other idea what he wants to do with his life. and when he says stuff like that to me i do wonder, why would you want me to marry you?
i have a tendency of seeing the best in people, trusting in them too quickly and too fiercely. and while i know for certain that he loves me and that he will treat me affectionately and lovingly my entire life and make me laugh the entire time, i need more. i need to know he can stand up as a partner.
there are times i know he gets down on himself because he feels i'm smarter than him, faster, stronger, better. but i guess the girls he dated in the past i guess weren't as accomplished, not that i'm a rocket scientist all-star. and i always tell him, i wasn't born this way. i have had to learn a lot. and teach myself a lot. if i can do it, you can do it. the only difference between me and him is that i had a desire to learn more and i didn't let anything stop me until i got to where i wanted to go.
how he and we handle the next few months will decide a lot.
and the first order of business is for us to be out of my parents' house and self-sufficient. i think being unemployed has taken a toll on patrick and on us. his last job at williams-sonoma was the first job he has ever felt proud about. since he graduated college he has suffered and stumbled through a variety of bad jobs and unemployment. leaving alabama three years ago was the best thing he ever did for himself or his career, but now he has to start all over again.
now is not the time to think about a wedding.
and well, to be honest, i have some reservations. i have doubts on how well he can handle adversity. will he rise to the occasion and do whatever is necessary or will he shrink and shrivel and hide? without going into too much detail, it's hard for me to tell.
i don't think he's ever really been challenged. and in the past when faced with stress or adversity, he resorts to escapism (ie: video games) because it gives him some sense of control. he never really did well in school and isn't particularly ambitious. for months he felt stressed about losing his job and i implored him to look for other work while he had a job. but it wasn't until he was laid off and forced to look for work that he did.
a much older friend of mine has said to me that she thinks i do too much for him. for all intents and purposes, i was his headhunter, contacting everyone i knew about leads, scouring the internet for jobs and information. i've become his trainer. his nutritionist. and practically his sole social outlet, especially now that he's not working.
and it has come to a point where it's just too much. these are things i think an adult should handle for themselves. being supportive doesn't mean doing it for him.
when he is faced with an obstacle, i've seen him get upset, frustrated and want to give up. he hates when he's not in control and he just has no desire to be out of his comfort zone. i don't think he has the humility to accept not knowing how to do everything. i don't think he has the coping skills to deal with it. to have hope, or positivity, or come up with a different solution. i think he lets adversity beat him down. i don't think he's learned to be resillient.
that being said, i think this capitol police job and the training required to get it, is exactly what he needs to boost his confidence and give him a new set of skills, professionally and personally. i have to believe that there really is a fighter inside who can learn to grit through pain and discomfort and succeed at something. he sees this as his only chance. his academic record is a joke, his professional record, he feels is a joke, and he has no other idea what he wants to do with his life. and when he says stuff like that to me i do wonder, why would you want me to marry you?
i have a tendency of seeing the best in people, trusting in them too quickly and too fiercely. and while i know for certain that he loves me and that he will treat me affectionately and lovingly my entire life and make me laugh the entire time, i need more. i need to know he can stand up as a partner.
there are times i know he gets down on himself because he feels i'm smarter than him, faster, stronger, better. but i guess the girls he dated in the past i guess weren't as accomplished, not that i'm a rocket scientist all-star. and i always tell him, i wasn't born this way. i have had to learn a lot. and teach myself a lot. if i can do it, you can do it. the only difference between me and him is that i had a desire to learn more and i didn't let anything stop me until i got to where i wanted to go.
how he and we handle the next few months will decide a lot.
Friday, May 08, 2009
wedding plans
ok before i go further, we are not yet engaged. trust me i would have alerted ya'll like seconds after it happened. but we're close and while he has not told me when he's gonna pop the question, we do have an idea of when and where we'd like to get married. and since that date will roll around in about a year, i told him we need to start planning anyhow.
so...the deets: summerish 2010, somewhere tropical, probably on a carribbean island at an all inclusive resort. we've set a budget of $20,000 since we'll be paying for this ourselves.
what we can't agree on is the number of people we will invite.
the core, bare bones is at 20. my parents and his. my 2 brothers and 2 sisters in law and nephew. my maid of honor and her mom. my matron of honor and her husband. his best friend. another of his close friends and his wife, her mom, and their daughter.
smallest wedding, ever right? but we thought, we'll have two receptions in the states, one in california and one in alabama to invite all the people who don't come to the real deal. sounds reasonable and i guess i can live with this but...
i would love to have my cousins there. and my aunts and uncles. and i KNOW i will get shit form them if they aren't invited. and i KNOW they'll even offer to pay their share to make it. and for me, it's hard to argue for them not to be invited. hell, i want them there!
but. patrick doesn't feel it's fair. his extended family (who he doesn't even see but once a year) can't afford to come and/or is physically incapable of making the trip. so if they can't come, i guess he feels my extra peeps can't come either. even if it isn't going to cost us any more money.
i find this absolutely ridiculous. and i feel like just because life has "punished" him, he feels i need to be equally "punished" as well. i don't understand how in this instance the more the merrier isn't a good thing. he's an only child. who grew up on the other side of alabama as the rest of his family. so he doesn't get that my cousins feel like brothers and sisters to me because we all grew up together. it pains me just as much to NOT invite them as it pains him to know even if we did invite the rest of his family they couldn't come for whatever reason.
the alternative is to have the wedding in alabama (BARF!) where everyone can be invited. which even then, i couldn't invite everyone because my family far outnumbers his and i know for a FACT that he'll be up in arms about my side being bigger. but i can't help it! we're catholic! we're filipino! we make big families! and even then, paying for a wedding of that size is not possible.
