a change in momentum

this week started off super stressful but day by day turned totally frickin' awesome. i feel much better at and about work. i think the first 2 days were just pure brain overload. that and all the crazy crap my boss was pumping into my head to prepare me for the politics and shiz that can be involved. but once she got that out of the way, i could finally get my hands dirty with some work and i felt much more at ease. maybe i'm a huge nerd but i love, love, love doing a good job at work and it feels good to get good feedback so soon.

and even though i just started on monday, i got my first paycheck on thursday! frickin' sweet huh? so i get to send off a nice fat payment to one of my credit cards to finally put it to death. woot! also when i left my last job i got a check for unused vacation time! on top of that, i'm getting a few hundred from uncle sam. it feels like i won the lottery! not really, but the extra cash has been helpful in us getting some things for the new apartment, pay for moving, and for some new clothes for work since i mainly wore regular clothes to my last job. it feels nice to have that cushion. and even when my check engine light came on yesterday i didn't necesarily panic. luckily i have a very handy brother and he was able to diagnose the problem (for free! yay brother) and find and change the part for a mere $9.

as if things weren't good enough, patrick got notice from EDD that his unemployment has been extended. while most of me is guilty that we have mooched from the state for this long, i am glad we have that income coming in. it will keep us from dipping into our savings while helping us to keep building it as well. he's also getting a pretty good refund back. and he might have some good job news soon...

things have changed A LOT this week. and i can finally pause and breathe. i'm hoping that this is just the beginning. but for now, i'm concentrating on living in the moment and counting my blessings. on the drive to work this morning, i even thought i might be ready to start training for a big race again. oh, the crazy thoughts i get in my head when i'm happy! :)

day 3 = much better. i finally got to do some actual work. slowly getting my area situated. the person before me and the person before him seems to have been very disorganized because i'm still trying to connect some pieces and physically find everything. like today i had to take some product photography. after i finally found the cabinet key to access the camera, i found that the batteries in the camera were dead. but they were rechargable, so i thought there must be a charger... somewhere. not anywhere near the camera stuff, not in any outlet. then i saw like 4 sets of rechargeable batteries in a drawer, none of which worked. i couldn't find the tripod, which i would assume you would keep with the rest of the camera stuff, right?

it feels like they just let the previous dude run his own thing because no one knows anything about anything in the one-man show that is graphics. so i've got navigate my way and try to think like this other dude thought in order to find stuff. very frustrating. it will feel good when i can get things situated more logically (to me, anyway) and NEATLY! dude was a hot mess.

other than that, everyone has been super duper nice. going out of their way to welcome me and stop in and say hi.

that's all for now, peeps. sorry it's been work-heavy 'round here. i've been adjusting to my new schedule and just finally feeling not so stressed. so i feel a little more caught up on sleep and such now. i've got 2 weeks to pack before we move and i'm hoping that by mid-may, i can be in a groove with work, the new place, and a normal life :)

the dirt

i spent most of the day at a sales meeting with the company's sales reps and listening to manufacturer presentations. here are my thoughts about my new job, in no particular order.

1. it still feels weird to be part of a 'company'. in the mere 2 days since i've gone 'corporate', i now fully appreciate the movie 'office space'. i didn't realize how different a creative environment was to a place where they use the words 'profit margin' and 'back door deals'. while i've done a lot of work for corporate clients, this feels different. and honestly, kind of yucky. i much prefer having other creatives to rub shoulders with. not sales people and accountants.
   
2. i feel very much that this company, this industry in general, is one big boy's club.
3. i am the youngest person in the office. again.
   
