such drama

this is mainly a post to vent about bf/family drama so if you're not into that, carry on with your halloween candy. if you like such carnage, settle in.

dudes, i'm in the middle of some stupid 90210 bullshit right now. seriously, i had no idea that something so innocent would hurt so many feelings. but i seem to have underestimated the maturity of some people.

so you know how i was hesitant to start anything up with MH? some of it had to do with him being younger than me. some of it had to do with wondering whether i was ready to date/get involved with someone again. only a fraction of it had to do with him being friends with my brother and his girlfriend (yes, the one who called me fat). and when we first started seeing each other it was more about just getting to know each other as friends. from the very beginning i stated quite firmly that i didn't want anything serious. we were just getting to know each other and it would probably be best to keep things on the DL. i didn't want to get in the middle of a huge gossipfest at work and i didn't think i needed anyone's approval or permission about who i spent my time with.

that was back in june, i think. through the summer we had several talks about the state of affairs. was he my boyfriend? should we tell people? i was adamant that there was no need to define our relationship, especially since it seems that the only options we were offered were "friend" or "boyfriend". i was not ready to proclaim to the world that he was my boyfriend nor did i feel i owed anyone that proclamation should that be the case. we were in that grey area and as long as we were both comfortable in that area, i thought everything was cool.

by this time, people were noticing the amount of time we were spending together. people asked what was up and i just said it's none of their business. or for certain people, i would just say "nothing". like i said, i didn't think i owed people a press conference into my private life. i figured that people would see us together, put 2 and 2 together, and just leave it at that.

somewhere along the way, i started to notice that things between MH and my brother's girlfriend were strained. i chalked it up to her being jealous that i was taking his time away from her. i figured she would be able to deal with it. since she had her own boyfriend to worry about. and in the beginning we tried to include her in things, but she didn't want any part in it. seriously, i don't play games with jealous little girls who can't deal with their feelings. we're all adults here.

the weird thing was that she gave major shit to MH, but not to me. to me she was a ray of sunshine, wanting to be my new best friend. it took me awhile to notice things had gone awry because she was so normal with me. but MH would show me the scathing texts she sent him. which only confirmed my instinct that she was a little more than fake.

as it turns out, my brother is indeed very pissed off that MH and i are dating (or whatever the hell you call it). i honestly didn't think he'd care. the only reason i thought he might care was if MH was a jerk or something. but MH's always received glowing compliments from both my brother and nicole about what a great guy he is. their esteem of him was one of the reasons i felt comfortable getting to know him. i thought they'd be HAPPY FOR US!

that is not the case at all. my brother feels disrespected bc MH didn't approach him before he started things with me. nicole doesn't understand why he had to mess with me in the first place. MH is desperately trying to keep everyone happy. and i don't understand why all these people have any say about what i do in my personal life. for christ's sake i'm a 29 year old woman. it was mainly MY idea to keep things quiet.

so now my brother wants to kick MH's ass, i've made MH grovel to nicole for forgiveness to try to smooth things over, nicole is crying and threatening that she is moving away, and i've got to face both of my brothers about an issue that i frankly don't think is any of their business.

i will admit that maybe we should have told my brother sooner, but it really isn't until recently that both of us have felt firmly and comfortably that seeing each is exactly what we want to do. until recently, we feel like there wasn't anything concrete to report. and now that we've reached this stage, everyone is already pissed off at us.

nicole has said that no amount of apologizing will change their minds. she says my brother hasn't confronted me because he doesn't think it's my fault. if my brother's only problem is that MH didn't approach him before, i don't see how a sincere apology from a good friend won't be enough to soothe the bad feelings. if my brother has other problems, i'd like to know. and they better not be related to telling me what to do.

nicole is a whole other issue. i formed my opinion of her pretty quickly, and felt that in other circumstances, we would not be friends. but because she's my brother's girlfriend i was cordial and friendly and all the things a sister is supposed to be. i didn't go out of my way to spend lots of time with her alone or outside of family things because i just honestly don't like spending time with her. i was ok with that. i didn't think we needed to be bffs for our familial relationship to work. she now thinks i'm selfish because i didn't consider my brother's feelings. (i honestly didn't think he'd care). and she blames MH for "taking away her opportunity to get to know me better", whatever the hell that means.

i can't help but laugh though. because seriously, aren't we all too fucking old for this kind of drama? i have no idea how this shiz-nit is gonna shake down.