i guess in the end, we are going to have to stick to our original plan of just 20 people. even though i think it is ridiulous to exclude people who are willing to pay their own way to attend. am i totally off the mark in thinking this?
so...the deets: summerish 2010, somewhere tropical, probably on a carribbean island at an all inclusive resort. we've set a budget of $20,000 since we'll be paying for this ourselves.
what we can't agree on is the number of people we will invite.
the core, bare bones is at 20. my parents and his. my 2 brothers and 2 sisters in law and nephew. my maid of honor and her mom. my matron of honor and her husband. his best friend. another of his close friends and his wife, her mom, and their daughter.
smallest wedding, ever right? but we thought, we'll have two receptions in the states, one in california and one in alabama to invite all the people who don't come to the real deal. sounds reasonable and i guess i can live with this but...
i would love to have my cousins there. and my aunts and uncles. and i KNOW i will get shit form them if they aren't invited. and i KNOW they'll even offer to pay their share to make it. and for me, it's hard to argue for them not to be invited. hell, i want them there!
but. patrick doesn't feel it's fair. his extended family (who he doesn't even see but once a year) can't afford to come and/or is physically incapable of making the trip. so if they can't come, i guess he feels my extra peeps can't come either. even if it isn't going to cost us any more money.
i find this absolutely ridiculous. and i feel like just because life has "punished" him, he feels i need to be equally "punished" as well. i don't understand how in this instance the more the merrier isn't a good thing. he's an only child. who grew up on the other side of alabama as the rest of his family. so he doesn't get that my cousins feel like brothers and sisters to me because we all grew up together. it pains me just as much to NOT invite them as it pains him to know even if we did invite the rest of his family they couldn't come for whatever reason.
the alternative is to have the wedding in alabama (BARF!) where everyone can be invited. which even then, i couldn't invite everyone because my family far outnumbers his and i know for a FACT that he'll be up in arms about my side being bigger. but i can't help it! we're catholic! we're filipino! we make big families! and even then, paying for a wedding of that size is not possible.
i guess in the end, we are going to have to stick to our original plan of just 20 people. even though i think it is ridiulous to exclude people who are willing to pay their own way to attend. am i totally off the mark in thinking this?
Friday, May 01, 2009
we've only just begun
so ever since my current job cut back on my hours months and months and months ago, i've been looking for a part-time gig to supplement my income. i finally got one that required no commute and would give me the hours i wanted, but wouldn't you know it, it's been picking up at the office. i've worked more hours this week than i have in over 9 months. funny how that happens, eh? but i'm not one to turn down money, especially since i've had to pare down for the majority of the year. it will be nice to finally start making bigger payments to the credit card companies again. i'll only be waiting tables twice a week and my first shift was tonight and man oh man am i getting too old for this. we did our speed workout this morning since last night we were busy and tomorrow morning we have our long run. and i get to work another shift.
i see many foot massages in my future.
i'm also gearing up to take another summer class. i was thinking of taking 2 then i remembered, oh yeah i'm running a marathon in the fall. overnight my leisurely 32 hour work week lifestyle has ramped up to a 50 hour work with with school and many miles of training per week.
and you know what? it feels good. i would much rather be too busy being productive than have so much free time that i feel lazy. the achiness in my feet feels good. and having numerous golas to focus on feels even better.
as for our speed workout today, we nixed driving all the way to the track since we only had an hour to get everything in. i plotted out a quarter mile stretch of road in the neighborhod and we ran and walked that back and forth. my 400s went like this: 2:23, 2:08, 2:10. getting faster overall, yes. but not negative splits. for whatever reason, running a straightaway 400 was easier than running a loop. and i could feel that i wasn't running my hardest, so next time i'll have to push more. and yes, i totally beat my boyfriend. i feel bad bc i know it messes with his mind. but this will probably be the only time i am ever faster than him, so i'm gonna enjoy it.
we did our pushups and situps too. and honestly, i did what was asked of me and a little more. and i only stopped because i was bored and not tired. well and i was crunched for time, but. i need a more effective and challengin way to get my core work done.
oh and more good news! i'm down 4.4 pounds for a total of 6 pounds from my heaviest. the weight loss has been slow, but steady. and while i'm definitely making concerted efforts to make every meal healthier, i haven't felt too much deprivation or angst. mango orange banana vivannos with matcha from starbucks certainly help with that! :)
i see many foot massages in my future.
i'm also gearing up to take another summer class. i was thinking of taking 2 then i remembered, oh yeah i'm running a marathon in the fall. overnight my leisurely 32 hour work week lifestyle has ramped up to a 50 hour work with with school and many miles of training per week.
and you know what? it feels good. i would much rather be too busy being productive than have so much free time that i feel lazy. the achiness in my feet feels good. and having numerous golas to focus on feels even better.
as for our speed workout today, we nixed driving all the way to the track since we only had an hour to get everything in. i plotted out a quarter mile stretch of road in the neighborhod and we ran and walked that back and forth. my 400s went like this: 2:23, 2:08, 2:10. getting faster overall, yes. but not negative splits. for whatever reason, running a straightaway 400 was easier than running a loop. and i could feel that i wasn't running my hardest, so next time i'll have to push more. and yes, i totally beat my boyfriend. i feel bad bc i know it messes with his mind. but this will probably be the only time i am ever faster than him, so i'm gonna enjoy it.
we did our pushups and situps too. and honestly, i did what was asked of me and a little more. and i only stopped because i was bored and not tired. well and i was crunched for time, but. i need a more effective and challengin way to get my core work done.
oh and more good news! i'm down 4.4 pounds for a total of 6 pounds from my heaviest. the weight loss has been slow, but steady. and while i'm definitely making concerted efforts to make every meal healthier, i haven't felt too much deprivation or angst. mango orange banana vivannos with matcha from starbucks certainly help with that! :)
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