too much fun for one

busy busy weekend here, kids. so busy i totally overslept this morning. but never fear, a post-work nap led to a great evening workout: easy 2 miler, some time in the weight room working on lower body, and day one of week one in the push ups challenge. my second initial test yielded 13 pushups, so averaged my first test of 10 with 13 and settled on the middle level. if i was hardcore i'd really push myself, but this is the summer of type b, remember? so my pushup sets went 7, 7, 5, 4, 7 for a total of 30! i was taking less than the 60 second break in between. but i'm sure as time progresses i'll need em!

as for the weekend, i spent the saturday afternoon with the fam in bodega bay. it was a great day for the beach. overcast, but warm and breezy. perfect for playing in the sand, getting dirty, and eating bbq! i am overjoyed that my nephew loves the beach. i was afraid he might be like his dad and be grossed out by sand and sea water. but nope, we chased waves, buried each other in sand, and raced up and down the beach chasing birds. i'll spare you the pictures of my brothers totally smoking me in a sprint down the beach. at least i've got them in the endurance department.

we're going to bodega bay!

ooh! the water is cold!

lots of pretty dogs to pet!

boys can hula hoop too!

carting the monchichi on my back counts as cross-training, right?

what scheme is he plotting next? (i need to photoshop that grill out of the picture if i'm ever going to get it printed)

organic brick oven french bread! and homemade scones! biscotti! sticky buns!

cute lily pond in occidental, ca

ack! BIRDS!

that night, i drove up to sf to have dinner with sg. and help him with grocery shopping. lucky for him i like that kind of stuff. plus, what better way to get to know someone than to see firsthand their food habits? it is very apparent that i will be in charge of nutrition in the relationship. but he seems very amenable to it. sg rewarded my help with his errands by taking me on a walk up to a park that overlooked the bay, spanning from bridge to bridge. we sat, drank our beer, talked, cuddled while the fog rolled in. san francisco couldn't be a more perfect place to fall in love.

the next morning, we went to aids walk sf. he was volunteering with ws. so i smiled and made polite talk with the coworkers and while he schmoozed i took off with my camera to take in the sights:

i was so tempted to steal these dogs! first order of business after getting my own place is getting a boston terrier!

children's playground, golden gate park

some of them told me it can take up to 3 hours for them to get all dolled up!

www.fatchancebellydance.com

sg at the grill. thankfully, god did not ignore my prayer about wanting my boy to have a great ass. ws puts out a phenomenal spread for its team of walkers. i had my fill of grilled portabellas, asparagus, and salmon.

the real san francisco treat

are you sick of us yet? i'm not.

after our philanthropic efforts we trekked home and napped before dinner. we rode the cable car downtown, sipped on soup, and waited with the masses to watch batman. but the wait was totally worth it!

then sadly, i had to make the trek home and another pefect weekend came to an end. next weeked should be interesting though. i'm meeting some of his friends. and he's meeting the 'rents!

summertime lsd

first long run of training and i made a dumb rookie mistake. i let my enthusiasm get the better of me. check out my splits: 12:21, 11:31, 12:41, 13:16, 14:30, 12:37 for a total time of 1:17 for a 6 miler. i tried to recapture my "speed" from thursday and got my ass handed to me instead. but it's all good, i finished. though i do attribute my slowness to not enough hydration, woman issues, and possibly not enough food yesterday. i didn't remember i was running my lsd today until dinner. and i ate light pretty all day.

which explains my new weight: 165! so that means i'm down 6 pounds in 18 days. not bad. not bad.

i was also rewarded at the end of my run when i looked up at the tv and saw the new kids' video playing! did i tell you i'm seeing them in concert in october! WOOT! my love for jordan knight still lives! here's a clip of their video. i'm off to bodega bay with the fam bam and i'm bringing my hula hoop!

it just keeps getting better

55:33.

that's how fast i ran my 5-miler this morning.

*blink* *blink*

you read that right. 55:33. um hello, that's like my fastest time EVER for a 5 miler. and i wasn't even trying. and i'm only in the zygote stage of training. holy shite.

the schedule called for a tempo run, but since i'm still in a run/walk phase, i stuck with intervals. i started off at a walk: 10:30 pace, then after awhile increased the walk to a 12:00 trot, then after awhile increased the running pace to 10:00, then finally took out the slow trot altogether and ran the last mile at a 10:00 pace, kicking it up to 7.2 mph to finish. WHEW!

it was altogether exhilirating. and empowering. getting this 5 miler under my belt, with energy to spare gives me hope that a half mary pr is in my future. it's also a lesson that pizza, rice, and goobers in moderate amounts makes me a faster runner.

i have also tinkered around the 100 pushups challenge site. i haven't read it in depth so i haven't yet officially started. i tried it out today and did 10. i probably had 2 more in me, but was afraid i'd smash my face into the floor if i tried. i think i'll try a solid attempt tonight or tomorrow.

party on, kids!

life. is. good.

first things first. i'm registered and paid to run the rock n roll half marathon in san jose october 5. WOOT! i am beyond excited. and beyond happy to be running again. i was worried that the runner in me had died over the last 6 months, but no. she was just carboloading...

i have a race in mind for me and the monchichi next month. it's the same race i broke my 5k pr. i'm not deluded enough to think i can get another pr at this race, but it will please me to no end to see my little nephew run across the finish line and receive his first medal. the little guy can run like a champ and it is my goal to train him to be my running partner.

today i did another run/walk, this time at a 1:2 interval, with my running pace increased to a 10:30 pace. felt very good. i got in 2.25 miles and called it a day. i have to start eating more carbs. i've cut way, way back, trying not to eat anything but fruits, veggies, beer, and the occasional chocolate treat, but it looks like i can start adding cereal back into my morning regimen. i did have a chocolate soy milk afterwards though. yum.

now onto the news you've all been waiting for. check out the cuteness that is me and sg:
seriously, don't you just want to eat us up with a spoon?!

i drove up saturday after spending the morning with the nephew and the first thing i got when i got out of my car was a kiss and a hug. the weak knees started then. he showed me his ridiculously immaculate apartment. i met his roommate who stashes scientology propaganda in the bathroom, then we headed out into the sunshine. from his apartment in russian hill, we trekked to coit tower then made our way to north beach for lunch al fresco. from there we made it to the wharf to take a boat 'round the bay, then walked along the marina where he showed me his office (williams sonoma headquarters). we walked up to pier 39 to have dinner before taking another long walk home.

i spent the night at my grandma's house and the next morning dished the dirt to my aunt and cousin. i met him in the morning for breakfast where we planned a day of shopping. we trekked to union square and he took me through the williams sonoma flagship store. it was absolutely adorable watching him geek out about housewares. and he got to watch me geek out about the entire third floor filled with beautiful gourmet goodies! we went to niketown, tried on jeans at old navy, attempted to get into the apple store, but decided to go eat instead. we walked to the ferry building for a late lunch and shared burgers and garlic fries. by then we were about beat but still had to walk back to the car in union square. we got home, napped, then he made me dinner before sending me on my way back home.

doesn't that all just sound like a dream? we held hands the entire time and walked around with giddy grins the entire time. we talked and talked and talked and laughed and laughed like we were the only 2 people on earth. we couldn't stop remarking at just how similar we were, stopping every so often to exclaim "ME TOO!" when one of us would bring up some random topic. there were moments during this weekend we just looked at each other and said, "where the hell have you been the last 30 years?!"

both of us revealed that we had been praying to find someone like each other. and i dare say sg is more than i ever could have hoped for. he is more than what i was too scared to hope for because i never thought it would be possible. and after the shock had worn off that this was indeed real, together we offered up a prayer of thanksgiving to the GOD we knew had orchestrated this from the beginning.

i know that this all sounds so sudden, so crazy, so far fetched. i KNOW! i could barely believe it myself in the beginning. but i think i knew from the first phone conversation with him that he was different. that i was in the for ride of my life with him.

this is it kids. he is it. life. is. good.

on strike

blogger is not letting me post pictures. and until it will let me post the cuteness that is me and sg, you'll have to wait on deets of our weekend.

and i'm telling you, it was fa-bu-lous.

xoxo

in less than 24 hours, i will be kissing this boy all over san francisco. go ahead, be a hater. i'll be too busy being weak in the knees.

and i know you were all DYING to know what he looks like!

did i mention he called me today just to hear my voice? because he missed me.

