i hate that i turn into a bitchy monster once a month, but i can't help it. my hormones are a force stronger than anything on earth. even drugs. even alcohol. but that doesn't mean i won't try to calm my inner beast with a few glasses of wine.
after my 16 miles on saturday, i had to work 9 hours at a wedding, and another 8 hours the next morning. monday after work i was pooped and it's taken me until today to feel half normal. i'm counting my overtime at the hotel as cross training and getting a recovery run in tomorrow.
but right now, i'm self medicating with chocolate and wine.
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
Saturday, September 08, 2007
rollin' with the homies
at long last, a triumphant long run report!
last night i was able to find my watch, but my nike plus receiver was still at large. so i made a plan to run a 3.25 mile loop from my house, continue on to run the 10.25 mile loop to the golf course, and then finish up with the 3.25 mile loop i started with. when i charted it out on gmaps pedometer, it would total roughly 16.75 miles.
before my run, i drove to the entrance of the golf course to stash 2 bottles of water. i also stashed one on my porch. i had 4 full bottles on my fuel belt but i always get nervous that i don't have enough water and there was only one place along my route to buy water and that was at safeway. and we all know how i feel about safeway! i packed 4 gus with the idea to stop and walk every 45 minutes to take one. i also planned to take 10 second walk breaks somewhere between each gu. (thanks wendy for your tip)
so off i started in the semi-darkness. the first mile kinda sucked as it included a hill, but once i found the other side, i was running pretty smoothly. i did my 3.25 loop, got back to my house and peed. while it was annoying to have to stop i felt confident that i was properly hydrated.
so off i went again. there was another small uphill portion but for the most part, the next 2.5 miles would be nice and flat. which would be good because the first half of the golf course was a long, slow climb. by the time i got there, i was not even halfway through my bottles, so i didn't have to refill. onward i trudged. up, up, up. before i knew it the worst of the hills were behind me and i could cruise the slow, descent down.
somewhere along the way i reached the halfway mark and i assessed my situation. i wasn't spent, but it also didn't feel like a walk in the park. my spirits were high, but i knew i wasn't going to just fly through the second half. but i pressed on.
i made it to the entrance of the golf course, and found my water bottles totally unfucked around with! while i'd heard of people doing this all the time, i'd never done it myself because i was always afraid someone would find my bottles and put drugs in them or something. stupid, i know. but you have those thoughts when you are raised by a paranoid, overprotective mother.
anyway, at this point, i was relieved to run a nice flat stretch of road. during this time a couple thoughts ran through my head. i tried to do the math of how far i'd run and how much longer i had and what time it was now and what time i wanted to finish , but my brain started to get really confused. then for some strange reason, i thought of where i was on 9/11. . i remember that day very, very vividly. i remember the second i heard the news and everything that happened afterward. i don't know why i started thinking about it, but i did. then my mind started to prepare for the uphill climb back up to my house, where i would reach
13.5 miles.
the idea of stopping then didn't even occur to me. i was tired, sure, but i knew i only had 3.25 miles left to go. even if i had to walk half of it, i'd still try. so up another hill i climbed and down again i went. when i got to the turn around point i was fucking spent. at that point i'd cleared about 15 miles, a valiant effort indeed. i took my final gu and a took a long walk break to figure out how i was gonna finish the last 1.6 miles. i was just sooo tired. and my legs were really starting to not like me.
but then wendy's voice said to me, "your mind is stronger than your body". she appeared out of nowhere, hovering in the air, with her arms crossed looking really stoic, looking kind of like a genie. then i heard anne's motherly voice, whispering in my ear "you can do it". she was sitting on my shoulder like one of those good angels. then i saw jen and maritza on the race course, with a big sign cheering and yelling like they were on crack. then i heard marcy, swearing and cursing at me to finish. i saw neese on the sidelines, meditating and calm, sending me good vibes. and i saw jess and bcg at the finish line with huge pitchers of cold, frosty beer in each hand. i was mentally high-fiving people left and right, amy, teacherwoman, josie, gina. what a coincidence that bobby brown's "every little step i take" came on my ipod. i felt sooo invigorated!
and it was very appropo that rihanna's "umbrella" came on as i rounded the corner to finish the last quarter mile home! i felt so much more energized at mile 16.5 than i did at 15! mind over matter, people. mind over matter.
while i couldn't take splits at every mile, i took splits at distances i knew.
split: (total distance): split time: (total time)
1.625: (1.625) 20.53 (20.52)
1.625 (3.25): 19.08 (40:01)
2.5 (5.75): 27:54 (1:07:56)
5.25: (11): 1:02: 26 (2:09:23)
2.5: (13.5): 31:47 (2:41:10)
1.625: (15.125) 20:08 (3:01:18)
1.625: (16.75) 21:21 (3:22:44)
ave pace: roughly 12:00
so finally, one grrrreat long run in the books. the plan is to run an 18 miler next week, then a 20. the last week in september i'll be in carmel, so i'll probably cut back to a 10 miler. then do another 20 miler the week after that. and officially my taper will begin.
last night i was able to find my watch, but my nike plus receiver was still at large. so i made a plan to run a 3.25 mile loop from my house, continue on to run the 10.25 mile loop to the golf course, and then finish up with the 3.25 mile loop i started with. when i charted it out on gmaps pedometer, it would total roughly 16.75 miles.
before my run, i drove to the entrance of the golf course to stash 2 bottles of water. i also stashed one on my porch. i had 4 full bottles on my fuel belt but i always get nervous that i don't have enough water and there was only one place along my route to buy water and that was at safeway. and we all know how i feel about safeway! i packed 4 gus with the idea to stop and walk every 45 minutes to take one. i also planned to take 10 second walk breaks somewhere between each gu. (thanks wendy for your tip)
so off i started in the semi-darkness. the first mile kinda sucked as it included a hill, but once i found the other side, i was running pretty smoothly. i did my 3.25 loop, got back to my house and peed. while it was annoying to have to stop i felt confident that i was properly hydrated.
so off i went again. there was another small uphill portion but for the most part, the next 2.5 miles would be nice and flat. which would be good because the first half of the golf course was a long, slow climb. by the time i got there, i was not even halfway through my bottles, so i didn't have to refill. onward i trudged. up, up, up. before i knew it the worst of the hills were behind me and i could cruise the slow, descent down.
somewhere along the way i reached the halfway mark and i assessed my situation. i wasn't spent, but it also didn't feel like a walk in the park. my spirits were high, but i knew i wasn't going to just fly through the second half. but i pressed on.
i made it to the entrance of the golf course, and found my water bottles totally unfucked around with! while i'd heard of people doing this all the time, i'd never done it myself because i was always afraid someone would find my bottles and put drugs in them or something. stupid, i know. but you have those thoughts when you are raised by a paranoid, overprotective mother.
anyway, at this point, i was relieved to run a nice flat stretch of road. during this time a couple thoughts ran through my head. i tried to do the math of how far i'd run and how much longer i had and what time it was now and what time i wanted to finish , but my brain started to get really confused. then for some strange reason, i thought of where i was on 9/11. . i remember that day very, very vividly. i remember the second i heard the news and everything that happened afterward. i don't know why i started thinking about it, but i did. then my mind started to prepare for the uphill climb back up to my house, where i would reach
13.5 miles.
the idea of stopping then didn't even occur to me. i was tired, sure, but i knew i only had 3.25 miles left to go. even if i had to walk half of it, i'd still try. so up another hill i climbed and down again i went. when i got to the turn around point i was fucking spent. at that point i'd cleared about 15 miles, a valiant effort indeed. i took my final gu and a took a long walk break to figure out how i was gonna finish the last 1.6 miles. i was just sooo tired. and my legs were really starting to not like me.
but then wendy's voice said to me, "your mind is stronger than your body". she appeared out of nowhere, hovering in the air, with her arms crossed looking really stoic, looking kind of like a genie. then i heard anne's motherly voice, whispering in my ear "you can do it". she was sitting on my shoulder like one of those good angels. then i saw jen and maritza on the race course, with a big sign cheering and yelling like they were on crack. then i heard marcy, swearing and cursing at me to finish. i saw neese on the sidelines, meditating and calm, sending me good vibes. and i saw jess and bcg at the finish line with huge pitchers of cold, frosty beer in each hand. i was mentally high-fiving people left and right, amy, teacherwoman, josie, gina. what a coincidence that bobby brown's "every little step i take" came on my ipod. i felt sooo invigorated!
and it was very appropo that rihanna's "umbrella" came on as i rounded the corner to finish the last quarter mile home! i felt so much more energized at mile 16.5 than i did at 15! mind over matter, people. mind over matter.
while i couldn't take splits at every mile, i took splits at distances i knew.
split: (total distance): split time: (total time)
1.625: (1.625) 20.53 (20.52)
1.625 (3.25): 19.08 (40:01)
2.5 (5.75): 27:54 (1:07:56)
5.25: (11): 1:02: 26 (2:09:23)
2.5: (13.5): 31:47 (2:41:10)
1.625: (15.125) 20:08 (3:01:18)
1.625: (16.75) 21:21 (3:22:44)
ave pace: roughly 12:00
so finally, one grrrreat long run in the books. the plan is to run an 18 miler next week, then a 20. the last week in september i'll be in carmel, so i'll probably cut back to a 10 miler. then do another 20 miler the week after that. and officially my taper will begin.
Thursday, September 06, 2007
shuffling things around
the long run today? didn't happen. but let me explain:
1. i got home really late last night. totally unintentionally. i had dinner with a friend that just ran late.
2. this morning, i had some last minute changes to a freelance project i thought was finalized earlier this week.
3. i helped my mom with an errand on her lunch hour.
even after all of that, i thought i could still drive to sf to take advantage of the cooler temps, but by the time i got done with catching up, i realized it would just be a big hassle. so i waited for it to get cool here and ran an easy 5. no watch or nike plus. all i know is that it was breezy, cool, and FAB-U-LOUS!
i tackled a few hills using the new visualization technique i learned about earlier this week. and it worked!! i felt like there was a team of people helping me up the hill rather than the burden being solely on me! i imagined i was a car on a roller coaster ride and a chain was tied to my belly button. and as i ran, i imagined the chain getting shorter and shorter as i got closer and closer to the top. and in my head i heard the "click, click, click, click" sound rollercoasters make. i couldn't WAIT to get to the top to throw my hands up in the air and go "wheeeeeeeee" down the other side. maybe it sounds cheesy, but it TOTALLY worked!
and my long run isn't totally canceled for the week . i have friday night off and saturday morning until 3 off, so for the first time in months, i can do my long run on saturday morning like most of the world!! yippee!! it also gives me time to find my watch and nike plus receiver. how i keep misplacing those two things i'll never know.
1. i got home really late last night. totally unintentionally. i had dinner with a friend that just ran late.
2. this morning, i had some last minute changes to a freelance project i thought was finalized earlier this week.
3. i helped my mom with an errand on her lunch hour.
even after all of that, i thought i could still drive to sf to take advantage of the cooler temps, but by the time i got done with catching up, i realized it would just be a big hassle. so i waited for it to get cool here and ran an easy 5. no watch or nike plus. all i know is that it was breezy, cool, and FAB-U-LOUS!
i tackled a few hills using the new visualization technique i learned about earlier this week. and it worked!! i felt like there was a team of people helping me up the hill rather than the burden being solely on me! i imagined i was a car on a roller coaster ride and a chain was tied to my belly button. and as i ran, i imagined the chain getting shorter and shorter as i got closer and closer to the top. and in my head i heard the "click, click, click, click" sound rollercoasters make. i couldn't WAIT to get to the top to throw my hands up in the air and go "wheeeeeeeee" down the other side. maybe it sounds cheesy, but it TOTALLY worked!
and my long run isn't totally canceled for the week . i have friday night off and saturday morning until 3 off, so for the first time in months, i can do my long run on saturday morning like most of the world!! yippee!! it also gives me time to find my watch and nike plus receiver. how i keep misplacing those two things i'll never know.
Wednesday, September 05, 2007
long run eve
if you missed my new list of mantras, check out yesterday's post. you're bound to find one you can use. also feel free to add to the list!
in true comeback style, i logged an energetic 6 miler last night after work, and an hour of crosstraining this morning. i meant to get to spin class at 6 am this morning but after MH's moroccan birthday feast last night, 6 am was so not possible. (can you believe he's NEVER had moroccan food!? or seen real, live belly dancers? the hookah, though, he was very familiar with. and we got to try a new flavor: orange blossom) i managed to get out on the stationary bike at 10 am to eke out 10 miles on the alpine setting. then i went another mile on the tread climber. i'm hoping i can squeeze in yoga class between my errands tonight.
i've got a TON of errands that need to be done in the next two days PLUS my long run (of an undetermined length. i'm shooting for anywhere between 12-16 miles.) long run preparation can take so long sometimes, especially since i have to do laundry (can't run without the fave gear) and if i do drive into the city (either tonight or tomorrow am) i've got to pack all my nutrition essentials, dry clothes etc. etc. etc. plus i've got stock up on more gels. i've also decided to give shot blox another try. i'll have to compare sodium and caffeine contents closely at the store.
so enough blogging, got to get moving! happy hump day, peeps! oh and here are a few pics from last night. i wanted a shot of the belly dancer but i felt skeevy about taking pictures of her while she was dancing. there already was this nasty man totally entranced and drooling throwing his money at her. besides him, there was a family of about 6 and a whole group of what i assume were college students, holed up in a large corner booth, enjoying about 3 hookahs. but the food was a-mazing. and any meal ending with baklava and mint tea is alright by me!
in true comeback style, i logged an energetic 6 miler last night after work, and an hour of crosstraining this morning. i meant to get to spin class at 6 am this morning but after MH's moroccan birthday feast last night, 6 am was so not possible. (can you believe he's NEVER had moroccan food!? or seen real, live belly dancers? the hookah, though, he was very familiar with. and we got to try a new flavor: orange blossom) i managed to get out on the stationary bike at 10 am to eke out 10 miles on the alpine setting. then i went another mile on the tread climber. i'm hoping i can squeeze in yoga class between my errands tonight.
i've got a TON of errands that need to be done in the next two days PLUS my long run (of an undetermined length. i'm shooting for anywhere between 12-16 miles.) long run preparation can take so long sometimes, especially since i have to do laundry (can't run without the fave gear) and if i do drive into the city (either tonight or tomorrow am) i've got to pack all my nutrition essentials, dry clothes etc. etc. etc. plus i've got stock up on more gels. i've also decided to give shot blox another try. i'll have to compare sodium and caffeine contents closely at the store.
so enough blogging, got to get moving! happy hump day, peeps! oh and here are a few pics from last night. i wanted a shot of the belly dancer but i felt skeevy about taking pictures of her while she was dancing. there already was this nasty man totally entranced and drooling throwing his money at her. besides him, there was a family of about 6 and a whole group of what i assume were college students, holed up in a large corner booth, enjoying about 3 hookahs. but the food was a-mazing. and any meal ending with baklava and mint tea is alright by me!
