a new chapter

so, i'm kind of over the whole running blog thing.

it doesn't mean i want to abandon running or blogging altogether. i just haven't been in "training mode" for practically a year and have no compelling desire to be that hardcore about it anymore. at least for now. when i first started running, it was all i ever thought about. it was the new, great challenge and boy was i eager!

but now my life encompasses other things. this blog started as a place to talk about training and sprinkle in other things about my life and the base of my readers, as few as they were, were runners with their own hardcore running blogs. but i've written so little about it lately, and unless there is other interesting personal news from you bloggers, i'm just not as interested in reading about training. i feel like such a bad blogger friend.

i purposely made the name of my blog have nothing to do with my running so i could keep it open to write about whatever i wanted. i contemplated letting the blog die and starting a new one. but i rather like the name. and i like having everything in one place. but for whatever reason to move on, i feel the need to officially say, this is no longer a running blog.

god, i'm so angsty.

so anyway, i don't know what kind of blog it is now. and maybe it doesn't need to be anything. though it would help me focus and not feel so emo. for now let's call it a "newly thirty reformed pseudo party-girl adapts to couplehood while figuring out what she wants to be if she ever grows up" blog.

2009 could be a really big year, kids. a really big year...more on my goals, later...

christmas tags

neese tagged me back in october. shows you what a slacker i've been. and since my blog has been reduced to lists anyway, 6 random things about me (the christmas edition):

1. i miss living in a city where it snows.
   
2. i handmade gifts this year.
3. i've never sent christmas cards.
4. i'm hoping for something sparkly this christmas and feel like such a brat for it.
5. i bought fishnets to wear to church when sg told me i had to wear a dress and pantyhose.
6. i love the idea of mistletoe!

pass on the christmas spirit, peeps, because TAG! YOU'RE IT!

n-n-nerves

so i haven't slept well all week. and i've been feeling kinda crappy. which is sort of par for the course for most people this time of year. and considering i've been eating like a frat boy, it's no wonder my body hates me and wants to sleep all the time. but still, this recent sense of ickiness is off-putting and perplexing.

then i figured it out.

it's nerves!

9 days in the deep south with my future in-laws who i've never met but must make a killer impression on. yeah, it all makes sense now. i mean i knew i was a little nervous, but enough to give me physical symptoms?

normally i would kill for that much time off, but this does not feel like a vacation to me. it's not so much that i am dreading it. that's not the right word. i just anticipate that this will NOT be a walk in the park and would rather just divert the plane and end up in jamaica instead.

so i've decided i must change my line of thinking. stop thinking about the things i DO dread and think "damnit (which i'm not allowed to say once i'm below the mason dixon line)i'm sooo gonna rock this! his parents will fall madly in love with me and i will take the south by storm! hells yeah!"

so yeah, that's all i've got. that and a flask full of vodka for my purse :)

holy crap! a post!

so, i weighed myself after thanksgiving dinner and WHOA NELLY! i mean i knew i'd be high, but that high? shiza!

the kicker was later that weekend, i was hanging with the younger cousins, drinking, listening to music and catching up. it wasn't long before we were up and groovin' and dancin'. but crap. i couldn't keep up. i was winded. and soon fell victim to exhaustion.

this coming from a girl who could at one time dance all night long into the wee hours of the morning in high heels!

THAT was the straw that broke the camel's back. i REFUSE to be the old lady on the sidelines missing all the fun. boooooo!

so since monday i've been eating like a champ and finally finally got a good run in today. and i have felt more like myself than i have in weeks.

p.s. sg and i are celebrating our 5 month anniversary today!!! wheeeee! seriously, 5 months already?! and i meet the parents in 14 days!

more things that make me happy (31-115)

a continuation of my last post:

1. working on a hard crossword puzzle
2. finishing a knitting project in one day
3. the first snowfall of the season
4. waking up to a fun song when the clock radio goes off
5. showering by candlelight
6. big mugs of hot beverages
7. hershey's chocolate with almonds
   
8. that minty tingly shampoo they use at the salon
9. getting carded
10. holding hands with sg everywhere we go
    
11. NAPS!
12. hammocks
13. room service
    
14. lighting up the occasional cigar
15. a book that makes me laugh and cry
16. camping
17. not having to commute more than 3 miles to work
18. my powerbook
19. ice cold corona lites on a hot summer day
    
20. when someone else washes my car
21. watching football at a bar with animated fans
    
22. eating breakfast for dinner
23. the smell of fresh laundry
24. wearing anything with my alma mater's name on it
25. hearing "i love you"
26. coming up with a brilliant idea to solve a problem
27. a good clicky ball point pen in blue or black (they're really hard to find!)
28. penguins
29. boston terriers
30. learning from smart people
31. running into someone you haven't seen in awhile when you look FABULOUS
32. crossing timezones
    
33. eating with my hands
34. kissing
35. connecting instantly with new people
36. people watching
37. estate sales (i love pawing through people's old stuff)
38. seeing my name in print
39. the rear windshield wiper on my vw
40. new sharpie markers
41. hoodie sweatshirts
42. not having to shave my underarms because i am hairless!
43. finishing a race / run / workout
    
44. casinos - watching other people play, the sound of slot machines
45. compliments from strangers
46. white gummi bears
47. writing something i think is well written
48. filling up an entire journal
49. finding the answers i need on the internet
50. text messages
51. temporary tattoos
52. flickr.com and facebook.com (sad, i know)
53. enjoying the house after i've cleaned it
54. 3-legged races
55. the sound of church bells
56. fitting into my skinny jeans
57. all you can eat crab feasts
58. praying
59. my nose ring
60. good hair and boobs days
61. the rare times my purse and/or car is free of clutter
62. good warm crusty bread and cold hard pats of butter
    
63. halloween
64. board games (especially at bars)
    
65. outlet malls
    
66. nicknames
67. making homemade gifts
68. babies falling asleep on me
69. comments on my blog
70. dollar stores
71. making ramen without breaking up the noodles then having to slurp them all up unbroken.
72. oooh and adding an egg to it.
73. movie or tv show marathons
74. pop-up video on vh1. whatever happened to that!?
75. winning at scrabble and mini-golf
76. hitting balls at the batting cages
77. eating ice cream out of the container in bed
78. when my brothers or cousins confide in me
79. IMing at work
80. figuring out how to say what i mean
81. the smell of a target store when you walk in. it's so distinct and always mixed with popcorn from the cafe.
    
82. hula hoops!
83. floating around in an inner tube
    
84. the smell of post-it notes
    
85. happy endings

so i guess finding 100 wasn't too hard after all...i'm sure there are even more. which is a good sign! :)

happy friday everyone!

100 things that make me happy (part one)

i've been in a funk lately and my blog shows it. so i thought i'd cheer myself up and try to steer myself into a better direction by taking cues from this site i stumbled on looking for inspiration.

