mermen and cholos

i did 40 laps in 47 minutes...which makes me wonder, did i miscount today or yesterday?

there's no way it took me 8 more minutes to do the same number of laps.

but then again, today i did a lot without the buoy or board. i'd alternate freestyle and breaststroke, and when i felt up to it did back to back freestyle. i threw in some pulling laps to help catch my breath. and a few butterfly laps to work the abs. i ended with the underwater exercises. i swear i have absolutely no lung capacity.

one thing that helped, and this is going to sound totally silly and ludicrous, but for some reason it helped if i hummed underwater while i blew air from my nose. kind of like doing a yoga "oooooohhhhmmm". it sounds totally stupid i know, but i don't know it made me feel less like i was drowning and more like i was swimming...like a dolphin maybe? who the hell knows.

i did become self conscious of this though when michael phelps' twin brother got in the lane next to me. he WAS a dolphin like those dudes in madonna's cherish video. remember them? but i was less self conscious around him than when the pool/spa/sauna/steam room area was filled with the latino mafia. at one point during my time in the pool, there were at least half a dozen dudes just chillin' in their wife beaters. some were actually in the spa or sauna, but a good number of them were just sittin' around. a few of them stood with their arms crossed. they didn't appear to be checking out the ladies, since there were none, except for me and a few elderly ladies. but they didn't look like they were gonna cause trouble either. again, who the hell knows.

39 in 39

that's 39 laps in roughly 39 minutes. i'm not breaking any records, but i am getting better. i'm doing more actual swimming than i am just kicking or just pulling. i feel so much more smooth in the water since i've employed the breathe less technique. and i'm not so out of breath by the end of the lap. and honestly, i could have gone longer than 39 minutes today. but there was a dude waiting for a lane and i had been there the longest so i felt compelled to give the guy some room.

i'm hoping to get to the pool twice tomorrow. but considering i keep sleeping through my alarm lately, i won't count my chickens...

one, two, three

i got a lot of random stuff today:

1. my swim lesson today totally rocked. the 30 minutes flew by. and the good news is judy said i was doing much better than last week. woot! we used the board less and introduced the pull buoy. two words: holy crap. but i loved it so much i ran out and bought my very own to use tomorrow. we also did more breaststroke laps since my kick is much improved. no more moving sideways! since this week's lesson was very arms intensive, i really hope i can move my arms tomorrow.

ooh ooh, and she also introduced me to underwater oxygen deprivation. doesn't that just sound like a recipe for death? she had me do 2 exercises. first she had me swim underwater for as long as i could. i got about halfway. then she showed me what we'll be working towards: a length and a half! judy is crazy. then she had me do a few laps taking as few breaths as possible, aiming for only 4. in my head i thought i would for sure drown. but to my surprise, i did it. and i felt like i got across faster and with more grace and ease than normal. she says by coming up for air less my stroke is interrupted less, so i'm much more fluid. judy is smart.

we also talked more about my goals. i told her about the duathlon i had in mind and she thought it would also be a good idea to do a shorter swim only race. again, judy is crazy. public displays of me in my bathing suit doesn't really traumatize me. unless you put me with real lean, mean swimming machines!

2. the icky, bruised half of my big toenail came off last night! i was examining it last night , running my finger along the ridge between the bruise and the new healthy nail and pop! one side just lifted. then i started pulling across...then it got to the nonbruised part and i just had to pull the whole damned thing off. and it was infinitely cooler than when the other toenail fell off. it looks so narsty! i hope the half that's left grows in nicely and not all ingrown. and you folks are lucky my camera is at MH's. though i'm seeing him tomorrow night, so there just might be some loverly pics manana.

3. speaking of manana and MH, tomorrow he and i are watching the sprirt of the marathon movie. it's not his first choice for entertainment, but he made me suffer through cloverfield. and there's no way i can ever get those 75 minutes of my life back. so he gets to watch me totally geek out over a marathon documentary.

22 laps

but only 4 of them without the aid of some sort of device, ie board or fins. my kicks were definitely much better today. but when having to stroke and kick at the same time, it pretty much turned to flailing.

i'm gonna try again tonight...

the crap end of single life

this is totally not running or fitness related. if that's ok with you, read on. if not, i've logged a swim and a spin workout...both sucked, but both got done ;) and now for the angst...

every year for the past 4 years my college friends and i have planned a girls' beach weekend. last year i made the trek 3k across the country to meet up with them. this year, we decided to do gbw in vegas! to celebrate us turning 30. and to include a friend from college who moved there when she decided to graduate a year early.

we've been emailing back and forth to pick a mutually convenient weekend, focusing on sometime in the fall over a federal holiday. then we get the email from cj:

"I am definitely coming out to Vegas this year. The questions are when and with whom? For me it will be whenever I can get a flight deal, so I need to start looking into flight info. The husband really wants to come to Vegas. He has never been, would like to see Las Vegas friend in her element and go with her to the Star Trek experience thing.

If we make it a family trip, I could still hang out with the girls. It just might be a girls day or night or something.

I am sorry to be so up in the air about things, but I figure I will start looking at flights and when I see one I want to book I will figure the rest out."

so much for girls' weekend. so much for caring about seeing your friends. sheesh. it went from OUR vacation to HER vacation without anyone's say. and if i want to see her and las vegas friend, i better hope her plans are convenient for me too. at which point, if they are, i only get half a day to see them...

i get that people's priorities change. i get that when people get married and have babies they're more family minded than adult-person minded. i get that budgets get tight and time is tight. but she's not the only one with time and financial limitations just because she is the working mom. i nixed a trip to disneyland with the brothers and nephew because i wanted to make this trip out to vegas to see my friends.

i've said it before and i'll say it again. being single doesn't suck because you're don't have a man. it sucks because your friends ditch the singletons. it's no fun having all this free time and extra cash with no one to play with. it is harder to find a 30 something single woman to have as a friend than it is to find a 30 something man to date. not to say 30 something moms or 30 something marrieds or 30 somethings with significant others don't make good friends. but every single chick needs a crew of single chicks. it's like law or something.

or maybe i just need the attitude of george clooney and others destined for lifelong singlehood. i guess to truly embrace the single attitude, i need to embrace being truly alone, without even the crew of girls.

and ps, me saying i'm single doesn't mean MH and i are off. MH and i just aren't serious...at least i'm not, even though he's slinging the L word around like it's the word "the". but that's another post entirely...

2008 monthly challenges

i got off to a slow start this year, but i think i've finally come around. in large part to my swimming lessons starting. it was a ruuuuude awakening to realize just how much i'd let myself go in the last 3 months! the good news is i'm used to rebuilding my fitness base. i'm just not so good at maintaining it. but i'm hoping that getting good at and enjoying 3 disciplines, instead of relying solely on my running, that i'll hone myself into a lean, mean athletic machine...and stay there!

so, in that vein, i've concocted a rough schedule of monthly challenges. i need some suggestions for april. and if you're wondering why i don't just do a triathlon already, it's because i don't have a bike, can't afford one this year, and am not entirely certain i even really enjoy biking in the outdoors. (it's the fear of falling and scraping up all my skin that freaks me out)

i have a half marathon scheduled for october and a marathon tentatively scheduled for december. i don't want to get too excited about putting tons of miles on my feet. but i'm hopeful. and positive. and i'm hoping all my cross-training will pay off in the running and healing department. so without further ado...



jan: complete an ironman in one month: Swim 2.4 miles, Bike 112 miles, Run 26.2 miles

feb 9: run between the cities 5k

mar: complete a sprint triathlon in gym: swim 0.5 mi, bike 12.4 mi, run 3.12 mi

apr: ??? SUGGESTIONS ANYONE ???

may 18: bay to breakers 12k

june 1: hit the road jack 10k
june 8: tbf aquathon

july: complete a sprint triathlon in gym
july 26: start marathon training (fingers crossed)

aug 2: tbf aquathon
aug 12: turn 30!

sept: complete a sprint distance triathlon in gym

oct 25: napa country classic half marathon

nov: complete a sprint distance triathlon in gym

dec 7: california international marathon OR complete an olympic distance triathlon in gym: swim .93 mi, bike 24.8 mi, run 6.2 mi

i don't want to alarm anyone

but i actually went to spin class this morning.

that's two days in a row of not just sitting on my ass.