4. i found out my direct boss, the marketing manager, is prego. two months prego. while i always try to remain positive, all i thought was 1. sh!t. hormones. and 2. f*ck. who's going to shield me from the scary suits who don't understand a lick about design and the process?
5. do people really enjoy wearing suits? who invented them anyway? thank god i don't have to wear them, but can't i go back to jeans?
6. my normal design style and the company's 'style' (if you want to call it that) are very, very different. they knew that. i know that. how in the hell am i going to find middle ground? while these men may know a lot about business, they are pretty much neanderthals when it comes to any sense of design or style. these are the kinds of people who always want the logo bigger. and they think that because i do this on a computer that it's some kind of instantaneous thing.
7. i will have a lot of people to please. my boss has said as such. they are expecting a lot from me.
8. *gulp*
9. and while i am confident i can rise to the challenge under most circumstances, i am in uncharted territory when it comes to me vs. the suits.
   
10. but all i can do is do my best. do my homework. and pay attention.
    
11. ultimately, i am looking at this as an opportunity to grow. get out of my comfort zone and grow as a designer. elevate them to a level they never thought possible. and do work that i never thought i could do. (in a good way. not in a i-sold-my-soul-to-the-devil kind of way)
12. i should probably not keep blogging about work unless i want to turn the way of the dooce. because even though she is wildly successful, i don't want her life.
    

different

you know how you feel when you've just flown to a totally different time zone, maybe even a whole other country, and you're trying to figure out where everything is? and even simple things like the street signs look different. and you've finally made it to your hotel and you can finally sit down and relax, but your mind is still reeling from taking it all in.

that's kinda how i feel right now after my first day of work. it's not good or bad. just different.

i can already tell that going from an agency setting to an in-house setting will really take some getting used to. going from a creative environment to a business/corporate/bottom line environment is also going to take a lot of getting used to. it's not overly oppressive. just different.
i'm trying my best to refrain from making any hard judgments this early in the game that may cloud or color my experience. after all, it is just the first day!

for the most part, right now i am 1. happy to have a job. 2. happy to be making more money. 3. happy to be working at a place where everyone seems genuinely friendly and welcoming! (where several people complimented my shoes)

tomorrow i get to go to a (really long) sales meeting at an office an hour and a half away. so it'll be me and my new boss in a car for 3 hours total tomorrow...not to mention glad-handing the entire sales staff, vendors, and manufacturers. should be...interesting?

one giant step

i start my new job on monday! i'm not exactly sure what i feel. i'm nervous, a little. i'm excited, a little. but for the most part i think i just want to dive in and get the weird beginning 'probationary' part over. i was telling patrick that i was still slightly disappointed that las vegas didn't work out. and i think it's because most of me is not happy living in the suburbia i grew up in. it's not a bad place. it just bores me to tears. and while the las vegas job would have been probably less creative than the one i took here, the adventure in a new city certainly excited me.

but feeling that way prevents me from seeing all the positives.

1. i get to stay close to my family, specifically my most adorable nephew.
2. i'm getting paid well.
3. i can still explore lots of california that i haven't explored.
4. i believe i can make more of an impact at this position than the other and maybe most.

i really must remember to focus on the positives.

another positive: patrick and i are getting our own apartment. FINALLY! the original plan was to stay at my parents' place until he found something, but things were starting to come to a head between him and my dad if those two spend any more time together in the house alone all day. so i figured to save my own sanity and preserve any shot of a good relationship between my future husband and his future in-laws, we needed to get our own space. we found a great deal at a quiet apartment complex in the next town over and we move in at the beginning of next month!

now while this is exciting news, my brain's energy is mostly focused on being totally super kick ass at this new job. so i don't think my brain has fully processed the weight of this next big step. i mean HELLO! i'm moving in with a DUDE! that i'm going to MARRY! lease is signed! hello!

on the one hand, i AM excited. we have wanted this for forever. on the other hand, i am still nervous about his unemployment. no matter what i do to improve the situation, until he finds gainful employment in an actual career, i can't relax. forget that he's still receiving unemployment checks for who knows how long. forget that we have money saved. forget that his parents are willing to float his boat (apparently indefinitely). i feel nervous being in a relationship where the other person can't fend for himself. it bothers me that he has no idea what he really wants to do in life. how can i rely on someone so directionless?