100 things that make me happy (1-30)

1. my nephew
2. buy-one-get-one free sales
3. babies
4. down comforters
5. driving fast
6. used book sales
7. the beach
8. guessing the puzzle before the contestants do on wheel of fortune
9. sunrises
10. lists
11. beautiful typography
12. taking pictures
13. iced yerba matte with soy milk and 2 splendas
14. foreign accents
15. caramel apples
16. cotton candy
17. getting non-spam email
18. perfectly organized stacks of anything colorful (towels, shirts, paper)
19. having my hair played with
    
20. spending time with my brothers
21. grocery shopping
22. airports
23. playing with makeup
24. piano music
    
25. finding unexpected presents for people
26. happy hour (duh!)
27. learning new things
28. red toe nail polish
29. old couples holding hands
30. cooking for sg

it's harder than it looks! more to come...

one day further from slackerville

holy crap my friends. i went running.

no really, i did. after weeks months of sloth, i actually went running. without dying! or wheezing even! turns out i still have some fight left in me! granted i did a 5 min run/1 min walk interval for about an hour. but still it's something people!

though with sights like this and the sounds of celia cruz pumping into my ears, it's hard not to coast along happily.

and have i mentioned that sg agreed to do a 5k with me before the end of the year? i don't know if he really knows what he's gotten himself into, but i hope he's serious.

YES! WE CAN!

we are witnessing history, my friends.

i am weeping with joy. i am overcome with pride.

i finally believe there are good things to come.

i have hope.

dawn of a new beginning

i'm sure i speak for a lot of americans when i say, i can't wait 'til election day.

i'm sick of all this waiting. the fear, the apprehension, the tension on everyone's minds and hearts. i feel like everyone is in a holding pattern waiting to see what will happen. and finally on tuesday, when our new president is elected we can finally move forward again. but regardless of who gets elected, i'll be glad that at the very least we will no longer just be idling.

because the stress of everything, the state of our economy especially, is killing me. it's killing all of us. i hope that no matter what happens after nov. 4 that we'll be able to rally toward some positive change.

totally worth it

all week i've been a saint when it comes to my diet. and i've been feeling fabulous. heaps of fruits and vegetables. helps that we just visited apple hill and have bushels of my favorite fuji apples to eat. and that persimmons are finally in season again. i haven't yet started running, but i've been walking and walking to my hearts content. i've even been logging in all my meals and snacks in my google calendar (such a handy thing) i was on a roll.

then, came saturday. namely brunch.

sg wanted to return to ella's where we went to a few weeks ago where we had the most magnificent chicken benedict, made with homemade applewood chicken sausage and dill hollandaise. but alas, they weren't serving it this week. so i suggested we try somewhere new: brenda's.

where in one fell swoop erased all my good work from the past week:

1. watermelon sweet tea (!)
2. beignets (seriously, you're effed up in the head to skip these)
3. creole gumbo
   
4. fried catfish eggs benedict on a buttery biscuit
   
5. creamy cheesy grits

this was all the real deal authentic stuff. stuff i haven't had since visitn nawlins! i was in heaven. and honestly really, didn't regret it. how often do you have an authentic french creole cook making you breakfast?

although, it definitely means running is on the docket tomorrow. especially since i forgot to mention i had crabcake eggs benedict last weekend with my brothers.

life is no "sex and the city"

i'm feeling restless...

i'm in the mood to shop. or drink. or oddly, smoke cigars. i'm in the mood to galavant around town in high heel boots and stop traffic.

what is up?



(instead i'm sitting on my floor in boxers and a tank top watching juno for the 100th time while i swap out my summer clothes for winter clothes. )

in the home stretch

is anyone else in disbelief that it is the END OF OCTOBER!??!??! i can't believe we are in the last quarter of the year. the second half of this year has gone so unexpectedly that my 2008 new years resolutions sound utterly ridiculous! it's crazy to me how much my priorities have shifted. so even though my resolutions have been a bust, i still have some things to take care before the end of the year:

1. the only thing i want out of 2008 is a new job. please, oh please. i sent out a few more resumes last week and am hoping for some good news when i follow up this week. there's one in particular that i would give all the beautiful luscious hairs on my head for. so seriously, people, send me some good vibes. i'd love to be doing work i'm proud of again. i'd love to get out of my childhood home. i am so sick of being in limbo.
   
   
   
2. sg and i leave for our alabama christmas in a little less than 9 weeks. yeah, it's meet the parents time. pretty scary, huh? and while i've visited houston and new orleans, i don't think those have adequately prepared me for the deep south. all i know is that i have to start saying sir and ma'am and and a whole bunch of other ladylike things i'm not used to saying. restraint and proper decorum aren't usually in my bag of tricks, so i think i might drive myself crazy having to censor everything i would normally say and dial it down. and while he says that me being filipina won't be a problem, i can't help but expect some reaction.
   
   
   
3. i'd rather not meet his parents at my current frat boy weight. this should probably be the least of my concerns, but for whatever reason, it matters to me. so i've devised a running schedule training me for a faux 5 mile race on the day we fly out. nothing too ambitious, but it's something. besides sg has decided it's probably best that he lose some poundage too. and well, i can't let him lose all the weight. so even though he doesn't know it, we're competing ;)

comfort zone

i think anne hit the nail on the head:

Maybe you're sensing a new stage in the relationship where the momentum has either stopped or accelerated and the pace puts you out of your comfort zone.

my sense of self has definitely been challenged.

adding another person to your life means shuffling your priorities and suddenly other people get bumped back. i don't see my nephew and my brothers as often as i used to. and i'm never home on the weekends anymore with my parents. which i guess in the grand scheme of things is good. i finally have a life outside of my family again. it just takes some getting used to. i'm used to being an aunt, a sister, a daughter who could devote all her free time to her family. it's ok that my life doesn't revolve around them so much. it's in fact, many times, welcome.

sg and i have spent a good 3 months being dizzily in love, eager and panting to spend every moment possible together. i've waited for that feeling for a long, long time. and have thoroughly enjoyed the thrill ride. but now it's time to get back down to earth and learn to keep that fire going in our normal, everyday, functioning lives. it's an adjustment. like being on vacation for the summer and having to adjust being back at work.

adding another person to your life means shuffling your priorities to accomodate new ones. his and ours. i was going full steam ahead with plans of my own, but when you want to make 2 lives into 1, things get shuffled around. at first my school and job search reached from sacramento to san francisco. when i met sg, it headed more towards san francisco. but he was open to sacramento, maybe. now things at his job are getting more unbearable and it looks like we might be headed more towards to east bay if another job lead of his pans out. it was so frustrating and disconcerting looking for jobs within a 100 mile radius, especially since mine might be the lower paying one. now that we've narrowed it down in geography somewhat, i can focus.

on a related note, i've decided to put off grad school. sg is very uncomfortable with going into more debt for it. hopefully, i can find something that pays me what i'm worth and can start making big dents in my current debt and towards our future. i'm instead going to focus on branching out into web design and freelancing. which is honestly more of what i want to do anyway. i had given up on a career in design because i thought marketing would be more lucrative, and it is. there are 10 times more jobs for marketing with far better pay. but design is what i truly love. and with sg's help i actually get the chance to pursue it.

we've brought up the topic of kids and daycare but it only stresses us out more. the race to get settled career-wise and other wise before the alarm on my biological clock goes off will be the hardest race yet. my mom was a stay at home mom til i was 12. i can't imagine any other way to raise kids. but i refuse to stay out of the workforce for too long. i must remain employable for tons of reasons besides my need for independence and identity. it's an issue we'll face when the time comes, but would welcome any comments or advice on it.

as far as my last post about us being too different. after i wrote it, i realized i was looking at it the wrong way. i've since decided to look at our differences as a way for us to learn new things. and there's nothing i love more than learning new things. the fact of the matter is our differences in personality make us a very good team. we balance each other out in so many ways. and everyday we're learning how to get along even better. and because of this, i can live with our differences in interests. plus once we get settled in a community and start making friends, a lot of my need for companionship for the things i like to do will be taken care of.