FINALLY.

burning sensation

you know how a really hard speed workout can leave you gasping for breath? and your lungs and legs just burn? that's what swimming is like for me. only my arms and my abs burn too. i was beyond wiped after my lesson today. and i was ravenous. the kind of hungry that only happens after swimming. what's up with that?

i didn't keep track of my laps on my watch, but i did in my head, i think:

2 x freestyle kick with the board warmup
4 or 6 x (i can't remember) butterfly kick with the board (my favorite!)
2 x breaststroke kick with the board (my nemesis) i swear at some point i was moving sideways not forward)
4 or 6 x freestyle
2 x freestyle kick with board cooldown

so on the low end, i swam a mere 350 meters! with breaks! that's less than a quarter of the distance i need to swim for my aquathon! and i'm supposed to run a 10k after too?!

19 weeks better be enough time to train for something like this...

fight or flight

we all know that person who says to us, "i don't run unless i'm being chased."

well last night, i was chased. and last night, i ran.

even with a gimpy foot. and probably faster than i ever have. though it wasn't very far.

i was upstairs working on a project, with food network turned down low when i heard this god awful sound coming from outside. long, weird bellows of different lengths. like some tortured animal howling and groaning. or maybe a crazy person picking a fight. or maybe wind rushing through a weird pipe. at night all sounds conjure up the worst nightmares. so i hollered for my mommy and we peeked outside.

first we surveyed from the second story. too dark to see anything, so we crept downstairs to the large, glass sliding door. we tapped on the windows, hoping to scare whatever it was away. we flipped on the outdoor light. then flipped it off. then flipped it on.

and BAM!

two huge white dogs charged out of the gazebo in the backyard straight for the door. i bolted away from the door like lightening straight into the next room, nearly knocking my mom over.

2 dogs i said. TWO!

then they started barking. loudly. we backed away from the windows and waited. until we couldn't see them anymore.

they were definitely not our dogs and i'm very disturbed as to how they got into our fenced yard. i couldn't tell if they had tags. and i wasn't going outside to check. maybe animal lovers or those more familiar with dogs would, but i ain't going out in the dark to face 2 large unknown creatures. in my mind they were two wild rabid mongrels searching for sweet juicy asian flesh to devour.

but at least they're gone now. and at least i know i still have the runner's instinct. even if it does mean i'm a scardy cat.

a lotta rice today

so, um , yeah. about last night.

me. vodka. dance floor. twisted ankle.

no bueno.

luckily the place we were had nice plush couches so i could relax and ice immediately. and luckily, MH is a sweet, sweet boy who dragged his cousin out of bed to drive him to san francisco, so he could drive me and my car the 45 miles back home.

i've been relegated to the couch, my foot propped atop a pile of pillows, alternating between icing and wrapping. the swelling has subsided considerably. it's almost a miracle.

but it looks like this week is NOT going to be the week i get back into the swing of things. i can't even friggin' drive. looks like i'll just have to be waited on all week...

new growth

my toe nail finally fell off. i actually felt it fall off. the nerd i am thought it was super cool. luckily i had my socks on and i could save the toenail. just like i saved all my baby teeth when they fell out. hmmm, i wonder where they're stashed...

2008: the year i go bi

so what's a runner to do when she starts the new year with an injury? crosstrain! on land and by water, i shall prevail!

the only local duathlon i was able to find was the tbr series in granite bay. it's the same race held on june 7, july 12, and august 2. a 1.5 km swim followed by a 10km run. on paper it looks easy, but i can't swim more than 1 lap and that's what, only 100 m? i've got to multiply that by 15 and then i have to run 6.2 miles? ha! ha! ha!

the first race is 6 months away, which gives me plenty of time. i'm hoping that my foot will be in good shape by then, especially considering i took most of november and all of december off. if not, i'll just tear my hair out and cry in a hole. but here's to hoping that because i'm not 30 yet, i'll heal up nice and fast ;)

my other "sporty" resolution for the year is to spin at least twice a week. it would kick ass if the spin bikes at our gym calculated mileage, but they don't. so i can only measure the frequency of my visits. the 6am class on tuesday and thursday work very well with my schedule. and there's an 8am class on saturday. so really, i have no excuses.

i wish i could schedule in at least a half marathon this year, but i don't want to be dumb. getting my foot back in proper running form is my first priority.

so that's it folks. pretty simple. 2008 is the year i go bi!

525,600 minutes: how do you measure a year?

how can you measure whether the past year was a success or failure? and what's really more important, quantifying or qualifying? let's start by checking to see how i did on my resolutions:

1. run my first marathon! done and done!

2. run at least 2 half marathons. nope and nope! santa cruz was a no go for a variety of reasons and i never signed up for a second one.

3. run at least 3 days a week, every week. hahahahahahaha. um, no. this didn't happen either.

other non-running related goals. this year, i also want to:

1. learn to sew. nope.

2. pay off one of my credit cards. yup! and i paid off my car!

3. find steady employment, whether it be with my old company i'm freelancing for now or a new job here. technically yes.

4. live up to (or down to, i guess) the weight documented on my driver's license. not even for one minute was i the weight on my driver's license.

so out of 7 resolutions, i made good on only 3. less than half! does this make me a slacker? nah. am i too lenient on myself? nah. because i like taking the qualitative approach to measuring.

running that marathon makes up for missing those other two resolutions. i mean sweet jesus, i ran my first marathon! who cares that i didn't run all my training mileage? who cares that i didn't have any half marathons to practice? essentially, i ran my two half marathons during my one marathon! ;)

as for my non-running goals, i didn't learn to sew, but i did learn to cook better. if there were a sewing network on tv, i'd be all good with the sewing. and as for my weight and my current weightloss challenge, my feeling is this, if i really really really cared about being smaller, i would have manned up and lost the weight. as it was, i think i had other priorities. or maybe ive gotten complacent. either way, i'm not bummed that i'm not a size 4. i think this year, i'll just resolve to being smaller than i am right at this very second. or maybe not even make a resolution about my weight, which will be a first since, i don't know, 7th grade?

what else can i say about 2007?

if you've been reading my blog, you know 2007 was a big transition year for me. i came into it really trying not to pressure myself or expect too much. i was reeling from a horrible breakup from someone i wanted to spend the rest of my life with and was ridiculously emotional and unsure of how i would really handle the change. throughout the year, i had doubts about whether my move was smart. not so much the move itself, but the timing. but ultimately i knew i made the right decision. i came home to be closer to my family. and everyone knows, that you just don't know how much time you'll get with your loved ones. my little nephew knows my name, runs to me when i come to visit, cries when i leave, and is seriously, the coolest and smartest toddler around. i'm very happy i'm not just the crazy aunt he sees at holidays, but one that is around to influence his life on a regular basis.

i'm happy to be home, amongst my brothers and cousins, who to my surprise are totally grown and capable adult human beings! they aren't babies anymore! and as adults, they're pretty fun to be hang out with. i'm happy i'm home to be with them, to get to know their significant others, and watch them add to our family!

and then there are my parents. everyone said i'd go totally freakin' insane living with them again. there were bets placed on how soon i'd move out. and to my surprise, i've actually liked living at home again. i think we missed each other that much. i'm glad i'm home with my mom at night during the week, while my dad is at work. i'm glad i'm home to take them out to places they've never been, trying things they've never tried. i'm glad i'm here to drive them around to run their errands. i'm glad i'm here to just keep an eye on them. they're still relatively healthy and active, and i know that if i wasn't here they'd be ok. but they are getting older, and i'm happy to be here to help them when they need it. i know i can't live at home for forever, but this year hasn't been so bad, really. dare i say, my senior citizen parents are the best roommates i've ever had.

i've kept in touch with everyone back east that i wanted to. and it seems that in the year i've been gone, i haven't really missed much. that will change once my best friend has her baby in march, though. i will miss that. and i'll miss her shower. but i think i've gotten to a place where i think i'm ok with that. the hardest thing about my 20s was watching my friends couple off, get married, move out to the 'burbs, and now start to have kids. i was still "stuck" at the trying to couple off phase. it sucked so bad not having my girlfriends around to do the things we used to do. and it sucked trying to find new ones. i think i'm now at the point where i, a singleton, can co-exist in a world with couples and parents, and not have it feel so strange. and i've had a whole decade of learning to rely on myself.