in the last few months i have come to the realization that perhaps i have the most potential for being the breadwinner of the family. which is not that weird in this day and age. most of my girl friends from college make significantly more than their spouses. in fact, i know a couple where the husband got laid off last year and remained unemployed so that he could stay home with the baby they had a few months ago. while that works for them, i'm not so sure that would work for me. as much of a 'feminist' as i claim to be, i want the man to work. and i want the option to figure out a work/stay home scenario. it sounds sexist and wrong, but i want my husband to be able to take care of me and my family. and i have strong doubts as to patrick's ability to do that.
i know that his unemployment is temporary and he will be able to find something. but what is that something exactly when he has no clear career goals or skills for that matter? again, what is it that i have to rely on?

i can't bring this up with him because it just makes him more depressed and despondent. and really how do you tell someone 'yeah i am really doubting your ability to be a real man?' i already know he feels emasculated by the whole situation anyway. but i'm hoping that being out on our own will put him in a better mood and frame of mind to make things happen.

in the meantime, i need to focus on the positive. something will work out. that something will be great. i must not lose faith.

CHEERS!

DUDES!!!!

i got a new jobby job!!

**dances the running man**

WOOT!

not only did i rock the socks off the marketing manager and general manager of this company but i was able to negotiate a higher salary than they originally offered! that is the first time i've EVER done anything like that in my entire life. and all i can say is THANK GOD i finally grew a pair and asked for what i was worth :) i'm honestly more proud of myself for that than i am for landing the job. seriously, being an adult totally rocks :)

and to top it off, when i gave notice at my current job they were totally sad. and bummed. and fear-stricken. not to toot my own horn but i knew they were thinking, 'shit. what the hell are we going to do without her?' because i do a lot. way more than my job description. honestly, they've gotten so used to me figuring out any problem or question, from small to big things that they've become lazy in learning and figuring things out themselves. and what they've entrusted me to there will be nearly impossible to teach anyone or even try to write down in the 2 weeks i have left.

but i felt really touched when my boss said that they were really sad to lose me. and that i was a really valuable employee. i confided that i considered asking for a raise, but figured since they were cutting everyone's hours that it was going to be impossible. and he said, i should have asked because he would have said yes! he said that i should never be afraid for ask for things like that, and that's what gave me to balls to negotiate a higher salary at my new gig.

so boo-yah!

here's to working hard. and working harder. and always always always finding a way to grow and be valuable to your team.

my new job isn't glamorous. it isn't Las Vegas. and it's in the same small sleepy suburban town that i live in now. but with what they're paying me i can be DEBT FREE in a year!! i can get web design experience that i don't currently have. and i get the feeling they hired me because of my extensive corporate branding experience. so i hope to be instrumental in bringing a fresh look to this company, standardizing their corporate identity, and getting them up to speed on email marketing campaigns which they don't currently take advantage of. and that my friends, is very exciting stuff for me. even if it does deal with wholesale flooring supplies ;)

if you would have asked my 22 year old design graduate self if i would have found that kind of work exciting, i would have rolled my eyes and said hell no. but what i've learned over the course of my 10 year career is that everyone deserves good design. and if i can help flooring supplies get sold so that people can have houses to live in and buildings to work in and places to play, then hey i'm pretty happy about that.

thank you guys for all your support. it's been so rough. and i know it's been rough for a lot of people out there. and all i can say is, keep the faith, keep at it and most of all, believe in yourself.

i feel like celebrating

the interview went really well. we saw eye to eye on a lot of things and was pleased to hear her keep saying 'good! good!'. it also appears our salary expectations are similar, which was what i was worried about the most. i will hear soon as to whether i get called back for a second interview at the end of the month. and from what it sounds like, i'm the only currently employed designer they are interviewing. hmmmm?

small miracle

i have survived 2 days with no snacking and no eating past 6:30. we even went on a walk each day.

i <3 spring.

maybe too late to slim down and tone up for bikini season, but i'll take any steps toward good health any day.

forward

i have another interview! on thursday!