Tuesday, September 04, 2007
f*ck you marathon! you're my bitch, now!
lately, i've been feeling pretty unmotivated about a lot of things in my life. and that who-the fuck-cares attitude has trickled into my running.
i've decided that enough is enough.
if i'm gonna turn things around, i'm gonna start with the one thing i've always had control over; my running and my attitude. because dammit, no matter what i've said in the past, or how i've acted, i really do fucking want this marathon. i just didn't want to be that jackass newbie who after a month of not really training thought they could just waltz in at the 11th hour and pull it out of her ass.
but even so, i decided that i am not going down without a fight. even if by some freak force of nature the marathon isn't mine come race day, it won't be because i quit. my legs will have to physically fall off. my heart will have to beat out of my chest. and my lungs will have to collapse. but it won't be because i quit! if i can stand, i can run. and i will. i have 46 days to fucking prove myself. and i will.
i didn't come THIS far to quit now. i didn't run my mouth to everyone and their mother about it to just quit. i don't feel shame a lot in my life, but man would i feel it if i quit. especially if i didn't even give myself the chance to try!!!!!!
i scoured the internet for running mantras. here are some good ones that i think will help me:
• it’s worth it.
• aren’t we runners the lucky and the blessed!?
• it’s harder when you think, so just run!
• i am never down. i am either up, or getting up.
• FUCK YOU, stupid hill! You’re my bitch, now! ( i really like this one!)
• The night is dark
The night is long
Be with me God
And make me strong.
• it does not matter how slowly you go so long as you do not stop. - Confucius
• screw it, run through it.
• it feels good to show some courage. - Joe Namath
• every mile is the marathon.
• keep running you’ll feel better after, trust me
• tough times don’t last, tough people do.
• failure is not an option.
• SMILE!
• i am a warrior!
• it hurts up to a point and then it doesn’t get any worse. - Ann Trason
• if oprah can, i can,
There’s now way out but up.
• I read a trick for hills. They said to imagine that there is a rope dangling down the hill which your can hook onto, and “they” will tow you up the hill. Now when I get to a hill, I think “Thank heavens it’s a hill. I can rest while they haul my buns up.”
• this is not a dress rehearsal. this is IT.”
• some people run to get in shape......we get in shape to run!
• don’t fear moving slowly forward...fear standing still.” - Kathleen Harris
• pain is nothing compared to what it feels like to quit.
• losers look what they are going through. winners look where they are going to.
• action cures fear.
• at some point it doesn’t get any worse.
• it’s supposed to be hard. this feels good!
• heaven is under our feet as well as over our heads – David Thoreau
• the only way to be who you want to be is by being what you haven’t yet been.
- Sally Edwards
• i am my own hero.
i've decided that enough is enough.
if i'm gonna turn things around, i'm gonna start with the one thing i've always had control over; my running and my attitude. because dammit, no matter what i've said in the past, or how i've acted, i really do fucking want this marathon. i just didn't want to be that jackass newbie who after a month of not really training thought they could just waltz in at the 11th hour and pull it out of her ass.
but even so, i decided that i am not going down without a fight. even if by some freak force of nature the marathon isn't mine come race day, it won't be because i quit. my legs will have to physically fall off. my heart will have to beat out of my chest. and my lungs will have to collapse. but it won't be because i quit! if i can stand, i can run. and i will. i have 46 days to fucking prove myself. and i will.
i didn't come THIS far to quit now. i didn't run my mouth to everyone and their mother about it to just quit. i don't feel shame a lot in my life, but man would i feel it if i quit. especially if i didn't even give myself the chance to try!!!!!!
i scoured the internet for running mantras. here are some good ones that i think will help me:
• it’s worth it.
• aren’t we runners the lucky and the blessed!?
• it’s harder when you think, so just run!
• i am never down. i am either up, or getting up.
• FUCK YOU, stupid hill! You’re my bitch, now! ( i really like this one!)
• The night is dark
The night is long
Be with me God
And make me strong.
• it does not matter how slowly you go so long as you do not stop. - Confucius
• screw it, run through it.
• it feels good to show some courage. - Joe Namath
• every mile is the marathon.
• keep running you’ll feel better after, trust me
• tough times don’t last, tough people do.
• failure is not an option.
• SMILE!
• i am a warrior!
• it hurts up to a point and then it doesn’t get any worse. - Ann Trason
• if oprah can, i can,
There’s now way out but up.
• I read a trick for hills. They said to imagine that there is a rope dangling down the hill which your can hook onto, and “they” will tow you up the hill. Now when I get to a hill, I think “Thank heavens it’s a hill. I can rest while they haul my buns up.”
• this is not a dress rehearsal. this is IT.”
• some people run to get in shape......we get in shape to run!
• don’t fear moving slowly forward...fear standing still.” - Kathleen Harris
• pain is nothing compared to what it feels like to quit.
• losers look what they are going through. winners look where they are going to.
• action cures fear.
• at some point it doesn’t get any worse.
• it’s supposed to be hard. this feels good!
• heaven is under our feet as well as over our heads – David Thoreau
• the only way to be who you want to be is by being what you haven’t yet been.
- Sally Edwards
• i am my own hero.
Monday, September 03, 2007
back among the living
and running...
i was feeling like utter crap up until yesterday, with saturday night being the worst. my fever had returned and my head felt like it was going to explode. after an evening with ice packs on my head and neck, i decided to finally call in sick at work and spend sunday recooperating. best. decision. ever.
i now feel like a practically normal person. FINALLY, after friggin 2 weeks.
so before the butt crack of dawn (4:15!) i woke up to get my arse to the gym. i managed to eke out a mere 2.5 miles before i had to pack it in to go to work. the plans are to run 5-6 tomorrow am, spin wed am, and attempt a long run on thursday. i'm banking on 10, hoping for 12, working for 14. friday it's yoga and saturday calls for an easy 5.
i'm quite scared as to whether my body is ready for this marathon, considering that the month of august has been almost a total wash. the schedule is supposed to go:
this week: cutback
next week: 18 miler
next week: cutback
last week of september: 20 miler
then begin 3 week and 2 day taper
god, i'm royally fucked, aren't i? shit!
any advice or suggestions? i know i can't "cram" in the miles at the last minute, but it still is possible, isn't it?!
i was feeling like utter crap up until yesterday, with saturday night being the worst. my fever had returned and my head felt like it was going to explode. after an evening with ice packs on my head and neck, i decided to finally call in sick at work and spend sunday recooperating. best. decision. ever.
i now feel like a practically normal person. FINALLY, after friggin 2 weeks.
so before the butt crack of dawn (4:15!) i woke up to get my arse to the gym. i managed to eke out a mere 2.5 miles before i had to pack it in to go to work. the plans are to run 5-6 tomorrow am, spin wed am, and attempt a long run on thursday. i'm banking on 10, hoping for 12, working for 14. friday it's yoga and saturday calls for an easy 5.
i'm quite scared as to whether my body is ready for this marathon, considering that the month of august has been almost a total wash. the schedule is supposed to go:
this week: cutback
next week: 18 miler
next week: cutback
last week of september: 20 miler
then begin 3 week and 2 day taper
god, i'm royally fucked, aren't i? shit!
any advice or suggestions? i know i can't "cram" in the miles at the last minute, but it still is possible, isn't it?!
Saturday, September 01, 2007
glad my credit card is tucked safely away
this comes as a poster as large as 16" x 20".
there must be a better way to cure my insomnia other than googling eric bana.
Friday, August 31, 2007
i ask myself why?
yesterday, when i was trying to motivate myself to run, i asked myself the question: why are you running this marathon?
and i kinda came up blank.
i mean i have plenty of reasons why i RUN, but why i want to run a marathon? hmmmm...
i'm not running for charity. i'm not running with anyone or for anyone. i didn't just overcome some huge hardship, and i didn't just reach a new decade in my life.
the only thing i got was, i just do. it's just something i've always wanted to do. maybe just for the bragging rights. maybe just because it's hard and i just want to conquer it. and that all sounded kinda juvenile! like my life isn't hard enough that i have to add this "diversion" to make it interesting. and when i thought of it like that, it sounded kinda frivolous. petty. selfish, even.
i mean i guess we all kinda know running is a selfish endeavor. and for normal people, with families and lots of responsibilities i can see how the outlet for "me" time is warranted. but for the most part, i'm pretty much a spoiled brat. so why do i need the "excuse" to run?
i'm not quite sure where this is all coming from all of a sudden. all i know is i came up blank when i asked myself why i'm running this thing. except for that i just want to. which makes it sound like i want this like i want ice cream. or new shoes. i thought for sure training for this marathon would enlighten me about myself and life more. and i guess i'm feeling just as clueless about things now as i did in the beginning.
oy! it sounds as if i need to get out of my head and into reality! i guess i'll hit publish now, and reread it later to see if i really should just take it down. i sound totally mental.
and i kinda came up blank.
i mean i have plenty of reasons why i RUN, but why i want to run a marathon? hmmmm...
i'm not running for charity. i'm not running with anyone or for anyone. i didn't just overcome some huge hardship, and i didn't just reach a new decade in my life.
the only thing i got was, i just do. it's just something i've always wanted to do. maybe just for the bragging rights. maybe just because it's hard and i just want to conquer it. and that all sounded kinda juvenile! like my life isn't hard enough that i have to add this "diversion" to make it interesting. and when i thought of it like that, it sounded kinda frivolous. petty. selfish, even.
i mean i guess we all kinda know running is a selfish endeavor. and for normal people, with families and lots of responsibilities i can see how the outlet for "me" time is warranted. but for the most part, i'm pretty much a spoiled brat. so why do i need the "excuse" to run?
i'm not quite sure where this is all coming from all of a sudden. all i know is i came up blank when i asked myself why i'm running this thing. except for that i just want to. which makes it sound like i want this like i want ice cream. or new shoes. i thought for sure training for this marathon would enlighten me about myself and life more. and i guess i'm feeling just as clueless about things now as i did in the beginning.
oy! it sounds as if i need to get out of my head and into reality! i guess i'll hit publish now, and reread it later to see if i really should just take it down. i sound totally mental.
Thursday, August 30, 2007
i tried, really i did.
i got up at 4:30 to start getting ready for my 6 am, 16 miler. i certainly wasn't in the mood, but damnit i haven't missed a long run yet and i wasn't about to start now when it counted the most.
but once i got out there, i just blech, didn't have it. i've run through a sinus infection before (my first half marathon to be exact) but i remember it being pretty miserable. and after 2 miles, i wasn't feeling so hot and i figured it would just be best to pack it up and go home.
i've been feeling pretty crappy the past 10 days, minus the day of my 5k, and don't know whether it's because i'm sick or because my head is in the crapper. probably a combo of both. so on the drive home i resolved to not let this get me down and do whatever it took today to make me feel good.
which so far has included taking a long, hot shower and shaving! i've made up a pretty face and donned a dress i bought a month ago but haven't yet worn because i haven't had the occasion. the plans also include a pedicure, a waxing, a haircut, a nice healthy lunch alone with a long way down by nick hornby. by then, i should be ready for a nap. or a movie.
happy thursday, peeps!
but once i got out there, i just blech, didn't have it. i've run through a sinus infection before (my first half marathon to be exact) but i remember it being pretty miserable. and after 2 miles, i wasn't feeling so hot and i figured it would just be best to pack it up and go home.
i've been feeling pretty crappy the past 10 days, minus the day of my 5k, and don't know whether it's because i'm sick or because my head is in the crapper. probably a combo of both. so on the drive home i resolved to not let this get me down and do whatever it took today to make me feel good.
which so far has included taking a long, hot shower and shaving! i've made up a pretty face and donned a dress i bought a month ago but haven't yet worn because i haven't had the occasion. the plans also include a pedicure, a waxing, a haircut, a nice healthy lunch alone with a long way down by nick hornby. by then, i should be ready for a nap. or a movie.
happy thursday, peeps!
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
feeling better and feeling bad
feeling better: thanks to everyone's comments to my last post! i knew that once i posted my fears, not only would i feel better just getting them off my chest, but that everyone with much more wisdom and experience than me would help me put things into perspective. i'm taking everyone's advice: have fun and just enjoy the experience. i mean i will never again have a FIRST marathon!!! yippeeeeee!
feeling bad: my mucous issues have turned into a full fledged sinus infection. blech. i hate those goddamned things. i'm currently on antibiotics. i haven't run since my 5k on friday (where i PRed, thank you very much) but i can't bear to bag my 16 miler tomorrow. the plan is to start it and if i feel like utter poop, i'll stop.
feeling bad: i finally, officially broke things off with MH last night. (and you're probably thinking, wait, what was all that talk before about not getting involved with him? yeah, well i'm human and in my whole course of dating i've not been one to fend off the advances of a latin lover very well) so breaking things off a few months later definitely made it harder than if i had stopped things cold to begin with. and i think i was a little too honest with my reasons for why i don't think he's the one for me. when i got home i was like fuck, why am i so stupidly honest? i think i could have spared him hurt feelings. i wasn't trying to be cruel, just honest, but sometimes i have to remember it might be better to just be kind.
feeling bad: my mucous issues have turned into a full fledged sinus infection. blech. i hate those goddamned things. i'm currently on antibiotics. i haven't run since my 5k on friday (where i PRed, thank you very much) but i can't bear to bag my 16 miler tomorrow. the plan is to start it and if i feel like utter poop, i'll stop.
feeling bad: i finally, officially broke things off with MH last night. (and you're probably thinking, wait, what was all that talk before about not getting involved with him? yeah, well i'm human and in my whole course of dating i've not been one to fend off the advances of a latin lover very well) so breaking things off a few months later definitely made it harder than if i had stopped things cold to begin with. and i think i was a little too honest with my reasons for why i don't think he's the one for me. when i got home i was like fuck, why am i so stupidly honest? i think i could have spared him hurt feelings. i wasn't trying to be cruel, just honest, but sometimes i have to remember it might be better to just be kind.