the job-front has proved interesting. it's probably the area i put the least amount of effort in. many times during this year i was depressed about it and many times i felt guilty for not really wanting to do more. but i think i now have a better idea of what i want in my career and where to find those opportunities.

transition is always a weird place to be. throughout the year i always felt like i was missing something or someone. it felt like i had no home and it felt like all i had was the past. but now, after a year, i feel like i have my bearings and i can begin a future.

so here's to 2008! here's to turning 30!

the ghoul pool

my new office? they're a little wacky. here's an example:

every year, they do a ghoul pool. right before the beginning of a new year, participants make up a list of 25 celebrities they think are likely to kick the can in the coming year. if someone on your list bites it, you get points. points are calculated by subtracting that celebrity's age from 100. the person who gets the most points at the end of the year wins $25 from each participant.

it's not a wish list, they keep saying. a little morbid, yet interesting, no?

i checked out the lists from last year. someone actually had anna nicole on their list. i didn't really think she was likely to pass. and a couple had bill walsh on their lists too. he's been off my radar since he stopped coaching the niners. i was also sad to see michael j. fox on everyone's list.

anyway, because i'm a follower, i've joined in. but i'm sorely behind on my celebrity news in regards to chronic illnesses etc. who should be on my list of 25 celebrities???

happy boxing day!

as much as i was ready for the holidays to be over, i'm still surprised at how fast it all went! i couldn't wait to see how my nephew would react to the gifts i got him 1. a tricked out tricycle that plays music, has a horn, blinkers that really light up, and 2. a thomas the train pop up tent! the thing is 5 feet tall! and i bought him a huge pack of 150 balls to fill it with! i don't know who had more fun, me and my brothers or the monchichi. luckily, the tent was also a cozy place to take a nap. as for the tricycle, his legs are just a smidge too short to reach the pedals (short legs run in the family), but i'm sure he'll be cruising along in no time!

and what did MH get me? a few "trinkets" from this fine sf institution and a trinket from the jewelry store. looks like i've been good.

the rest of my loot included cash, gift cards, and cashmere, so i'm pretty set!

in the days winding down to the end of the year, i'm getting myself organized. i reorgazined my closet: took an inventory of all the clothes i own, got rid of a large bag of stuff, and stowed the out of season stuff away neatly. i got rid of some furniture that wasn't at all useful and am now in the process of reorganizing my office. i have buttloads of papers to file, artwork to hang, and photos to organize. then i need to settle in and take stock of the past year and figure out what i want to make of the coming year. 2008 marks the big 3-0 for me, kids. the big 3-0.

what could it be?

yesterday, MH spent the day getting my christmas present. i am DYING to know what it is. he said he couldn't get it around here and had to make a special trip to sf to get it. and when i called him during the day he didn't want to answer because he didn't want me to hear what was going on in the background. and he says it's 4 things.

now supposing that all wasn't a ruse for him to get out with the boys to a strip club or anything (which would be totally gross because it would have been in the middle of the day, and no one wants to see the strippers who work the day shift), what in hades could he have gotten me?

and i'm over the cloud that plagued me last week. just in time for christmas! i can't wait for everyone to open what i got for them! i know christmas isn't just about the presents, but i see my extended family ALL the TIME. but it's not everyday i break the bank buying them stuff...oooooooh, i can't wait!

merry christmas, happy new year, and bah humbug!

so boys and girls, the holidays have finally got to me. my moodiness is at its peak ; i go from having tons of energy to none at all, from feeling super to feeling like crap. it's a combination of a lot of things really, and when i get this way i usually just try to stop fighting and just let the time pass.

my swim lesson was cancelled tonight, and my instructor will be on hiatus until jan 9. not that it matters, i haven't been in the pool since my lesson last week. don't ask me how long it's been since i've run. that just makes me want to cry. it sucks so much i don't even want to read about how great everyone else's workouts are going. i know, i'm a selfish bitch like that.

so i'm absolving myself of the guilt of things i haven't done and things i know i won't get around to doing before the year is done. it's all i can do to keep my sanity. don't tell me to get my fix of endorphins. i'm opting to hibernate instead.

so....in case i don't get back on here anytime soon, merry christmas and happy new year, my dear blogger buddies. i'll be back, don't worry. but in the meantime, run happy and be healthy!

christmas meme

1. Wrapping paper or gift bag? wrapping paper! i've designed my own paper the last 6 years.

2. Real tree or artificial? artificial. we've always had an artificial tree. if i had my way, i'd decorate it once, and store it already decorated so i don't have to do it every year.

3. When do you put up your tree? it's still not up.

4. When do you take down your tree? can u tell i hate decorating the tree?

5. Do you like eggnog? never had it. looks nartsy.

6. Favorite gift received as a child? cabbage patch kid

7. Do you have a nativity scene? yes

8. Hardest person to buy for? my dad

9. Easiest person to buy for? my nephew

10. Worst Christmas gift you've ever received? i can't really think of one, actually. i guess that's a good sign i've been a good girl! :)

11. Mail or email Christmas cards? neither. i don't do christmas cards. my goal is to not stress myself out and if don't get to them, then i don't. and i never do!

12. Favorite Christmas movie? home alone!!!

13. When do you start shopping for Christmas? the week after thanksgiving

14. Have you ever recycled a Christmas present? nope. that's tacky!

15. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas? can i answer everything? my family does a huge potluck and everyone makes their signature dishes so EVERYTHING is good.

16. White or colored lights? always white.

17. Favorite Christmas song? traditional: oh holy night contemporary: all i want for christmas is you

18. Traveling for Christmas or stay home? now that i'm home, stay at home!!! travelling this time of year is hell!

19. Can you name all of Santa's reindeers? dasher and dancer and prancer and vixen. comet and cupid and donner and blitzen and rudolph!

20. Angel or Star on top of tree? angel

22. Most annoying thing about this time of year? other people's tacky xmas decorations: like when their lights aren't in sync. or don't match. or when people put like 20 inflatable decorations on their lawn. also, tacky christmas sweaters, jewelry, socks, and other accessories. blech.

23. What I love most about Christmas? childlike hope and wonderment. it's like we're all kids again and can dump our cynicism and just be happy about making other people happy.

so....consider yourselves tagged and hop to it!

diving in

the last place i took swimming lessons was at the Y in bethesda. and anyone who has been to a YMCA knows what it’s like. people everywhere! kids. seniors. families. babies. it can be pretty chaotic. but my membership was cheap, the pools were open yearround, and it was 5 minutes from my house.

my swimming experience tonight was worlds different.

my lesson was held in the outdoor pool that was enclosed by a huge tent-like dome. the only light came from inside the pool and because the pool was heated to 90 degrees, the dome became a huge steam room. it reminded me of the movie cocoon. but without the old people.

just me and my instructor, judy. my own private instructor and what felt like my own private pool. all for the low, low price of $30 a lesson. sweet!

i explained that i had 2 main goals: 1.improve my swimming skills so i can get a decent crosstraining workout. 2.develop swimming endurance to complete an aquathon/triathlon.

then she had me show her my butterfly, breaststroke, and freestyle. turns out i’m not as bad as i thought. and i felt better about my swimming once i was in the water doing it, rather than stressing about it. but obviously, i have a lot to work on. and a lot of upper body strength to build. moving water wround sure takes muscle! and don’t be surprised if my stomach is totally flat by valentines day. i could totally feel it in my abs by the end of my half hour lesson.

i left my lesson feeling totally renewed, refreshed, and rejevenated. i still miss running, but this is a fine replacement.

HWC week 7: at least someone's following the rules

last week: 155
this week: 156

thanksgiving #2 finally caught up with me.