the official word

Las Vegas called. she said she really liked me and really wanted to hire me but that they were pressured to go with an internal candidate. but she said she would definitely keep me in mind if a position opened up. she sounded pretty disappointed. and i felt better because i really felt like we hit it off and that it was gonna be a good fit. and at least i wasn't imagining that. so now we're linkedin and hopefully my good impression will lead to something.

so i guess for all the ways to be rejected, that was the best possible way. it reaffirms that i've still got it and like i said earlier a good interview is still a victory.

so we plod along again. opportunity is on the horizon. i know it.

no news is still news?

no word yet. and technically they are still within their deadline. they should have finished their interviews sometime last week. so it's not entirely bad that i haven't heard back yet. but i'm tired of waiting. tired of giving myself mini-heart attacks every time my phone goes off or my inbox gets a new email. and i've resisted the urge to post every day about the waiting. oh the waiting. because who wants to read a blog post every day that read, 'nothing yet. my impatience grows. looking for vodka.'?

i haven't been able to keep my mind off of it. i try and think happy positive thoughts. to, you know, sway the universe. even though i've done everything i can do at this point. then i try to think 'realistically' and brace myself for the possible rejection. but some part of me isn't ready to give up and say no until the fat lady sings. then i try to distract myself. but work is only frustrating the hell out of me right now. and once i get home my idle mind just swirls and swirls in its own worry and impatience.

i still haven't even unpacked from the trip. or put away the laundry i did before i left. i'm a mess.

and it's sad. or is the right word pathetic? i just can't get my mind unstuck from waiting. it's my least favorite thing to do. and i am very bad at it.

part of me feels that if i was their first choice i would have heard back by now, considering it seemed like they wanted to find someone sooner rather than later. and that the only reason i haven't heard back is because they are still waiting for their first choice to accept their offer. and the more time passes, the less my chances are of being called with good news.

granted it's only tuesday. so i think, maybe they haven't decided yet. maybe they haven't gotten everything approved by corporate. maybe. maybe. maybe.

it's so frustrating because i felt like i totally nailed the interview. it really felt like one of the best interviews i ever gave/had. though i do recognize that everyone else may have given the interview of their lives and while i believe i am fully qualified (if not over-qualified), i am sure every candidate they interviewed was qualified too. i know that a rejection at this point doesn't mean i didn't do awesome and that i am not qualified. it just means that i wasn't the right fit.

but at this point, i'm sick of hearing 'you're great but we are slow and not hiring' or 'you're great, but no thank you'. i hate my job. i want out. and i know i can do better. something's gotta give.

because i have wrought myself sick over this already, i have decided that the answer must be 'no' and i have to move on. (especially since i sent a follow up email this morning and haven't yet received a response, even though their normal response time has been 24hrs) i am sick of this holding pattern. i must return to the land of the living and functional.

UPDATE: i feel much saner now after having written this. thank you blogger.

march, already?

...and i'm back.

and i gave one of the best interviews i've ever given. i was a little nervous going in, but once i started talking it was so easy and natural. i would be surprised if i didn't get the job. but i'm not counting on it either. i mean what if everyone else gave the interview of their lives? regardless, though, i'm am very proud of my effort and it was such a boost to know i've still got it together. ya dig?

we weren't totally debaucherous in sin city, since we were there for business and for less than 36 hours. though i did have a run in with my nemesis, tequila, after my interview. the drive there and back, adjusting to the dryness of the desert, and the indoor second hand smoke took a pretty good toll on us. we got home late sunday night, i had jury duty in the morning, was relesased by 10:30 to go back to work and fix shit that got messed up in the day i was gone. so i got home monday night, ate dinner, then slept.

now i feel more normal. and must resume my lenten promise. my body feels all outta whack and i need to be good to it again.

p.s. keep praying. they have other candidates to interview this week, so i should know sometime next week.

can i get an amen?