*sigh*

oh, the fun!

yesterday, while i was in the store to buy a tent for my upcoming 30th birthday camping extravaganza, i came across a rack of things shiny and bright. HULA HOOPS! that light up! holy crap why do i not have one?!

i yanked one off the shelf and tested it out. and boy did i work up a sweat. mainly from laughing at myself. i was pretty good with a hula hoop back in the day! i grabbed a smaller one for the nephew and proceeded to hula hoop my way around the store up to the check out.

and i've been practicing ever since. this thing rocks! if i keep this up, i'll have some awesome abs in no time!

on another note, i just got off the phone with the gent. seriously, it's absolutely ridiculous the grin he leaves on my face all day. i find i can't sleep after talking to him. dudes, you are in for a sickly sweet date update after this weekend. he asked if he could hold my hand! like hel-lo sweetest question ever! it's ridiculous, i tell ya. ri-diculous!

*sigh* is it saturday yet?

type b is a-ok

last night i got to the gym only to realize i didn't pack my shoes! argh! ah well, shit happens.

this morning i made up for it with a glorious 3 mile run. actually i should say run/walk. i never wanted to do a run/walk program, deeming it only for sissies, but it worked for my marathon, so i figure it'll work now. it'll help build me back up because a run/walk is much more enjoyable than a short run filled with cursing and wheezing. the 3 miles flew by. right now i'm on a 1:1 ratio and running at a good 11:00 clip during the running portions. i'm looking to increase the running ratio while maintaining that pace. who knows, maybe this will make me the faster runner i always wanted to be! for now, i'm a happy runner.

i'm changing plans to run the rnr san jose half marathon in october, with an eye on running CIM in december. i'll see how i feel, see how hectic life is at that point and decide if i can continue on for a marathon. i'm trying to be realistic, but i can't hide the fact that i am ITCHING to run another marathon. i would like to get another one under my belt before grad school starts when i know for sure i won't have time.

sg and i talked last night and we're hatching plans for a fun filled day in sf on saturday. the boy makes me giddy people. giddy. can it really be possible that everything is finally falling into place?

i'm scared to jinx it!

girls on the run

so hm training got off to a rip roaring start yesterday. NOT. i totally missed my workout. but i have my gym bag packed and am hitting the treadmill after class tonight.

in other running news, i just started work on a pro-bono freelance project for the sf chapter of girls on the run. on their website they describe themselves thusly:

Girls on the Run of the Bay Area is a life-changing, experiential learning program for girls ages 8 to 13. The programs combine training for a 5K or 1-mile community running event with healthy living education. Our curriculum-based programs instill self-esteem and strong values through health education, life skills development, mentoring relationships, and physical training.

We offer 10-week programs during the fall and spring seasons. Volunteer coaches engage the girls in games and running-based workouts that encourage emotional, social, psychological and physical development. The girls meet twice each week after school for a total of 20 one-hour sessions.

pretty cool, huh? i am working on some marketing materials for a campaign to culminate at an event at the bridge to bridge race in the fall. dean karnazes and his daughter are apparently very involved with the group, and he sits on their board! i'm super excited about working with them. i was hesitant to become a coach, but if i can marry my two passions, design and running, towards the cause of female empowerment and fitness, then that's even better!

girls on the run has chapters all through the u.s. if you're interested in getting involved. there are a million and one ways to contribute time, energy, or resources.

i have a good feeling about this

the title says it all. first date with southern gent went very well. but i knew that it would. i knew from our phone conversations that i'd really like him in person. it's hard for me to say exactly why, i just did. there's a whole bunch more going through my head right now but i don't think it's quite synthesized to a point where it would make sense on paper. i just have a good feeling about him. sorry for the lack of juicy details folks. but if things progress the way i would like them to, then we're all in for juicy stories later.

in other news, i bought my first 2 gmat prep books today. i'm scared shitless and excited all at the same time. i had a total geek out moment at work on thursday in our marketing meeting where i felt totally smart and inspired. so b-school felt all the more appealing to me then. i'm looking at 2 programs: sac state and sf state. for both programs, i need to take a core of fundmental business classes that i never took in undergrad, crap like accounting and finance. ugh. if i go full time it will take me a year. part time most likely a year and a half. then i can take the graduate level classes and i plan to do that full time to get it done in 2 years. so my next steps are studying for gmats, finding ways to fund my education, either through working for someone with education benefits or sucking it up and taking out loans. it's enough to make my head spin, but i think it will all fall into place.

also in other news, half marathon training begins tomorrow. i'm pretty stoaked about it. it feels good to be running again. i even weighed myself after my run on friday and i'm down 2 pounds! of course 4th of july weekend ruined al that i'm sure, but i'm back on the wagon and it feels good :)

hope y'all had a great holiday weekend. it's back to work tomorrow! boooooo!

kicking ass and taking names

before i was a runner, i was a kickboxer. and i was in the best shape of my life. it's the perfect workout cardiovascularly and you can shape some nice muscles and abs all without lifting a weight. this morning i took the best kickboxing class i've taken in like 8 years. this class will totally replace any speed workout, fill your quota of plyometrics, open up your hips, and make your glutes beg for mercy.

i now have a girl crush on rhoda, the turbo kickbox instructor at 24hour fitness. i love you. and your abs. and i worship at the altar of your sidekick!

should you judge a dude by his blog?

so. southern gent and i have been talking all week. the little girl in me has just about fallen in love with him, what with his oh-so cute accent and deep, deep voice. accents are my kryptonite. part of me knows these feelings of giddiness might come crashing down once i meet him in person on sunday. but for the meantime, it's fun to get swept up. he might very well be an ogre in real life, but for the time being i'm flirting on the phone with what sounds like a very intelligent, nerdy in a sexy way, dude who calls me beautiful every other word and makes me laugh. i know, i'm such a school girl.

but i'm not entirely hopeless. i, of course, googled him. when i googled his name, all i found was a review he and his friend wrote about some hotels they stayed at in japan and his corporate giving page for the AIDS walk coming up. normal enough stuff that says his story checks out.

then i googled his match user name. and came up with 2 blogs. one he wrote in college and another he wrote about 4 years ago. is it fair to judge someone based on what they wrote in their journal back in college? even 4 years ago? how would i feel if he somehow found my blog and read it?

there wasn't anything on there to send up red flags (except his admitting to a very large pron collection EW! which i have mixed feelings about) during these times he dated a lot. which i guess is normal for most people. i had a much different experience because i went to a college with nearly all gay men and i dated only the ex after college for 5 years. but it was interesting to read him fall in and out of love. mainly his blogs were a space to just vent and write, so a lot of it was pretty emo. which i guess is to be expected of one's journal.

i thought that by googling him i'd find out whether his story checks out or not. all signs point to not a pyscho killer, so that's good. but i think knowing too much has killed the mood, so to speak. do i let him know i've been reading up on him? how much of what i read should i let cloud my judgement about him? would i want someone to judge me in the same way?

my instincts tell me to just file all that data in the back of my mind and let him present himself the way he is today. heaven knows i grew up a ton in my late 20s. no one wants to be judged by who they were when they were 21-25. which i guess is indicative of why i never got married in my 20s.

so it's with a hopeful heart, an open mind, and a watchful eye that i go into our first meet on sunday. i'll keep y'all posted. have a safe and happy fourth! it's my own personal independence day and granny's 92nd birthday party. time to celebrate some girl power, don't you think?

mum's the word

i don't want to jinx it.

gut check

so you know how yesterday i was riding high, singing "i am pretty, oh so pretty" from the rooftops? i ended all that by getting on the scale this morning after my 2 miler.

