should you judge a dude by his blog?

so. southern gent and i have been talking all week. the little girl in me has just about fallen in love with him, what with his oh-so cute accent and deep, deep voice. accents are my kryptonite. part of me knows these feelings of giddiness might come crashing down once i meet him in person on sunday. but for the meantime, it's fun to get swept up. he might very well be an ogre in real life, but for the time being i'm flirting on the phone with what sounds like a very intelligent, nerdy in a sexy way, dude who calls me beautiful every other word and makes me laugh. i know, i'm such a school girl.

but i'm not entirely hopeless. i, of course, googled him. when i googled his name, all i found was a review he and his friend wrote about some hotels they stayed at in japan and his corporate giving page for the AIDS walk coming up. normal enough stuff that says his story checks out.

then i googled his match user name. and came up with 2 blogs. one he wrote in college and another he wrote about 4 years ago. is it fair to judge someone based on what they wrote in their journal back in college? even 4 years ago? how would i feel if he somehow found my blog and read it?

there wasn't anything on there to send up red flags (except his admitting to a very large pron collection EW! which i have mixed feelings about) during these times he dated a lot. which i guess is normal for most people. i had a much different experience because i went to a college with nearly all gay men and i dated only the ex after college for 5 years. but it was interesting to read him fall in and out of love. mainly his blogs were a space to just vent and write, so a lot of it was pretty emo. which i guess is to be expected of one's journal.

i thought that by googling him i'd find out whether his story checks out or not. all signs point to not a pyscho killer, so that's good. but i think knowing too much has killed the mood, so to speak. do i let him know i've been reading up on him? how much of what i read should i let cloud my judgement about him? would i want someone to judge me in the same way?

my instincts tell me to just file all that data in the back of my mind and let him present himself the way he is today. heaven knows i grew up a ton in my late 20s. no one wants to be judged by who they were when they were 21-25. which i guess is indicative of why i never got married in my 20s.

so it's with a hopeful heart, an open mind, and a watchful eye that i go into our first meet on sunday. i'll keep y'all posted. have a safe and happy fourth! it's my own personal independence day and granny's 92nd birthday party. time to celebrate some girl power, don't you think?

mum's the word

i don't want to jinx it.

gut check

so you know how yesterday i was riding high, singing "i am pretty, oh so pretty" from the rooftops? i ended all that by getting on the scale this morning after my 2 miler.

171, it said. ONE. FREAKIN'. SEVENTY. ONE. my 6 year old cousin can't even count that high!

it really honestly comes as no surprise. it's even a little down from when the nurse took my weight at my physical last month. it's such an absurdly high number that i didn't even hesitate to post it for all the world to see. it's like really? my body can actually weigh that much? i actually have that much excess crap to haul around?

this weight puts me just over the line of obese. dudes! i'm OBESE! it's so ridiculous, it's funny. except it's neither ridiculous. nor funny. it's fact. sobering. but not grave.

the good news is all signs point to good health. i'm very good on the cholesterol front, both good and bad. blood pressure, blood sugar, thyroid. all good. i have my "youth" to thank for that because lord knows my genetics are working against me.

the other good news is i've been down this road before so many times. i gain, i lose, i gain, i lose. i've been anywhere from a size 4 to a 12, most of the time settling around a size 8. and i've come to a point in my life where i'm not nearly as neurotic about my size as i used to be. i've slowly built up a wardrobe of bigger spring and summer clothes and have been able to strut around as usual.

even so, i know i should lose some poundage. obesity ain't no joke. and as i've said before my genetics predispose me to a multitude of health risks. but i refuse to get all neurotic about counting calories or counting pounds. or counting miles for that matter. after a 6 month hiatus, i think the running bug has bit again and i feel like i'm finally on track. the fact that i've run 4 out of the last 5 days is a good start. and the running has so far kept my eating in check. but i'm hoping to take a less "type a" approach to training this time. i think it's time to have some FUN with running, don't you?

of course, this could all change as my 12-year high school reunion approaches in december. (we missed out 10th. something about the reunion company we were working with going bankrupt) but for now, i'm up for a fun summer of running.

allow me to toot my own horn

it was very nice to find the following two emails this morning:

from pot, phd:

I completely understand. Thanks for the nice complements however.

That said I enjoyed getting to know you and I wish you the best of luck in your life.