MH on the other hand has lost 5 pounds since last week. isn't it typical? a guy gives up soda for a week and boom! half a size smaller. i do have to give him credit though. for a guy who knows very little about nutrition, he's been very good at following the rules i set for him.

me on the other hand? i'm more of a "do as i say, not as i do" kind of teacher...

there is hope, though. swimming lessons start tomorrow!

i'd rather...

be here


or here

thursday night

the japanese sure make a good beer. it's been ages since i've had sushi. and even longer since i've had a taste of the kirin ichiban. i just love saying the name over and over. ichiban! ichiban! ichiban!

this week has been a total wash in terms of workouts. instead of getting up early to go to the gym, i've been getting up early to work on freelance projects. then spending the day at my new job. after work, i've been shopping, doing baby shower invitations, and an assortment of other errands.

tonight should be pretty low key, so let's hope the forecasted rain doesn't prevent me from getting my arse to the gym.

das boot

it came. i tried. it works! no heel pain in the morning, just like it promised. now, i'm not reinjuring myself everyday! and surprisingly, it was comfortable. my foot didn't sweat. i could move around freely in bed, while my foot stayed in the flexed position. so far, i give it 5 stars. and thanks to ebay, i got it for half off retail price.

i can't wait for my yogatoes to come in!

HWC week 6: thanksgiving miracle

last week: 156
this week: 155

it's got to be a thanksgiving miracle, because after the way i ate this weekend, there's NO way i should have dropped a pound. maybe it's from getting my hair cut?

it's the hormones talking...

i was never an athlete, so the idea of an "off-season" is new to me. the closest thing i had to an off-season was summer vacation, and being the nerd that i was/am, i usually spent that time working, volunteering, taking classes, and/or doing summer reading.

my self-diagnosed PF has forced me into an off-season, but all i can think about is what marathon i want to run next year. i'm just not motivated without a race. i'm an achievement-whore. i need something to hold me accountable. i need structure. running just for the heck of it doesn't work for me. so "exercising" aka crosstraining for the heck of it doesn't really work for me either. i need something by which to measure my progress. i need a formal event where i can pat myself on the back and say "good job you did this, here's your medal and free food". so going to the gym to ellipticize or kickbox doesn't hold the same urgency for me. yeah i signed up for the weightloss challenge, but even so, working out to lose weight isn't enough of a reason for me to work out. (this might be my hormones talking)

and since i don't know when my foot will be feeling better, i have no idea when i can start running again. it's gotten me pretty bummed. if i can't train for a race, i have absolutely no motivation to get my arse to do anything!

so then i got to thinking, how about a triathlon? then i started freaking out about the cost and work involved with a bike. then i started freaking out about the fact that i can't swim more than a lap without my lungs catching fire. then a million other thoughts raced in my head: what if i do want to go back to school? what if i do find another job? what if about a million other things...

i do want to do a triathlon, eventually. now is not the year.

BUT.

i did consider, seriously, a duathlon. a swim, run race! and there are three that exist next summer in the sacramento area, in june, july, and august. i am hoping that things aren't so bad with my foot that i won't be able to handle a 10k. i'm more worried about a 1.5k swim in open water.

BUT.

that will hopefully be remedied by swimming lessons. i've been playing phone tag with a couple people and hopefully i can connect with a real live honest person this week and start soon. don't get me wrong, you can throw me in water and i know enough to not drown. but to swim 1.5k?! ha! i'm hoping that my lessons will keep me motivated, and that increasing my distance and improving my technique in swimming will feed my desire for achievement long enough to heal my stupid foot.

so that's the long explanation of the plan, folks. and i've ordered some fun toys to help with speedy foot recovery. this and this. i know, you're jealous. but i'm sure i can talk MH into giving me a foot massage tomorrow night. he's good for that.

thanksgiving, again

i'm at my brother's house with the rest of my immediate family, celebrating thanksgiving, again. my sis-in-law was away last week for a family emergency, so we're celebrating it again, now that she's back and her mother is doing much better.

last week, i was "good" on thanksgiving. this week will be a totally different story. my brother is cooking. my brother, the chef. 'nuff said, eh? so i figure, i may as well go whole hog! where's the beer?

then it's back in the saddle again on sunday.

i'm thankful for multiple thanksgivings........

taking the edge off

dudes! i have so much to do. and no desire to do any of it. but i want to be all clean and organized before i start my new job on monday morning. but i'm feeling cranky and lethargic. and i'm craving carbs DESPERATELY! i'm scared to give in because carbs only beget more carbs, but the gremlin inside needs to be fed. what will do the least amount of damage?

• caramel apple martinis?
• fudgy brownies?
• a heaping plate of pad thai?

i should just make myself a hot cut of tea, but how much do you wanna bet i end up drunk with doughnut crumbs on my shirt before the day's end??

better than the rockettes!

starring...MH, my mom, the monchichi, and ME!

thanks to chicagogal for the link. hil-ar-ious!

HWC: week 5

magically, i weighed in at 156 today. after a week of chips, beer, and no exercise followed by a week of watching what i eat (i had no pie whatsoever people. NO PIE! ON THANKSGIVING! isn't that illegal?) and no exercise, i'm up 1 pound from 2 weeks ago, but down 2 pounds overall...sounds good to me.

i'm off to a bad start on the exercise front, but tomorrow morning, i'm meeting my new trainer. MH. we made a deal, i help him with grocery shopping and his diet, and i give him permission to torture me at the gym twice a week. i get to nag, he gets to watch me sweat. fair deal.

and something that motivated me today: i was talking with a guest who just came in from a run. he's getting his ass back into shape for his annual physical for the air force. when he told me he was trying to lose weight i said, "but losing weight during the holidays is the hardest!" and he said, "but if you can do it now, you can do it any time." pretty smart. if you can lose weight during the holidays, when overindulgence is at its peak during the year, you're basically the badass of weight losers. and i always want to be the badass of something!

plus we'll all have a head start on all those people trying to fit into bikinis come june. shit by february, our valentines will be very happy we turned down all those desserts.

the design elves were here

thanks for all the positive comments about the design of my blog! since some of you asked about redesigning yours, i thought i'd offer some tips, if you're interested.

most of you know i'm a designer. but i'm a print designer, so i don't know any css or html or any of that other fancy-schmancy webcrap. that's why i use blogger. they've made it relatively easy to create a custom look on here, even within the confines of default templates, even without knowing what you're doing!

my template
my blog uses the rounders template. i chose this because it allows me to choose separate background colors for the header, sidebar, and main area. this gives you huge flexibility and control. you can go neutral, or bold, or coordinate with the holidays. you can show allegiance to your favorite sports team. or be inspired by the colors of your garden or what's hot in fashion. either way, you can customize it to your needs and update it as often as you want. right now, my sidebar and main area are both the same color, making it look like one big section.

my masthead
under TEMPLATE, go to PAGE ELEMENTS, and click on edit in the header area. you have 2 options: insert an image behind your blog title and description or replace the title and description entirely.

let's talk about the first option. instead of just a plain background color, you can insert an image. the default size for the header of this template is 720 x 156 pixels. so horizontal would be good. and keep in mind that your title will go over it. maybe go for a fun overall pattern or a photo with a lot of "white space" where the title will go. again, this function is as easy as clicking a button and uploading a picture, thereby making it easy to change, whenever you want.

my image replaces the title, giving me more control over the typography. i design all my mastheads in photoshop CS3. i am certain there are other programs out there that most non-designers use, but i don't really know of any. but i'm sure you all do. again, the size of the image needs to fit the default header size: 720 x 156.

getting fancy
i've recently figured out how to make my blog wider! i always thought the main area was too narrow, both proportionally and absolutely, so i did a search in HELP and came to this site which gave me step-by-step instructions. the HELP function in blogger really lives up to its name.

i've also found the HTML cheatsheet on webmonkey.com to be helpful.

also, if you like what you see on someone's blog, you can check out their code to see how they did it! in firefox, under VIEW, go to SOURCE CODE.

if you're worried that messing around with your template will screw things up, make a copy of your virgin template before you go messing around, just so you have it as a backup.

but not too fancy
and if you'll allow me a brief amount of time on my design soapbox. don't go too overboard! just because you can choose 10 different fonts to use throughout your blog, doesn't mean you should. my eyes will bleed and i will never read your blog again. and please remember the importance of hierarchy. if everything is important, nothing is important. don't make everything bold! and italic! and large! and bright! and blinky! and zoomy! pick 1 or 2 things to focus on, and let the rest support and compliment those important things.

