a collection of thoughts

• my first snack of the day was a cup of lentil soup. that shiz kept me full for 2 hours! i probably could have gone longer, but figured i should get my next snack in so i don't accidentally get hungry.
• i got started on my walk today and realized, oh crap. i'm sore. i definitely felt it in my hip flexors, quads and feet. i need to start wearing real walking shoes, especially given my poor foot anatomy.
  
• i got really, really tired at around 2pm. after i had already had my walk, my lunch and some sorbet as a snack. it sucked. i just wanted to plop my head down on my desk and sleep. i even called patrick to see if he would be willing to pick me up from work if my tiredness continued.
• it didn't. thankfully. surprisingly. and just as suddenly. by around 3 i had perked up and was able to finish up a good amount of work before i left work.
• i left with a definite spring in my step. it kinda felt like friday, that's how good i felt by the time i left. so good in fact that my mind immediately went to "ooh what fun things can i eat to celebrate?" isn't it funny how that works. i eat when i'm sad. i'm mad. i'm stressed. AND i eat when i'm happy. it appears that whenever i feel i need a release, whether it's good or bad, food is my drug of choice.
• of course i knew i only had 300 calories to work with. it's very hard to splurge with that. so i came home to make roasted brussel sprouts. but part of me definitely wanted to go "wheeeeee! let's devour some nachos! yum!!" i got high just thinking about it. for reals.
• being on a "diet" is like being on a budget. and after several years of overspending, i've become pretty good at balancing my financial budget. now it's time to exercise the same discipline to my eating and health. being an adult is a bitch.
• but so far, things are manageable. having the numbers in black in white in front of me help me stay accountable. my plan is to get me down to a more manageable weight while i try to increase my fitness level and find a happy medium where i can eat sensibly but splurge a little and be in good enough shape to accommodate that.
• and then i'll get pregnant and all of that will get shot to hell. :)