I want you to know that I really appreciate you getting back to me. You are going to make an awesome girlfriend for some lucky bastard out there! ;-)

Warmest Regards,
pot, phd

and from the fed, after our brunch meet on saturday:

Hey, I just wanted to say again that I had a great time today and it very nice meeting you in person today. It was very refreshing to finally meet someone "normal". Oh and for the record, you are so not a nerd. I really dig your personality and I would definitely like to see you again. I probably should have said this in person but you looked really nice today. I'll give you a call sometime this week.

and my convo with southern gent went well today. he even called me "striking". i've never been called that before. (though he also called me exotic which is a half-strike against him because i HATE when people call me that) i don't know what it is. even though i'm pretty happy with what i see in the mirror everyday, it's still always an unexpected boost when a guy compliments your looks. especially when it doesn't feel skeevy. i guess that even at 30, i've still "got it".

and without sounding too self-deprecating, this all comes as a huge surprise to me. i thought for sure i'd get NO hits. i thought for sure there were only trolls out there. i thought for sure this whole match thing would be totally demoralizing. but lo and behold, there really are normal guys out there looking for the real thing.

granted i've only been at it a month, so there is the possibility i might just burn through every eligible bachelor in northern california. but so far this experience has been worth the money. even if i don't find love yet, i'm ok with that. i've got other things going on.

and i think this is the first time EVER since i grew boobs that i feel this happy, dare i say lucky, that i'm single. i know this all sounds so optimistic now, so don't burst my bubble. but for the first time i finally feel like i won't settle. i know how demoralizing it feels to be with the wrong person. at the time i didn't realize how much of me was "dead" because of the relationship i was in. never again am i going to let that happen.

and yet, somehow i've managed avoid the bitterness many people associate with the singlehood. this july 4th marks my 2 year anniversary of personal independence from the ex. and in that time i've experienced great sadness, utter confusion, searing anger, and most of all heartbreak. there were times i felt like i didn't even know who i was. and there were many days and months of depression. the dull ache of not knowing what the hell to do. about anything.

but with time, i muddled through. and never once was i bitter. angry maybe. but never bitter. there were worse things i could have suffered. and by the end, i concluded this: i was simply in love with the wrong person for far too long. and not everyone is like him. i've loved before. i will love again. and i will find a love so right that what i've felt in the past will feel like child's play.

a few months ago, i was visiting with family we don't see very often. they knew nothing of the huge breakup that eventually led me back to california. so questions about boyfriends and marriage flew at me left and right and i had a smart ass comment for everyone. finally i just said, "i think maybe i'm just meant to be single. and that's ok."

my aunt looked at me thoughtfully and said, "no i don't believe that." and i thought here we go again...the speech about how i'll find someone when i'm not looking or the speech about how i'm such a great girl, it's just a matter of time or the speech about you should join a club or any number of speeches married people tell single people. but instead she said this:

i believe when god created you, he created someone for you. he created your adam, from the same mold.

i could've replied with a smart ass comment like maybe my adam was meant for a steve and not an eve. but i didn't. she just said it with such conviction. such certainty. it was just another reminder that it was out of my hands. someone else was taking care of it. someone much more capable than me. and my aunt assured me that she'd be praying for me.

so maybe it's corny, but i feel like i have my very own dating guardian angel. a team of people holding constant vigil, a never ending novena praying that my life, already blessed with so much love, will one day be blessed with the love of my "adam".

-------------------------------

on a running note, i busted out a 2 miler before brunch on saturday. and another this morning. the hardest thing about getting back in the swing of things isn't so much the physical exertion but the mental aspect. of not getting bored. of keeping my brain focused. so while my legs and lungs are cooperating, i've got to get my head back in the game of endurance running. so far it's been a sweet reunion.

whew! that feels better

so i took the easy way out. i emailed them. much easier, but still got the message across. in a much nicer fashion than if i had stammered something out on the phone. and i feel better. less stress and my dating karma is still intact. as for afd, i agree with bex. for whatever reason, it looks like dude's unwilling to set up a proper date. and i'm not going to chase him.

20 something year old me would have never said such a statement. 20 something year old me probably would have ditched my homework last night to "hang out". 20 something year old me probably would have felt like i had to keep playing this game to get him to ask me out. THANK GOD i'm no longer 20 something year old me. NEXT!

i'm meeting the fed for brunch on saturday and i've been emailing a few potential dudes. again, we'll see. hope these dating updates aren't too boring. it's all so new to me again and i figure it can either make the happily marrieds who read my blog chuckle at my "adventures" or it can inspire other single gals looking for love. my goal in joining match wasn't to find my prince during my 6 month membership, but to just get out there again. to practice dating. to learn from other people. to learn about myself. so far, even in just this first month, it's been worth it.

in other news, i'm tossing around the idea of running the big sur half marathon. it's a challenging enough distance that i'll feel like a runner again. yet it isn't as time consuming as a marathon. and with preparations for graduate school looming, dating, and regular ol' life i think a half marathon is just about perfect.