171, it said. ONE. FREAKIN'. SEVENTY. ONE. my 6 year old cousin can't even count that high!

it really honestly comes as no surprise. it's even a little down from when the nurse took my weight at my physical last month. it's such an absurdly high number that i didn't even hesitate to post it for all the world to see. it's like really? my body can actually weigh that much? i actually have that much excess crap to haul around?

this weight puts me just over the line of obese. dudes! i'm OBESE! it's so ridiculous, it's funny. except it's neither ridiculous. nor funny. it's fact. sobering. but not grave.

the good news is all signs point to good health. i'm very good on the cholesterol front, both good and bad. blood pressure, blood sugar, thyroid. all good. i have my "youth" to thank for that because lord knows my genetics are working against me.

the other good news is i've been down this road before so many times. i gain, i lose, i gain, i lose. i've been anywhere from a size 4 to a 12, most of the time settling around a size 8. and i've come to a point in my life where i'm not nearly as neurotic about my size as i used to be. i've slowly built up a wardrobe of bigger spring and summer clothes and have been able to strut around as usual.

even so, i know i should lose some poundage. obesity ain't no joke. and as i've said before my genetics predispose me to a multitude of health risks. but i refuse to get all neurotic about counting calories or counting pounds. or counting miles for that matter. after a 6 month hiatus, i think the running bug has bit again and i feel like i'm finally on track. the fact that i've run 4 out of the last 5 days is a good start. and the running has so far kept my eating in check. but i'm hoping to take a less "type a" approach to training this time. i think it's time to have some FUN with running, don't you?

of course, this could all change as my 12-year high school reunion approaches in december. (we missed out 10th. something about the reunion company we were working with going bankrupt) but for now, i'm up for a fun summer of running.

allow me to toot my own horn

it was very nice to find the following two emails this morning:

from pot, phd:

I completely understand. Thanks for the nice complements however.

That said I enjoyed getting to know you and I wish you the best of luck in your life.

I want you to know that I really appreciate you getting back to me. You are going to make an awesome girlfriend for some lucky bastard out there! ;-)

Warmest Regards,
pot, phd

and from the fed, after our brunch meet on saturday:

Hey, I just wanted to say again that I had a great time today and it very nice meeting you in person today. It was very refreshing to finally meet someone "normal". Oh and for the record, you are so not a nerd. I really dig your personality and I would definitely like to see you again. I probably should have said this in person but you looked really nice today. I'll give you a call sometime this week.

and my convo with southern gent went well today. he even called me "striking". i've never been called that before. (though he also called me exotic which is a half-strike against him because i HATE when people call me that) i don't know what it is. even though i'm pretty happy with what i see in the mirror everyday, it's still always an unexpected boost when a guy compliments your looks. especially when it doesn't feel skeevy. i guess that even at 30, i've still "got it".

and without sounding too self-deprecating, this all comes as a huge surprise to me. i thought for sure i'd get NO hits. i thought for sure there were only trolls out there. i thought for sure this whole match thing would be totally demoralizing. but lo and behold, there really are normal guys out there looking for the real thing.

granted i've only been at it a month, so there is the possibility i might just burn through every eligible bachelor in northern california. but so far this experience has been worth the money. even if i don't find love yet, i'm ok with that. i've got other things going on.

and i think this is the first time EVER since i grew boobs that i feel this happy, dare i say lucky, that i'm single. i know this all sounds so optimistic now, so don't burst my bubble. but for the first time i finally feel like i won't settle. i know how demoralizing it feels to be with the wrong person. at the time i didn't realize how much of me was "dead" because of the relationship i was in. never again am i going to let that happen.

and yet, somehow i've managed avoid the bitterness many people associate with the singlehood. this july 4th marks my 2 year anniversary of personal independence from the ex. and in that time i've experienced great sadness, utter confusion, searing anger, and most of all heartbreak. there were times i felt like i didn't even know who i was. and there were many days and months of depression. the dull ache of not knowing what the hell to do. about anything.

but with time, i muddled through. and never once was i bitter. angry maybe. but never bitter. there were worse things i could have suffered. and by the end, i concluded this: i was simply in love with the wrong person for far too long. and not everyone is like him. i've loved before. i will love again. and i will find a love so right that what i've felt in the past will feel like child's play.

a few months ago, i was visiting with family we don't see very often. they knew nothing of the huge breakup that eventually led me back to california. so questions about boyfriends and marriage flew at me left and right and i had a smart ass comment for everyone. finally i just said, "i think maybe i'm just meant to be single. and that's ok."

my aunt looked at me thoughtfully and said, "no i don't believe that." and i thought here we go again...the speech about how i'll find someone when i'm not looking or the speech about how i'm such a great girl, it's just a matter of time or the speech about you should join a club or any number of speeches married people tell single people. but instead she said this:

i believe when god created you, he created someone for you. he created your adam, from the same mold.

i could've replied with a smart ass comment like maybe my adam was meant for a steve and not an eve. but i didn't. she just said it with such conviction. such certainty. it was just another reminder that it was out of my hands. someone else was taking care of it. someone much more capable than me. and my aunt assured me that she'd be praying for me.

so maybe it's corny, but i feel like i have my very own dating guardian angel. a team of people holding constant vigil, a never ending novena praying that my life, already blessed with so much love, will one day be blessed with the love of my "adam".

-------------------------------

on a running note, i busted out a 2 miler before brunch on saturday. and another this morning. the hardest thing about getting back in the swing of things isn't so much the physical exertion but the mental aspect. of not getting bored. of keeping my brain focused. so while my legs and lungs are cooperating, i've got to get my head back in the game of endurance running. so far it's been a sweet reunion.

whew! that feels better

so i took the easy way out. i emailed them. much easier, but still got the message across. in a much nicer fashion than if i had stammered something out on the phone. and i feel better. less stress and my dating karma is still intact. as for afd, i agree with bex. for whatever reason, it looks like dude's unwilling to set up a proper date. and i'm not going to chase him.