and speaking of my interests, i miss running. i miss blogging. i went for a long walk today to take a break from job hunting and it felt ridiculously good. so while i don't have the time or mental energy to train for anything big, i can still make exercise a priority. i mean, i know i should have anyway, but in case you haven't noticed i'm sort of an all-or-nothing kind of girl in this regard. plus, hello, i've been galavanting all over northern california with a boy. so it's not like my heart wasn't racing :)

it's all an adjustment. and i think finally i'm on the better side of the hurdle.

p.s. i went to the new kids on the block concert this weekend. they seriously kicked ass. jordan knight is still ridiculously hot. i squealed like a little girl again. honestly, i knew it would be fun times, but it was way better than i expected.

p.p.s. i went to my first ever williams-sonoma sample sale this weekend. oh man it kicked ass. we walked away with 4 pieces of furniture, a huge mirror bigger than me, cookware, cookbooks, picture frames and other home decor items all for about $1000. did i mention we got 4 pieces of furniture!?

p.p.p.s. i missed out on my high school reunion this weekend but have been reunited with my best friend from high school. it's so good to have a close girlfriend around again.

doubts

i know i've proclaimed my everlasting love for sg from the hilltops and on this blog, so it feels awkward to admit that i've been having doubts. it's a diffuclt thing to write about because on the one hand i do know with great certainty that i do love him. that i was born to love him. on the other hand, there are days i wonder whether we are even compatible. and while i know it's perfectly normal (and maybe healthy) to be in love one day and want to wring each others neck the next, i still wonder whether these doubts mean something more.

i do know that these doubts feel different from red flags. i've felt those before and ignored them. this feels different.

in so many ways, sg is more than i ever wanted in a man. honest. trustworthy. family oriented. funny. romantic. gentlemanly. articulate. loyal. loving. generous.

but in other ways, i just don't know. we have absolutely NO common interests. he's a quiet sci-fi, fantasy, history geeky only child from the deep south. i'm a gregarious, wanna-be athlete from the big city cracked out on pop-culture and design. i'd always hoped my spouse would be my #1 activity buddy. as it turns out, he doesn't ever want to run with me. (though he has said he hopes to be my #1 race supporter) he's into hiking, but i had to walk him through what "dri-fit" and "wicking" meant when we had to outfit him in gear.

and don't even get me started on food. culinarily, he hasn't stepped foot off american soil and is a veggie-phobe. his idea of cooking is making hamburger helper or pasta, and he doesn't even know what al dente means!

i'm an eternal optimist, he's a pessimist (or as he likes to say "realist"). often we're on the same page about an issue or subject, but it's not until we reach the end of a very tiring discussion that we realize we've come to the same place but via different routes..

he likes to think he's modern, but to me he's very traditional. when i had voiced that i wasn't changing my name when we got married and instead would add his name to mine, he said "i've never heard of anyone doing that before". WTF?

which leads to one of my greatest frustrations with him. he just seems less life-experienced than me. he only learned to do his laundry when he moved out of his parents' house to san francisco 2 years ago! he's told me he's spent a lot of time indoors, wrapped up in video games, saving his pennies for the woman of his dreams to share life's adventures with. meanwhile, i was off having those adventures. and i hate to admit that some of the things he gets excited about doing or thinks are new and exciting, are old hack for me. granted i've never done them with him, but there are a million and one other things on my life to do list that i'd like to get done. and sometimes it feels like i'm having to teach him which frustrates me. it shouldn't but it does.

which leads me to my next point. i'm not used to having to share my life. even though i was in a relationship for the majority of my 20s, dude wasn't around a lot. and my family was on the other side of the country. so i grew to be very independent. i'm resourceful. i don't need anyone to take care of me. and i've never had any other agenda than my own and have built my life around achieving my goals. this means i can be very ambitious, stubborn, and bossy, which i know grates on his southern genteel sensibilities, which i sometimes feel is pretention and undue snobbery. one of the hardest things i'm dealing with is the fact that presently, he makes more money than i do and foots the bill more often than not. i've never been in this position and i HATE not being an equal in this regard. i don't like feeling like i'm not contributing enough and i don't like feeling that he has the power because he has the money.

i think the biggest obstacle isn't our differences in food or background, but in my learning how to give up some of my independence to make me a we. giving up feeling like i'm right about how everything should be done (even though more often than not i am), giving up what i want to do all the time (which is hard!), giving up my free time to spend with him, changing my idea of the future because it now includes another person's goals and needs. for someone who yearned for a mate, i'm having a hard time adjusting to it in real life. i've just gone for so long on my own, had resolved that i would be alone, i had programmed myself to be tough and uncompromising. isn't that the single, independent woman anthem?

so how the heck can i feel like i've remained true to myself yet be in a successful, nurturing, happy relationship?

4 interviews

1. thursday: left feeling energized, renewed, and inspired. while he didn't have a job for me, i did make a great connection with a very talented freelancer. not only will he will be a very helpful resource, it was wonderful talking to another creative person. he shares studio space with a photographer and their studio is one of many in a whole building of other artists. it felt like home.
2. friday: the manager i interviewed with was very nice and i felt like she genuinely wanted to help but couldn't offer me anything that paid what i wanted. boooo.
3. friday #2: was asked to come back into the office to "try things out". sounded promising, yet sketchy.
4. friday #2 followup on tuesday: it totally WAS sketchy. the office was ridiculously disorganized. it felt more like a sweatshop than a print shop. and it was more "every man for himself" than team oriented. BIG, HUGE NO!
5. wednesday: very promising interview with a great company. interviewed with the vp and pre-press manager. then sent to interview with another manager. was offered the job later that day. but refused because again they weren't offering the money i wanted, much less deserved.

so, it's back to the drawing board. i was a little disheartened, but now that a day has passed, i feel better. there are some other positions i've found that i'd like to apply for and am going to make another go at freelancing again. the economy sucks so hard right now, but i really am trying to remain positive. that's the only thing that will get us all through.

the upside and downside

the upside: i have three interviews in the next two days. one is more of an informational one, but could possibly lead to freelance work.

the downside: i have to go to renaissance faire. in costume. wearing a corset. and i'm not allowed to make fun of anyone (at least out loud), especially my boyfriend. at least there will be beer. oh, there will be beer. *sigh* the things i do for love.

i've had a post rolling around in my head for some time now. the topic could be quite juicy if i decide to share. i worry about posting it only because of my current state of mind and wonder whether i will regret it later, should someone find it. that, my friends, is why it's best to keep your blog from people you know.

in any case, i've got a full 4 days ahead of me. hope your weekend is full of happy training!

back in the day

this is sg when he was a senior in high school. and obviously, this is me. we would have made a totally hot couple, even then! except i got way better grades than he did and would have thought he was a slacker. and he might have thought i was too snobby and perky for my own good. so it's probably for the best we met when we did :)

i realize my blog has turned into a shrine to my current relationship. it's kind of embarrassing. i promise there will be real news soon.

actually, wait. i do have news. i've been scouring my address book and my facebook for help in the job search and so far have been having a little luck. no real hard leads yet, but it feels good to have so many other people watchin' my back. so, i say to you my beloved bloggers, if you have any contacts (or know of anyone who would) in the san francisco bay area in the field of marketing / communications / advertising / graphic design / production, please let me know.