but most importantly
have fun! as you can see, there's really not a lot to my custom-looking blog. just an image and a flexible template. so have at it! i can't wait to see what you guys come up with!

mastering tables

check out the new tables in my sidebar! i've broken down my holiday weightloss challenge. and when viewed in this format, it looks like a piece o' cake, no?

and you'll notice that my workouts this week do not contain any running. that is because i am taking a 3 week break. the fourth week, i'll try again, just to get my legs used to running again for my 5K on the 23rd. i'll show up because i paid for it, but how things actually go that day remains to be seen.

as for my foot issues, i thank everyone for their advice. you've solidified everything i've read on the subject. i never had any foot issues until i started running. during half marathon training, it was my peroneous longus thingamajig. i got custom orthotics for both my running shoes and everyday shoes. i trained for my second half in those orthotics and they worked fine. i never got to race, but i never had the issues i did training the first time around.

then i started waiting tables. i used the everyday orthotics in my work shoes but still ended up with achy, sore feet. and during marathon training, i started noticing pain in my heels, mainly my right foot. towards the end of training, i thought for sure i wouldn't make it because of my feet, but whatever, you know i ran the mofo anyway.

i'm beginning to think the problem was maybe the orthotic in just my right shoe. so i bought a pair of those really expensive, ugly dansko clogs that chefs and nurses wear.

most. freaking. comfortable. pair. of. shoes. ever!

and i don't have to wear an orthotic. even after a whole day on my feet, they aren't sore or achy. the only thing i feel now is the persistent nagging right heel pain. i'm thinking maybe the running orthotic is ok because i only started having problems when using the normal orthotic (and adding mileage and waiting tables). i'm hoping that swapping out the clogs for the normal orthotic, not waiting tables, and treating my feet and calves with TLC will do the trick.

and then you never have to hear about my foot issues ever again.

out of shape

dude! my quads are sore! from a 5k! when i fall off the wagon, i fall hard.

i tried running today after work...no go. my legs were way too tight and i was getting weird pains in my left foot. kind of like the weird pins and needles feeling when they go numb, only they were never numb. it's hard for me to believe it could be due to my magic shoes, especially since my feet were fine during the race. i'm blaming it on being my feet all day. even though i got new shoes for work a couple weeks ago. really expensive ones. endorsed by the podiatry society of america! my feet are just seriously effed up.

though i do have a sneaking suspicion that i have pf, which i totally ignored during marathon training because i am dumb and didn't want anything to stop me. we'll see how my feet fare once i'm not waitressing anymore...and my new health insurance kicks in. but let's pray that my self diagnosis is totally wrong. and that it isn't anything worse.

my first turkey trot

on a day i was supposed to be full of warm fuzzies, i was instead full of frustration. i left in plenty of time to get to the race but because of my stupidity, i read highway 50 as highway 5 on the directions and i ended up totally turned around. i got to csus campus just in time to wait in a huge line of cars. not wanting to wait and desperately needing to pee, i made an illegal turn to park semi-illegally. i figured it's a holiday, they're lax on parking enforcement right?

i had no idea where on campus this shindig was supposed to start but i figured that hoardes of people couldn't be wrong. so i followed the crowds, very dismayed that all i saw were families and strollers. 20,000 people were expected to show up and they gave strict directions to those who wanted to be timed to get there on time to line up in front of the mobs of walkers.

so i start on my own trot, just to get to the start line. i swear to bob this thing started on the other side of campus. i made quick use of the potties and tried to weave my way through the sea of walkers. the race had already started. how long ago i'm not sure because stupid me forgot my watch.

i'm weaving my way in and out, trying my best not to be an asshole. i mean it was my own fault for being late, but i was still aggravated. little kids everywhere. strollers everywhere. walkers lined up 3 or 4 or 10 abreast. seriously, why in the world do walkers do that?!

about this time i press play on the ipod i borrowed from my brother, because stupid me forgot my own. first song? everybody was kung fu fighting... i thought, oh this should be interesting...

so i'm zipping along. it's more of an urban fartlek exercise than a race. i'm weaving in and out, dodging little ankle biters, hopping up onto the sidewalk, side stepping tree roots, bounding over potholes. i'm running, i'm walking, i'm jumping. i'm honestly surprised i didn't either elbow an old lady in the ribs or sprain my ankle.

once the 10kers split off, i had a little more room to zoom and i got into a pretty even pace. it felt good. i was finally running again. in the crisp fall air. i felt all badass in my special gloves, special hat, and brand new kicks. being one of very few runners in a sea of walkers makes me feel very cocky.

the rest of the race was pretty uneventful. nothing special to note, except for this: women of sacramento, i beseech you, invest in running skirts. seriously. they hide ALL sins. and i should know, i am the biggest sinner of them all. but at least i cover that shit up!

anyway, back to the new shoes, i got fitted yesterday by the most luscious tall drink of chocolate milk ever. perhaps that's how i walked out of the store with a pair of shoes $30 more expensive than my last pair and a pair of socks i didn't really need! after going from a pair of motion control, to super motion control, to stability shoes, i've been outfitted in a pair of neutral shoes by new balance. they said my orthotics are taking care of all my pronation issues and when compared to the new version of my old model, the new balances felt much more comfortable and roomy in the toe box area, a place where my old shoes felt too snug at times. salesman failed to mention they were $120. but whatever, they are magical shoes, i'm sure of it.

so back to the race, i finish and see the clock: 47:09. i estimated that i was about 10 minutes late and i was close. i was actually 10:50 late. so my real time is 36:18. an average pace of 11:43. the bad news: while i didn't feel spent, it was an effort. the good news: i really do feel invigorated in my running again. a month from now, we'll see where i stand!

full of thanks

a bunch of randomness:

• moment of truth monday? ha! i haven't seen a scale since last week. MH has been moving and i am his #1 helper elf. that has GOT to count for some crosstraining. if it also didn't include potato chips and fortys of beer.

• i'm running a turkey trot tomorrow. i'm not nervous or scared or anything like that. i wish i was. where, oh where, has my competitive spirit gone? the good news is if i "run" it in like 40 minutes, i'll certainly beat my time come december!

• 2 canned goods at my local fleet feet equals $10 off a purchase of $75 or more. i need new kicks anyway! i also need new running clothes because i'm getting too big to fit into bored of mine. christmas will be coming early for me.

• for the first time in a decade, i get to spend thanksgiving with my family!! this is a big deal and i'm very happy and very thankful for this. it's been a year since i've moved and it's been an emotional year for sure. many times i thought i had made the wrong decision. but this year has also been filled with so many blessings: the lil monchichi, being back with my brothers and cousins, talking to my mom everyday, a new job, a new boy who thinks i'm pretty swell. i am thankful indeed.

good luck to everyone running tomorrow. happy and safe travels to those making the trek to see loved ones. and eat your hearts out people.

growing up too fast

can i please stop time and keep him this age forever? and then bottle him up and carry him around everywhere i go?



we also took some photos in photobooth, but i think the weirdo images were creeping him out.



my brother and i were having fun with it though.

holiday 5ks

so you know what i'm sick of more than running? NOT RUNNING! it's nearly a month since the marathon and i think i'm ready to get back on the wagon. and now with a normal work schedule i can actually sign up for races on the weekends!

so in the great running tradition, i'm all registered for a turkey trot in sacramento on thanksgiving. i'm not expecting any running miracles, except to finish and have a grand ol' time. but i'm looking for this race to give me the boost i need to get back into running regularly.

because in exactly one month and one day after that, i am running the christmas classic 5k in san francisco. my goal will be to demolish my turkey trot time, if not pull in a sub-30 min 5k.

after months of marathon madness, 5k training seems like a slice of heaven. sure i might want to totally vomit my guts out from trying to run consistent 10 minute miles, but at least the torture only lasts 30 minutes!

the wait is over

the good news you've been waiting for? i've accepted a full-time design position.

don't get too excited. it's not my dream job, but it's not waiting tables. i don't have to work weekends (unless i want to wait tables for fun, which i am known to do) and i have a normal person's work schedule! i still plan on doing freelance on the side and will continue to look for my ideal design job.