this time tomorrow, pattycakes and i will be on the road to las vegas. i have a job interview on friday afternoon. i have a good feeling about this one. send us happy thoughts, yeah? thanks :)

boost

so i fully admit i do not have the healthiest habits in the world. or even on the block. i kept telling myself i should take a multivitamin or something. but i am so adverse to popping any kind of pill. it's hard enough for me to remember to take the meds i have to take.

but one day i was bored and i went to target and i remembered that my 4 year old nephew loves to take his gummy vitamins. and i thought, hey, i like candy! i'll take candy vitamins too! i thought i would have to double dose on a kids vitamin, but they have gummy vitamins for adults too! yay!

they even have OMEGA 3s in gummies! hurrah! no nasty huge ass fish oil pill to take. i heard you burp up fish oil all day. groddy to the max. so i bought a bottle of target brand berry gummy multis for adults and a lil critters omega 3 gummies.

and being the kid that i am i look forward to taking my vitamins. i usually have them after lunch as my 'dessert'. it's like eating a pack of fruit snacks or something. i've found that in the month i've been using them i'm a lot more, ahem, regular, if you know what i mean. and my nails and hair have grown a lot faster.

i have since done some online research and found that there is an adult gummy version of the omega 3s, but i think i'll stick to the kids one since it seems to be working well for me. i know that taking vitamins isn't a novel idea, but still i thought i'd share anyway. the gummy verisons rock!

can't get this outta my head.

i want her trainer.

a new season

they say that most new years resolutions have fizzled by valentines day. a mere 45 days into the year! but today provides another opportunity for renewed resolve: ash wednesday the beginning of lent. 40 days and 40 nights of reflection and repentance.

now i understand not everyone is catholic, and many catholics just use this time as a social exercise to gripe about giving up chocolate or soda or facebook. but regardless of your faith or practice, it's never a bad idea to focus inwardly and build yourself up for the new season of spring.

my lenten practice this year will be about being more mindful of my body: what i put into it, how i treat it, take care of it, and appreciate it.

thanks

thanks for all of your responses. ya'll made it quite clear to me that this is not my responsibility (even though it has been my stress for the last year) and it just took a HUGE load off of my shoulders. not that i don't have my own shiz to take care of. but trying to carry it all just about did me in. but now, i feel lighter. and stronger. to carry out my end of the bargain and take of business.

and not that i want to dwell, but more as a note to myself, i have this habit of wanting to take care of other people. and i'm not even saying it to try to make myself look good. it's just that when someone i care about, or even just know says they're upset, or hungry or whatever, my brain and heart automatically go to 'what can i do to help?' and i don't feel better until i can contribute something. it's weird. i could go into all the psychobabble as to why i do it and blah blah. but it's pointless. the point is, i'm very empathetic. but i don't have to save the friggin' world to be a good person.

moving on. we spent very little at the cuzzo's birthday bc we avoided dinner out with them entirely, though i found out later dinner was on the hostess. but still, i can't go assuming that every family outing i go on will be funded by my aunts or uncles. it was a good exercise in restraint for us. the whole gang went bowling afterward which was also funded by the hostess. my uncle even bought me and patrick a pitcher of beer. my family is usually generous in this manner, but i like to not assume. and well i don't like spending their money willynilly either. so all in all a fun night on very little cash.

i realize this blog has been mainly about my finances and personal life. i'm just not feeling the whole running thing as much. and i'm not gonna beat myself up about it. i think i'm starting to get a handle on other things in life and i just can't handle trying to tackle everything at once. my brain can only handle one thing at a time i guess. so ONE: get spending under control. working on it. TWO: find a new job/get more income. working on it. (i've been getting some responses back, even if to say they aren't hiring, but it makes me feel better that my emails aren't just disappearing into space. and i have a couple prospects going) THREE: working out. will have to wait. FOUR: eating healthy. will have to wait.

i know it IS technically possible to work on all 4 at once. but yeah, not my brain. but i will keep on keeping on.

oh and p.s. you know what habit i did manage to break? like just cold turkey? out of the blue and totally suddenly? my nail biting habit. going on over 2 months now. FINALLY.