the next phase

i canceled my gym membership.

in and of itself, not a big deal. but this one small action reveals a lot about the state of my life and where it's headed. it's no secret that training for "the next big race" has taken a back seat to other things lately. and i've finally accepted that. not that my endurance running days are over. just on hiatus.

training has become a lesser priority over :

1. making more money/finding a new job
   
2. getting into grad school
3. spending time with the family and the beau

and i'd still like to be able to eat and sleep and not be stressed out about everything.

in the meantime, while i look for a better paying job, i've cut expenses. and the gym membership was the first to go. it was hard. it was painful. i've been a member of some sort of gym for at least a decade. it's always so hard to quit because of how much it costs to join. and i tell myself i'll use it more. and i get scared that if i quit i'll just turn into a fat, lazy loser. when really, i have lots of resources at home to do exactly what i would do at the gym (besides swim).

again, in and of itself, quitting the gym is not a big deal. except that it's part of a larger "jenn gets financially responsible" plan...

the night before i quit the gym, i cut up my credit cards. in front of sg.

as sg and i got closer and talked more and more about marriage i was afraid that my past love affair with plastic would send him running. this is a man who has no debt. not even student loan debt. he paid for his past 2 vehicles in cash.

let's just say i'm glad he fell in love with me before knowing my deep, dark, debt secret. and the fact that it hasn't sent him running is even more proof to me that he is the one.

i spent my 20s having fun. living in the moment. wanting to experience everything i possibly could. i worked hard, don't get me wrong, because i've dug myself out of this hole before. but i always managed to find my way back, no matter how much money i was making, because something always came up that i didn't want to miss.

from what he tells me, sg has always been prudent. saving for what he really wanted. saving for that rainy day. saving up for the things he wanted to do when he met the woman of his dreams. he delayed his instant gratification for the future he wanted to build with his wife and his family. even though he didn't know who she was or when or whether it would happen.

the more we talked about building our life together, the more i realized that my past was holding us both back. and that i could no longer be so reckless. that the spoiled brat i had become would need to grow into a responsible brat.

and so it's begun. the next phase.

*************************************
if you're wondering about our future plans, nothing is set in store. he'd like to get married sooner rather than later, like before 2010, but considering all my money will be going into paying off my past, it makes saving for a wedding doubly difficult. that and the fact that i don't want my parents to have to pay a cent. they've done enough for me. i think his desires will be tempered by reality, but i can't say i'm a little disapointed if we would have to wait. though 2010 is a nice round number.

we've looked at rings. and before you get all up in arms, we were out shopping for other stuff, we walked by a jewelry store, it was his idea. he claims to know nothing about diamonds/rings, plus he wanted to know what i liked. and let me preface this by saying, i'm not a jewelry kind of girl. i have some special peices from my mom and my grandma, but from the most part, i wear only earrings and an ironman watch on a daily basis and consider costume jewelry more fun and dramatic (and less scary to lose) than real jewelry. but i still shouldn't have been surprised by the beauty and brilliance of a 2 karat princess cut solitaire on my finger. 1 karat would have been more than plenty, but looked so puny after the 2 karat. but not even my formerly spoiled brat self would expect an engagement ring that costs as much as a car.

we've discussed what we've envisioned as the perfect wedding. there are a number of options. eloping is still on the table, but not 100% ideal. we love our families too much to exclude them, but the sheer number of people and the east coast/west coast debate make running away to a tropical island all the more romantic. but i'm sure we'll come up with a happy compromise.

we've narrowed down the number of kids we'd like. no debate there. let's just hope our bodies are still up for when the time comes.

the biggest point of contention is where we'll settle down. california was never sg's intended home. and i moved back home to start planting roots. his family is in alabama, a place neither of us want to live. the jury's still out...

and that's about it. i know you all think we're crazy. we've only been dating for 2 months and 10 days. i know nothing is a guarantee. but sg is a perfect fit.

i need a set of big girl pants...

so much time lapses between my posts that i think why do i even bother? do people even really care any more? then i remember i started blogging for myself. so that answers that question. it frustrates me though, that there is so much going on in my life that training has taken a back seat. i gave myself the excuse of adopting a type b approach to training this summer. and while it's helped keep me "balanced" to enjoy things other than my running, i feel like part of my life is severely lacking because i'm not running as much as i'd like. not even so much that i'm not running as much as i think i should or need. but i WANT to be running more. what craziness!

my upcoming half marathon in october has started to weigh on me. will i be ready? at the beginning of the summer i would have said, yes, i will be ready. now? it's pretty dicey. could i get through it, yes. could i walk the majority of it? yes. but i don't want to. i want to run it. i want to run it better than i've run any other half marathon.

so what's my problem?

i never understood how much of a time commitment and mental commitment training was. because i had all the free time in the world as a single nine to fiver. added onto the fact that i lived on my own. now? i've still got a nine to five, but i have many more family responsibilities, don't have a whole home to myself, and maintain a relationship with a boyfriend who lives an hour away. and soon? i'm gonna have to worry about gmats and grad school apps. AND. i really need to start looking for another job.

where the HELL am i going to find time to train?

in the grand scheme of things, everything else comes first. but how do i reconcile my strong desire to train and race and the finite number of hours in a day? the finite amount of energy i can put into the various pieces of my life?

i know i'm not alone in this. hell, there are executive mothers who train for 2 marathons and ironmans at a time with twin infants at home. everyone has a lot on their plate. why can't i seem to juggle everything too?

i kind of wish i hadn't signed up for this half marathon. i think the reason it weighs heavily on my mind is that if i'm gonna do it, i want to do it well. and it irks me that there just doesn't seem like there's enough time. it irks me that i'm unwilling? unable? to step things up and just bite the bullet and stop whining and just get off my ass and train like a good girl.

grrrrr....

but at the same time, i just can't abandon everything else and eat, sleep, and breathe training. i HAVE to get a new job. i HAVE to take the gmats. i HAVE to apply to business school. i WANT to be there for my family. i WANT to be there for my boyfriend. i WANT to catch up with friends.

the theme of my past posts all definitely point to me not having enough time for myself. downtime, not worrying about anything. doing exactly what i want, when i want, how i want, for whatever reason i want. even as i write this i get this icky knot in my stomach. i just want to run away.

i know that soon enough, things will shake down. and i'll get a handle on things. and what falls to the wayside, falls to the wayside. it'll all be good. but for now, i'm angsty :)

in other news, sg and i are headed to vegas tomorrow to meet up with my college friends. you know, for the the girls' trip that turned into the couple's trip. i have loads more to say about that but i've already blogged your ear (eyes?) off. i also have a race report from last friday to write. wherein i took my nephew to his first race! :)

but that will all have to wait. everyone's on vacavy anyway. be safe kids and have fun!

i need to lay off the carbs

because they're messing with my mood.

besides i'll be in vegas in 4 days. carb bloat won't fit into my halter dresses.