20 something year old me would have never said such a statement. 20 something year old me probably would have ditched my homework last night to "hang out". 20 something year old me probably would have felt like i had to keep playing this game to get him to ask me out. THANK GOD i'm no longer 20 something year old me. NEXT!

i'm meeting the fed for brunch on saturday and i've been emailing a few potential dudes. again, we'll see. hope these dating updates aren't too boring. it's all so new to me again and i figure it can either make the happily marrieds who read my blog chuckle at my "adventures" or it can inspire other single gals looking for love. my goal in joining match wasn't to find my prince during my 6 month membership, but to just get out there again. to practice dating. to learn from other people. to learn about myself. so far, even in just this first month, it's been worth it.

in other news, i'm tossing around the idea of running the big sur half marathon. it's a challenging enough distance that i'll feel like a runner again. yet it isn't as time consuming as a marathon. and with preparations for graduate school looming, dating, and regular ol' life i think a half marathon is just about perfect.

this is tiring...

i've neglected to tell y'all i'm 2 weeks into summer school. i'm taking an 8 week course in statistics to fulfill a pre-req for the mba i am 90% sure i want to pursue. i'll have many other pre-reqs to fulfill before i can even start the graduate coursework since my undergrad degree had nothing to do with business, but slow and steady wins the race. right? hopefully. 2 hours of class after work, monday - thursday, is draining. fridays seriously never looked so sweet.

afd and i have been "talking" every day.. and i put it in quotes because it's more like bullshitting, shooting the shit, flirting, than real honest to goodness getting to know each other talking. that's the problem i guess when both of us are wiseasses. all this banter is all good and fun, but i'm hoping that we can proceed to more meaningful conversations. otherwise it'll get old really fast.

he called right when i got home from class, we chatted, and he said i should just come over, as he lives literally right across the highway. my first instinct was to think that was way too casual. i've fallen into the trap of when "dating" someone becomes "just hanging out" and it becomes a slippery slope of a relationship borne of convenience. or maybe i'm just old fashioned and prefer to have set plans and a set activity. but honestly, "come over at 9 pm to hang out" sounds too much like booty call to me.

maybe my brain has been fried from doing too much math. or maybe i'm right. all i really know is getting past the first date is harder than expected.

on the flipside, island boy is blowing up my phone to let me know jack johnson will be headlining a festival in sf in AUGUST... AUGUST! and should he get tickets for us? US? i found a way to get out of that but haven't quite said the words "i'm just not that into you" (diplomatically of course). i feel i owe him that and to pot, phd who has resurfaced on my phone somehow. but i just don't have the cajones to say those words out loud.

is it cowardly to just ignore people? rude? bad karma?

using all my muscles

in an attempt to work more than just my mojo, i made it to the gym for a 2 mile run and an hour of yoga. some hard ass yoga. sweet jesus. after our sun salutations series i was already spent.
mainly because we spent major time going over the plank and chaturanga part for the beginners. my arms will be sore tomorrow. heck they're sore now.

the weather is a little cooler this week but there will be no outdoor running. the air here is all soot and smoke. it's grey and thick out. it smells like all of california just had one big barbecue. and still, i see people smoking outside. losers. total losers. it's been this way since the weekend and until we get these fires under control, i'm doing my best to stay indoors. my neighborhood and where i work are safe, and should be safe unless a new one starts. but all the wind we've been having isn't helping things.

on a lighter note, i do have a funny story to share about airforce dude. when i met him on sunday, i got there early to get there first and position myself at the bar. i'd rather be the one he has to find than me have to look for him. if that makes any sense. it's a place of higher power, i think. anyway, i was foiled because he was already there.

blah blah blah. introductions. talking, talking. laughing, laughing...then we start talking about our match experiences and what we think the opposite sex is most particular about when it comes to the opposite sex. he said women were concerned about 1. balding (he has a full head of hair and i told him i actually like bald dudes) 2. education and 3. height. i was like really? height? being as short as i am, height is NEVER an issue with me. if a dude is shorter than 5'3", well....that hasn't happened. he said in his experience even the girls who are 5 foot look for dudes who are 6 foot.

then it clicked!



that sex in the city episode! where samantha meets that dude in the bar. and she doesn't know he's wearing a boy's suit until he gets up!

and lo and behold! later in the evening he got up to go to the bathroom and i noticed. he's not a midget and he's certainly taller enough than me to not be weird but it amused me to no end how sensitive he was about his height. later i went home and relooked up his profile. it says he's 5'8". let's hope he measures up. ;)

there might be something to this...

airforce dude and i finally got to talk. and finally got to meet. drinks turned into dinner and there was talk of "next time".

not saying he's my match, but it's encouraging.

no electricity

so...i met island boy for drinks last night...originally he wanted to go to dinner in sonoma then hang out there afterwards. nipped that in the bud and said, "why don't we go to happy hour somewhere close and if my back hair doesn't scare you off we can go from there?" i'm not committing a whole evening to someone i barely know. nor spending the gas money just to promptly drive home because he's an ogre in real life.

thankfully he wasn't an ogre. but he wasn't prince charming either. funny enough. nice enough, with all the opening doors and paying. had a lot of qualities i'm looking for in my dude. EXCEPT for nice teeth. and a nice face.

i've maintained that i'm going to be open-minded about looks and not totally reject someone right away if their profile pictures don't blow me away...some people just aren't photogenic. and i reason that the best boyfriend i've ever had was in high school (pathetic i know) and i wasn't attracted to him at first either. and considering my past with hot, but bad dudes, i figure maybe i should concentrate on more than just abs and a winning smile.

so after about the third beverage, i'd made up my mind that he was a great guy just not s someone i'd ever want to cuddle with... in fact the idea of him touching me creeped me out because he had weird hands. something odd about his fingernails. plus he smelled like a guy i used to be friends with until he decided he had feelings for me and got all weird.

and really he wasn't an ogre. he was clean and groomed and even got a haircut that day. i'm maybe just picky? weird? over concerned? with things like how people's hands and teeth look and how they smell. he didn't smell bad. but his pheremones just weren't jiving with mine.

even so, we went to play pool after drinks since i learned that the power was out at home. playing pool with a funny guy beat sweltering at home in the dark.

so at the end of the evening he dropped me off at my car and invited me in. . uh, awkward. luckily i had the excuse of taking the monchichi to 6 flags today. and the monchichi? he's my favorite boy EVER!

the bright side is i had a convo with the fed thursday night. and he had a very seksy voice. airforce dude and i keep exchanging vmails. we'll see what happens.

on the other hand, i've received the following emails from two very attractive men. too bad they're creepy and can't write for shite:

No good tips as if I did I would not need this site. lol Thats funny about the ice cream. So did you also eat an ice cream, and did you have some great seafood in Boston or what. Well I have been in California for a little longer then 3 years and I love it. Love the weather and also love that you can see so mnay beautiful places. Well some of my favorite places are Napa Valley. I love wine tasting. Don't worry I won't get you buzzed and try and take advantage of you. lolol j/k I love going into the city to try different restaurants. Love Tahoe as it is awesome and just so beautiful. I love playing softball, cooking, reading, also love taking scenic drives. Love Carmel and the ride along the coast.

And say thanks to your mom (this is in reference to me thanking him for saying i'm attractive. i said, really i have my mom thank for that or something like that)

my problem with this and his previous email is the excessive use of lol and j/k. huge pet peeve of mine. we're not texting. the second problem is his lame joke about getting my buzzed. gross. even if it is a joke. i can think of better jokes to make.

the second email requires no explanation:
Hi!, Im a white guy from sac town lookin for a good w00man who can handle her business!! You look like alot of fun. Text me @ 955-1793, Ill rock your world!! C-YA!

seriously. this came from a 30 year old man. OY!

so....luckily, i still have the monchichi.

what a weekend!

dudes! i am exhausted. stuffed to the gills. and hoarse from this weekend. and i have over 400 pictures to go through. stay tuned for a full recap. i need a weekend to recover from my weekend. but in the meantime, check out this perfect moment:



the monchichi has become fascinated with his own face. staring at his reflection. hamming it up for the camera then demanding to see the footage right away. i had the camera aimed at us on continuous mode and he surprised me by pulling my face in and planting a big, slopping, wet one on me. melted my heart instantly. he's such an affectionate boy. i FEAR for any girl who tries to date him in the future. they're gonna have one overprotective aunt to tackle if they think they can share his kisses.