i need your advice

if you've read my blog for any length of time you know that

1. my fiance is unemployed and has been for exactly a year now.
2. i am experiencing furloughs at my job.
3. i have credit card debt and student loans.

we just got a notice that pattycake is not eligible for the last extension of unemployment like we thought. we're appealing it, but we're uncertain how they will rule. i'm preparing for the worst.

right now we have about $8k saved in the bank which can cover his expenses for about 5 months. if i help pay his bills, our savings could float us for 8 months total. longer if he can find something, anything part-time. i'm considering getting a second job. just so we can keep saving something every month.

his parents, after hearing our predicament offered to send us money from an account they set up a long time ago to help patrick buy his first house (once he finally found a wife). they would rather i put my extra money towards my debt than use it to help pay patrick's bills.

i'm a little speechless.

i'm resistant to just take money. i feel like we're old enough that running to our parents is unacceptable. it's bad enough we have to live with mine, but now his parents' are paying our bills? it's not exactly pride, but the idea of 'no, i have to do this alone.'

part of me also feels like, 'no, i have to struggle.' i got myself into this mess, we got ourselves into this mess we have to feel the pain and dig ourselves out. i feel like we really have to feel and earn this lesson.

part of me feels overwhelmed and overloved that we have people in our lives who have the means to help us in such a big way. but part of me feels like that money should wait to be used for what it was meant for, especially if we really can find a way to float this ourselves. even though i understand that this money is a gift they had always intended on giving us, it's just too much for me to take.

i don't think it's the kind of thing that will have strings attached, but you also never know. am i going to feel in debt to them?

but if we do take help from them, and i can start knocking out my debt like a super champ, and i don't have to get a second job, i can spend my time taking some classes i've been meaning and needing to take. i will have the time to do a lot of the professional development i haven't been doing. it does make me feel like i could breathe a little easier.

obviously i won't really be able to sleep at night until he is gainfully employed and we can support ourselves, which is something his parents can't help us with.

so what do you think peeps? should we consider this magic parent fund an extension of our savings so i can start attacking my debt? or should we act like we don't even know it's there and fight it out on our own?

when you live with a picky eater and more budget rambling

so far, the no-spending rule has been working, with one minor hiccup. there was one night that my parents were annoying us more than usual and we had to escape the blare of fox news on the tv. my dad listens to it at an uncomfortably high volume because he's losing his hearing. i actually got up in the middle of eating a chicken wing at dinner because i just couldn't stand the noise and negativity. don't get me wrong i love my parents, and i don't care that politically our ideologies are different, but after a long day at work with constant noise and interruptions, the LAST thing i want to hear at home is more debbie downer (and innacurate) talk about politics and the economy. and since it's their house, i let them have their space. patty cakes and i had got the hell outta there. i found $30 in my pocket earlier that week and figured it wasn't too naughty of us to spend 'found' money at in-n-out burger to save our sanity. afterward we spent the evening at the library magazine section of barnes and noble. a cheap but fun accidental date.

we bought groceries last week and they should last us well into next week. i/we have cooked a good number of meals for ourselves this week, but we also rely heavily on packaged and frozen food, which i don't like from a nutritional standpoint. most of my meals come from stuff my parents make or stuff i make for myself (patrick hates vegetables and i just don't have the energy sometimes to eat only the few he does like or come up with ways he will like new stuff). for me the packaged food comes into play for about 50% of the meals i share with patrick. because patrick doesn't like to or doesn't want to cook, he relies much more heavily on the packaged food or leftovers from meals i make for both of us. i'm hoping to make changes to healthier grocery shopping, but i didn't want to take way all of the boy's fast food and grocery indulgences at one time. right now the focus is getting our spending down as low as possible and once we get that habit going, i can focus on substituting our crappy food with healthier alternatives.

but i'm sure i'm not alone in having to deal with their family's different eating habits and preferences. i would have infinitely less stress about meal preparation if patrick ate even half the things i eat (namely vegetables). So what do you all do about the picky eaters in your house? How do you trick get the junk-food junkies to eat healthy?