Sunday, August 26, 2007
my irrational fears
ok so it's almost september! and after that it's october! which is the month i'm running my first marathon ever! i mean i like signed up for it many many many months ago. i've been dreaming about doing this for years now. and the closer the day comes i get a little more anxious. it's weird. it's almost like i don't want it to happen because there's something exciting about just having the dream. i'm sorta kinda afraid of what the reality of it will do to the fantasy of it. and i kind of like saying i'm gonna do a marathon. the idea of actually really doing it, still scares the crap out of me.
i still have my 16, 18 and 20 mile training runs to get through, so without having done those i can't really fear whether or not i will finish. my confidence come race day will depend heavily on how those training runs go. but part of me also wonders how in the world is doing one 20 mile training run enough to prepare me for 26.2!!! that's a whole 10k longer than my longest training run?! and isn't 20 miles where people hit "the wall"?! who the hell thought up my stupid training schedule and thought it was gonna be enough!?
so far in all of my long runs, i've never had to use the bathroom. #1 or #2. but i'm afraid my bowels will decide to go into overdrive come race day. or i'll be all hopped up on hormones from my period that i'll be bloated, cranky, and tired. during training i usually give myself a break during that time of the month but what if marathon day just happens to fall during that time of the month!?! ugh. i'm no longer on birth control so messing around with my cycle is out of the question, but the guilty catholic in me fears god's wrath for having used it in the past. not so much for the pre-marital sex mind you, but the use of artificial birth control. and if that whole paragraph was t.m.i., sorry.
another fear i have is that i'll run out of bodyglide. that my legs will chafe down to the bone. i mean really, can bodyglide really last an entire 5 plus hour marathon?? and not only run out of body glide but can my body really handle running on gu for 5 plus hours?! i've run for 3 hours on gu and done fine, but can i last for nearly double that time on just gu alone?
i really want to enjoy this experience, but part of me just wishes this was over with already. i'd like to resume a normal life where i don't have to worry about stuff like this!
i still have my 16, 18 and 20 mile training runs to get through, so without having done those i can't really fear whether or not i will finish. my confidence come race day will depend heavily on how those training runs go. but part of me also wonders how in the world is doing one 20 mile training run enough to prepare me for 26.2!!! that's a whole 10k longer than my longest training run?! and isn't 20 miles where people hit "the wall"?! who the hell thought up my stupid training schedule and thought it was gonna be enough!?
so far in all of my long runs, i've never had to use the bathroom. #1 or #2. but i'm afraid my bowels will decide to go into overdrive come race day. or i'll be all hopped up on hormones from my period that i'll be bloated, cranky, and tired. during training i usually give myself a break during that time of the month but what if marathon day just happens to fall during that time of the month!?! ugh. i'm no longer on birth control so messing around with my cycle is out of the question, but the guilty catholic in me fears god's wrath for having used it in the past. not so much for the pre-marital sex mind you, but the use of artificial birth control. and if that whole paragraph was t.m.i., sorry.
another fear i have is that i'll run out of bodyglide. that my legs will chafe down to the bone. i mean really, can bodyglide really last an entire 5 plus hour marathon?? and not only run out of body glide but can my body really handle running on gu for 5 plus hours?! i've run for 3 hours on gu and done fine, but can i last for nearly double that time on just gu alone?
i really want to enjoy this experience, but part of me just wishes this was over with already. i'd like to resume a normal life where i don't have to worry about stuff like this!
Friday, August 24, 2007
race report: surprise! surprise!
ever since my last 5k time of 31:10, a PR, i might add, i've been itching to see if i have what it takes to run it in 30. but ever since i started working at the hotel, races were pretty much out of the question because i work in the mornings on the weekends. so i was stoaked to find one on a friday night in sacramento!
but with temps in the high 80s and tons of sun, the weather was much more suited for the beach than a race. nonetheless, i was still excited to be among my brethren runners. i wish i could bottle the adrenaline and excitement of race day! being surrounded by so many runners just makes me swell with pride. like i'm part of this great big "something". cheesy, i know, but it's the truth.
my goals for the race were to #1. not die in the heat (i'm so not accustomed to it) #2 definitely pull it off in 33 and #3. aim for 31, with wild hopes of doing it in 30. i sat in the my air conditioned car for as long as i could. i decided to pin my number on my belly instead of over my chest. and i tied my timing chip to my left sneaker, rather than my right. it's odd because i'm very superstitious but something told me to do it this way, instead of my normal way.
i made sure to hydrate like a mo'fo' all day yesterday and today. so i peed like 3 times in the hour and a half before the race. but once i started i swear to bob, my throat felt sooooo dry! i chalked it up to mucous issues, as i'm not fully well yet. i tried to not let it distract me. i knew there was a water stop somewhere along the course, so i just kept imagining i was in an ice castle with pools of ice cold water everywhere.
the first mile was tough. i made sure not to line myself too far back with the walkers like i did last time. but maybe i was too far up because i ran the first mile in 9:24!! what is it with me running sub 10:00 miles lately?! i was definitely feeling it, so i told myself to back off just a bit. my mouth was still parched and i had no idea where this blissful waterstop would be. at the halfway point, i finally spotted it and slowed to a walk to gulp down some agua. i was breathing hard and very very hot. i imagined i must be red at this point, which for someone as brown as me, means it's hot! but i just told myself, "it's supposed to feel uncomfortable. it's supposed to feel this way. this feels good!"
i chugged along to mile 2: 10:00. at this point, i'm doin 'the math and i know i have to run the next 1.12 miles in a little over 10 min. i'm seriously doubting i can. i'm hot! i'm breathing really hard! and did i mention i'm hot!!? but i pressed on. whenever i felt like stopping to walk, i said, "just keep running, pull back if you have to, but just run" and whenever i felt hot, i'd just repeat my mantra, "this feels good!" i probably repeated those three words like 100 times in the last mile, while i wondered just how much further i had!! my brain was racing just as fast as my feet were! finally i saw the 3 mile marker! i glanced at my watch: 9:59, overall time: 29:24:37.
HOLY SHIT! i just might fucking finish this 5k in 30 minutes! all thoughts flew out of my head and i just gunned it finishing in 30:12:28!!!!
ok so technically it's not a SUB-30, but i'll still take it! especially on a hot day like today. especially when i haven't even been training specifically for speed. i crossed that finish line and felt like a total bad ass!!!! i totally surprised myself. and that's what i love about running. it reveals to me just how much i underestimate myself and just how much i really am capable of. today wasn't so much a physical victory as it was a mental one. with the power of positive thoughts, i was able to trick my hot, uncomfortable, body into crossing that finish line faster than i ever have.
this feeling right now is one i'll definitely carry with me on marathon race day!
but with temps in the high 80s and tons of sun, the weather was much more suited for the beach than a race. nonetheless, i was still excited to be among my brethren runners. i wish i could bottle the adrenaline and excitement of race day! being surrounded by so many runners just makes me swell with pride. like i'm part of this great big "something". cheesy, i know, but it's the truth.
my goals for the race were to #1. not die in the heat (i'm so not accustomed to it) #2 definitely pull it off in 33 and #3. aim for 31, with wild hopes of doing it in 30. i sat in the my air conditioned car for as long as i could. i decided to pin my number on my belly instead of over my chest. and i tied my timing chip to my left sneaker, rather than my right. it's odd because i'm very superstitious but something told me to do it this way, instead of my normal way.
i made sure to hydrate like a mo'fo' all day yesterday and today. so i peed like 3 times in the hour and a half before the race. but once i started i swear to bob, my throat felt sooooo dry! i chalked it up to mucous issues, as i'm not fully well yet. i tried to not let it distract me. i knew there was a water stop somewhere along the course, so i just kept imagining i was in an ice castle with pools of ice cold water everywhere.
the first mile was tough. i made sure not to line myself too far back with the walkers like i did last time. but maybe i was too far up because i ran the first mile in 9:24!! what is it with me running sub 10:00 miles lately?! i was definitely feeling it, so i told myself to back off just a bit. my mouth was still parched and i had no idea where this blissful waterstop would be. at the halfway point, i finally spotted it and slowed to a walk to gulp down some agua. i was breathing hard and very very hot. i imagined i must be red at this point, which for someone as brown as me, means it's hot! but i just told myself, "it's supposed to feel uncomfortable. it's supposed to feel this way. this feels good!"
i chugged along to mile 2: 10:00. at this point, i'm doin 'the math and i know i have to run the next 1.12 miles in a little over 10 min. i'm seriously doubting i can. i'm hot! i'm breathing really hard! and did i mention i'm hot!!? but i pressed on. whenever i felt like stopping to walk, i said, "just keep running, pull back if you have to, but just run" and whenever i felt hot, i'd just repeat my mantra, "this feels good!" i probably repeated those three words like 100 times in the last mile, while i wondered just how much further i had!! my brain was racing just as fast as my feet were! finally i saw the 3 mile marker! i glanced at my watch: 9:59, overall time: 29:24:37.
HOLY SHIT! i just might fucking finish this 5k in 30 minutes! all thoughts flew out of my head and i just gunned it finishing in 30:12:28!!!!
ok so technically it's not a SUB-30, but i'll still take it! especially on a hot day like today. especially when i haven't even been training specifically for speed. i crossed that finish line and felt like a total bad ass!!!! i totally surprised myself. and that's what i love about running. it reveals to me just how much i underestimate myself and just how much i really am capable of. today wasn't so much a physical victory as it was a mental one. with the power of positive thoughts, i was able to trick my hot, uncomfortable, body into crossing that finish line faster than i ever have.
this feeling right now is one i'll definitely carry with me on marathon race day!
Thursday, August 23, 2007
back in the saddle
by bedtime last night i was feeling muuuuuuuuch better. i can breathe freely and the icky feeling is gone. all that's left is one final ball of mucus that keeps bouncing between my sinuses and throat. i really, really, really wish i had loogie-hawking abilities.
so this morning, feeling much more like myself, i mounted the spin bike and got to work. the instructor uttered the word "intense" and i braced myself. his technique was different than my usual spin instructor: less talking, less cuing, but more reminders about form, and better music. he also kept saying things like "push it! push it real good" and "aloha!" and "up your resistance, please. thank you, thank you very much". it was like spinning with elvis.
he also turned off the lights, so at 6 am it was pretty dark. but by the end of class, light started streaming in through the windows and i caught a glimpse of myself. and was actually kind of pleased. glistening sweat on any body looks pretty good in the semi-darkness.
i might get a run in with MH this morning, if he gets his butt up at a decent hour. as of late, he's been my slacking off partner, instead of workout partner, but damnit if i'm not gonna try to get us both back on track again.
so this morning, feeling much more like myself, i mounted the spin bike and got to work. the instructor uttered the word "intense" and i braced myself. his technique was different than my usual spin instructor: less talking, less cuing, but more reminders about form, and better music. he also kept saying things like "push it! push it real good" and "aloha!" and "up your resistance, please. thank you, thank you very much". it was like spinning with elvis.
he also turned off the lights, so at 6 am it was pretty dark. but by the end of class, light started streaming in through the windows and i caught a glimpse of myself. and was actually kind of pleased. glistening sweat on any body looks pretty good in the semi-darkness.
i might get a run in with MH this morning, if he gets his butt up at a decent hour. as of late, he's been my slacking off partner, instead of workout partner, but damnit if i'm not gonna try to get us both back on track again.
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
hey! who fart-leked?
i confess. it was me.
this morning when i woke up, i was definitely feeling better. not stellar, but better. i could actually breathe through one nostril and the congestion in my chest felt much looser. i figured since i was well hydrated and nourished, (i've been drinking honey laced hot water like it's my job and eating lots of homemade soup) i'd take a stab at a "long run". on the treadmill, just in case i needed to stop in a hurry.
the schedule had me down for 8, but i went into the gym happy to log at least one mile. so i took the first mile, nice and easy: 13:45. i felt pretty good at that point and when kanye west's stronger played i pushed it a little further: 12:29, 11:06. i took a walk break then ricky martin's cup of life came on and i turned up the heat: 10:53 and finished strong with kid rock's bawitdaba: 9:24.
so it wasn't a long run, but it still felt good to push my legs and lungs. i slowed when i felt like it, and kicked it up when the tunes got good. and i had to snot into my towel only 3 times the entire time! don't worry i gave the treadmill a good cleaning when i was done!
i'm resuming meds, and my regular get-well regimen hoping that friday can be a healthy, fun, fast day.
this morning when i woke up, i was definitely feeling better. not stellar, but better. i could actually breathe through one nostril and the congestion in my chest felt much looser. i figured since i was well hydrated and nourished, (i've been drinking honey laced hot water like it's my job and eating lots of homemade soup) i'd take a stab at a "long run". on the treadmill, just in case i needed to stop in a hurry.
the schedule had me down for 8, but i went into the gym happy to log at least one mile. so i took the first mile, nice and easy: 13:45. i felt pretty good at that point and when kanye west's stronger played i pushed it a little further: 12:29, 11:06. i took a walk break then ricky martin's cup of life came on and i turned up the heat: 10:53 and finished strong with kid rock's bawitdaba: 9:24.
so it wasn't a long run, but it still felt good to push my legs and lungs. i slowed when i felt like it, and kicked it up when the tunes got good. and i had to snot into my towel only 3 times the entire time! don't worry i gave the treadmill a good cleaning when i was done!
i'm resuming meds, and my regular get-well regimen hoping that friday can be a healthy, fun, fast day.
Tuesday, August 21, 2007
poop, poop, poop
that is how i feel.
and i signed up for a 5k this friday night. looks like a PR is out of the question. hopefully by the end of the week i'll be able to breathe. without coughing. and snot dripping.
let's hope this is the last time i get sick before oct 21. because that countdown in my sidebar is ticking away pretty quickly! 2 months exactly! holy shiz!
and i signed up for a 5k this friday night. looks like a PR is out of the question. hopefully by the end of the week i'll be able to breathe. without coughing. and snot dripping.
let's hope this is the last time i get sick before oct 21. because that countdown in my sidebar is ticking away pretty quickly! 2 months exactly! holy shiz!
Friday, August 17, 2007
2 memes in 1
i think i contracted ebola on the bus, because since then i've felt like poop. the muscle soreness went away in a day, but some bug has my throat scratchy, my nose drippy with snot, and i'm draggin' ass i'm so tired. so...with no new workouts to log, here are my answers to 2 memes that have been floating around:
Jobs I've Held:
courtesy clerk at safeway
hostess/waitress/bartender
resident assistant
desk receptionist in my dorm
graphic designer
Movies I can watch over and over:
about a boy
bring it on
princess diaries
home alone
shawshank redemption
My guilty pleasures:
how can you have pleasure with guilt?!