this is tiring...

i've neglected to tell y'all i'm 2 weeks into summer school. i'm taking an 8 week course in statistics to fulfill a pre-req for the mba i am 90% sure i want to pursue. i'll have many other pre-reqs to fulfill before i can even start the graduate coursework since my undergrad degree had nothing to do with business, but slow and steady wins the race. right? hopefully. 2 hours of class after work, monday - thursday, is draining. fridays seriously never looked so sweet.

afd and i have been "talking" every day.. and i put it in quotes because it's more like bullshitting, shooting the shit, flirting, than real honest to goodness getting to know each other talking. that's the problem i guess when both of us are wiseasses. all this banter is all good and fun, but i'm hoping that we can proceed to more meaningful conversations. otherwise it'll get old really fast.

he called right when i got home from class, we chatted, and he said i should just come over, as he lives literally right across the highway. my first instinct was to think that was way too casual. i've fallen into the trap of when "dating" someone becomes "just hanging out" and it becomes a slippery slope of a relationship borne of convenience. or maybe i'm just old fashioned and prefer to have set plans and a set activity. but honestly, "come over at 9 pm to hang out" sounds too much like booty call to me.

maybe my brain has been fried from doing too much math. or maybe i'm right. all i really know is getting past the first date is harder than expected.

on the flipside, island boy is blowing up my phone to let me know jack johnson will be headlining a festival in sf in AUGUST... AUGUST! and should he get tickets for us? US? i found a way to get out of that but haven't quite said the words "i'm just not that into you" (diplomatically of course). i feel i owe him that and to pot, phd who has resurfaced on my phone somehow. but i just don't have the cajones to say those words out loud.

is it cowardly to just ignore people? rude? bad karma?

using all my muscles

in an attempt to work more than just my mojo, i made it to the gym for a 2 mile run and an hour of yoga. some hard ass yoga. sweet jesus. after our sun salutations series i was already spent.
mainly because we spent major time going over the plank and chaturanga part for the beginners. my arms will be sore tomorrow. heck they're sore now.

the weather is a little cooler this week but there will be no outdoor running. the air here is all soot and smoke. it's grey and thick out. it smells like all of california just had one big barbecue. and still, i see people smoking outside. losers. total losers. it's been this way since the weekend and until we get these fires under control, i'm doing my best to stay indoors. my neighborhood and where i work are safe, and should be safe unless a new one starts. but all the wind we've been having isn't helping things.

on a lighter note, i do have a funny story to share about airforce dude. when i met him on sunday, i got there early to get there first and position myself at the bar. i'd rather be the one he has to find than me have to look for him. if that makes any sense. it's a place of higher power, i think. anyway, i was foiled because he was already there.

blah blah blah. introductions. talking, talking. laughing, laughing...then we start talking about our match experiences and what we think the opposite sex is most particular about when it comes to the opposite sex. he said women were concerned about 1. balding (he has a full head of hair and i told him i actually like bald dudes) 2. education and 3. height. i was like really? height? being as short as i am, height is NEVER an issue with me. if a dude is shorter than 5'3", well....that hasn't happened. he said in his experience even the girls who are 5 foot look for dudes who are 6 foot.

then it clicked!



that sex in the city episode! where samantha meets that dude in the bar. and she doesn't know he's wearing a boy's suit until he gets up!

and lo and behold! later in the evening he got up to go to the bathroom and i noticed. he's not a midget and he's certainly taller enough than me to not be weird but it amused me to no end how sensitive he was about his height. later i went home and relooked up his profile. it says he's 5'8". let's hope he measures up. ;)

there might be something to this...

airforce dude and i finally got to talk. and finally got to meet. drinks turned into dinner and there was talk of "next time".

not saying he's my match, but it's encouraging.

no electricity

so...i met island boy for drinks last night...originally he wanted to go to dinner in sonoma then hang out there afterwards. nipped that in the bud and said, "why don't we go to happy hour somewhere close and if my back hair doesn't scare you off we can go from there?" i'm not committing a whole evening to someone i barely know. nor spending the gas money just to promptly drive home because he's an ogre in real life.

thankfully he wasn't an ogre. but he wasn't prince charming either. funny enough. nice enough, with all the opening doors and paying. had a lot of qualities i'm looking for in my dude. EXCEPT for nice teeth. and a nice face.

i've maintained that i'm going to be open-minded about looks and not totally reject someone right away if their profile pictures don't blow me away...some people just aren't photogenic. and i reason that the best boyfriend i've ever had was in high school (pathetic i know) and i wasn't attracted to him at first either. and considering my past with hot, but bad dudes, i figure maybe i should concentrate on more than just abs and a winning smile.