as for other spending, the only thing i've bought in the last week is gas and turbo tax. my only other non-regularly-monthly-scheduled expenses this month are an oil change (which i might try to get my brother to do so all i have to spend money on is an new oil filter and the actual oil) and a doctor's visit. i got my gym to reduce my membership fees by 30% by threatening to cancel. patrick got them down to $7/month for his membership by explaining his current unemployment situation. i even went back to return a few things i purchased at the end of january WITHOUT picking up anything extra. it was all about having tunnel vision and walking straight to the customer service counter which was thankfully at the front of the store.

it's amazing how much the impulse to buy is so strong. new things at the store are so shiny and new and i don't know what it is but i've just been so conditioned to put pretty things in my cart because because oooooh that's cool and i want. i need. it's an interesting feeling for me to feel that physical and emotional rush of wanting to buy something because it's new and shiny and pretty and whatever be aware of it and have to calm that impulse. put the stuff back on the shelf and walk run out.

i had the biggest problem when it came to my little nephew. resisting the urge to spoil the most adorable creature on earth who you love with all of your heart has been a very tough lesson for me to learn. but ultimately it came down to the fact that 1. i don't have the money to do that like i used to 2. i am now a part of a couple and i have to put our needs and goals ahead of my own and 3. i don't want to teach my nephew that money grows on trees and spoil him like veruca salt. i find he loves me just as much without all the treats i used to give him because of all the fun and time we share together. and it makes the gifts i do give him for christmas and his birthday all the more special and meaningful.

it's a little sickening for me to think i'm that consumer driven. i mean it's kind of a joke that women find shopping to be a hobby, so i can't be the only one. i'm not used to spending a lot of time at home. whenever i get bored or restless my brain automatically thinks of all the things i could do out. i enjoy the stimulation and energy of going and being out. i mean i'm the kind of girl who enjoys spending an hour just getting ready to go out. but now i have to retrain my brain to think of all the things i could do at home. not nearly as glamorous but infinitely more economical. i also find i'm cleaning more and getting more stuff done around the house. and working a lot more on personal and professional development. it's amazing how much more efficient you can be when you spend less time going out to buy stuff. i know i know, not a revolutionary idea, but it's definitely a new habit for me.

the smallest month of the year

pattycakes and i have declared february 'eat at home' month. we are challenging ourselves NOT to eat out all month. (besides the commitment we already made for my cousin's birthday)

our budget is pretty lean yet i still find it ridiculous how much money we spend on eating out. mainly because we eat out when we're lazy and/or bored. i would estimate that only 25% of the time that we eat out is 'quality time' spent having a 'quality dining experience', where we're actually relaxed, taking our time, enjoying each other's company, trying something new. and not just eating for the sake of eating. ya know? and that bothers me. i may as well eat a frozen meal or whip something easy up at home and spend a few dollars than spend like $16 for us to eat fast food. or worse $40 to sit down at our local casual brewery (even if their french onion soup is FRICKIN' AWESOME) ya dig?

though i wish patrick enjoyed cooking more because i think that is a great way to spend some quality couple time. most of the time it's me alone in the kitchen, which is also sometimes nice. because most of the time when it's the two of us i'm frustrated at him being slow or asking too many questions. hmmm...

i've also imposed a no-buy for non-essentials on myself. i think i wanna see just how little i can spend in a month. while i've been good at staying within my budget every month, i still think i'm spending money on things i don't necessarily need. like the, 8 or so, tubes of lipstick i've acquired in the last 2 months or so. and don't even get me started on eye makeup. the post xmas sales were too great for this makeup junkie to resist. i have MORE than enough to last me forever.

i'm definitely one of those people who can't resist a deal. shopping itself gives me a high, but getting good shiz at a discount sends me over the edge. i think i've been buying pretty, pretty makeup to make up for my mood lately.

if all goes well, we're looking at more than doubling what we normally put into savings. which is a big deal for the smallest month of the year.