come as you are

so, i met my first real live match dude. (and no it wasn't playa playa that i wrote about earlier)

this dude, D, just finished a phd program at uc davis in something like materials science and engineering. he gardens and cooks, has traveled all over and shares my affection for stewie griffen, beer, and crass humor. he has a great relationship with his family and holds similar religious beliefs to mine.

we met for coffee/drinks at a place in davis. it was a great night for sitting outside and talking. the conversation flowed well. he even brought flowers. (cheesy, but nice) all in all a great night.

but. in our talking about vacations and such it came out that he enjoys the mary jane every once in awhile. i asked him just how often he smokes and he said about once every other week. and while i really have no problem if people want to smoke, it's just not my thing. i appreciated his honesty and kinda stammered my way through how i felt about it. slightly unsure about whether this would be a deal breaker.

but it was cool. it wasn't like i left right then and there. and it wasn't like things got awkward. we talked some more and i told him he could call me again. on the ride home i began to think that his habit is a deal breaker. there's a reason i've never done any drugs, even if i do think marijuana really isn't that much worse than alcohol. it's fine for other people to do. but not me. and not my potential "match".

so i plan on telling him when he calls. maybe we can be friends. maybe it doesn't really matter what happens after. but this whole dating at 30 thing? where i'm much more sure of myself, of what i want and what i don't, and having the confidence to assert it? it feels great.

it feels great that even though i'm not at my "goal weight" i can proudly post my profile pictures. it feels great that i don't have to apologize or explain any bad decisions i've made. it feels great that i don't have to feel bad that at 30 i'm not yet married. i had to endure a lot of shit relationships (one in particular) but i think finally it's paying off.

and the summer begins!

this weekend i:

gobbled up some tasty cioppino.
stole kisses from the monchichi.
soaked up some sun at the vallejo marina.
found the ever elusive matcha green tea.
scored some new chaccos.
promptly broke them in by hiking lynch canyon.
sipped on chardonnay while perusing local art.
won a raffle prize gift basket. (4 club level baseball tickets, parking included, mary's pizza shack gc, starbucks coffee, and cranium!)
quenched my thirst with the first hefeweisen of the season.

dudes. this summer is gonna rock.

playa hater

so last night, i chatted on the phone with my first match dud, i mean dude.

the conversing itself went well. lots of laughing etc. he was a funny dude. and if we were co-workers or something we would totally get along. but as a "match"? not so much.

the highlights, i mean lowlights:

1. we somehow got on the topic of past relationships (he brought it up somehow) and he told me about his first love. a long distance relationship while he was in the navy. and how he was a bad bad boyfriend. and saw other girls during their relationship. boo!
   
2. talking about his latest relationship. it was a 6 month affair with a married woman. double boo!
   
3. other women he's dated have gone on to get married to the next guy after dating him. that's 'cause you're not marrying material dude!
   
4. i mentioned my trip to vegas for girls weekend and we got into a convo about how he likes to gamble. while gambling as a diversion isn't necessarily a deal breaker for me, the way he talked about it made me uncomfortable.
5. he's been laid off for a month. this i was more forgiving of.
   
6. he spoke about how much he could drink because he was latino. i mean really, i can throw down, but that's not what i'm gonna talk about the first time i talk to someone. and honestly, i don't throw down nearly as much as i used to. while i don't want a puritan, i don't want someone who still brags about how much they can drink.

NEXT!

shake, rattle, and roll

the rumbling? the shaking? what wasn't sound of me falling off the couch. that was a real bonafide earthquake! the second one i've felt since moving back to california a year and a half ago!

it only registered a 3.9, but the fault lies a mere 10 miles from my house.. the tremor was long enough that i stopped to consider taking cover, but strong enough for me to be too scared to get off the bed.

i'm ok, my family's ok, our stuff's ok. but man oh man! welcome back to california!

long live the chickpea!

today, i tossed canned garbanzo beans in vegetable oil, kosher salt, ground cumin, and cayenne pepper. i spread 'em out on a sheet pan and toasted them for 30 minutes. then i tossed in some toasted almonds and let 'em bake for another 2-3 minutes. then i had a darn tasty snack.

i'm bagging up these puppies and smuggling them into sex and the city this weekend.

i substituted almonds for pistachios because i didn't want to shell the ones we had. and i didn't add thyme because i didn't have any. but the great thing about this recipe is that you could probably season the chickpeas with anything and they'd taste good. crunchy and toasty. yum!

and what do you call em? chickpeas or garbanzo beans?

pushing 30

so, like i said in my last post, as of yesterday i'm on match. and already it's a lot of work...and i'm not even talking about the writing my profile or choosing pictures part. it's the responding and stuff. the winks, the ims, the emails. i get everyone confused and it's not even that many dudes.

but really, every profile i read was pretty generic, boring, or cliche. or just downright poorly written. not that i'm the grammar police or anything. but seriously, do people read books anymore? i was equally interested in the photos...not just for what they looked like, but for what images they chose. whether it looked like they took pictures of themselves with a camera phone all day (lo-ser), whether they had 10 shots of them bare chested (ick). whether they've traveled and whether they had pictures with family and friends. personality comes across much more in pictures, it's a shame so many people don't take better advantage of it.

anyway, enough about my rant. i really am going into this with a positive attitude. so far, so good. no crazy trolls....yet.

what this post was meant to be about was how easy it was to write my profile. (though obviously we'll have to see if it is at all effective) maybe i've had enough practice. or maybe i just know myself that much better. i guess that's what being close to 30 does for you. pushing 30 also means crows feet. as i noticed when selecting recent photos of myself. and surprisingly, it didn't bother me.

i've said it before, and i'll say it again. i think 30 is going to be a good year.

_laughoutloud_

i'm on match.com


hahahahahahahahahahaha....

for reals.

a cooking coup

*just a note, blogger is being lame. it let me change my header but it won't let me change my colors etc. boooo blogger.*

anyway, this weekend was bay to breakers. which i did not run. for the 2nd year in a row. and all my family asked me about it. boooo me. i honestly don't know what it is about my running slump, going on several, several months now. i get busy, i get inspired. i get busy, then i go to crap. i haven't whined about it in awhile, because i mean really, who likes a whiner? i don't. but still it isn't enough to get me motivated. some days i cut myself slack. i tell myself that running isn't the only thing in my life and i am not defined by whether i run or don't run. but there's a voice somewhere that say, c'mon you know you wanna...