so after about the third beverage, i'd made up my mind that he was a great guy just not s someone i'd ever want to cuddle with... in fact the idea of him touching me creeped me out because he had weird hands. something odd about his fingernails. plus he smelled like a guy i used to be friends with until he decided he had feelings for me and got all weird.

and really he wasn't an ogre. he was clean and groomed and even got a haircut that day. i'm maybe just picky? weird? over concerned? with things like how people's hands and teeth look and how they smell. he didn't smell bad. but his pheremones just weren't jiving with mine.

even so, we went to play pool after drinks since i learned that the power was out at home. playing pool with a funny guy beat sweltering at home in the dark.

so at the end of the evening he dropped me off at my car and invited me in. . uh, awkward. luckily i had the excuse of taking the monchichi to 6 flags today. and the monchichi? he's my favorite boy EVER!

the bright side is i had a convo with the fed thursday night. and he had a very seksy voice. airforce dude and i keep exchanging vmails. we'll see what happens.

on the other hand, i've received the following emails from two very attractive men. too bad they're creepy and can't write for shite:

No good tips as if I did I would not need this site. lol Thats funny about the ice cream. So did you also eat an ice cream, and did you have some great seafood in Boston or what. Well I have been in California for a little longer then 3 years and I love it. Love the weather and also love that you can see so mnay beautiful places. Well some of my favorite places are Napa Valley. I love wine tasting. Don't worry I won't get you buzzed and try and take advantage of you. lolol j/k I love going into the city to try different restaurants. Love Tahoe as it is awesome and just so beautiful. I love playing softball, cooking, reading, also love taking scenic drives. Love Carmel and the ride along the coast.

And say thanks to your mom (this is in reference to me thanking him for saying i'm attractive. i said, really i have my mom thank for that or something like that)

my problem with this and his previous email is the excessive use of lol and j/k. huge pet peeve of mine. we're not texting. the second problem is his lame joke about getting my buzzed. gross. even if it is a joke. i can think of better jokes to make.

the second email requires no explanation:
Hi!, Im a white guy from sac town lookin for a good w00man who can handle her business!! You look like alot of fun. Text me @ 955-1793, Ill rock your world!! C-YA!

seriously. this came from a 30 year old man. OY!

so....luckily, i still have the monchichi.

what a weekend!

dudes! i am exhausted. stuffed to the gills. and hoarse from this weekend. and i have over 400 pictures to go through. stay tuned for a full recap. i need a weekend to recover from my weekend. but in the meantime, check out this perfect moment:



the monchichi has become fascinated with his own face. staring at his reflection. hamming it up for the camera then demanding to see the footage right away. i had the camera aimed at us on continuous mode and he surprised me by pulling my face in and planting a big, slopping, wet one on me. melted my heart instantly. he's such an affectionate boy. i FEAR for any girl who tries to date him in the future. they're gonna have one overprotective aunt to tackle if they think they can share his kisses.

come as you are

so, i met my first real live match dude. (and no it wasn't playa playa that i wrote about earlier)

this dude, D, just finished a phd program at uc davis in something like materials science and engineering. he gardens and cooks, has traveled all over and shares my affection for stewie griffen, beer, and crass humor. he has a great relationship with his family and holds similar religious beliefs to mine.

we met for coffee/drinks at a place in davis. it was a great night for sitting outside and talking. the conversation flowed well. he even brought flowers. (cheesy, but nice) all in all a great night.

but. in our talking about vacations and such it came out that he enjoys the mary jane every once in awhile. i asked him just how often he smokes and he said about once every other week. and while i really have no problem if people want to smoke, it's just not my thing. i appreciated his honesty and kinda stammered my way through how i felt about it. slightly unsure about whether this would be a deal breaker.

but it was cool. it wasn't like i left right then and there. and it wasn't like things got awkward. we talked some more and i told him he could call me again. on the ride home i began to think that his habit is a deal breaker. there's a reason i've never done any drugs, even if i do think marijuana really isn't that much worse than alcohol. it's fine for other people to do. but not me. and not my potential "match".

so i plan on telling him when he calls. maybe we can be friends. maybe it doesn't really matter what happens after. but this whole dating at 30 thing? where i'm much more sure of myself, of what i want and what i don't, and having the confidence to assert it? it feels great.

it feels great that even though i'm not at my "goal weight" i can proudly post my profile pictures. it feels great that i don't have to apologize or explain any bad decisions i've made. it feels great that i don't have to feel bad that at 30 i'm not yet married. i had to endure a lot of shit relationships (one in particular) but i think finally it's paying off.