Places I have lived:
northern california
washington, d.c.
bethesda, md
Shows I enjoy:
project runway
american idol
so you think you can dance
house
good eats on food network
almost everything on tlc
workout on bravo
Places I've been on vacation:
nearly everywhere in california
lake tahoe
las vegas
houston, tx
new orleans, la for mardi gras
nyc
upstate new york
boston, ma for st.patty's day
miami, fl
myrtle beach
the caribbean
hawaii
Favorite Foods:
homemade filipino food, especially luscious pork fat
any homemade authentic cuisine
greek food
steak
barbecue
ahi tuna steaks
dungeness crab
watermelon, white peaches, cold, cold grapes, lychees, mangoes
kettle cooked potato chips
beer
Websites I visit daily:
go fug yourself
dooce
gmail
your blog
Body parts I've injured:
my newly bruised toe
i broke my left arm falling off the monkey bars in second grade right before our trip to hawaii.
i had many mishaps with the exacto knife in design classes in college and took big chunks of flesh out of my fingers. no blood, just chunks of flesh.
Awards I've won:
i graduated second in my high school class, graduated summa cum laude from college, and won a second place tae kwon do trophy in college. i guess i'm only good enough for second place!
i think i won "best hair" in junior high. does that count for anything?
Nicknames I've been called:
i used to get called by my last name a lot. but other than that, i don't like nicknames. but i like giving them to OTHER people. HA!
--------------------------------
How many teeth do you have?
i don't know, how can you count them? all but my wisdom teeth.
Have you ever had braces?
ugh yes. my brothers on the other hand had perfect straight teeth without any help!
Name and tell us a bit about a pet you had as a child.
we had two little birds when i was really young, pixie and dixie. so when you use one of their names and the street i lived on as a kid to get my porn name you get pixie rose.
Where were you born?
redwood city, ca
How many siblings do you have?
2 younger brothers, one a year younger, the other 5 years younger than me
What was your high school's mascot?
an indian. i know, so wrong.
What was your favorite Halloween costume (either childhood or adulthood)?
one year in college my bff and i went to the thrift store and bought white lacy dresses, handcuffed ourselves to each other and went as lesbian brides. that went over very well at parties.
What's your favorite smell?
babies, post-it notes, scotch tape, new computer smell, new car smell
What accomplishment are you most proud of?
i'm proud that i've stopped trying to live up to other people's expectations. i am so much more comfortable being me nowadays.
Do you put the TP on the roll so that it feeds from the bottom or the top?
however it goes on, but usually i just plunk it on the tank.
Have you ever broken anything?
my car has been dented several times in the 4 years i've owned it. i have issues parking.
If you could travel anywhere, and the budget was not a factor, where would you go?
everywhere: greece, costa rica, all of europe, australia, the Philippines. you said budget wasn't a factor.
What is your dream job?
to be a perpetual student. or to get paid to travel and eat food.
What is your most embarrassing moment?
i tend not to get embarrassed easily. i have no shame. or i shun such moments from my memory so i don't have to think about them ever again.
What is your worst fear?
being alone.
i'm afraid of what life will be like without my parents or my aunts and uncles.
i used to be afraid of ghosts until 5 years ago when the ghost of my grandpa visited me the morning he died. now i feel like he's protecting me.
What year did you graduate high school?
1996
What was one of your new year's resolutions for 2007?
to run a marathon
There you go. You guys know the drill: You are ALL tagged! Copy the text, paste it into your post, and answer the questions with your own, original tidbits of interesting info, and pass it on if you so desire. Happy meme-ing!
Jobs I've Held:
courtesy clerk at safeway
hostess/waitress/bartender
resident assistant
desk receptionist in my dorm
graphic designer
Movies I can watch over and over:
about a boy
bring it on
princess diaries
home alone
shawshank redemption
My guilty pleasures:
how can you have pleasure with guilt?!
Places I have lived:
northern california
washington, d.c.
bethesda, md
Shows I enjoy:
project runway
american idol
so you think you can dance
house
good eats on food network
almost everything on tlc
workout on bravo
Places I've been on vacation:
nearly everywhere in california
lake tahoe
las vegas
houston, tx
new orleans, la for mardi gras
nyc
upstate new york
boston, ma for st.patty's day
miami, fl
myrtle beach
the caribbean
hawaii
Favorite Foods:
homemade filipino food, especially luscious pork fat
any homemade authentic cuisine
greek food
steak
barbecue
ahi tuna steaks
dungeness crab
watermelon, white peaches, cold, cold grapes, lychees, mangoes
kettle cooked potato chips
beer
Websites I visit daily:
go fug yourself
dooce
gmail
your blog
Body parts I've injured:
my newly bruised toe
i broke my left arm falling off the monkey bars in second grade right before our trip to hawaii.
i had many mishaps with the exacto knife in design classes in college and took big chunks of flesh out of my fingers. no blood, just chunks of flesh.
Awards I've won:
i graduated second in my high school class, graduated summa cum laude from college, and won a second place tae kwon do trophy in college. i guess i'm only good enough for second place!
i think i won "best hair" in junior high. does that count for anything?
Nicknames I've been called:
i used to get called by my last name a lot. but other than that, i don't like nicknames. but i like giving them to OTHER people. HA!
--------------------------------
How many teeth do you have?
i don't know, how can you count them? all but my wisdom teeth.
Have you ever had braces?
ugh yes. my brothers on the other hand had perfect straight teeth without any help!
Name and tell us a bit about a pet you had as a child.
we had two little birds when i was really young, pixie and dixie. so when you use one of their names and the street i lived on as a kid to get my porn name you get pixie rose.
Where were you born?
redwood city, ca
How many siblings do you have?
2 younger brothers, one a year younger, the other 5 years younger than me
What was your high school's mascot?
an indian. i know, so wrong.
What was your favorite Halloween costume (either childhood or adulthood)?
one year in college my bff and i went to the thrift store and bought white lacy dresses, handcuffed ourselves to each other and went as lesbian brides. that went over very well at parties.
What's your favorite smell?
babies, post-it notes, scotch tape, new computer smell, new car smell
What accomplishment are you most proud of?
i'm proud that i've stopped trying to live up to other people's expectations. i am so much more comfortable being me nowadays.
Do you put the TP on the roll so that it feeds from the bottom or the top?
however it goes on, but usually i just plunk it on the tank.
Have you ever broken anything?
my car has been dented several times in the 4 years i've owned it. i have issues parking.
If you could travel anywhere, and the budget was not a factor, where would you go?
everywhere: greece, costa rica, all of europe, australia, the Philippines. you said budget wasn't a factor.
What is your dream job?
to be a perpetual student. or to get paid to travel and eat food.
What is your most embarrassing moment?
i tend not to get embarrassed easily. i have no shame. or i shun such moments from my memory so i don't have to think about them ever again.
What is your worst fear?
being alone.
i'm afraid of what life will be like without my parents or my aunts and uncles.
i used to be afraid of ghosts until 5 years ago when the ghost of my grandpa visited me the morning he died. now i feel like he's protecting me.
What year did you graduate high school?
1996
What was one of your new year's resolutions for 2007?
to run a marathon
There you go. You guys know the drill: You are ALL tagged! Copy the text, paste it into your post, and answer the questions with your own, original tidbits of interesting info, and pass it on if you so desire. Happy meme-ing!
Thursday, August 16, 2007
a rude awakening
hey, did you know that san francisco has a lot of hills?
yeah, so did i.
but i severely underestimated just how hilly those hills actually are. which makes for a very craptastic 14 mile run. which could potentially make for a craptastic marathon. *sigh*
the one good thing about san francisco is that the weather is almost always runner friendly. which meant i could wait until after rush hour traffic to make the trek to the city. i packed my bags, a cooler filled with post workout nourishment and made the hour drive to union square. i parked in a garage and started donning my running gear when i realized that i had forgotten my headphones!!! argh! there was no way i was gonna go 14 miles with no tunes or cues from my nike+. luckily niketown was right there. though i had to go into the store totally geeked out in my nike visor, nike sunglasses, and nike tank, in full running gear complete with my hydration belt. then i plunked down $30 for overpriced nike headphones.
i decided that it would be a good idea to start running the actual marathon route so that i would be mentally and physically prepared to handle the course. i know from experience that running in a new place wigs me out because my brain has no visual references to tell me how far i've gone and how much more i have to go. plus i knew that if i didn't get any real hill training in, it would be a very real possibility that my legs would crap out on me. i followed the map from the race website as best as i could, and prayed that none of the roads i would have to run would be too dangerous during normal non-race, non-closure conditions.
so niketown is where i started. the first couple miles i weaved in and out of mobs of pedestrians, rushed through intersections and tried not to get run over. once i hit the embarcadero though, it was pretty smooth sailing. long flat blocks and i made nearly every green light. fisherman's wharf was a little crowded but not the clusterfuck i anticipated. from there i ran along the marina right into a fierce headwind. by that point i was about 5 miles into things. i started to tire so i took a gu and a walk break. i bought a water at little stand and refilled my bottles.
next came the stretch towards the golden gate bridge and the famous mile 7 with the bad ass hill. i ran through chrissy field and at one point missed my turn and ended up at fort point. so i doubled back and found "the hill". mother bitch! bikers dismounted their bikes, but damn if every single runner powered up. i was not one of those runners. i did my best but man, it was a no go.
and actually all of the presidio pretty much sucked ass. after that hill, came another. a long slow sucky ass hill. basically miles 7-10 were a combination of running, walking, whining, doubting, and near crying. i just could not will myself to run. my legs from my knees down were not happy. tight calves, tight soleus, rickety knees. all i could do was concentrate on just moving forward and enjoying the views of ocean and million dollar homes.
and while for every uphill there is a downhill, i don't much enjoy downhills either. but at least i was back to running. once out of the presidio, i ran in the bike lane on el camino del mar. and for the first time i was in a part of the city i'd never been before. i cursed every damn tree, every house. i was so tired. and my legs were seriously spent.
but i trudged on. because i saw the ocean! and a block before i reached ocean beach, right at mile 11, i spotted my oasis. BURGER KING!! just in time because i needed water and food. even though i had 2 gus by this point, my stomach was rumbling. and i figured if eating on the run was good enough for dean-o, it could be good enough for me. i popped into the BK for a bottled water and a small fry. yes, a small fry. i figured it had salt and simple carbs.
i popped a few tasty morsels in my mouth and held onto the bag for dear life. only 3 more miles to go through golden gate park. this is where the route got tricky because the map stopped naming roads through the park and i had to go by landmarks. the dutch windmill, the golf course, spreckles lake. and if i got lost, all i had to do was head for the panhandle and the japanese tea garden.
the last three miles were a pathetic attempt at running. my mind was long gone, my spirit pummelled and defeated, my legs tight, sore and pathetic. i ran when i could but mainly i walked. during this time, i just tried to pull myself together. figure out what i could learn and what i could do to make the next longer runs not suck so much. and therefore make finishing the marathon a reality.
i decided that i would run all my remaining long runs along the actual route. i also decided that it was imperative that i take my nutrition and hydration much more seriously. this is all stuff i already knew and should have been practicing already, but the thing is is that when i started thinking too seriously about this marathon thing, i would totally wig out, start to doubt my abilities and it would just spiral into total freakout, meltdown. so i'd been taking a more laidback approach, focusing on just one run at a time. this run however was a very rude awakening. and i'm hoping that the next month and a half before my taper is enough to be prepared.
because i ran from point to point, i had to get back to my car. my plan was to take a cab, but i quickly figured out that sf is not so much a cab kind of city. luckily it is a bus city. and after walking a mile further, i was able to find out what muni line i needed to take to get me back downtown. it gave me time to stretch though i didn't realize if i had just walked a block further i could have bought a gatorade at a gas station.
about 3 or 4 stops into my bus ride, someone actually came down to sit next to me. seriously dude? i have been running for the past 3 hours and you choose ME to sit next too. i mean sure my nips were at full salute since it was chilly in my wet tank, but seriously, i could not have looked or smelled that good. though after a quick glance around the bus i realized i wasn't the dirtiest person on the bus. ah, the joys of the city.
after traversing down haight, we finally made our way downtown where i made a beeline for a hotdog stand for a salty jumbo pretzel and a vitamin water. the pretzel ended up being a smart purchase because the swath of parchment paper made it was the perfect size to shield my chest and offending nips! i scarfed the pretzel down during the 4 block walk to the garage where my other treats awaited me. i threw on a long sleeve shirt and dug out my accelerade and grapes. by this point i felt totally bloated from all the liquids. once i had my fill, i grabbed my bags and headed for the gym.
for a spin class.
just kidding! who do you think i am?! i headed to a sf branch of my gym for a much needed shower. there was NO way i was gonna drive home in nasty running clothes. although i do have to say that my new running skirt was dry as a bone! but it felt ever so good to get into a warm shower, dry off and get into my jeans, dry socks, and my warm hoodie. by the time i changed it was about 5 pm. my original plan was to have dinner at a greek restaurant downtown but i realized that even after eating dinner, i would be stuck in rush hour traffic during the ride home. so i called my tita who lives in sf to see if she was home, and she was! score! she offered to make me fried chicken so it didn't take much twisting of my arm to forego gyros and hummus for homemade goods. and green tea ice cream! WOOT!
so now here i am, well fed, more rested, watching MTV with my cousin waiting out the traffic. i am definitely going to have to eat better and drink more before my long runs. because i'm realizing now that the only time i peed today was this morning. once when i woke up and once before i left for sf. also, i was under the wrong impression that because i have been stuffing my face the past 2 weeks that i wouldn't need to "carbo-load" before my run. dumb. dumb. dumb.
from here on out people, my training is gonna have to be different. much more serious. much more focused. let's hope it's not too late to pull this marathon outta my ass!
splits:
1: 12:04
2: 12:04
3: 12:09
4.19: 14:45 (i thought i hit the splits button but didn't)
5:10:56
6: 12:59
7: 13:22
8: 14:14
9: 14:39
10: 15:27
11: 14:32
12: 12:49
13: 13:19
14: 13:31
T: 3:06:51
15:14:56 (walk to bus)
yeah, so did i.
but i severely underestimated just how hilly those hills actually are. which makes for a very craptastic 14 mile run. which could potentially make for a craptastic marathon. *sigh*
the one good thing about san francisco is that the weather is almost always runner friendly. which meant i could wait until after rush hour traffic to make the trek to the city. i packed my bags, a cooler filled with post workout nourishment and made the hour drive to union square. i parked in a garage and started donning my running gear when i realized that i had forgotten my headphones!!! argh! there was no way i was gonna go 14 miles with no tunes or cues from my nike+. luckily niketown was right there. though i had to go into the store totally geeked out in my nike visor, nike sunglasses, and nike tank, in full running gear complete with my hydration belt. then i plunked down $30 for overpriced nike headphones.