...

in other news, i spent a lot of time in the kitchen and a lot of time with family this weekend. both excellent things. at the risk of sounding totally mushy, my family makes me so happy. it's funny to me that i spent my whole life wanting to get out, get away, be on my own and now with them, i am the happiest i have been in a long, long while. i spent all this time trying to find my place, find my life, when it was here all along. it wasn't enough just being me. i'm much happier also being a daughter, and a sister, an aunt, a cousin, a niece, a granddaughter. and quiet suburban life is really starting to grow on me. it's crazy, i know.

as for my cooking coup, i made homemade caesar dressing. which sounds easy enough. and it was. but i have this thing with caesar dressing. i scour high and low for the restaurants with the best caesar dressing...made with real anchovies. not the sour, vinegary crap. and so far i've found only 2 restaurants with to die for dressing. one by the beach i go to, over an hour away, and a pizzeria in the town 10 minutes away. and sometimes 10 minutes is too far to drive. especially when you're too lazy to put on pants. so i found a recipe and figured out i had all the ingredients already in my kitchen! who knew! and let me tell you it was the bomb! (do people still say that?)

i also broke in the new mini muffin tims by making mini quiches! everything tastes better mini. and you totally lose track of how many you eat. among the fillings: roasted red pepper chickn sausage, shredded mexican cheese, spinach, scallions, and dill havarti. yes, dill havarti. yum. i made enough quiches for dinner and a snack tomorrow. once we polish the last of them off, i'm looking to dive into the tub of marinated fresh mozzerella...

dude. i really need to get to running.

splurge

i headed west to go thrifting. in search of treasure. and to escape the heat. i didn’t find much in clothing, but i totally cleaned up in books. and mini muffin tins!
last night, i also made some "dump cake". sounds nasty, but tastes dee-vine! because it has absolutely no nutritional value. in fact, i probably clogged my arteries and gave myself diabetes all in one spoonful. to add insult to injury, i also made rice krispie treats. oh yum. my favorite. the good news is, i was bringing them to a party tonight. the bad news is, i found a recipe for apple dumplings and mousakka.

save your applause til the end

so i actually got myself into the gym today. and now i'm even more sore. the couple miles i ran don't earn me a medal or anything, but i'll take small victories anyday.

who does deserve an award, however, is my dad! yesterday he finally made the decision to retire! lucky for him he has a TON of vacation saved up (16 weeks!) and some sick leave, etc, so he's still on the company's books until september when he officially retires. my parents have worked long and hard, and he finally let himself take a break as this is the year my baby brother graduates from college. after 30 years of service, my dad definitely deserves it! GO DAD!

he's been talking about finally getting some exercise in his old age, so he's coming with me to the gym on saturday for "guest day". we'll just see how that goes :)

riddle me this

what heats your core and makes your muscles quiver?,

what leaves you so hot and sweaty that you can feel your energy pulsing from within.?

what makes your breath deepen while a smile of contentment creeps across your face?

what feels so good you never want it to end?

...

...

it's been a long time my friends, but the reunion was sweet. the yoga class was only this morning, but i'm already sore. the good kind of sore, but my tune might change tomorrow. all i know is, sun salutations are the perfect way to start the day.

whoa! that went fast!

so april was gone in the blink of an eye.

i've been up to a lot lately, just nothing i care to blog about. sometimes, you just don't want things on the internet, ya know? not 'cause it's like secret or private. i would have no problem blabbing to ya'll about it in person. so if you want the dirt, you're just gonna have to make it out here and we can talk about it over some beers. or dirty martinis, which i have recently discovered.

i've been checking in sporadically on y'all as you run/swim//bike your hearts out! eventually, i'll be back up and running sometime soon.

but in the meantime, i've got lots of other stuff a-brewin'!

:) take care kids!

what's new

1. dudes! it's april! A-PRIL! a whole quarter of the year, gone. no more dickin' around...hence the theme for this month's masthead. now begins the real training. biathlon in july. half marathon in august. and a couple fun ones in between. giddy up!

2. i so totally got my ass kicked on the playground this weekend. we celebrated my cousin's birthday at this insane local playground.

climbing up those stairs just to narrowly escape death while sliding down really increases your heart rate. p.s. you go faster if you ride down on a piece of cardboard box.

then there was this rope jungle gym contraption. looked simple enough. til everyone else climbed on and the whole thing shook and gave under everyone's weight.


lots of swinging, sliding, climbing, falling, jumping, chasing, racing, pulling. carrying, hoisting, lifting...all the little ones needed lots of attention and i could barely keep up. i seriously do not know how parents do it.

then the big kids got to play volleyball. sweet jesus, it's been a long time since college intramurals. it was quite comical. but seriously, i hurt in places i don't remember having.

luckily, we were rewarded with some kick ass barbecue.

3. speaking of barbecue, i got my grubby hands on some awesome korean barbecue this weekend. we trekked it to concord to be rewarded with a feast of kalbi, bulgogi, and of course kim chi!



they cook everything at your table so everything is piping hot. just how i like it. if you've never had korean barbecue, in addition to the meat and rice, they bring out at least a dozen little side dishes. some pickled, some spicy, some sweet, some seafood, some tofu, some stuff i'd never heard of. but all tasty! they also bring out large lettuce leafs to wrap the meat in if you prefer. and they just keep refilling all the side plates until you are stuffed. then they bring out dessert! a sweet rice milk dessert. yum!

but i wasn't a total glutton. after dinner we took a stroll on the iron horse trail which was just blocks away!



4. and finally, in my sidebar, you'll notice widgets to check me out on twitter and flickr. twitter is fast becoming my latest addiction. finally a place to record all the little random thoughts and happenings as they happen. as if blogger isn't enough!

powered by cheez-its

i think my blog is more about food than running. well, eating is my favorite activity. i've been doing it my whole life and i'm damned good at it! anyway, somehow i managed to plow through half a box of these cheez-its. they're reduced fat. i'm only reduced bad. but eating half a box means i had absolutely no appetite for anything else. and i was thirsty!

i thought it might make my track run today totally sucky. but nope. we were fast today. 2 miles in 20:45. woot! 70 seconds faster than last week. the 400 m splits: 2:29, 2:35, 2:33, 2:34, 2:39 (can you tell we're tiring?), 2:39, 2:41, 2:31. it was by no means easy. but the great thing about a fast 2 miles is that the pain is brief and the pride lasts all night!

p.s. to answer anne's question about the photo collage below. i used this to create the collage from photos i uploaded to my flickr account. now that i've replaced my broken digital camera, i hope to resume my picture a day effort.

easter weekend

friday: so i'm on my way to dinner, in the middle of rush hour traffic when all of a sudden cop cars rush in on all sides. i see big K9s jump out of the truck and i heard "put your hands up!" guns are drawn and i swear to bob they are pointed at me. my hands jump off the steering wheel . and i shit my pants. they are nearing MY car. all i could think was "holy shit, i'm gonna die on good friday!"

then i notice the coppers going for the car in front of me. and the car behind me. how in the HELL did i get stuck in the middle?! i still can't breath a sigh of relief because i have no idea what the HELL they are after there hoodlums for. i slink down as much as possible and pray for my life. i'm serious. all i could think of was, "why was i so rude to my parents before i left home? now i'm gonna die and the last thing i said to my mother was " you ate all the food?!"

so the cops do their thing, and slowly get all the perps out of the cars and into custody. i can see everyone else in their cars whipping out their cameras. i guess i was the only one worried about a shoot out.

thankfully, saturday and sunday were much more calm and filled with my favorite things: family and food!
that's some serious food right there. i haven't had ceviche or oysters in probably a year! and ditto for flan. oh sweet, sweet flan.

i managed to get to the gym on saturday night, after my first gluttonous feast. i was burping up lechon the entire time. i managed a 2mile treadmill run in 21:12. for me, peeps, that's fast! the half mile breakdowns:

5:30, 5:25, 5:17, 4:59! WOOT!

and even though my stomach was feeling bloaty, i headed to the pool for the same 900m workout i did on monday.

granted those two workouts combined weren't enough to burn off half the calories i consumed just LOOKING at all the food i ate this weekend, but i'd like to think it makes me less of a glutton!

ah, spring!

yesterday, i felt like a pile o' poo. i barely had the energy after work to pour myself a bowl of cereal for dinner. but today? whoa baby. i had energy to spare! i have no idea where it came from, but i was happy for the change in mood.

so while the endorphins where high, i laced up some old trail shoes and headed for the hills. we've got plenty 'round here. and even though some places were pretty steep both up and down, my hour long hike/walk was the perfect low key workout to welcome spring!

i made it back to civilization before the sun finally set and capped off my evening with a frosty cold beer and some blackened red snapper. not bad for a thursday. not bad at all.