but i've got other ideas as well. i'm seriously contemplating going back to school so that i can teach. i've always wanted to do it, and i've always been told i'd make a good teacher but i will say the thought of it kind of terrifies me. i was always an eager student. what would i do with students who don't want to learn as eagerly as i do?

i've been out of school for 7 years now and the idea of going back scares me too. plus i have no teaching experience, other than the summers i worked with my mom in her classroom, back when i was in high school! so in the next couple of weeks, i have a lot of research to do.

so for all you teachers out there (and i know there a good number of you) what's it really like? what's involved in getting certified? i've also seen certification/MA programs...how do i know what program is right for me? how will i even know if i'm cut out for teaching???

making a good first impression

yesterday, MH and i got to his mom's house only to find out that everyone was still at work. so we let ourselves in and made ourselves at home. we took advantage of this quiet time to relax and watch tv upstairs before the onslaught on family members. as things go, one thing led to another and...ahem...anyway, you get the idea. somehow the time got away from us and either the tv was on too loud or we just weren't paying attention because we didn't hear anyone approaching the door.

in the longest second ever known to man, i heard the door click, saw two sets of eyes make eye contact with mine as i scrambled to grab a blanket, we all shrieked and mumbled, "sorry! sorry!". the door slammed and i buried my face in the blanket absolutely mortified. MORTIFIED! the funny thing was, was that i couldn't stop laughing. it was so funny yet so excruciatingly mortifiying all at the same time. MH wasn't sure whether i was laughing or crying but i assured him that i was only laughing. quietly dying inside, but still laughing. when i could finally breathe i seethed: why didn't you LOCK the door?! i thought i did, he said.

so yeah, that's how i met MH's grandma.

i contemplated sneaking out from the second story window and never seeing anyone in his family ever again, but knew that was pretty impractical. so we laughed some more, regained composure and joined the rest of the family downstairs. they were either more traumatized than i was or had a good sense of humor about it because they didn't make me feel uncomfortable. actually, his family made me feel very welcome that night and i was pleased to be a part of his family's mini-reunion.

so now the worst is over, concerning meeting his family. his dad and brother live in mexico, so unless MH and i get really serious, i won't have to bound that hurdle. but if i can win over his grandma, his mom, and his sister, i think we'll be ok.

Another Monday

weight last week: 159
weight this week: 155

it's good to not be hopped up on hormones.

don't know what else to say. my brain has been severely impaired lately, and i wonder why i still blog.

oh, i'm meeting MH's grandma tomorrow night who is in town for the month from mexico. i feel like i should be reading my diccionario. or at least watching dora the explorer or plazo sesamo or something. MH assures me my spanish is good enough to get by and make a good impression but we shall see. maybe if i keep my mouth stuffed with tamales all night i won't have to talk.

more about me, the crabby patty

so i'm home from work, feeling terribly crabby for no real tangible reason since i'm not at work anymore. but i'm feeling so crabby i'm liable to ditch kbox tonight and head for the movies and drown my crabbiness in a tub o' popcorn. the angel on one shoulder says, oh just go you'll feel so good, then you can go to the movies. then the devil on my other shoulder says, shut it, you want popcorn and butter and don't forget the chocolate covered gummi bears. i might just tire myself out with the internal conflict and opt to fall asleep instead...

for now, i'll engage in 311's game of tag. she wants me to list 5 random facts about me then tag 5 people at the end:

1.

You Are An ENFJ

The Giver You strive to maintain harmony in relationships, and usually succeed. Articulate and enthusiastic, you are good at making personal connections. Sometimes you idealize relationships too much - and end up being let down. You find the most energy and comfort in social situations ... where you shine. In love, you are very protective and supporting. However, you do need to "feel special" - and it's quite easy for you to get jealous. At work, you are a natural leader. You can help people discover their greatest potential. You would make a good writer, human resources director, or psychologist. How you see yourself: Trusting, idealistic, and expressive When other people don't get you, they see you as: Bossy, inappropriate, and loud

What's Your Personality Type?

2. i am fascinated by left handedness. i have always wanted to be left handed. and i notice right away when someone is lefthanded.

3. i have never dated anyone of my own race. the reason i don't date asian guys is that i feel like we're all related somehow. they all remind me too much of a brother, a cousin, an uncle, etc. in fact, the majority of guys i've dated were not from the u.s., yet i've never been out of the country.

4. speaking of race, the question i get asked most often is, "where are you from?" or "what nationality are you?" if i had a dollar for everytime i was asked that, i'd be a very rich woman. when i lived on the east coast, i figured it was because there isn't a huge filipino population out there and people would just be confused because i didn't look quite asian or quite latina. but even in the year that i've been back west, i get that question at least 3 times a week. does this happen to anyone else?!?

5. the only A i didn't really earn in school was 8th grade algebra. i raised my B to an A using the extra credit points of a boy in my class who had a crush on me. he was a a freakin' genius who skipped a grade, already had a very solid A in the class, with tons of extra credit to spare. too bad his extra credit couldn't help me 4 years later in calculus. i got my first ever B second semester of my senior year. luckily, i never wanted to be a physicist or anything.

there you go...i tag anyone who cares to play!

back to back spin and MH's mom

last night: 1.5 mile run and spin class with asian betty. same instructor as kbox. while i loved her monday night, during spin, i wanted to rip off her pigtails. her thing was to slowly build our speed all while adding resistance, then slow us down quickly to nothing, then start that climb again. over and over. i swear there was a point where we were up in a climb and my legs just refused to move. i pushed and pushed and nothing.

this morning: spin with elvis. he had a variety of things going on, but i don't remember much because i was distracted by just how much my glutes BURNED! oh that and listening to him try to rap was hilarious.

today: MH and i are visiting his sister who is finally out of the hospital with her newborn baby boy! this also means we're having lunch with his mom and aunt. let's hope i'm just as charming in my remedial spanish as i am in english. and i don't think "donde esta la cerveza?" will win me any points today...

20 pounds ago

when i started this blog, i was very close to my goal weight, and that was just a little over a year ago. trying to reverse that 20 pound gain in 3 short months is definitely doable, if you figure that a 2-lb/wk loss is still considered healthy. but i gotta say the idea of losing these 20 pounds feels harder than running 26.2 miles!

but i've done it before, and i'll do it again. and i have to keep reminding myself that it is possible. i mean this was me just last summer (2006) weighing in at roughly 138. and to think back then, i wanted to lose 10 more! right now, if you told me that's the smallest i'd ever get, i'd take it and never ever complain!

so i think i need to printout 20 copies of this, make magnets and stickers and buttons, and stick 'em everywhere to motivate myself. sure, i never looked like jessica biel, but i'll take this version of me anyday!

the 120 pound high-school version of me would have BALKED at weighing that much. but my high-school self never ran a farking marathon! ah, how age changes your perspective.

oh and regarding "the news"...we still have to wait...

tuesday is my friday

as the day progressed, so did my soreness. yeah to using new muscles! especially the butt ones. and it wasn't the omg i can't even move kind of soreness, but the i did exactly enough to fatigue my muscles in the most perfect way kind. i figured it better to not totally push it with a workout today. i hate being so sore i'm cranky and whiny all day. besides today is my friday.

i might have good news tomorrow morning. we'll have to see how things go.

moment of truth monday

weight on 11/1: 158
current weight: 159

yeah, leave it up to me to GAIN a pound. but i expected it - it's that time of month. i'm surprised the gain was only 1!

as far as diet, keeping to my rule has been relatively easy. there is constant temptation at work and home, but i'm proud to say i've been bacon-free for a week! i haven't touched any desserty type foods except for 2 chocolate covered strawberries today. hey! they're good for you, right? :) saturday, i tried to be good at hooters, but that just didn't work. and i regretted it almost instantly. i felt so icky and bloated and sick afterward. maybe that's just the lesson i needed to learn.

my parents also came home with some lovely pastries and breads from the filipino bakery. damn them! the good thing is that they also picked up some persimmons and pomegrenates from the store too!