i decided that it would be a good idea to start running the actual marathon route so that i would be mentally and physically prepared to handle the course. i know from experience that running in a new place wigs me out because my brain has no visual references to tell me how far i've gone and how much more i have to go. plus i knew that if i didn't get any real hill training in, it would be a very real possibility that my legs would crap out on me. i followed the map from the race website as best as i could, and prayed that none of the roads i would have to run would be too dangerous during normal non-race, non-closure conditions.
so niketown is where i started. the first couple miles i weaved in and out of mobs of pedestrians, rushed through intersections and tried not to get run over. once i hit the embarcadero though, it was pretty smooth sailing. long flat blocks and i made nearly every green light. fisherman's wharf was a little crowded but not the clusterfuck i anticipated. from there i ran along the marina right into a fierce headwind. by that point i was about 5 miles into things. i started to tire so i took a gu and a walk break. i bought a water at little stand and refilled my bottles.
next came the stretch towards the golden gate bridge and the famous mile 7 with the bad ass hill. i ran through chrissy field and at one point missed my turn and ended up at fort point. so i doubled back and found "the hill". mother bitch! bikers dismounted their bikes, but damn if every single runner powered up. i was not one of those runners. i did my best but man, it was a no go.
and actually all of the presidio pretty much sucked ass. after that hill, came another. a long slow sucky ass hill. basically miles 7-10 were a combination of running, walking, whining, doubting, and near crying. i just could not will myself to run. my legs from my knees down were not happy. tight calves, tight soleus, rickety knees. all i could do was concentrate on just moving forward and enjoying the views of ocean and million dollar homes.
and while for every uphill there is a downhill, i don't much enjoy downhills either. but at least i was back to running. once out of the presidio, i ran in the bike lane on el camino del mar. and for the first time i was in a part of the city i'd never been before. i cursed every damn tree, every house. i was so tired. and my legs were seriously spent.
but i trudged on. because i saw the ocean! and a block before i reached ocean beach, right at mile 11, i spotted my oasis. BURGER KING!! just in time because i needed water and food. even though i had 2 gus by this point, my stomach was rumbling. and i figured if eating on the run was good enough for dean-o, it could be good enough for me. i popped into the BK for a bottled water and a small fry. yes, a small fry. i figured it had salt and simple carbs.
i popped a few tasty morsels in my mouth and held onto the bag for dear life. only 3 more miles to go through golden gate park. this is where the route got tricky because the map stopped naming roads through the park and i had to go by landmarks. the dutch windmill, the golf course, spreckles lake. and if i got lost, all i had to do was head for the panhandle and the japanese tea garden.
the last three miles were a pathetic attempt at running. my mind was long gone, my spirit pummelled and defeated, my legs tight, sore and pathetic. i ran when i could but mainly i walked. during this time, i just tried to pull myself together. figure out what i could learn and what i could do to make the next longer runs not suck so much. and therefore make finishing the marathon a reality.
i decided that i would run all my remaining long runs along the actual route. i also decided that it was imperative that i take my nutrition and hydration much more seriously. this is all stuff i already knew and should have been practicing already, but the thing is is that when i started thinking too seriously about this marathon thing, i would totally wig out, start to doubt my abilities and it would just spiral into total freakout, meltdown. so i'd been taking a more laidback approach, focusing on just one run at a time. this run however was a very rude awakening. and i'm hoping that the next month and a half before my taper is enough to be prepared.
because i ran from point to point, i had to get back to my car. my plan was to take a cab, but i quickly figured out that sf is not so much a cab kind of city. luckily it is a bus city. and after walking a mile further, i was able to find out what muni line i needed to take to get me back downtown. it gave me time to stretch though i didn't realize if i had just walked a block further i could have bought a gatorade at a gas station.
about 3 or 4 stops into my bus ride, someone actually came down to sit next to me. seriously dude? i have been running for the past 3 hours and you choose ME to sit next too. i mean sure my nips were at full salute since it was chilly in my wet tank, but seriously, i could not have looked or smelled that good. though after a quick glance around the bus i realized i wasn't the dirtiest person on the bus. ah, the joys of the city.
after traversing down haight, we finally made our way downtown where i made a beeline for a hotdog stand for a salty jumbo pretzel and a vitamin water. the pretzel ended up being a smart purchase because the swath of parchment paper made it was the perfect size to shield my chest and offending nips! i scarfed the pretzel down during the 4 block walk to the garage where my other treats awaited me. i threw on a long sleeve shirt and dug out my accelerade and grapes. by this point i felt totally bloated from all the liquids. once i had my fill, i grabbed my bags and headed for the gym.
for a spin class.
just kidding! who do you think i am?! i headed to a sf branch of my gym for a much needed shower. there was NO way i was gonna drive home in nasty running clothes. although i do have to say that my new running skirt was dry as a bone! but it felt ever so good to get into a warm shower, dry off and get into my jeans, dry socks, and my warm hoodie. by the time i changed it was about 5 pm. my original plan was to have dinner at a greek restaurant downtown but i realized that even after eating dinner, i would be stuck in rush hour traffic during the ride home. so i called my tita who lives in sf to see if she was home, and she was! score! she offered to make me fried chicken so it didn't take much twisting of my arm to forego gyros and hummus for homemade goods. and green tea ice cream! WOOT!
so now here i am, well fed, more rested, watching MTV with my cousin waiting out the traffic. i am definitely going to have to eat better and drink more before my long runs. because i'm realizing now that the only time i peed today was this morning. once when i woke up and once before i left for sf. also, i was under the wrong impression that because i have been stuffing my face the past 2 weeks that i wouldn't need to "carbo-load" before my run. dumb. dumb. dumb.
from here on out people, my training is gonna have to be different. much more serious. much more focused. let's hope it's not too late to pull this marathon outta my ass!
splits:
1: 12:04
2: 12:04
3: 12:09
4.19: 14:45 (i thought i hit the splits button but didn't)
5:10:56
6: 12:59
7: 13:22
8: 14:14
9: 14:39
10: 15:27
11: 14:32
12: 12:49
13: 13:19
14: 13:31
T: 3:06:51
15:14:56 (walk to bus)
Wednesday, August 15, 2007
i expected this
finding new trails to run is one of the best things about living where i do. even though i log a good amount of miles on the treadmill, i love getting my shoes dirty in the great outdoors. i rarely enjoy running along city (or in my case) suburban streets. i'd heard good things about rockville hills park, less than 10 minutes from my house. so off i went, planning to log an easy 5 miles.
easy they were not. and 5 i did not log. the trails were rocky, windy, and at places very narrow and right along the edge of the hill. the scenery and views were AMAZING but this was not the ideal location for me to get in my first few miles after a 2 week hiatus. about a mile into the run i realized the terrain was too rough and in places too steep for me to get in a good easy workout. so i turned back. along the way i ran into a super buff chick and her 3 super buff dogs! for awhile i also ran behind a man who at one point stopped, dropped, and pounded out some pushups. holy christ! i hope i'm that fit when i'm in my late forties!
once back to my car i decided i couldn't just call it a day, so i drove to the lagoon to finish out the rest of my run. and even though the terrain there was familiar and flat, my legs just weren't feeling it. neither was my brain. i managed to eke out another 2.25 miles, though.
so it's a pathetic re-entry into training, but it's to be expected. i'm very much looking forward to yoga tonight. i think my muscles need it. especially before i attempt my 14 mile long run tomorrow. yeah, we'll just see how THAT goes.
easy they were not. and 5 i did not log. the trails were rocky, windy, and at places very narrow and right along the edge of the hill. the scenery and views were AMAZING but this was not the ideal location for me to get in my first few miles after a 2 week hiatus. about a mile into the run i realized the terrain was too rough and in places too steep for me to get in a good easy workout. so i turned back. along the way i ran into a super buff chick and her 3 super buff dogs! for awhile i also ran behind a man who at one point stopped, dropped, and pounded out some pushups. holy christ! i hope i'm that fit when i'm in my late forties!
once back to my car i decided i couldn't just call it a day, so i drove to the lagoon to finish out the rest of my run. and even though the terrain there was familiar and flat, my legs just weren't feeling it. neither was my brain. i managed to eke out another 2.25 miles, though.
so it's a pathetic re-entry into training, but it's to be expected. i'm very much looking forward to yoga tonight. i think my muscles need it. especially before i attempt my 14 mile long run tomorrow. yeah, we'll just see how THAT goes.
Monday, August 13, 2007
where i've been
 |
| GBW 2007 |
i've been doin' a lot of partyin'. and eatin'. and drinkin'. but not a lick of running.
in my defense, dc was insanely humid and this northern california girl has lost all tolerance for crappy weather. i packed all my gear to run, totally excited about running on my old trails again, but holy crap was it ever so hot and humid. i was out one night at 1 am and it was ridiculously swampy. i don't know how i ever trained for my first half marathon in that sauna last summer. my hat goes off to all you swampy runners. that shit is bru-tal!
i did find other ways to sweat though. my college bffs and i made our annual trek to dewey beach for some fun in the sun. i had my fill of crab cakes, tacos, thrasher fries, grotto pizza, and buckets of corona. then we danced it all off at the rusty rudder.
see? totally sweaty! so sweaty i had to wring my shirt out when we got back to the hotel. gross!
this is what $8.50 in french fries looks like. i swear i didn't eat them all myself, but i'm embarrassed to admit that i probably could have if i really wanted to.
i also spent some time back in the city, visiting other friends and my old office. i made it to the portrait gallery which opened late last year after years of renovation. i also did some major shopping, including a new running skirt!
but after a week, i was ready to get the hell outta there and get home. it surprised me how much my visit back made me realize moving was the best possible thing for me. i really had my doubts in the beginning. and surprisingly even though i'm back at home with the 'rents and waiting tables, i'm happier now than i have been in years. it's taken 8 months, but i think i'm FINALLY ready to start what i moved to california to do. START MY LIFE OVER AGAIN.
which happily coincides with my 29th birthday! festivities included a huuuge cookout, bowling, and karaoke! karaoke at a place called "uncle bong's pizzeria". how could you NOT have fun at a place like that?! our crew of about 30 took over and we had the best. time. ever. eventually our d.d.s got us alcoholics home in the wee hours of the morning and even managed to stop and get some late night mexican takeout.
so as you can see, a workout is in serious order. in fact, i probably shouldn't stop running until i hit next tuesday. but my, oh, my, is it ever so hard to get back on the wagon!
oh i almost forgot, here's a picture of my toe exactly a week after the ice-block incident!
Friday, August 10, 2007
whew!
got my stuff. thank GAWD!
i do want to post about my vaca, but i'm too busy unpacking and preparing for my birthday fiesta!! woot! truth be told i've been celebrating for about a week now, so the culmination of the actual day on sunday will no doubt tire this old lady out!
and for the record, this is my last birthday. i'll be 29 until no one believes me anymore. :)
i do want to post about my vaca, but i'm too busy unpacking and preparing for my birthday fiesta!! woot! truth be told i've been celebrating for about a week now, so the culmination of the actual day on sunday will no doubt tire this old lady out!
and for the record, this is my last birthday. i'll be 29 until no one believes me anymore. :)
Wednesday, August 08, 2007
i'm hoooooooome!
with my feet firmly planted on california soil, i can happily declare i'm home! but my luggage? not so much. mother bitches! i never check baggage but with the new liquids rule, i basically had no choice because i require excessive amounts of hair product and lip gloss. so i turned my bags over to tsa. and now look what happened!
i get ansty at the baggage carousel. i worry that someone will walk off with my bag and i'll be forced to confront them (or worse not realize someone has walked off with my shit). i worry that my bag will have busted open and all my dirty undies will be spilling out. and then i worry that my bags are in bolivia instead of sacramento, california. they've tried to assure me that they're on the next flight in, but who knows.
i was smart enough to carry-on my laptop and my custom orthotics for my running shoes, but not my actual shoes. my digital camera however is lost with the luggage, so pictures of my beautiful bruised toe will have to wait til later.
i bet you can't wait! (and say a prayer to the gods of lost luggage that my things make it safely back to me!)
i get ansty at the baggage carousel. i worry that someone will walk off with my bag and i'll be forced to confront them (or worse not realize someone has walked off with my shit). i worry that my bag will have busted open and all my dirty undies will be spilling out. and then i worry that my bags are in bolivia instead of sacramento, california. they've tried to assure me that they're on the next flight in, but who knows.
i was smart enough to carry-on my laptop and my custom orthotics for my running shoes, but not my actual shoes. my digital camera however is lost with the luggage, so pictures of my beautiful bruised toe will have to wait til later.
i bet you can't wait! (and say a prayer to the gods of lost luggage that my things make it safely back to me!)