powered by burritos

at 12:30, i ate a burrito.

i thought, 6 hours is enough time to process a burrito, right?

just barely. i popped 2 tums before i left the house and i think that's the only thing that saved me.

later, after i got home, showered and had a glass of milk, i finally burped it up. ick.

somehow though i managed 2 miles in 21.53. or i should say, my running partner and i. we both agreed that running without each other pretty much sucks. not that we were particularly chatty today. we must have uttered like 20 words during the run. during the warmup and cooldown, though, she was able to ask me about doing a logo for her husband who's looking to start his own clothing line.

and surprise, axel f is a great running song.

more love/hate

i got my hair cut after work and the first thing my stylist said when i sat in the chair was, "your hair is dry" EGAD! WHAT!? no one has ever said that about my hair! my hair is hardy and healthy! stupid, stupid pool! stupid, stupid, chlorine! first my skin, now my hair. ugh.

so she conditioned, deep conditioned, nipped off the ends, and applied a miracle product which made my hair softer than it's ever been! i was a walking pantene commercial.

until i pulled on my swim cap and dove into the pool. my hair was perfect for all of 20 minutes.

but a girl's gotta do, what a girl's gotta do. and i had 900m of swimming to do. here's how it went down:

warmup:
1 x 25, 1 x 50, 1 x 75
main set:
3 x 25: fingertip drill
3 x 25: lead left
3 x 25: lead right
3 x 25: freestyle kick
3 x 25: pull
3 x 25: butterfly kick
easy swim:
3 x 50
cool down:
2 x 50, 1 x 50

i didn't have my watch so i couldn't time it, but it felt easy. i had plenty of gas by the end of the workout. woot!

swimming after work is so relaxing and refreshing. BUT. there are some weird characters at the pool. i've mentioned some before. but tonight, there were 2 lovebirds splashing in the deep end of one of the lanes. dude had on so much cologne i could smell it over the chlorine. i was just praying that there was no way i would get any stds by sharing the same pool water. ick.

so let's get that image out of our heads with a pic of the monchichi from this weekend:

yes, his shirt says, "ladies man". on saturday, we went for a walk, had lunch, spent the afternoon at chuck e. cheese, then napped for like, forever! on sunday, i took him to his first movie. and he LOVED it. at least the popcorn part. we went shopping and walked away with a little duckie that danced the chicken dance. then we went to the park before yet another long nap.

this weekend was the best birth control ever. i love the kid more than anything, but man, i could barely keep up!

p.s. my mom's watching the bachelor, which i NEVER watch bc i think it's just so embarrassing, but one of the girls, i went to high school with!!! she's the bush aide. seriously, is that the first thing you want to tell someone? to impress them? she's exactly as i remembered her from high school. except that she didn't try to sing to him. she was ALWAYS singing in h.s. i just googled her and it turned out she's been in d.c. and studied for the bar while on the show. craziness. who knew d.c. law firms were keen on their associates appearing on reality shows. oh and she's a marathoner.

catching up

losing an hour has totally screwed with my body clock. normally, i wake up around 530 every morning. this week i've been getting up closer to 730! that's 2 hours behind, yo! while i enjoy it being light out after work, it sucks that i have to sacrifice daylight in the morning. i'm hoping my body finds equilibrium over the weekend. though it's doubtful. i'm babysitting the monchichi til sunday, while my brother and sis in law enjoy her birthday weekend in reno. at least the little kid and i have the same bedtime!

my swim lesson on wednesday was ho-hum. it hasn't turned into a class yet, though that's what they're aiming for. judy decided to torture me with lots of kicking drills. everything from my hips down was burning by the end of the lesson. she kept saying, it's good for you. bah!

this morning, the group ran 2.25 miles. it's still taking me at least 15 minutes to not hate running, but i'm not feeling as stiff as i was before. it's amazing how for 25 minutes i'm cursing the fact that i'm running, but the second i'm done it's like "oh my god! that was so awesome! i feel so refreshed! i could do that all day!" HA! and i still think it's magic that the group makes me run faster. it's definitely an effort. but hopefully one that will pay off in the end.

arms and legs

my delinquent ass got to the track to join the group today. and boy am i glad i did! not only did they miss me (yeah!), but they made me run faster than i normally do. how do they do that?! we ran 1.75 miles in 18:56 which is a shade faster than 11 minute miles. and here i've been barely slogging along at 12+ minute miles by myself. go team!

i carried my runner's high to the pool where i swam for 55 minutes. at the end of one lap, as i caught my breath a dude approached me and said, "you've been swimming forever!" oh dude, you just made my day. i'm digging my stroke lately. it feels natural and fluid and my laps are getting easier and easier. i wish there was a fool proof way to count my laps. my watch manual says it's only water resistant if you press the buttons out of the water, so i really would have to stop at every lap or 2 to press the lap button. plus honestly, i am so into swimming i don't even remember to count. i've seen a little clicker that you wear on your finger to count laps. how do you keep track of laps?

my lessons on wednesday are turning into a group class. and i'm cool with that. hopefully there are people better than me. i find it makes me swim better. it makes me want to do better. we shall see tomorrow. if i can even move my arms tomorrow...

weekend recap: my head is back in the game

this weekend was a clusterfuck of the mind. for most of saturday, i stewed. that evening, i met up with my littlest brother and cousin for second saturday in midtown sacramento when all the galleries open up to the public for free. while i wasn't necessarily inspired by the work (it was sacramento, after all), i did enjoy the fresh air and the company. we then had some "bomb-ass" thai food, as my brother would say. it's the best thai i've had since moving back to california. plus i always love eating with the littlest bro. since he's a chef, we get to talk all geeky foodie like, talking about texture, aroma, spices, cooking science, presentation, freshness, etc. he appreciates food in all the ways i do! my middle brother? he is so picky i sometimes dread eating with him.

so i spent the night in sac and got to wake up and play with the nephew. we played and played and played until about noon when i had to go. i shopped for a good number of hours, picking up some new bras (which are FANTASTIC! the t-back is so comfortable and the girls have never been so happy!), some things for my friend's new baby, and some new shoes. when i got home, i took the 'rents to see the bank job. it was decent enough. jason statham is worth paying full movie price to see on the big screen. and i love british accents. it wasn't as fun as i thought i was going to be. in fact, it turned much more serious in the end.

i haven't yet seen the other boleyn girl. i figured my dad wouldn't care for it, which is why i chose the bank job instead. and i won't get to see it this weekend since i'm babysitting. but i'm sure in due time i'll get to see my dear, sweet bana on the big screen. and i'll do my best to block out the other two. bleh.

anyway, we got home from the movie, and i think i let myself be tortured for an hour over the $80,000 question of grad school. essentially, i'm limited to 2 schools in the s.f. area; i do not want to move again to go to school, just to move back. both schools are private, hence the steep cost. funding is limited to loans because there just really aren't any fellowships or grants for graphic design. so then my mind spiraled to me never being able to buy a house because of my huge student loan debt, me working 5 jobs just to live, me being a crazy, unhappy, overweight spinster living with my parents until the day i die......my mind does that. takes one worry then extrapolates it to the nth degree until i am literally petrified.

it also works when i'm excited too though. once i was done thinking that, i thought
of all the great people i'd meet, the great work i'd get to put in my portfolio, the research i'd get to do, the dream job that could be mine, the satisfaction in using my talents for something useful and inspiring. then i felt better.