tonight, i went to kickboxing. i was pleased to see that the instructor wasn't one of those bouncy, fluffy aerobicise types. she was the normal, no frills, get to business type. my favorite type. the new girl at work came with me and she was impressed that i kept up so well. little did she know i kickboxed for years before i found running. and i'm pretty intense about it. i felt very much at home and thrilled to be punching and kicking imaginary ass!

and damn, you know those plyometric jumps and squats and lunges?! we did those too. and all i thought was, this better make me a faster runner!

a petite hiatus

so, i haven't really wanted to admit this because i was afraid of what it might mean, but i'm thinking it might be a good thing.

i'm kinda sick of running. eek! there i said it.

for whatever reason, it's just not doing it for me. i dread it. absolutely dread it. i don't want to do long runs because they're too long. i don't even want to do the short ones because i think, why get all dressed and sweaty for only 2 or 3 miles? i hate reading how everyone and their mother just LOOOOVES running and how that's exactly what they want to do when they're stressed or tired or cranky. i want to do the exact opposite. i'd rather sleep or eat or drink or ANYTHING but run. i'm looking at my calendar with my faux training scheduling thinking, god, i don't want to run any of those!

and then i just feel guilty. for missing my workouts. for being a lazy runner.

i've thought about why i started running in the first place. what motivated me in the past. and i've come up with this. it was thrilling to do everything for the first time. my first 5k, then 10k, then half marathon. then holy shit, marathon! i've run a handful of other races, PRing each time. so now i'm like ok, now what?

i think it's time for a break. eek! i can't believe i said that. but it's true. at this point i don't feel very fit, even after running a god danged marathon. i think my brain and my body need a diversion. kickboxing sounds good, doesn't it? spinning too, eh? and if i really feel like it, and if i'm already dressed for the gym, maybe i'll pound out a 5k every now and then. but for now until the first of the year, i'm giving myself permission to not run if i don't want to.

whew! i feel better already. i still have a score to settle with santa cruz, so i'm sure once january comes along, i'll be back in the game training for another half marathon.

oh and the holiday weightloss challenge, is still on. i'm just gonna have to lose the pounds another way.

the value of an hour

i woke up today at 4:30. bleary-eyed, i reached for my watch. then i went looking for some shorts and a bra. i was down to my last pair of each. trying to find socks was the trickier part. clean ones anyway. i contemplated for a good 5 minutes whether it was ok to wear cotton socks just this one time, when i realized i had no idea where my vaseline was. then i tripped over about 5 pairs of shoes and about a dozen empty water bottles. then it kind of dawned on me, that my hour in the morning would be better used tidying up the heaps and heaps of crap that had been slowly eating up my room.

now, laundry is separated, clothes are hung, shoes put away, mail is sorted, trash has been trashed, and i can actually see the floor.

tonight after work we're going to sac to celebrate my brother's birthday. at hooters. if there was any day i should have gone to the gym, it was today. luckily we get an extra hour tomorrow. 'cause i'll need that extra hour to burn off some unwanted but tasty calories.

an odd milestone

this morning, i used up the very last bitty-bit of my first stick o' body glide.

i'm surprised i didn't need to order them by the truckful during marathon training. now i just have another reason to visit the good ol' neighborhood running store! besides, i need new kicks....let's see what else i come home with!

holiday weightloss challenge

so it appears i'm not the only one looking to lose weight! thank god because sometimes i feel like every runner out there but ME is slim, trim, and worthy of short-shorts. i waffled joining p.o.m's weightloss challenge because it required posting my actual weight. like in black and white. like for all the world to see. and i immediately thought, oh HELL no, you're freakin' crazy.

then i realized, shit, i'm not gonna be at this weight forever. why not document just how much i can tip the scales in my favor. so......

• Post your current weight: onefiftyeight. not my heaviest but pretty close.
  
• Post your goal weight: 135
  
• Post your prize to yourself: this.
  

on mondays, i'll post my current weight to check the status. goals must be met by february 1st in order to give yourself your own prize. you are only competing against yourself. But, you have us to share your success with (because there will be no failure!)

big girls don't cry

so. follow up to the drama.

crazy-ass nicole finally admitted that SHE was the only one upset, that she made up all the stuff about my family being mad at me/MH, that the reason she was upset was not because we were "lying" to her but that she felt slighted that MH wasn't spending enough time with her. crazy girl finally admitted she was jealous. she didn't admit this to me, of course. but she and MH worked everything out, only after MH kissing major ass to make her feel better, but he was willing to do it just to make peace.

she kept asking him how the two of us work, since we're very different, and he reassured her that things do work and that we really very much do like each other. but she still sounded incredulous. like i'm not good enough for him, or something. it's not an issue she has to understand, just something she needs to accept and if she's mature enough, something she can be happy for him about.

i talked to my sister-in-law about it, who is pretty close to nicole, and even she rolled her eyes at nicole's antics. we don't understand nicole's feeling of "competition" with me. she gets upset when i spend time with my brother, too. well hello, newsflash sweetie, he's my BROTHER and hello, i haven't been around in oh 10 years, so yeah it'd be cool for me and him to hang out. my whole family sees that she's crazy in this regard, but no one but me has to deal with it as a personal attack on them.

so it appears all is back to normal. well our normal anyway. i've still got to track down lil bro and give him a heads up, and i'll be sure to leave out my own commentary about how his girlfriend is an immature crazy psycho.

in other news, i got britney's new album. it effing rocks. perfect running music....so folks i'm off....i definitely need a run to clear out the toxins! sheesh!

such drama

this is mainly a post to vent about bf/family drama so if you're not into that, carry on with your halloween candy. if you like such carnage, settle in.

dudes, i'm in the middle of some stupid 90210 bullshit right now. seriously, i had no idea that something so innocent would hurt so many feelings. but i seem to have underestimated the maturity of some people.

so you know how i was hesitant to start anything up with MH? some of it had to do with him being younger than me. some of it had to do with wondering whether i was ready to date/get involved with someone again. only a fraction of it had to do with him being friends with my brother and his girlfriend (yes, the one who called me fat). and when we first started seeing each other it was more about just getting to know each other as friends. from the very beginning i stated quite firmly that i didn't want anything serious. we were just getting to know each other and it would probably be best to keep things on the DL. i didn't want to get in the middle of a huge gossipfest at work and i didn't think i needed anyone's approval or permission about who i spent my time with.

that was back in june, i think. through the summer we had several talks about the state of affairs. was he my boyfriend? should we tell people? i was adamant that there was no need to define our relationship, especially since it seems that the only options we were offered were "friend" or "boyfriend". i was not ready to proclaim to the world that he was my boyfriend nor did i feel i owed anyone that proclamation should that be the case. we were in that grey area and as long as we were both comfortable in that area, i thought everything was cool.

by this time, people were noticing the amount of time we were spending together. people asked what was up and i just said it's none of their business. or for certain people, i would just say "nothing". like i said, i didn't think i owed people a press conference into my private life. i figured that people would see us together, put 2 and 2 together, and just leave it at that.

somewhere along the way, i started to notice that things between MH and my brother's girlfriend were strained. i chalked it up to her being jealous that i was taking his time away from her. i figured she would be able to deal with it. since she had her own boyfriend to worry about. and in the beginning we tried to include her in things, but she didn't want any part in it. seriously, i don't play games with jealous little girls who can't deal with their feelings. we're all adults here.

the weird thing was that she gave major shit to MH, but not to me. to me she was a ray of sunshine, wanting to be my new best friend. it took me awhile to notice things had gone awry because she was so normal with me. but MH would show me the scathing texts she sent him. which only confirmed my instinct that she was a little more than fake.

as it turns out, my brother is indeed very pissed off that MH and i are dating (or whatever the hell you call it). i honestly didn't think he'd care. the only reason i thought he might care was if MH was a jerk or something. but MH's always received glowing compliments from both my brother and nicole about what a great guy he is. their esteem of him was one of the reasons i felt comfortable getting to know him. i thought they'd be HAPPY FOR US!

that is not the case at all. my brother feels disrespected bc MH didn't approach him before he started things with me. nicole doesn't understand why he had to mess with me in the first place. MH is desperately trying to keep everyone happy. and i don't understand why all these people have any say about what i do in my personal life. for christ's sake i'm a 29 year old woman. it was mainly MY idea to keep things quiet.