Tuesday, July 31, 2007
i'm a brick house!
is it cheating if you break up your 12 mile long run with an hour spin class in the middle??
if you're asking why in the world i would even do such a thing, let me explain. tomorrow morning, my normal day off, i have to work. tomorrow night i leave on a red eye for d.c. thursday is my normal long run day, and tuesday is my normal spin day. a 12 mile run after a red eye seemed less plausible than a 12 mile run interrupted by a spin class. and if you're asking why in the hell would i bother with spin if i was already going to do 12 miles, let me explain. i am on crack.
spin has become kind of a drug. i have come to look forward to punishing my body on that bike. i can tell it's making me faster. i can tell it's making me tougher. it's just an hour a week, but that one hour a week is like training gold. so i didn't want to miss it.
and i couldn't miss my long run either. i'm going on vacay for a week and i know that a long weekend at the beach and a few days in the city catching up up with old pals will mean lots of food, lots of libations, and few opportunities to get my sweat on (besides dancin' my ass off). hence my pre-vacay exercise-fest!
the first 6 miles were pretty uneventful. i kept a nice, slow, easy pace. you could even call it fun! splits: 13:12, 11:56, 12:02, 12:16, 11:57, 11:59, .25 walk cool down.
then i downed a powergel and set up my bike. i thought for sure i would totally tank in class, but it's amazing what your body can do fueled by powergel with caffeine! we split into 3 teams to do anaerobic intervals, then we did a hill climb, then we finished with two sprint intervals. i didn't really start to feel it until we hopped off the bike to stretch. i was like, uh oh, these 6 miles are gonna su-uck!
and they pretty much did. i took half a powergel (no caffeine this time) and half a gatorade. from the waist up i was totally fine. from the hips down i was like lead. or more like tight, tight rubberbands. which i hear is a very common feeling for a brick workout. my splits are pretty abysmal but hey what do you want from me? my legs had been moving for over 2 hours at this point! splits: 13:43, 12:23, 12:22, 14:17, 12:54, 11:30, .25 walk cooldown. the only way i got through it was to just take it mile by mile. once i finished a mile, i walked to drink and at mile 9 i took the other half of my powergel. i considered bagging it at 10 miles, which would have been a valiant effort but i said to myself, fuck it you can pull 2 more miles out of your ass. and i did. i even managed to pull a 11:30 for the last mile. that last mile i just imagined myself on marathon day, climbing up the hills of san francsico, feeling super buff, super strong. the power of positive thoughts is a strong force my friends.
on the way home, i made two stops. the first was to in-n-out burger. i'm serious. i ordered a double-double animal style, protein style, fries, and a milk. for those of you who don't speak in-n-out, that's 2 burger patties with sauteed onions (animal style), pickles, tomatoes, 1000 dressing wrapped in huge lettuce leaves instead of a bun (protein style). i scarfed that sucker down like no one's business. and those french fries? sweet, sweet heaven. i didn't eat them all though. as hungry as i was, i just couldn't stomach all of them.
my second stop was to safeway to buy ice for my bath. they had 20 pound bags of cubed ice and 10 pound ice blocks. i thought 40 pounds of ice would be overkill, so i bought one of each. except that when i grabbed the 10 pound ice block, another 10 pound ice block fell out of the freezer and onto my left foot!!!!!
mother bitch! i was like freakin' steve carell in 40 year old virgin when he gets his chest waxed. so of course the clerks turn their heads to stare as i curse and hobble and hobble and curse. but does anyone come over to see what the hell just happened? no! fuckers!
so then i hobble to the checkout and i'm practically in tears at this point and does anyone offer to help the injured hobbling girl carry her 30 pounds of ice to her car? no! fuckers! i worked at that store one summer and i know for a fact that it is a rule to offer help out to any customer with 2 or more bags!!! you can bet i am writing an email to the manager of the store and ratting those lazy fuckers out.
so it's kind of ironic that the ice i bought to help ease my pain ended up causing me the most pain! and i know some marathoners end up with black toes and missing toenails, but i don't think this is how it happens to most.
so i bathed, both icy and warm. the toe is still throbbing like a mo'fo' and i'm icing it again. i hope i can sleep despite the pain 'cause i got a long day ahead of me tomorrow. but by this time tomorrow, i will officially be on vacay!!
if you're asking why in the world i would even do such a thing, let me explain. tomorrow morning, my normal day off, i have to work. tomorrow night i leave on a red eye for d.c. thursday is my normal long run day, and tuesday is my normal spin day. a 12 mile run after a red eye seemed less plausible than a 12 mile run interrupted by a spin class. and if you're asking why in the hell would i bother with spin if i was already going to do 12 miles, let me explain. i am on crack.
spin has become kind of a drug. i have come to look forward to punishing my body on that bike. i can tell it's making me faster. i can tell it's making me tougher. it's just an hour a week, but that one hour a week is like training gold. so i didn't want to miss it.
and i couldn't miss my long run either. i'm going on vacay for a week and i know that a long weekend at the beach and a few days in the city catching up up with old pals will mean lots of food, lots of libations, and few opportunities to get my sweat on (besides dancin' my ass off). hence my pre-vacay exercise-fest!
the first 6 miles were pretty uneventful. i kept a nice, slow, easy pace. you could even call it fun! splits: 13:12, 11:56, 12:02, 12:16, 11:57, 11:59, .25 walk cool down.
then i downed a powergel and set up my bike. i thought for sure i would totally tank in class, but it's amazing what your body can do fueled by powergel with caffeine! we split into 3 teams to do anaerobic intervals, then we did a hill climb, then we finished with two sprint intervals. i didn't really start to feel it until we hopped off the bike to stretch. i was like, uh oh, these 6 miles are gonna su-uck!
and they pretty much did. i took half a powergel (no caffeine this time) and half a gatorade. from the waist up i was totally fine. from the hips down i was like lead. or more like tight, tight rubberbands. which i hear is a very common feeling for a brick workout. my splits are pretty abysmal but hey what do you want from me? my legs had been moving for over 2 hours at this point! splits: 13:43, 12:23, 12:22, 14:17, 12:54, 11:30, .25 walk cooldown. the only way i got through it was to just take it mile by mile. once i finished a mile, i walked to drink and at mile 9 i took the other half of my powergel. i considered bagging it at 10 miles, which would have been a valiant effort but i said to myself, fuck it you can pull 2 more miles out of your ass. and i did. i even managed to pull a 11:30 for the last mile. that last mile i just imagined myself on marathon day, climbing up the hills of san francsico, feeling super buff, super strong. the power of positive thoughts is a strong force my friends.
on the way home, i made two stops. the first was to in-n-out burger. i'm serious. i ordered a double-double animal style, protein style, fries, and a milk. for those of you who don't speak in-n-out, that's 2 burger patties with sauteed onions (animal style), pickles, tomatoes, 1000 dressing wrapped in huge lettuce leaves instead of a bun (protein style). i scarfed that sucker down like no one's business. and those french fries? sweet, sweet heaven. i didn't eat them all though. as hungry as i was, i just couldn't stomach all of them.
my second stop was to safeway to buy ice for my bath. they had 20 pound bags of cubed ice and 10 pound ice blocks. i thought 40 pounds of ice would be overkill, so i bought one of each. except that when i grabbed the 10 pound ice block, another 10 pound ice block fell out of the freezer and onto my left foot!!!!!
mother bitch! i was like freakin' steve carell in 40 year old virgin when he gets his chest waxed. so of course the clerks turn their heads to stare as i curse and hobble and hobble and curse. but does anyone come over to see what the hell just happened? no! fuckers!
so then i hobble to the checkout and i'm practically in tears at this point and does anyone offer to help the injured hobbling girl carry her 30 pounds of ice to her car? no! fuckers! i worked at that store one summer and i know for a fact that it is a rule to offer help out to any customer with 2 or more bags!!! you can bet i am writing an email to the manager of the store and ratting those lazy fuckers out.
so it's kind of ironic that the ice i bought to help ease my pain ended up causing me the most pain! and i know some marathoners end up with black toes and missing toenails, but i don't think this is how it happens to most.
so i bathed, both icy and warm. the toe is still throbbing like a mo'fo' and i'm icing it again. i hope i can sleep despite the pain 'cause i got a long day ahead of me tomorrow. but by this time tomorrow, i will officially be on vacay!!
Sunday, July 29, 2007
Thursday, July 26, 2007
holla' atcha girl
on the docket today: 10 mile long run. aka the run where nearly every male driver stopped to honk at me. the SUV full of air force guys i didn't mind so much, but the dudes in the garbage truck. ick. proves yet another one of my theories: men will holler at anything in a skirt.
i chose a route straight outta the door of my house: to the golf course, around it and back home. a much hillier course than i've been running as of late. and hills are what i need to start getting used to if i'm not gonna die come october.
i've somehow lost my watch among my many possessions piled in my room and i've been running without it for a couple of weeks now. it's kind of nice because i don't get so caught up in my time and pace and i listen a lot more to my body. i did have my nike plus system though so i was able to clock the time of my entire run.
the first three miles were pretty smooth and when i reached the halfway point i was pretty stoaked to hear i was under an hour. there were times my mind would drift off and suddenly i'd drift back to consciousness and remember oh, yeah i'm running. i love when my body goes into autopilot like that. it's the closest thing i've had to an out of body experience. when i hit 8 miles though, i started to get a wee bit tired. only 2 miles to go i told myself. that's less than half an hour, you can do ANYTHING for less than half an hour.
the last mile kinda just sucked. i was tired and dumb enough to leave the biggest hill for the end. and just as i started my slow climb up, what song comes up on my ipod? the rocky theme song. i just had to laugh. what luck! so i huffed and i puffed got my ass up and over the hill and completed my 10 miles in 1:51:33!!! boys and girls that is an 11:08 average pace!!!!! for this petite chica, that is one big effing deal! holla' atcha girl!!!
i think i deserve a day at the beach, don't you?! happy thursday, y'all!
i chose a route straight outta the door of my house: to the golf course, around it and back home. a much hillier course than i've been running as of late. and hills are what i need to start getting used to if i'm not gonna die come october.
i've somehow lost my watch among my many possessions piled in my room and i've been running without it for a couple of weeks now. it's kind of nice because i don't get so caught up in my time and pace and i listen a lot more to my body. i did have my nike plus system though so i was able to clock the time of my entire run.
the first three miles were pretty smooth and when i reached the halfway point i was pretty stoaked to hear i was under an hour. there were times my mind would drift off and suddenly i'd drift back to consciousness and remember oh, yeah i'm running. i love when my body goes into autopilot like that. it's the closest thing i've had to an out of body experience. when i hit 8 miles though, i started to get a wee bit tired. only 2 miles to go i told myself. that's less than half an hour, you can do ANYTHING for less than half an hour.
the last mile kinda just sucked. i was tired and dumb enough to leave the biggest hill for the end. and just as i started my slow climb up, what song comes up on my ipod? the rocky theme song. i just had to laugh. what luck! so i huffed and i puffed got my ass up and over the hill and completed my 10 miles in 1:51:33!!! boys and girls that is an 11:08 average pace!!!!! for this petite chica, that is one big effing deal! holla' atcha girl!!!
i think i deserve a day at the beach, don't you?! happy thursday, y'all!
Tuesday, July 24, 2007
run, spin, run
tonight's workout kicked serious ass!!!
7:00 2 mile run
7:30 -8:30 spin class
i'd missed the last 2 weeks for family stuff, so i knew class would kick my ass. plus i was already hot and sweaty from my 2 mile warmup. i set up my bike and tried to mentally prepare myself for the hell that is spin class. then some tiny little twig of a girl set her bike up right next to mine. like closer than i usually set my bike up next to MH. beeyotch, what the eff is up with that? i swear to bob her waist was the size of one of my thighs. needless to say, i promptly put my shirt back on. i know, i'm such a hater.
after the warmup, the instructor says we're doing partner intervals. with MH gone this week, twiggy turns to me and asks to be my partner. effing great! the instructor then says that whoever if the youngest of the partners starts the intervals first. turns out twiggy is effing 18!!! a whole 10 years younger than me!! shit!
so yeah, as if spin wasn't bad enough i've gotta keep up with a hardbody teenager during anaerobic intervals. talk about motivation. i'm freakin' sucking wind just to show i'm not a lame old lady, and i swear to bob, someone in class farts!!! i nearly choked.
after that, we did a hill climb, then sprint intervals. fun fun. and oh yeah, someone in class farted AGAIN! lay off the frijoles before class people!!!
8:30-9:05 3 more miles
after class, i hopped back on the treadmill and went another 3 miles. the best part was i ran them at 11:20. and i wasn't even tired!! i'm thinking that luscious pork fat is my body's fuel of choice.
i'm feeling pretty much on top of the world! yay endorphins! i've eaten, showered, and my brother just called saying he's got the makings for irish car bombs and just bought the 80's edition of guitar hero. it's gonna be a long night, folks. but we both have tomorrow off! woot!
7:00 2 mile run
7:30 -8:30 spin class
i'd missed the last 2 weeks for family stuff, so i knew class would kick my ass. plus i was already hot and sweaty from my 2 mile warmup. i set up my bike and tried to mentally prepare myself for the hell that is spin class. then some tiny little twig of a girl set her bike up right next to mine. like closer than i usually set my bike up next to MH. beeyotch, what the eff is up with that? i swear to bob her waist was the size of one of my thighs. needless to say, i promptly put my shirt back on. i know, i'm such a hater.
after the warmup, the instructor says we're doing partner intervals. with MH gone this week, twiggy turns to me and asks to be my partner. effing great! the instructor then says that whoever if the youngest of the partners starts the intervals first. turns out twiggy is effing 18!!! a whole 10 years younger than me!! shit!
so yeah, as if spin wasn't bad enough i've gotta keep up with a hardbody teenager during anaerobic intervals. talk about motivation. i'm freakin' sucking wind just to show i'm not a lame old lady, and i swear to bob, someone in class farts!!! i nearly choked.
after that, we did a hill climb, then sprint intervals. fun fun. and oh yeah, someone in class farted AGAIN! lay off the frijoles before class people!!!
8:30-9:05 3 more miles
after class, i hopped back on the treadmill and went another 3 miles. the best part was i ran them at 11:20. and i wasn't even tired!! i'm thinking that luscious pork fat is my body's fuel of choice.
i'm feeling pretty much on top of the world! yay endorphins! i've eaten, showered, and my brother just called saying he's got the makings for irish car bombs and just bought the 80's edition of guitar hero. it's gonna be a long night, folks. but we both have tomorrow off! woot!
Monday, July 23, 2007
damage control
this morning i got up at 4:30 to get my ass on a treadclimber and a precor. in an hour, i burned close to 700 calories!! which doesn't even come close to burning off HALF of what i ate this weekend. pints of guinness and corona light (on different nights), homemade cookies, my weight in cheese, enough rice to feed china twice, and sweet luscious pork fat! (if you haven't had a roasted pig, you haven't yet lived!)totally worth the 5 miles i'm about to log. and an hour of yoga to unblock any digestive chakras.
i wouldn't have to work so hard if i just ate like a lady :)
Friday, July 20, 2007
girl power
i've been too busy yapping about my fat arse to properly acknowledge that i've been "tagged" as a rockin' girl blogger. woot! thanks chicas. and to pay it forward, as anne says:1. jen
from the second i started reading her blog i thought to myself, "she is exactly the kind of athlete i want to be!"
2. josie
who doesn't love a girl who loves spam? she has me laughing all the friggin' time! yet she can be so introspective and thoughtful.
3. neese
this is the girl who inspired me to do speedwork!!!
4. chicago gal
maybe she's my long lost sister or we were born on the same wavelength but it is so eerie how our lives are so parallel, even though we're on opposite sides of the country living very different lives. she's smart and isn't afraid to speak her mind.
5. gina
i envy the way she writes. so effortless yet perfectly and delightfully descriptive.
Thursday, July 19, 2007
6 miles o' fun
 |
| redwood regional park |
the most fun i've had on a run in a loooong time!
click on the image to see all the pics!
it was later (11 am) and warmer (high 70s maybe) than i'm used to, but the 40 minute drive to oakland's redwood regional park was totally worth it! bounding uphill and down, stopping dead in my tracks to admire the views, feeling so humbled and small beneath the redwood canopy, the smell of eucalyptus in the air...this is the stuff that running is made of!