so somewhere between those two scenarios will lie what actually happens. i figure i'll take it a month at a time. get my apps and portfolios done and get accepted. then worry about money. a lot of opportunities could come my way in the next 2-3 years that could improve my situation, and i'm banking on things getting better. grad school will really only make me a better designer.

so i'm done blathering on about that, for now. tonight, i swim. and i have a feeling it will feel oh, so good.

my mind is elsewhere

thursday, i managed a 2.5 mile run in the am. but that's all. after work, i skeedaddled to s.f. for a "thing" and by the time i got home i was ravenous and tired. so the next morning, i chose sleep over working out. friday was the most stressful day at work in my 3 months there and all i could do to cope was think of beer. all pretty lame excuses but whatever.

running and swimming have taken a far back seat to things lately. all i can think about is grad school. how i'm going to pay for it. how i'm gonna even manage school and work. getting excited about it, then getting worried again. i think i need to just shut the fuck up, do the applications and the questions will answer themselves. but i can't help but feel the need to plan and strategize the coming months over and over again in my head until it makes sense.

many people say they work things out in their heads while they run. many say exercise helps them cope. lately, it's become just one more chore that doesn't get done because i'm focused and fretting over something else.

but i did manage to finish up the march design of my masthead.

two-fer

my sorry ass hasn't worked out in a week. i even missed our group run last night to take care of a family situation. boooo! but i made up for it by running and swimming today.

am run: i find that it takes me a long while to get warmed up. and after awhile, even though i'm good and warm, the outer calf pain starts. i was able to keep that pain at bay during marathon training because i was going to yoga once a week, if not twice. in fact, i should get the yoga mat out now and do some warrior poses during idol.

though i did find that when i ran faster, the outer calf pain decreased. or maybe i was more concerned about my hard breathing. whatever it is, i know i just need to be patient and i'll get back in the groove. despite my pathetic distance, by the end i thought, "damn! morning runs are better than crack!" although we all know, i know nothing about crack.

pm swim class: i told judy about my rash and she said i wasn't the first person to mention that to her! she said even she gets little red bumps. so she's investigating.

getting back in the pool felt good. i've been away for 2 weeks, afraid of worsening my skin condition and/or contaminating the pool with whatever i had. luckily, i still had my mojo. today we refined my stroke even more, focusing on slicing my hand into the water by rotating my arm so that my thumb enters the water first. at the end of my lesson after swimming more laps, i practiced flip turns. these things are getting so easy!

i'd like to get another two-fer in again tomorrow. i've got some catching up to do!

lists: what's up and 7 random things

it's been awhile since my last post (and my last workout). here's what's been up.

1. my body has become allergic to life. my regular seasonal allergies are kicking my ass and it appears my skin has also decided to mutiny. the day after my last swim class (two wednesdays ago), my skin has been itching like mad. at first i didn't notice the random nagging itches in random places. until i realized that i had about scratched myself raw and produced a million little bumps all over. ick. i haven't used any new detergent, soaps, lotions, or potions. nor have i eaten anything different. i'm assuming it's a combination of icky pool skank and extreme dry skin. the itchiness lingers today but to a lesser degree. i've upped moisturization efforts just short of slathering on olive oil and mayonnaise and wrapping myself up in a cocoon every night. if anyone has any recommendations, i'd greatly appreciate it.
2. i was an expo bandit this weekend. the napa valley marathon was this weekend and even though i wasn't running it, i checked out the expo in search of great deals on running gear. i didn't find any good deals but i did get to hear the keynote address given by joan benoit-samuelson, 1984 olympic marathon champion. (tangent: in my head i kept referring to her as jon benet ramsey). she was funny, candid, and honest. she talked about her marathon strategies (she doesn't look at the course beforehand or keep track of every mile marker), her crosstraining (lots of nordic skiing and gardening), what it was like to pace lance armstrong in the ny marathon (she said she felt like his sherpa because he demanded a gel at every mile marker), and the importance of running your own race, both in running and life.
   
   getting a glimpse into the elite athlete's life is always inspring. you sometimes forget that the elite have the same ups and downs, the same vulnerability to injury, the same crappy weather conditions to run in, thinking that somehow because they have god given talent that running is easier, effortless for them. but it's not. hearing joan benoit-samuelson speak reminded me of my favorite scenes of the spirit of the marathon was when she was in her kitchen, cooking and drinking wine.
   
   i also ran into dean karnazes! i had NO idea he was going to be there otherwise i would have gotten there much earlier and brought my book for him to sign. when i saw him, his people were ushering him away from the groupies, as he was already late for his next engagement. he was very kind and stopped to take photos before jetting off. honestly, if i did have time to talk to him i don't even know what i'd say. "uh hi, i read your book. i think you're kind of crazy, actually." also, dude is TINY. which is guess is obvious since he's a runner. though he does have a lot of muscle. he looks likes he's negative percent body fat. but all i could think was, dude i could totally sit on him and crush him.
3. while in napa, i also hit up a local brewery. leave it to me to go to the land of grapes to sample the hops instead. while seated at the bar, a real live bonafide cowboy took the seat next to me. white stetson, tight wranglers, pearl snaps, and all. how does that not feel like a costume? anyway, cowboy asked for a budweiser, totally oblivious to the fact that he stepped foot in a microbrewery. instead he got their pale ale with a lime. i hope it wasn't to wussy for him. i had a pint of their amber, porter, and stout with the best fish and chips i've ever had.
   
4. i've been engrossed in researching mfa programs. it's become very clear that in order to bring my career to the next level, i need an mfa. plus it also gives me the option to teach, which is something i would like to do, either in conjunction with a commercial career or something later in life. i'm looking to stay in california and in the san francisco area ideally. i'm also looking to go full time and really hope it won't take me 4 years. i'm also looking for a sugar daddy to fund this endeavor. i'm kidding, but not entirely.
5. i've been spending lots of quality time with the nephew. he always makes me happy. and it's impossible to feel the need for a bf when the monchichi is so good at needing my love and attention.

that's about it folks. also, sometime last week, my favorite squirrel tagged me. she turned a post about sweet sweet eric bana into homework. so in no particular order, 7 random things about me:

1. i am obsessed with notebooks. in my purse i carry my planner/checkbook, my diary, a notebook for notes (directions, notes from voicemails, etc), and a small notebook of affirmations. cheesy, i know. but that book works. i have a drawer of empty notebooks of all sizes and types just waiting to be filled. sometimes i buy them and sometimes i get them free from paper shows and paper promotions. but i can never pass up a good little notebook. my fave so far: the moleskine.
2. i make the best fried rice on the planet. thanks to one very special ingredient: spam. spam fried rice, with soy sauce, eggs, and green onions is my favorite carboloading meal.
   
3. i've never experimented with drugs. not even pot. and it wasn't like it was never offered. i just never had any interest. i didn't drink until i was 21 either. i was one of those "i'm high on life" perky teenagers. i'm neither proud nor ashamed of my drug-free status. and it had nothing to do with the D.A.R.E. program. does that even still exist
4. my favorite present to give is board games. cheesy i know. but every couple i've given the deluxe scrabble game to (you know with the board on the turntable) tells me they use it all the time! plus, it's a present i can use too!
5. i bite my fingernails. it's a gross disgusting habit, but i can't stop.
   
6. i think oprah is annoying. do i even need to elaborate? if i had to choose a media mogul to spend the day with, it would totally be martha stewart. i mean she's done prison time!
   
7. i have a birthmark on my right arm. my parents tell me that my dad had the same mark in the same spot on his arm and that when i was born, his disappeared. and i believed them! it's a cute story anyway.

i'm supposed to tag 7 other people, but consider yourself tagged if you're reading this and so inclined to follow along!