so now my brother wants to kick MH's ass, i've made MH grovel to nicole for forgiveness to try to smooth things over, nicole is crying and threatening that she is moving away, and i've got to face both of my brothers about an issue that i frankly don't think is any of their business.

i will admit that maybe we should have told my brother sooner, but it really isn't until recently that both of us have felt firmly and comfortably that seeing each is exactly what we want to do. until recently, we feel like there wasn't anything concrete to report. and now that we've reached this stage, everyone is already pissed off at us.

nicole has said that no amount of apologizing will change their minds. she says my brother hasn't confronted me because he doesn't think it's my fault. if my brother's only problem is that MH didn't approach him before, i don't see how a sincere apology from a good friend won't be enough to soothe the bad feelings. if my brother has other problems, i'd like to know. and they better not be related to telling me what to do.

nicole is a whole other issue. i formed my opinion of her pretty quickly, and felt that in other circumstances, we would not be friends. but because she's my brother's girlfriend i was cordial and friendly and all the things a sister is supposed to be. i didn't go out of my way to spend lots of time with her alone or outside of family things because i just honestly don't like spending time with her. i was ok with that. i didn't think we needed to be bffs for our familial relationship to work. she now thinks i'm selfish because i didn't consider my brother's feelings. (i honestly didn't think he'd care). and she blames MH for "taking away her opportunity to get to know me better", whatever the hell that means.

i can't help but laugh though. because seriously, aren't we all too fucking old for this kind of drama? i have no idea how this shiz-nit is gonna shake down.

onward!

post-marathon assessments

i was sore for two whole days after the marathon. i actually had to work the day after the marathon and the day after that. my boss had pity on me and sent me home early on monday, but i still spent 6 hours on my feet, waddling like a newborn baby calf. on tuesday, i worked the entire shift. but after work that day, i got my ridiculously good massage (that i got for 20% off) and all was right with the world the next morning. i got to sleep in and take it easy and my body doesn't even remember the pain involved at all. i should have taken the cue to run, but i didn't. :)

my official marathon finishing time: 6:12:53. not a stellar time, even by first marathon standards, but i finished. and i really am truly proud of that. even me, the most undertrained, chubby marathoner in the history of mankind, finished. and with a time that slow, borne of what i consider to be lackluster training, means i will most likely PR my second marathon (barring extreme disaster) and oh yes, there will be a second marathon my friends. and hopefully more to come after.

in a perfect world, i would love to run the mardi gras marathon in late february. but as it is not a prefect world, i will most likely wait until next fall. i've got other priorities that need major attention so my second marathon will have to wait, even though i'm itching to go back out there!

the greatest lesson i've learned from my training is that things are never so bad that i can't survive them. i know it sounds obvious, and i should be old enough to know this, but it's true. the task of running 26.2 miles sounds so freakin' daunting. the work required to get there definitely ain't easy either. but i learned that it is doable. a 16, 18 mile training run sounded so daunting, so time consuming, so god damned sucky that i really did dread them. but once i was done, i often felt, well that wasn't so bad now was it? sure it was hard and tough at spots, but you got through it! it makes other tasks in life seem not so hard. and it definitely helps me realize that it's much easier and more pleasant to attain a goal if you 1. learn to enjoy what it takes to get there and 2. don't obsess about how fast you get there. on the road of life, like running, it's not about the destination, but the journey.

so where am i headed next?

to skinny jeans, USA.

my weight has always been an "issue". never a pressing issue, as i've always maintained good health and i've usually always nipped things in the bud before they got way out of hand. but as we all know, it gets harder to rein things in the older we get.

i lost a good amount of weight when i first started running about 20 months ago, all of which has found its way back to me. i chalked it up to stress, which is partly true, but it's mostly due to laziness regarding my eating habits. back when i trained for my first half marathon, i was so excited about my running and training that healthy habits came practically naturally. my new found running habit spurred an excellent eating habit. around that time i started eating organic and took great joy and pride in making my meals.

what's different now? i've found i can eat poorly and still get away with running decently. a year after i started running, i PRed in every distance even though i was heavier, but it probably had more to do with me being better conditioned.

also, i never had junk food in the house. not that i didn't eat junk food, but i ate it far less, because it required an extra trip to the store if i got the munchies. and like i said i'm lazy so i rarely made it out to the store to fulfill my cravings. what's different now? i share a kitchen with my parents. who stock it with crap, despite the fact that my parents suffer from heart disease and diabetes. (they have made some good changes, but not nearly enough in my mind. i could write a whole diatribe about this, but i've resigned to letting my parents live how they want to live. i've tried intervening and it's practically futile.) and crap isn't the right word. we eat lots of vegetables, and fish, and healthy things, but we also eat a lot of red meat, baked goods and other luscious treats. we just eat a lot in general.

and i hate, hate, hate talking about weight loss. i hate being that girl "on a diet". i'd rather talk about my bowel movements than talk about calorie consumption. it's just so boring and tedious and cliche. nothing is more grating than a chick on a diet who talks about her diet. and i am not a numbers person. i would rather eat nothing than have to calculate my portions and calories and carbs and fats etc. it just makes my head spin. and it takes the joy out of eating. and taking the joy out of eating is taking the joy out of life.

and maybe that's part of my problem. equating eating with joy. people say food is just fuel. but in my life, it's just so not. delicious food is like a luxury. sharing meals with family has always been important. creating meals is a creative outlet. and finding exactly what sates you on a particularly bad day can be a lifesaver. food is never just fuel and i feel like people who say that must lead a very grey life. a skinny life, perhaps. but totally dull.

so now that you've heard all about my food issues, where does this leave me? with a new training program and some new rules about eating to prepare me for the new year (coming in only 9 weeks! have you started your christmas shopping?)

the number of training runs i missed during marathon training is quite embarrassing. and i'd like to be more consistent. runner's world training coach has devised a 9 week schedule for a faux half-marathon race right before the new year. it has me running 4 days a week, and let me just say having my longest long run be only 10 miles is so refreshing. in addition, i'm adding 2 days of strength training. i haven't hired a personal trainer, but i have downloaded this. it seems like a very cost effective substitute. i'm aiming for 2 days of spin, but my gym has been changing the rules about how to sign up for the class that it's really annoying me. it's hard to count on getting a spot. if that turns out to be the case, i might download some spin classes and do them on my own in the wee hours of the morning when the studio isn't being used by a class.

on the eating front, i'm not even going to lay out grand plans for being a virtuous eater. for now, my rule will be i will only eat if i'm sitting down at a table, with my food on a plate, where i can actually sit and enjoy my food. sure i could fill my plate with fried chicken and gravy, but i do that now anyway. my extra calories come from sitting on the couch, eating while bored or eating so mindlessly and quickly, that i don't stop when i'm full. hopefully, just knowing i can eat whatever i want will maintain my sanity and i can focus on portion control.

so that's it peeps. in 9 weeks i hope to be 9-18 pounds lighter. and i can live up to my petite moniker.

just call me foxy!

holy afro! this wig is probably my favorite purchase of the year! just think of how much fun it will be besides halloween!!! the best part of this costume was my eye makeup but alas, this picture does not do it justice.













here's my brother the sumo wrestler, sharing the dance floor and stripper pole with a giant penis and male aerobics instructor.














me and the girls. i am by far the oldest of the group, hence my non-skanky costume. at least i can use my dress again! :)













by far, my favorite costume of the night: a dude as ugly betty!


luckily, but weirdly, i didn't get out of control drunk. i was able to maintain a slight buzz at one point in the night, but for some reason wasn't able to maintain it for long and i was ready to leave the party at 12:30. most likely because i was drinking vodka and not beer. or i'm getting old. one of the two.

something about the night brought out the skanks, both girls and boys. every girl had a skanky costume. and a good number of boys either wore nothing more than briefs and a cape or shorty shorts. it was hilarious! by the time i left, no one had stripped down to any less, but i wouldn't put it past 'em.

on tuesday, my mom's school is having a halloween carnival, and i've got a g-rated version of my costume so i can help out. on wednesday, we're taking the monchichi for his first trick-or-treating experience. it should be interesting!

happy marathoner

the folks at brightwood sure are fast!