60%
the schedule only has 6 planned for today. must be another one of those cutback weeks (gotta love em) so i don't really have a fire lit under my ass to get it done. it's very doable and the weather today is so mild i can do it anytime. it's more a matter of getting over the dread of boredom i've talked about before. i think running a new route might help, so that will require some thinking on my end. and i need to find the receiver to my ipod+. but i'm too lazy to do either of those things right now, so i'm blogging. about my weight! (aren't you lucky!)
when i started this blog back in september i was weeks from my first half and weighed 138 pounds. which is pretty hefty for someone only 5'3". but i've always been heavier than my petite counterparts mainly because i think i carry more muscle or have heavier bones, or so i tell myself. my profile pic shows what i look like at that weight and while you can't see the meatiness that is my thighs, i think i look pretty good. i felt pretty good anyway.
at that time, i was hoping to lose another 10-15, but i know from experience that weighing anything under the 135 mark is something my body can't do without great sacrifice. meaning working out hard, a lot. and more importantly, eating healthy 100% of the time.
today, i'm 10 pounds heavier than i was back in september (so the miss petite america moniker is a sham! shut up!) a lot of that has to do with the stress and change i've gone through since september. and the fact that i now live at home and my mom fills the house with goodies i never ever bought. her way of showing she loves me is to feed me. and i have no self control.
60% of the time i can be good. i have to subtract 25% for the week of PMS and 15% for my celebrating habit (drinking, birthday parties, family get togethers etc). this 60% does put me ahead, but only by a bit. so the weight loss, it's been slow. reeeeeeal slow. and if my workout regimen falters at all, the scale is unforgiving.
i know that if i really just focus, even just a little bit, the 10 pounds will fall away pretty easily. but the last 10-15 vanity pounds i'd want to lose? would only come if i borrowed madonna's personal trainers and nutritionists. and never ate anything i loved ever again.
and people really do live this way. some people actually practice raw, macrobiotic diets. some people actually don't drink alcohol! some people actually workout when they're upset instead of reaching for a bag of kettle chips! dean karnazes says he doesn't even eat his kid's birthday cake! sweet jesus, it's BIRTHDAY CAKE!!!!!!!!!! i know dean is like the god of distance running, but c'mon it's your kid's freaking birthday, and you ran like 500 miles this morning, i think you can eat a piece of friggin' cake for your son's birthday.
i vascilate between admiration and pity when i read/hear about people's perfect diet and exercise habits. i mean to have the dedication and discipline! but at the same time, to ALWAYS be that dedicated and disciplined can't always be fun. maybe that's the price you pay for having a "perfect" body.
judging by my 60%, i've chosen fun and food over 6 pack abs. because while it would be great to fit into my size 4 skinny jeans all the time, i just don't think i could give up beer and barbecue. or the random PMS krispy kreme. or garlic fries at the ball park. maybe it makes me weak. or less dedicated. or neurotically too attached to food. i think the best i could do is raise my 60% to a 75%. i am just a recreational athlete, after all. but it does sometimes make me feel like a porker.
i actually meant this to be a more positive post, as my size 6 pants are fitting again. and my skinny jeans are only 10 pounds away. i think what bothers me more than my actual size is my attitude. i feel like i should want to be healthier, want to be more hardcore about my diet and exercise. that i shouldn't stop until i'm 17% body fat. because even though i might be comfortable with my size and my body, i can't help but think that others see me running and think, "sweet jesus, she needs to put a shirt on" or "holy crap she's gonna start a fire with all that chafing". even at a healthy weight for me, i don't think i'll ever look like a runner. i always feel like that chubby girl in a sea of super-toned, super-fit hard bodies.
and i mean, sure it'd be great if i could be a hard body too. but i'm obviously not willing to work that hard. is that such a bad thing?
when i started this blog back in september i was weeks from my first half and weighed 138 pounds. which is pretty hefty for someone only 5'3". but i've always been heavier than my petite counterparts mainly because i think i carry more muscle or have heavier bones, or so i tell myself. my profile pic shows what i look like at that weight and while you can't see the meatiness that is my thighs, i think i look pretty good. i felt pretty good anyway.
at that time, i was hoping to lose another 10-15, but i know from experience that weighing anything under the 135 mark is something my body can't do without great sacrifice. meaning working out hard, a lot. and more importantly, eating healthy 100% of the time.
today, i'm 10 pounds heavier than i was back in september (so the miss petite america moniker is a sham! shut up!) a lot of that has to do with the stress and change i've gone through since september. and the fact that i now live at home and my mom fills the house with goodies i never ever bought. her way of showing she loves me is to feed me. and i have no self control.
60% of the time i can be good. i have to subtract 25% for the week of PMS and 15% for my celebrating habit (drinking, birthday parties, family get togethers etc). this 60% does put me ahead, but only by a bit. so the weight loss, it's been slow. reeeeeeal slow. and if my workout regimen falters at all, the scale is unforgiving.
i know that if i really just focus, even just a little bit, the 10 pounds will fall away pretty easily. but the last 10-15 vanity pounds i'd want to lose? would only come if i borrowed madonna's personal trainers and nutritionists. and never ate anything i loved ever again.
and people really do live this way. some people actually practice raw, macrobiotic diets. some people actually don't drink alcohol! some people actually workout when they're upset instead of reaching for a bag of kettle chips! dean karnazes says he doesn't even eat his kid's birthday cake! sweet jesus, it's BIRTHDAY CAKE!!!!!!!!!! i know dean is like the god of distance running, but c'mon it's your kid's freaking birthday, and you ran like 500 miles this morning, i think you can eat a piece of friggin' cake for your son's birthday.
i vascilate between admiration and pity when i read/hear about people's perfect diet and exercise habits. i mean to have the dedication and discipline! but at the same time, to ALWAYS be that dedicated and disciplined can't always be fun. maybe that's the price you pay for having a "perfect" body.
judging by my 60%, i've chosen fun and food over 6 pack abs. because while it would be great to fit into my size 4 skinny jeans all the time, i just don't think i could give up beer and barbecue. or the random PMS krispy kreme. or garlic fries at the ball park. maybe it makes me weak. or less dedicated. or neurotically too attached to food. i think the best i could do is raise my 60% to a 75%. i am just a recreational athlete, after all. but it does sometimes make me feel like a porker.
i actually meant this to be a more positive post, as my size 6 pants are fitting again. and my skinny jeans are only 10 pounds away. i think what bothers me more than my actual size is my attitude. i feel like i should want to be healthier, want to be more hardcore about my diet and exercise. that i shouldn't stop until i'm 17% body fat. because even though i might be comfortable with my size and my body, i can't help but think that others see me running and think, "sweet jesus, she needs to put a shirt on" or "holy crap she's gonna start a fire with all that chafing". even at a healthy weight for me, i don't think i'll ever look like a runner. i always feel like that chubby girl in a sea of super-toned, super-fit hard bodies.
and i mean, sure it'd be great if i could be a hard body too. but i'm obviously not willing to work that hard. is that such a bad thing?
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
iron f*cking yoga
i had a hard time falling asleep last night, so when my alarm went off at 5:20 for spin class, i barely had enough energy to turn the damned thing off. my slumber was already ruined and since i get up at 6 every morning anyway, i got up to feed my ravenous stomach. yoga started at 8:30 so i laid my head down again only to wake up at 9. doh! but at least i was well rested.
i checked the gym schedule and it turns out there's another spin class at 5:30, but no more yoga for the day. so, i dusted off my iron yoga DVD and thought i'd give it a go. i bought it nearly a year ago and probably did it twice. now that i have some yoga under my belt i thought i might enjoy it more. especially since the yoga classes at my gym aren't particularly strenuous. they're definitely good for my flexibility and overall uptightedness, but not so great for strength.
now i remember why i only did the dvd twice. it's freakin' hard! and i didn't even use weights. i was all wobbly and sweaty. but i will say this: 1. i have plenty of room to improve, so i'll definitely get my money's worth from this dvd 2. it's a great workout.
the guy does get kind of annoying at times. annoying enough that i wanted to throw the remote at the t.v. (so very un-yoga like) but i think that had more to do with how tired i was getting in certain poses than him. because as far as dvd instructors go, he's pretty neutral.
i bought a pilates for abs dvd a few weeks ago that i have yet to crack open. and after an hour of iron yoga, i just didn't have the strength. maybe tomorrow before my long run.
does anyone out there have recommendations for good workout dvds they've tried?
i checked the gym schedule and it turns out there's another spin class at 5:30, but no more yoga for the day. so, i dusted off my iron yoga DVD and thought i'd give it a go. i bought it nearly a year ago and probably did it twice. now that i have some yoga under my belt i thought i might enjoy it more. especially since the yoga classes at my gym aren't particularly strenuous. they're definitely good for my flexibility and overall uptightedness, but not so great for strength.
now i remember why i only did the dvd twice. it's freakin' hard! and i didn't even use weights. i was all wobbly and sweaty. but i will say this: 1. i have plenty of room to improve, so i'll definitely get my money's worth from this dvd 2. it's a great workout.
the guy does get kind of annoying at times. annoying enough that i wanted to throw the remote at the t.v. (so very un-yoga like) but i think that had more to do with how tired i was getting in certain poses than him. because as far as dvd instructors go, he's pretty neutral.
i bought a pilates for abs dvd a few weeks ago that i have yet to crack open. and after an hour of iron yoga, i just didn't have the strength. maybe tomorrow before my long run.
does anyone out there have recommendations for good workout dvds they've tried?
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
then i said
that's cool. so the whole wanting to work out with me, that was all just to spend more time together?
basically, yeah. but i did want to start working out again.
and it doesn't weird you out that i'm your friend's older sister?
no. though your brother and his gf have been asking what's up with us flirting and all i could think was "i've sure been trying, but i don't know if she has." i didn't want to say, yeah i like her, then find out you didn't feel the same way. so i didn't say anything.
hmmm. well to be honest i'm not totally surprised. i kind of saw it coming. i didn't think you'd be so bold so soon.
well...i feel better now that i've told you.
the next day, i was over at his house watching the brazil/argentina game, and he kissed me. it was weird because i have thought about kissing him, but i never acted on it for a variety of reasons. and now that it was actually happening, i kissed him back. my brain told me i probably shouldn't. but gravity sort of took over and i found myself drawn in. it was nice. and it's been a loooong time since i've kissed a boy.
but it isn't that simple. i'm thinking now that taking this any further would be a bad idea. sure, he makes me laugh like no one's business and he's very sweet, and loyal, and gentlemanly. BUT we work together, he's friends with my brother and his gf, and he's 5 years younger than i am. and for other reasons i won't bore anyone with here, i already know he's not boyfriend material.
not to say that's what he's saying he wants or that anything serious will ever come of me and MH based on this weekend's turn of events, i just think now's the time to be very clear to him that this does not go past friendship. and while there are parties who say i could entertain a non-serious flirtation/fling thing, that's just not for me. after spending so many years with a really bad boyfriend, i vowed i would never put up with less than everything i ever wanted in a male. i spent so many years waiting, settling, that i don't want to get caught up in that again. and when it comes to affection, i'm an all or nothing kind of girl. i don't ever just kind of like someone. or kind of get involved. i can see myself easily getting carried away with the attention and the kissing. so it's just best to not cross the line, because for me it's always a hard road back.
so that's the end of the boring story folks. sorry it wasn't juicier. it does prove to me yet again that harry's theory of male and female relationships is right: men and women can never just be friends. at least in all my years of life, that has been the case. but it's good to know i'm not totally hideous to the opposite sex.
in workout news, i ran twice today! once in the morning at the gym. and after work on a real bonafide track! i planned on doing yasso 800s but after my first warmup lap, a group of volunteers for this weekend's cancer relay gathered on the track. and because i am stupid, i didn't want to stop and take any walk breaks in front of these people. so i did a 3 mile tempo run, walked a lap when they left, and then ran a mile cooldown.
.25 warm up: untimed
1: 10:39
2: 10:58
3: 10:30
.25 walk: 4:14
4.25: 13:35 cooldown
.25 walk: 5:30
total time: 55:20
this is the first time i've done my speedwork on a track. it was nice because it was outside and the wind kept me cool. but it was boring and i kept thinking i would lose track of how many laps i'd done since i was keeping track by mile and not quarter mile. but i'll definitely try it again.
and in all honesty, i didn't give my all as indicated by my splits. i chalk it up to the unwanted audience and the unfamiliar territory. because i don't feel like admitting i'm lazy today.
basically, yeah. but i did want to start working out again.
and it doesn't weird you out that i'm your friend's older sister?
no. though your brother and his gf have been asking what's up with us flirting and all i could think was "i've sure been trying, but i don't know if she has." i didn't want to say, yeah i like her, then find out you didn't feel the same way. so i didn't say anything.
hmmm. well to be honest i'm not totally surprised. i kind of saw it coming. i didn't think you'd be so bold so soon.
well...i feel better now that i've told you.
the next day, i was over at his house watching the brazil/argentina game, and he kissed me. it was weird because i have thought about kissing him, but i never acted on it for a variety of reasons. and now that it was actually happening, i kissed him back. my brain told me i probably shouldn't. but gravity sort of took over and i found myself drawn in. it was nice. and it's been a loooong time since i've kissed a boy.
but it isn't that simple. i'm thinking now that taking this any further would be a bad idea. sure, he makes me laugh like no one's business and he's very sweet, and loyal, and gentlemanly. BUT we work together, he's friends with my brother and his gf, and he's 5 years younger than i am. and for other reasons i won't bore anyone with here, i already know he's not boyfriend material.
not to say that's what he's saying he wants or that anything serious will ever come of me and MH based on this weekend's turn of events, i just think now's the time to be very clear to him that this does not go past friendship. and while there are parties who say i could entertain a non-serious flirtation/fling thing, that's just not for me. after spending so many years with a really bad boyfriend, i vowed i would never put up with less than everything i ever wanted in a male. i spent so many years waiting, settling, that i don't want to get caught up in that again. and when it comes to affection, i'm an all or nothing kind of girl. i don't ever just kind of like someone. or kind of get involved. i can see myself easily getting carried away with the attention and the kissing. so it's just best to not cross the line, because for me it's always a hard road back.
so that's the end of the boring story folks. sorry it wasn't juicier. it does prove to me yet again that harry's theory of male and female relationships is right: men and women can never just be friends. at least in all my years of life, that has been the case. but it's good to know i'm not totally hideous to the opposite sex.
in workout news, i ran twice today! once in the morning at the gym. and after work on a real bonafide track! i planned on doing yasso 800s but after my first warmup lap, a group of volunteers for this weekend's cancer relay gathered on the track. and because i am stupid, i didn't want to stop and take any walk breaks in front of these people. so i did a 3 mile tempo run, walked a lap when they left, and then ran a mile cooldown.
