in all my excitement, and anxiety, and planning, and denial, i haven't yet really taken the time to step back, and say "hey jenn, you done good." just typing that now, brings tears to my eyes. in all the weeks i've trained, i was concerned with being focused, driven, strong, motivated. i was thinking strategy, nutrition, hydration. and during the many times i thought for sure i could not do this, i was picking myself up, not allowing myself to fail. i was quick to see my flaws and weaknesses, but slow to feel proud of my accomplishments.
but today is that day. the day i look in the mirror and see the perfect little marathoner that i have become. somehow i had gotten it in my head that i couldn't feel this good because my training hadn't gone perfectly. i missed too many runs, drank too many beers, didn't cross-train enough, i thought. but no one's training ever goes perfectly. but that's what training is about! training is about pushing, feeling pain and learning to cope. it's about enduring imperfect conditions and flourishing anyway!
i look in the mirror now and certainly don't see the body of a marathoner. but that's kind of the miracle of it. i trained my short, chubby, not-biomechanically-built-for-running body to run 26.2 fucking miles. my imperfect body. doing seemingly impossible things.
so here i stand, in utter amazement of myself. it's funny, pride isn't a feeling i let myself feel very often. because i'm always looking to see how i can do better. or feeling like people do this kind of stuff every day. but today, is my day. to pat myself on the back and really appreciate me. as a runner. a strong, kick-ass, never-ever-gonna-quit runner.
20 comments:
Way to go! What a GREAT attitude to have!! I wish you tons of luck :)
You have reason to be proud -- this, the training in and of itself, is a huge triumph! And it will pay off because you will have a great marathon!
I am so proud of you too. :) I will be posted up before the half marathon split off, because I have another friend running the half. So I'd guess I will be somewhere between 12-13. Then I will head to the Great Highway and find a good spot where I can hopefully see you twice, like 18 and 24 or however that works. I'll have a variety of Luna bars, Clif Blocks, Gu's and a bottle of water on me, which you are welcome to. I might not have a sign, and I may or may not be with Maritza, but I'll look for your cute little face and your bib #. I really hope I see you- these things are so crazy busy, but it should work out.
Good luck and remember to have fun. Be that girl with the smile on her face that makes spectators want to become runners. :) Go get em!
And you should be proud! You've worked your ass off and you're going to kick some serious marathon ass!!
It is really great to read this...it is so awesome that everything is coming together for you at exactly the right time.
enjoy the expo, relax and be really proud tomorrow when you cross the starting line.
Have a great time … you'll never do a "first" marathon again, so make the most of the experience. Looking forward to your post-race post.
Awww...good for you! I wish I had taken the time from my neurotic, anxious, paranoid behavior to have my own realization that yes, I too, have done some incredible things with this short, chubby little body!
I say this with total conviction- you're going in the right mindset, and the right amount of training- you will have fun, and you will do great. I cannot wait to hear all about it! I will be thinking of you! Kick ass!
Good luck this weekend!! My good friend E-speed (http://runwithelizabeth.blogspot.com) is the 3:50 pace leader and will be at the expo. Say hi for me if you see her :)
Have a great time and smile when you cross that finish line!!!
Most def should be proud!!! I KNOW you will rock!! And most importantly have fun!! Go get em! I can't wait for this report!
Jenn, huh? . . .I would've never guessed.
omg, I was like "who's Jenn"? LOL oh it's so good to know your name now!!! you are awesome. nice post!! The journey contains about all the work, the race day is one day, it may or may not be your "best" day but you've worked so hard up til that day you should be nothing but proud for that.
Thinking of you today and hoping the race went swimmingly!!! You rock!
It's a beautiful day for the race - and I bet you did great!
I was thinking about you on my run this morning - really I was jealous because I know your weather was much better.
I hope you had a great race. Can't wait to read the report.
How'd it go? How'd it go?
Well written post, girlfriend! I can't wait to hear how it went for ya!!
you should be proud of all you have accomplished. :o)
how did race day go?
Are we gonna get a report soon? Jesus, you have me in suspence here!
Congratulations! I was out there running the half so I can attest to how hard this course is. You did it!!
I was sent here by Jen who spotted me coming to the finish and gave me a much needed shout out (I'm the 'other friend').
Congratulations! Way to rock that marathon!
I am SO stealing this from you!! Its perfect!!! i trained my short, chubby, not-biomechanically-built-for-running body to run 26.2 fucking miles. my imperfect body. doing seemingly impossible things.
I am sorry I didnt get the chance to track you yesterday...and I hope you did swell!! but life has been hectic for me this past week!!!
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