*sigh*

i think my mood lately pretty much confirms that i need a vacation. a proper vacation, not just fun, action packed three day weekends. in fact, i think it's the combination of my work weeks AND weekends that have been making my life too hectic. that and the end of summer marking serious get down to business with business school time.

so while i don't have any vacation time coming soon, the first two weekends in september are open and i plan to keep it that way. no bf, no family, no friends. just me. and whatever the hell i want to do. which may just very well be nothing.

well, eating. i WILL be eating!

on turning 30

unrelated to the main part of this post, i am in a crappy mood. had a great yoga session, where i confirmed that i am way too tight, followed by a crappy run cut short. i feel like i need a vacation and my mom is working my last nerve. but instead of dwelling on the crap, i'm posting something i wrote (and kept in drafts) earlier in the week about the fabulousness that has been turning 30.

in my rare downtime, i've been catching up on my blog reading and came across this post at she just walks around with it. as you all know, i've been very contemplative about turning 30 and have been talking about it since i turned 29. i've been eager to just get over my 20s already and move on to the next phase of my life. not to say my 20s weren't totally kick ass. because they were. despite all the turmoil that i (and most people do in their 20s) went through, i wouldn't trade it in for anything. i lament that it has probably taken me longer to grow up than most people, but i guess that's just the price you pay for being a kid at heart. and i'd rather be a kid than an adult any day :)

i had some ideas planned for the big 3-0 post. you know, lists of stuff i want to see, accomplish etc. for now, i've settled on this:

10 things about my past:

1. i always loved school. so much so that i chose to go to summer school. i very much enjoyed being "one of the smart kids".
   
2. i was a little shy as a kid. but puberty helped. boobs are useful in gaining friends, i guess.
3. going to college out of state was one of the best decisions i ever made.
4. returning home was also one of the best decisions i ever made.
5. i have been in love 3 times.
6. i spent way too much money.
7. i was way type-a.
8. i've always been grateful for my creative abilities.
9. i spent a lot of time trying to be "perfect".
10. i was kind of a snob.

10 things about my present:

1. i am the happiest i've ever been.
2. i'm a runner. and very much enjoy that i am active and fit, especially after a very non-athletic childhood.
3. i wish i kept up with my piano lessons though.
4. i am praying to the gods for a great gmat score and acceptance into b-school.
5. i find i'm happier being "balanced" over being "perfect"
6. i eat way too much.
7. i have found the love of my life.
8. i have embraced being dubbed "cute" and hope it means i'll always look young for my age.
9. i appreciate my loved ones much, much more. and hopefully do a good job in showing it.
10. i am starting to be deafened by the sound of my biological clock. for awhile i thought i didn't have one.

10 things about my future:

1. i will get an mba.
2. i will run more marathons.
   
3. i will marry sg.
4. i will have our babies. and they will be damned cute. and smart. (and they will be runners)
   
5. i will travel to greece, latin america, australia, italy, spain, and most of the 50 states. and anywhere sg wants to go. i will follow him to the ends of the earth, if need be.
   
6. i will be a working mom and teach my daughters to be strong and independent.
7. i will learn to: sew, surf, letterpress, screenprint, and take better pictures.
   
8. i also want to take up: gardening, light carpentry, and triathloning. i'd also like to brush up on my spanish and use it more often.
   
9. i want to do more: dancing, cooking, swimming, yoga, crafting.
10. i will always laugh more than i will cry.
    

how did that happen?

a month ago, i ran my fastest 6 miler ever in 1:17. i weighed in at 165 after losing 6 pounds in 18 days. tonight i ran a 7 miler in 1:33:39. and was shocked to see the scale read 163.5.

huh?

i'm not getting faster, which is no surprise since i am running at most twice a week. but how the hell did i manage to lose weight this month? have you SEEN what i've been doing the last month? what i've EATEN this month? it's a shock to me that i was able to run 7 miles at all!

i guess there really is something to this whole cross training thing. because even though i've skipped too many runs, i've replaced them with hikes and long walks. and i have managed to get in at least one medium to long run every week. but still. by no means does it feel like i'm training, yet i somehow manage to eke by AND lose weight?

this type b approach really works, man.

a blog is a lot of work

i have become one of those women who is too busy for a lot of things now that she has a boyfriend. grrr. in all honesty though, class was taking up a fair bit of time. and now that it's finally not my birthday (i've been celebrating since the 1st) things should HOPEFULLY get getting back to normal. but i know it really won't til after our trip to vegas on labor day.

i got a short run in on friday before the boy came down for the weekend. i managed to get in some other active time playing with the nephew, beating sg in a major way in mini golf, hiking, sweating to dance dance revolution, breaking in the new wii fit, and kayaking. not a total loss for the weekend. i wanted to get a long run in after the boy left tonight, but i have eaten my weight in carbs and my body is busy digesting. and evacuating. not a good time to run.

i started a post about my birthday celebrations, but in all honesty, i'm tuckered out for a full recap. check out my flickr page for photos and i'll give you the short recap now:

sg planned a weekend of surprises for me the first weekend of august where we went to the monterey bay aquarium, which i haven't been to in years! he arranged for us to take a boat around the bay. i don't know if it was the wine or the actual waves that made him sick, but the poor thing was heaving his lunch over the side of the boat. i did get video of a baby dolphin that was swimming along side the boat for a good portion of the trip. that night we got back to his apartment, and as a pizza baked in the oven we looked up at the stars out of his window and found the big dipper. and as we traced the spoon, a shooting star darted across the sky! a total "this only happens in the movies" kind of moment. but that's been my life since meeting him.

on sunday, he arranged dinner at the melting pot, where there were roses waiting for me at our private booth in the section of the restaurant called "lover's lane". and he even arranged for us to get our picture taken. seriously, if someone were telling me this story, this is the part i would fake barf, but really, it was all very sweet.

on monday, he managed to get club level tickets to the giants game, so i feigned ill and spent the day as a local.

the next weekend, i had a camping trip planned with the whole fam down in santa cruz. all 30 of us, and poor patrick. even my 92 year old grandma and newborn nephew camped! he was a hit with the fam, with the exception of my grizzly overprotective mama bear, who doesn't want to admit that she likes him. we ate 'round the clock, taught the kids how to swim, hula hooped, rode bikes, tie dyed tshirts, rode a mechanical bull, played ping pong, made smores. it was all good family outdoor fun.

on my actual birthday, i drove me and my parents up to sacramento to have dinner with my brothers, sil, and monchichi. nothing too crazy, though the girls at hooters had me stand on a chair and do a funky chicken like dance while they sang. yes, we went to hooters for my birthday. try the fried pickles next time you go.

next weekend, the monchichi and i are running the race for the arts 10k in sacramento. we're also celebrating my baby brother's 25th. i'm taking him to the infineon raceway for his birthday.

so you can see, it's been a busy busy summer. one i wouldn't trade for the world. but i promise i'll be back to my regular bloggy (and running) self soon. the san jose half won't run itself!

this is what 30 looks like

happy. healthy. confident. loved.

go shorty! it's your birthday!

and this is my future.


and as it is my birthday, i thought it would be fitting to post my 6 word memoir:

big laughs. big heart. big appetite.

more thoughts on hitting the big 3-0 later...as well as updates on the very busy past 2 weeks!

slow

i'm finally home. in my own bed. whew. work today wasn't too bad. mainly because i know it's even extra shorter because i have friday off too!

i did get in a nice long run on monday while the boy worked. i set out from his apartment atop russian hill, made my way down to ghiradelli square ran through the marina and made it all the way to chrissy field and along baker beach before i had to stop and pee. i wished i had more time to do to the golden gate, but my parking spot expired in 2 hours and i needed to hightail it back home.