.25 warm up: untimed
1: 10:39
2: 10:58
3: 10:30
.25 walk: 4:14
4.25: 13:35 cooldown
.25 walk: 5:30
total time: 55:20
this is the first time i've done my speedwork on a track. it was nice because it was outside and the wind kept me cool. but it was boring and i kept thinking i would lose track of how many laps i'd done since i was keeping track by mile and not quarter mile. but i'll definitely try it again.
and in all honesty, i didn't give my all as indicated by my splits. i chalk it up to the unwanted audience and the unfamiliar territory. because i don't feel like admitting i'm lazy today.
Monday, July 16, 2007
Sunday, July 15, 2007
best hour of my day
9:00-10:00 pm. on the treadmill. a sweet, easy 5 miles.
i've been feeling congested since friday so i haven't really worked out. friday, i bagged my run but made it to yoga. yesterday after work i helped my brother's gf paint her new apartment. and because we had family over this weekend to help my brother's gf, there was tasty but fatty food aplenty. and for some reason whenever my brothers are around i feel the need to outeat them. it's a strange unspoken eating contest we engage in when mom's fried chicken hits the table. and don't even get me started when she makes adobo.
so yeah, a workout was definitely in order today. i dragged myself to the gym after a short nap. because my sinuses were congested i figured the treadmill was my best bet. if my nose erupted with snot, i could always dash to the bathroom. and if i truly felt like poop, i could easily hop off and drive home.
luckily, running gets the blood pumping and the generated body heat clears the sinuses.
right now i'm trying to watch the espys. but chances are i'll channel surf to the food network...
i've been feeling congested since friday so i haven't really worked out. friday, i bagged my run but made it to yoga. yesterday after work i helped my brother's gf paint her new apartment. and because we had family over this weekend to help my brother's gf, there was tasty but fatty food aplenty. and for some reason whenever my brothers are around i feel the need to outeat them. it's a strange unspoken eating contest we engage in when mom's fried chicken hits the table. and don't even get me started when she makes adobo.
so yeah, a workout was definitely in order today. i dragged myself to the gym after a short nap. because my sinuses were congested i figured the treadmill was my best bet. if my nose erupted with snot, i could always dash to the bathroom. and if i truly felt like poop, i could easily hop off and drive home.
luckily, running gets the blood pumping and the generated body heat clears the sinuses.
right now i'm trying to watch the espys. but chances are i'll channel surf to the food network...
Saturday, July 14, 2007
Thursday, July 12, 2007
27 pounds of ice
MH cancelled on me this morning. me thinks he was drowning his sorrows in one too many modelos last night after mexico's loss. but their loss was my gain, since i was already up and ready to go.
lately, i've been dreading my long runs because i've been fearing boredom. though once i start, boredom never really is a problem. most of the time i'm grateful to myself for getting my ass out. or sometimes i'm preoccupied with how tired i am and i'm pushing myself to go on. or my breath literally gets taken away at the sight of deer, rabbits, birds etc.
today's nine was no different. not the best but not the worst, more of a mixed bag of everything in between. i will say this: gu saved my life and flamenco music is fabulous to run to.
i forgot my watch but nike plus says i finished in an hour and 56 minutes. my stomach was giving me a few problems during my run forcing me to walk at times so my time was slow indeed. but considering all my body has been through this week, i'll take it.
not wanting to take any chances with any sort of soreness, i fixed myself an ice bath with 3 nine pound bags of ice. it's crazy but i have this crazy fascination with ice baths. i love 'em. i'm a masochist, i know. sometimes i think i do my long runs just so i can take an ice bath!
now i'm snuggled under the covers with a mug of chicken and stars, a bowl of strawberries, and some kettle baked chips watching pretty in pink. happy thursday, y'all.
lately, i've been dreading my long runs because i've been fearing boredom. though once i start, boredom never really is a problem. most of the time i'm grateful to myself for getting my ass out. or sometimes i'm preoccupied with how tired i am and i'm pushing myself to go on. or my breath literally gets taken away at the sight of deer, rabbits, birds etc.
today's nine was no different. not the best but not the worst, more of a mixed bag of everything in between. i will say this: gu saved my life and flamenco music is fabulous to run to.
i forgot my watch but nike plus says i finished in an hour and 56 minutes. my stomach was giving me a few problems during my run forcing me to walk at times so my time was slow indeed. but considering all my body has been through this week, i'll take it.
not wanting to take any chances with any sort of soreness, i fixed myself an ice bath with 3 nine pound bags of ice. it's crazy but i have this crazy fascination with ice baths. i love 'em. i'm a masochist, i know. sometimes i think i do my long runs just so i can take an ice bath!
now i'm snuggled under the covers with a mug of chicken and stars, a bowl of strawberries, and some kettle baked chips watching pretty in pink. happy thursday, y'all.
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
not quite 100%
i attempted a run today. to play it safe, i kept to the treadmill. i got about 35 minutes into it before my stomach started feeling um, unpleasant. but at least i got something done. tomorrow morning, MH and i are off to spin. i probably won't get a long run in this week, unless i can pull off a miracle on friday or saturday evening. so, please pray for a miracle. i don't want to be a complete waste of human flesh this week.
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
Monday, July 09, 2007
praying to the porcelain gods
actually, it was more like praying to the sidewalk gods, and the front seat of MH's car gods, and the bucket by the couch gods. because in the numerous times i puked this weekend, not once did i actually make it to a toilet.
i crashed a wedding this weekend, but i'm the one who crashed. HARD.
i didn't intend for the night to go as it did, but who really does. in my defense, i didn't even have all that much to drink. it must have been something about the alignment of the planets or maybe something that i ate. but saturday night sucked so hard it wasn't even funny.
unless you were my brother, or his friends. or MH. or any lucky guest in the lobby of the hotel who got to witness my shenanigans. i was tackling people. putting cigarettes in people's mouths. and apparently, doing some very unladylike dancing. sweet jesus. thank god my mother wasn't there.
i remember having a good time, and then i remember not. i vaguely remember getting into MH's car, but i don't remember puking on his shirt. or his car. i don't know how i got on the couch. or where my shoes or purse were. i woke up at around 4 am with a pounding headache and the desire to puke even more. at around 5 am, my mom woke me up to get me ready for work. yes kids, i had to go to work.
she made me a bagel and i somehow managed to put on my uniform and stand up.
the next 7 hours were the worst of my life. i had to go to work because a new girl was starting and i couldn't leave her to run the restaurant by herself. plus everyone at work knew i was at the wedding and i couldn't call out sick on account of being hungover. even if i couldn't stand up. so yeah, it pretty much sucked hard. i could not escape the nauseau, whether i was sitting, standing, laying down. the lowest of the low was when i finally puked yet again about an hour before the end of my shift.
finally, finally, finally i made it home, and on the couch with a huge plate of watermelon, gatorade and some crackers. i took some tylenol and took a nap. and finally, finally, finally felt like half a normal person. i remember at some point during my convalesence thinking, "i'm a freaking marathon runner in training and THIS is what i'm doing to my body?!? shit!"
i was tempted to take a picture of myself to remind me of the bad things alcohol can do to my body. but to be honest, i don't really know what happened. i really honestly only had 3 glasses of wine. there must have been some other odd factor to have caused such wretching of my insides. either way, it sucked hard. and even today, 2 days later, i still don't feel 100%. my throat still burns like hell. i don't know how bulimics do it. but i will say this: shit like this doesn't happen when i drink beer.
i crashed a wedding this weekend, but i'm the one who crashed. HARD.
i didn't intend for the night to go as it did, but who really does. in my defense, i didn't even have all that much to drink. it must have been something about the alignment of the planets or maybe something that i ate. but saturday night sucked so hard it wasn't even funny.
unless you were my brother, or his friends. or MH. or any lucky guest in the lobby of the hotel who got to witness my shenanigans. i was tackling people. putting cigarettes in people's mouths. and apparently, doing some very unladylike dancing. sweet jesus. thank god my mother wasn't there.
i remember having a good time, and then i remember not. i vaguely remember getting into MH's car, but i don't remember puking on his shirt. or his car. i don't know how i got on the couch. or where my shoes or purse were. i woke up at around 4 am with a pounding headache and the desire to puke even more. at around 5 am, my mom woke me up to get me ready for work. yes kids, i had to go to work.
she made me a bagel and i somehow managed to put on my uniform and stand up.
the next 7 hours were the worst of my life. i had to go to work because a new girl was starting and i couldn't leave her to run the restaurant by herself. plus everyone at work knew i was at the wedding and i couldn't call out sick on account of being hungover. even if i couldn't stand up. so yeah, it pretty much sucked hard. i could not escape the nauseau, whether i was sitting, standing, laying down. the lowest of the low was when i finally puked yet again about an hour before the end of my shift.
finally, finally, finally i made it home, and on the couch with a huge plate of watermelon, gatorade and some crackers. i took some tylenol and took a nap. and finally, finally, finally felt like half a normal person. i remember at some point during my convalesence thinking, "i'm a freaking marathon runner in training and THIS is what i'm doing to my body?!? shit!"
i was tempted to take a picture of myself to remind me of the bad things alcohol can do to my body. but to be honest, i don't really know what happened. i really honestly only had 3 glasses of wine. there must have been some other odd factor to have caused such wretching of my insides. either way, it sucked hard. and even today, 2 days later, i still don't feel 100%. my throat still burns like hell. i don't know how bulimics do it. but i will say this: shit like this doesn't happen when i drink beer.
Friday, July 06, 2007
8 mile
first off, more eric eye candy. let's all swoon together.
second, i have running to report, finally. my last 2 workouts were on the bike, both of which kinda sucked. it took all i had not to spew my dinner during spin class. and i was sore an hour after class. back to back bike days really tax my hip flexors and quads. booooo!
wednesday, my normal rest day, was the fourth and the night of too many mojitos. thursday, my usual long run day, i spent at stinson beach. nothing but long naps and short dips to cool off. i got home at a decent hour, planning to run, but i was a bit tired and dehydrated.
so i resolved to run today. and by golly i did. 8 miles. on the treadmill, people. (insert your gasps here)
i didn't really want to run this on the treadmill, but by the time i was ready to run, it was already close to 8pm and there was no way i would finish before it got dark. so off to the gym i went.
apparently, i wasn't the only loser at the gym on a friday night because the place was pretty busy when i got there. but within the hour and 40 minutes it took to finish my run, the place really thinned out.
my run went from bad to good, which is about all you can hope for in a run. i'd been kinda cranky all day and i had a lot of errands to run after work. so the first half of my run consisted of me flipping through most of my playlist, unable to stand listening to one complete song. at 4.75 miles i reset the treadmill and tried to reset my mood.
turns out the tv did it for me. i got caught up in watching some football special about the 1988 forty-niners. boy did that bring me back. i'm not a big sports buff, but i do remember idolizing joe montana, jerry rice, ronnie lott, steve young, roger craig. i remember my entire family sitting around someone's big screen every week screaming our heads off. and this was before i ever drank beer! i remember the immense pride san franciscans took in our team and feeling like we were part of the legacy.
that last 5k was probably the best time i've had running in a while. at the end i had plenty of gas for more and my spirits were through the roof. for sure my pace was slow, but it was nice to be reminded how good running can feel.
Tuesday, July 03, 2007
is there room for me on that raft?
it's hot as hell today. i want chocolate more than anything right now. i'm bloated. i'm tired. and i could use a few glasses of wine.instead, i'm going to spin class. whoop-ee.
the good news is tomorrow is the fourth of july! my second favorite holiday!! tomorrow is also my very own personal independence day. it's been exactly a year that i left my jack-ass loser boyfriend! WOOT! and i don't miss him one bit, FINALLY! more than anything, i feel such relief that he is no longer in my life.
so now i am free to frolick with my pretend celebrity boyfriend, eric bana. such a tall drink of water he is...
*sigh*
Monday, July 02, 2007
thanks again to all the bloggers for coming through. i think my brain is just in anticipation overdrive. right now the training is easy and familiar and i'm impatient. i want it to start getting hard already. weird i know. but i don't think it will start to feel real until it starts to feel hard. if that makes any sense.
speaking of training, i took sunday off because my knee was giving me issues. and today because my feet were still a little tender, i took to the stationary bike. nothing too thrillng. something like 15 miles in 50 minutes on the alpine setting.
today, yoga was with heavy breathing guy. at one point in class he actually told us to try to get our outbreath to sound like darth vadar. i know it's been a good yoga day when my legs are tingly at the end of class when we're meditating. i love me some downward facing dog. (that sounded ridiculously dirty, or is it just me?)
speaking of training, i took sunday off because my knee was giving me issues. and today because my feet were still a little tender, i took to the stationary bike. nothing too thrillng. something like 15 miles in 50 minutes on the alpine setting.
today, yoga was with heavy breathing guy. at one point in class he actually told us to try to get our outbreath to sound like darth vadar. i know it's been a good yoga day when my legs are tingly at the end of class when we're meditating. i love me some downward facing dog. (that sounded ridiculously dirty, or is it just me?)
Sunday, July 01, 2007
5:11:24
that is my projected finishing time for the marathon in october. and this is how i feel about it.i'm already displeased with the results and i haven't even started. something's wrong here.
for the most part, i thought i wasn't too hung up on being a slow runner. but the idea of it taking over 5 flippin' hours to run is just ridiculous. like what is the point if i'm gonna run it that slow? can you even call it running at that point?! for pete's sake, oprah finished half an hour faster than i will. OH-PRAH! you're telling me if we were gazelles in the african desert, i would get eaten by the lion and she would make it away safely? she doesn't look particularly spry to me.
i mean my grandma could probably run it faster! one legged dwarves and blind monkeys running backwards could probably make it to the finish line faster. it feels like anyone can run it in that time, so how is it any special achievement that i can?
i know, i know, i'm missing the whole point of embarking on this endeavor in the first place. it's not about what others can do, it's about what i can do. but we'd all be lying if we said running isn't about speed or competition. why would we bother timing ourselves if it wasn't? why would we care about where we place in our age group?
i know that faster doesn't necessarily mean better. but it means something. and for someone who is used to working for and achieving anything she wants, a 5 hour plus marathon just seems so mediocre to me. and it pains me that no matter how hard i train, there is a limit to my physical abilities. i probably just need a killer long run to kick my ass and put me in check. then i'll be on my hands and knees begging, pleading, praying i make it out alive at all!
i've always been one to be more focused on the destination than the journey. ultimately, my motivation for running this marathon has to be more than just my finishing time.
i guess i have to think of it like this: while the marathon is my goal, there are many goals to achieve on the way. and the marathon itself is really just a small part of what makes me a runner.
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