it took me a little under 45 minutes for this portion, but i gave myself more time on the return trip because it was going to be uphill. and i mean UPhill. hyde street between beach and lombard are killer. KILLER! i tried to run every other block. and the tourists were amazed. honestly, i was amazed. one day i will conquer these hills without my hamstrings begging for mercy. i've seen people do it. and i will one day be one of those people.

i ended up getting lost, as i usually do. and ended up circling round and round until i asked a meter maid for directions. i made it back to my car in just a little over 2 hours. and even though i have run only 1 other time last week, this run felt easy, breezy, and FANTASTIC. and even though my ipod crapped out 30 minutes into my run, the weather and sights were so gorgeous i felt like i could have run forever. it gives me hope that a half marathon really is doable again.

i have also named this post slow because flickr is taking forever to upload my photos from this weekend. i don't blame it though. at last count, after deleting the duds and doing some quick photoshopping, it's uploading 305 photos. whew!

so i'll wait til i have the proper visual aids to do the show and tell of this weekend. trust me, it's worth it. right now, i need to massage the heck outta my legs. and oh yeah, a stats test to study for... grrrr....

time flies

has it really been a week since i last posted? have i really been that busy. the answer is yes! fu*k yes.

this is the last week of class, and i'm poised to get an a. i found out that i only need a 65 on the last test to keep my a! WOOT! my friend kb was visiting on friday, and we had a full day hiking at muir woods, picnicing at stinson beach, and cooling off in the ocean. from there we met up with sg, 3 of my cousins and my aunt for a ridiculously fantastic steak dinner at harris' in nob hill.

from there, we made our way to asiasf only to be pulled over by a cop for supposedly making a right hand turn from the wrong lane. BOO! totally not the case, but sg got hit with a $400 ticket. for something totally ridiculously lame. needless to say, that was a huge buzzkill and we all went home right after.

the rest of the weekend has been spent with my sg, learning of my birthday surprise and continuing to be the happiest, luckiest girl on earth. in fact, the fun hasn't yet stopped. the boy got bad@ss tickets to the giant's game through work and we're capping off our 4 day weekend at the ballpark. so i called out today and am planning my day in the city while he is at work.

so updates of our weekend will most likely follow on tuesday or wednesday once i finally upload the 1000 pictures i've taken in the last 4 days. i do plan on running today, finally. i'm so glad class will be over this week and i can REALLY start training...and looking for a job in san francisco.......

hope you all had a tenth of the weekend i've had!

15 things about this weekend

surf's up!

it's busy-busy around here. so busy i will stop using complete sentences and post in bullets. this weekend i:

1. learned the monchichi knows the words to katy perry's song, "i kissed a girl". how hilarious is that?!
   
   
2. feasted on an assortment of grilled meats, courtesy of my brother the chef: rib eye, 2 kinds of pork chops, quartered chicken, leg of lamb. animals are tasty.
   
   
3. also dined on authentic southern fried chicken. (without sg)
   
   
4. bought a huge flat of strawberries and bricks of 2 kinds of chocolate: old dutch and french vanilla dark.
   
   
5. cringed when the monchichi sadly called out for me as i left to meet sg and his friends.
   
   
6. made friends with a new toddler.
   
   
7. drank beer and got beat by a calculus teacher at ping pong. i guess being asian doesn't automatically make you good at ping pong.
   
   
8. got up the next morning and ran for 45 minutes AND did my pushups.
   
   
9. and felt like a total show off.
   
   
10. met some cool new people.
    
    
11. participated in major pda in front of sg's friends.
    
    
12. ate 2 kinds of cake.
    
    
13. introduced sg to my brother, sil, cousin, mom, and dad.
    
    
14. survived the whole ordeal.
    
    
15. was pleasantly surprised at how it all went, actually.

as for my parents' reactions to sg, my mom says she hopes he can "tame" me, whatever the hell that means. last time i checked i wasn't a shrew.

this week holds tons more activity. i have a friend in from out of town and sg has planned an early birthday extravaganza weekend! and it's a SURPRISE! wheeeeeeeeee!

until then, i've got laundry, homework, and running to do. lots of running!

one day i will stop posting pictures of the two of us. today is not that day.

------------
in running news, i got an easy 2 miler in, followed by some lower body in the weight room.

weighing the options

things keeping me from running:

1. facebook
2. daydreaming (of the boy)
3. facebook
4. facebook

reasons i need to run

1. i ate two doughnuts last night with the excuse that i was going to run today.
2. i want to run a strong half mary, not just survive it.
3. i'd like to lose another 6 pounds before my vegas trip on labor day.

that's it...i'm logging off and running....peace out!

******UPDATE******
6 mile lr on the books. totally smooth sailing. so smooth i wasn't paying attention to mile markers and hit my split button too late on every mile. (14:18, 12:38, 13:06, 12:19, 14:55) i had tocut the 6 miler down to 5 after developing a hip twinge at 4.5 miles. i've felt this twinge before when training for santa cruz. and i was NOT going to push it. i walked the last half mile and stretched like a mo fo. tomorrow i had planned to get in an easy 5 miles, but i think i'll be in the pool, pulling for my life, and getting some yoga done tonight!

let's hope the monchichi doesn't have any strenuous exercise on the books, though!

some spontaneity

kids, i skipped school today. and i skipped my speed workout. i was missing the boy way too much and friday seemed too far off. confident that the 102 on my last test solidified my A in stats, i didn't feel too guilty as i breezed past the college on the way to the bay.

i was greeted with hugs. and kisses. and he smelled so good. it was exactly what i missed. exactly what i needed.

we headed to dinner at memphis minnie's to get our fill of what he considers the most authentic southern barbecue in the city. and while the sweet tea left much to be desired, the ribs were spot on.

from there we drove to the beach, not missing robin william's huge mansion overlooking china beach. we climbed up some rocks to find a little spot to watch the sun set. and then when the sun touched down on the horizon, we spotted a large school of dolphins splashing and swimming in the water. we soaked in the fresh air, watched the waves crash, and collected rocks in the sand to commemorate our third date.

i don't know what i ever did to get this lucky. but i honestly have been thanking my lucky stars every day. i never knew it could be this good. i never know i could be this happy.

too much fun for one

busy busy weekend here, kids. so busy i totally overslept this morning. but never fear, a post-work nap led to a great evening workout: easy 2 miler, some time in the weight room working on lower body, and day one of week one in the push ups challenge. my second initial test yielded 13 pushups, so averaged my first test of 10 with 13 and settled on the middle level. if i was hardcore i'd really push myself, but this is the summer of type b, remember? so my pushup sets went 7, 7, 5, 4, 7 for a total of 30! i was taking less than the 60 second break in between. but i'm sure as time progresses i'll need em!

as for the weekend, i spent the saturday afternoon with the fam in bodega bay. it was a great day for the beach. overcast, but warm and breezy. perfect for playing in the sand, getting dirty, and eating bbq! i am overjoyed that my nephew loves the beach. i was afraid he might be like his dad and be grossed out by sand and sea water. but nope, we chased waves, buried each other in sand, and raced up and down the beach chasing birds. i'll spare you the pictures of my brothers totally smoking me in a sprint down the beach. at least i've got them in the endurance department.

we're going to bodega bay!

ooh! the water is cold!

lots of pretty dogs to pet!

boys can hula hoop too!

carting the monchichi on my back counts as cross-training, right?

what scheme is he plotting next? (i need to photoshop that grill out of the picture if i'm ever going to get it printed)

organic brick oven french bread! and homemade scones! biscotti! sticky buns!

cute lily pond in occidental, ca

ack! BIRDS!

that night, i drove up to sf to have dinner with sg. and help him with grocery shopping. lucky for him i like that kind of stuff. plus, what better way to get to know someone than to see firsthand their food habits? it is very apparent that i will be in charge of nutrition in the relationship. but he seems very amenable to it. sg rewarded my help with his errands by taking me on a walk up to a park that overlooked the bay, spanning from bridge to bridge. we sat, drank our beer, talked, cuddled while the fog rolled in. san francisco couldn't be a more perfect place to fall in love.

the next morning, we went to aids walk sf. he was volunteering with ws. so i smiled and made polite talk with the coworkers and while he schmoozed i took off with my camera to take in the sights:

i was so tempted to steal these dogs! first order of business after getting my own place is getting a boston terrier!

children's playground, golden gate park

some of them told me it can take up to 3 hours for them to get all dolled up!

www.fatchancebellydance.com

sg at the grill. thankfully, god did not ignore my prayer about wanting my boy to have a great ass. ws puts out a phenomenal spread for its team of walkers. i had my fill of grilled portabellas, asparagus, and salmon.

the real san francisco treat

are you sick of us yet? i'm not.

after our philanthropic efforts we trekked home and napped before dinner. we rode the cable car downtown, sipped on soup, and waited with the masses to watch batman. but the wait was totally worth it!

then sadly, i had to make the trek home and another pefect weekend came to an end. next weeked should be interesting though. i'm meeting some of his friends. and he's meeting the 'rents!

summertime lsd

first long run of training and i made a dumb rookie mistake. i let my enthusiasm get the better of me. check out my splits: 12:21, 11:31, 12:41, 13:16, 14:30, 12:37 for a total time of 1:17 for a 6 miler. i tried to recapture my "speed" from thursday and got my ass handed to me instead. but it's all good, i finished. though i do attribute my slowness to not enough hydration, woman issues, and possibly not enough food yesterday. i didn't remember i was running my lsd today until dinner. and i ate light pretty all day.

which explains my new weight: 165! so that means i'm down 6 pounds in 18 days. not bad. not bad.

i was also rewarded at the end of my run when i looked up at the tv and saw the new kids' video playing! did i tell you i'm seeing them in concert in october! WOOT! my love for jordan knight still lives! here's a clip of their video. i'm off to bodega bay with the fam bam and i'm bringing my hula hoop!

it just keeps getting better

55:33.

that's how fast i ran my 5-miler this morning.

*blink* *blink*

you read that right. 55:33. um hello, that's like my fastest time EVER for a 5 miler. and i wasn't even trying. and i'm only in the zygote stage of training. holy shite.

the schedule called for a tempo run, but since i'm still in a run/walk phase, i stuck with intervals. i started off at a walk: 10:30 pace, then after awhile increased the walk to a 12:00 trot, then after awhile increased the running pace to 10:00, then finally took out the slow trot altogether and ran the last mile at a 10:00 pace, kicking it up to 7.2 mph to finish. WHEW!

it was altogether exhilirating. and empowering. getting this 5 miler under my belt, with energy to spare gives me hope that a half mary pr is in my future. it's also a lesson that pizza, rice, and goobers in moderate amounts makes me a faster runner.

i have also tinkered around the 100 pushups challenge site. i haven't read it in depth so i haven't yet officially started. i tried it out today and did 10. i probably had 2 more in me, but was afraid i'd smash my face into the floor if i tried. i think i'll try a solid attempt tonight or tomorrow.

party on, kids!

life. is. good.

first things first. i'm registered and paid to run the rock n roll half marathon in san jose october 5. WOOT! i am beyond excited. and beyond happy to be running again. i was worried that the runner in me had died over the last 6 months, but no. she was just carboloading...

i have a race in mind for me and the monchichi next month. it's the same race i broke my 5k pr. i'm not deluded enough to think i can get another pr at this race, but it will please me to no end to see my little nephew run across the finish line and receive his first medal. the little guy can run like a champ and it is my goal to train him to be my running partner.

today i did another run/walk, this time at a 1:2 interval, with my running pace increased to a 10:30 pace. felt very good. i got in 2.25 miles and called it a day. i have to start eating more carbs. i've cut way, way back, trying not to eat anything but fruits, veggies, beer, and the occasional chocolate treat, but it looks like i can start adding cereal back into my morning regimen. i did have a chocolate soy milk afterwards though. yum.

now onto the news you've all been waiting for. check out the cuteness that is me and sg:
seriously, don't you just want to eat us up with a spoon?!

i drove up saturday after spending the morning with the nephew and the first thing i got when i got out of my car was a kiss and a hug. the weak knees started then. he showed me his ridiculously immaculate apartment. i met his roommate who stashes scientology propaganda in the bathroom, then we headed out into the sunshine. from his apartment in russian hill, we trekked to coit tower then made our way to north beach for lunch al fresco. from there we made it to the wharf to take a boat 'round the bay, then walked along the marina where he showed me his office (williams sonoma headquarters). we walked up to pier 39 to have dinner before taking another long walk home.

i spent the night at my grandma's house and the next morning dished the dirt to my aunt and cousin. i met him in the morning for breakfast where we planned a day of shopping. we trekked to union square and he took me through the williams sonoma flagship store. it was absolutely adorable watching him geek out about housewares. and he got to watch me geek out about the entire third floor filled with beautiful gourmet goodies! we went to niketown, tried on jeans at old navy, attempted to get into the apple store, but decided to go eat instead. we walked to the ferry building for a late lunch and shared burgers and garlic fries. by then we were about beat but still had to walk back to the car in union square. we got home, napped, then he made me dinner before sending me on my way back home.

doesn't that all just sound like a dream? we held hands the entire time and walked around with giddy grins the entire time. we talked and talked and talked and laughed and laughed like we were the only 2 people on earth. we couldn't stop remarking at just how similar we were, stopping every so often to exclaim "ME TOO!" when one of us would bring up some random topic. there were moments during this weekend we just looked at each other and said, "where the hell have you been the last 30 years?!"

both of us revealed that we had been praying to find someone like each other. and i dare say sg is more than i ever could have hoped for. he is more than what i was too scared to hope for because i never thought it would be possible. and after the shock had worn off that this was indeed real, together we offered up a prayer of thanksgiving to the GOD we knew had orchestrated this from the beginning.

i know that this all sounds so sudden, so crazy, so far fetched. i KNOW! i could barely believe it myself in the beginning. but i think i knew from the first phone conversation with him that he was different. that i was in the for ride of my life with him.

this is it kids. he is it. life. is. good.

on strike

blogger is not letting me post pictures. and until it will let me post the cuteness that is me and sg, you'll have to wait on deets of our weekend.

and i'm telling you, it was fa-bu-lous.

xoxo

in less than 24 hours, i will be kissing this boy all over san francisco. go ahead, be a hater. i'll be too busy being weak in the knees.

and i know you were all DYING to know what he looks like!

did i mention he called me today just to hear my voice? because he missed me.

*sigh*

oh, the fun!

yesterday, while i was in the store to buy a tent for my upcoming 30th birthday camping extravaganza, i came across a rack of things shiny and bright. HULA HOOPS! that light up! holy crap why do i not have one?!

i yanked one off the shelf and tested it out. and boy did i work up a sweat. mainly from laughing at myself. i was pretty good with a hula hoop back in the day! i grabbed a smaller one for the nephew and proceeded to hula hoop my way around the store up to the check out.

and i've been practicing ever since. this thing rocks! if i keep this up, i'll have some awesome abs in no time!

on another note, i just got off the phone with the gent. seriously, it's absolutely ridiculous the grin he leaves on my face all day. i find i can't sleep after talking to him. dudes, you are in for a sickly sweet date update after this weekend. he asked if he could hold my hand! like hel-lo sweetest question ever! it's ridiculous, i tell ya. ri-diculous!

*sigh* is it saturday yet?

type b is a-ok

last night i got to the gym only to realize i didn't pack my shoes! argh! ah well, shit happens.

this morning i made up for it with a glorious 3 mile run. actually i should say run/walk. i never wanted to do a run/walk program, deeming it only for sissies, but it worked for my marathon, so i figure it'll work now. it'll help build me back up because a run/walk is much more enjoyable than a short run filled with cursing and wheezing. the 3 miles flew by. right now i'm on a 1:1 ratio and running at a good 11:00 clip during the running portions. i'm looking to increase the running ratio while maintaining that pace. who knows, maybe this will make me the faster runner i always wanted to be! for now, i'm a happy runner.

i'm changing plans to run the rnr san jose half marathon in october, with an eye on running CIM in december. i'll see how i feel, see how hectic life is at that point and decide if i can continue on for a marathon. i'm trying to be realistic, but i can't hide the fact that i am ITCHING to run another marathon. i would like to get another one under my belt before grad school starts when i know for sure i won't have time.

sg and i talked last night and we're hatching plans for a fun filled day in sf on saturday. the boy makes me giddy people. giddy. can it really be possible that everything is finally falling into place?

i'm scared to jinx it!

girls on the run

so hm training got off to a rip roaring start yesterday. NOT. i totally missed my workout. but i have my gym bag packed and am hitting the treadmill after class tonight.

in other running news, i just started work on a pro-bono freelance project for the sf chapter of girls on the run. on their website they describe themselves thusly:

Girls on the Run of the Bay Area is a life-changing, experiential learning program for girls ages 8 to 13. The programs combine training for a 5K or 1-mile community running event with healthy living education. Our curriculum-based programs instill self-esteem and strong values through health education, life skills development, mentoring relationships, and physical training.

We offer 10-week programs during the fall and spring seasons. Volunteer coaches engage the girls in games and running-based workouts that encourage emotional, social, psychological and physical development. The girls meet twice each week after school for a total of 20 one-hour sessions.

pretty cool, huh? i am working on some marketing materials for a campaign to culminate at an event at the bridge to bridge race in the fall. dean karnazes and his daughter are apparently very involved with the group, and he sits on their board! i'm super excited about working with them. i was hesitant to become a coach, but if i can marry my two passions, design and running, towards the cause of female empowerment and fitness, then that's even better!

girls on the run has chapters all through the u.s. if you're interested in getting involved. there are a million and one ways to contribute time, energy, or resources.

i have a good feeling about this

the title says it all. first date with southern gent went very well. but i knew that it would. i knew from our phone conversations that i'd really like him in person. it's hard for me to say exactly why, i just did. there's a whole bunch more going through my head right now but i don't think it's quite synthesized to a point where it would make sense on paper. i just have a good feeling about him. sorry for the lack of juicy details folks. but if things progress the way i would like them to, then we're all in for juicy stories later.

in other news, i bought my first 2 gmat prep books today. i'm scared shitless and excited all at the same time. i had a total geek out moment at work on thursday in our marketing meeting where i felt totally smart and inspired. so b-school felt all the more appealing to me then. i'm looking at 2 programs: sac state and sf state. for both programs, i need to take a core of fundmental business classes that i never took in undergrad, crap like accounting and finance. ugh. if i go full time it will take me a year. part time most likely a year and a half. then i can take the graduate level classes and i plan to do that full time to get it done in 2 years. so my next steps are studying for gmats, finding ways to fund my education, either through working for someone with education benefits or sucking it up and taking out loans. it's enough to make my head spin, but i think it will all fall into place.

also in other news, half marathon training begins tomorrow. i'm pretty stoaked about it. it feels good to be running again. i even weighed myself after my run on friday and i'm down 2 pounds! of course 4th of july weekend ruined al that i'm sure, but i'm back on the wagon and it feels good :)

hope y'all had a great holiday weekend. it's back to work tomorrow! boooooo!

kicking ass and taking names

before i was a runner, i was a kickboxer. and i was in the best shape of my life. it's the perfect workout cardiovascularly and you can shape some nice muscles and abs all without lifting a weight. this morning i took the best kickboxing class i've taken in like 8 years. this class will totally replace any speed workout, fill your quota of plyometrics, open up your hips, and make your glutes beg for mercy.

i now have a girl crush on rhoda, the turbo kickbox instructor at 24hour fitness. i love you. and your abs. and i worship at the altar of your sidekick!

should you judge a dude by his blog?

so. southern gent and i have been talking all week. the little girl in me has just about fallen in love with him, what with his oh-so cute accent and deep, deep voice. accents are my kryptonite. part of me knows these feelings of giddiness might come crashing down once i meet him in person on sunday. but for the meantime, it's fun to get swept up. he might very well be an ogre in real life, but for the time being i'm flirting on the phone with what sounds like a very intelligent, nerdy in a sexy way, dude who calls me beautiful every other word and makes me laugh. i know, i'm such a school girl.

but i'm not entirely hopeless. i, of course, googled him. when i googled his name, all i found was a review he and his friend wrote about some hotels they stayed at in japan and his corporate giving page for the AIDS walk coming up. normal enough stuff that says his story checks out.

then i googled his match user name. and came up with 2 blogs. one he wrote in college and another he wrote about 4 years ago. is it fair to judge someone based on what they wrote in their journal back in college? even 4 years ago? how would i feel if he somehow found my blog and read it?

there wasn't anything on there to send up red flags (except his admitting to a very large pron collection EW! which i have mixed feelings about) during these times he dated a lot. which i guess is normal for most people. i had a much different experience because i went to a college with nearly all gay men and i dated only the ex after college for 5 years. but it was interesting to read him fall in and out of love. mainly his blogs were a space to just vent and write, so a lot of it was pretty emo. which i guess is to be expected of one's journal.

i thought that by googling him i'd find out whether his story checks out or not. all signs point to not a pyscho killer, so that's good. but i think knowing too much has killed the mood, so to speak. do i let him know i've been reading up on him? how much of what i read should i let cloud my judgement about him? would i want someone to judge me in the same way?

my instincts tell me to just file all that data in the back of my mind and let him present himself the way he is today. heaven knows i grew up a ton in my late 20s. no one wants to be judged by who they were when they were 21-25. which i guess is indicative of why i never got married in my 20s.

so it's with a hopeful heart, an open mind, and a watchful eye that i go into our first meet on sunday. i'll keep y'all posted. have a safe and happy fourth! it's my own personal independence day and granny's 92nd birthday party. time to celebrate some girl power, don't you think?

mum's the word

i don't want to jinx it.