and the summer begins!

this weekend i:

gobbled up some tasty cioppino.
stole kisses from the monchichi.
soaked up some sun at the vallejo marina.
found the ever elusive matcha green tea.
scored some new chaccos.
promptly broke them in by hiking lynch canyon.
sipped on chardonnay while perusing local art.
won a raffle prize gift basket. (4 club level baseball tickets, parking included, mary's pizza shack gc, starbucks coffee, and cranium!)
quenched my thirst with the first hefeweisen of the season.

dudes. this summer is gonna rock.

playa hater

so last night, i chatted on the phone with my first match dud, i mean dude.

the conversing itself went well. lots of laughing etc. he was a funny dude. and if we were co-workers or something we would totally get along. but as a "match"? not so much.

the highlights, i mean lowlights:

1. we somehow got on the topic of past relationships (he brought it up somehow) and he told me about his first love. a long distance relationship while he was in the navy. and how he was a bad bad boyfriend. and saw other girls during their relationship. boo!
   
2. talking about his latest relationship. it was a 6 month affair with a married woman. double boo!
   
3. other women he's dated have gone on to get married to the next guy after dating him. that's 'cause you're not marrying material dude!
   
4. i mentioned my trip to vegas for girls weekend and we got into a convo about how he likes to gamble. while gambling as a diversion isn't necessarily a deal breaker for me, the way he talked about it made me uncomfortable.
5. he's been laid off for a month. this i was more forgiving of.
   
6. he spoke about how much he could drink because he was latino. i mean really, i can throw down, but that's not what i'm gonna talk about the first time i talk to someone. and honestly, i don't throw down nearly as much as i used to. while i don't want a puritan, i don't want someone who still brags about how much they can drink.

NEXT!

shake, rattle, and roll

the rumbling? the shaking? what wasn't sound of me falling off the couch. that was a real bonafide earthquake! the second one i've felt since moving back to california a year and a half ago!

it only registered a 3.9, but the fault lies a mere 10 miles from my house.. the tremor was long enough that i stopped to consider taking cover, but strong enough for me to be too scared to get off the bed.

i'm ok, my family's ok, our stuff's ok. but man oh man! welcome back to california!

long live the chickpea!

today, i tossed canned garbanzo beans in vegetable oil, kosher salt, ground cumin, and cayenne pepper. i spread 'em out on a sheet pan and toasted them for 30 minutes. then i tossed in some toasted almonds and let 'em bake for another 2-3 minutes. then i had a darn tasty snack.

i'm bagging up these puppies and smuggling them into sex and the city this weekend.

i substituted almonds for pistachios because i didn't want to shell the ones we had. and i didn't add thyme because i didn't have any. but the great thing about this recipe is that you could probably season the chickpeas with anything and they'd taste good. crunchy and toasty. yum!

and what do you call em? chickpeas or garbanzo beans?

pushing 30

so, like i said in my last post, as of yesterday i'm on match. and already it's a lot of work...and i'm not even talking about the writing my profile or choosing pictures part. it's the responding and stuff. the winks, the ims, the emails. i get everyone confused and it's not even that many dudes.

but really, every profile i read was pretty generic, boring, or cliche. or just downright poorly written. not that i'm the grammar police or anything. but seriously, do people read books anymore? i was equally interested in the photos...not just for what they looked like, but for what images they chose. whether it looked like they took pictures of themselves with a camera phone all day (lo-ser), whether they had 10 shots of them bare chested (ick). whether they've traveled and whether they had pictures with family and friends. personality comes across much more in pictures, it's a shame so many people don't take better advantage of it.

anyway, enough about my rant. i really am going into this with a positive attitude. so far, so good. no crazy trolls....yet.

what this post was meant to be about was how easy it was to write my profile. (though obviously we'll have to see if it is at all effective) maybe i've had enough practice. or maybe i just know myself that much better. i guess that's what being close to 30 does for you. pushing 30 also means crows feet. as i noticed when selecting recent photos of myself. and surprisingly, it didn't bother me.

i've said it before, and i'll say it again. i think 30 is going to be a good year.

_laughoutloud_

i'm on match.com


hahahahahahahahahahaha....

for reals.

a cooking coup

*just a note, blogger is being lame. it let me change my header but it won't let me change my colors etc. boooo blogger.*

anyway, this weekend was bay to breakers. which i did not run. for the 2nd year in a row. and all my family asked me about it. boooo me. i honestly don't know what it is about my running slump, going on several, several months now. i get busy, i get inspired. i get busy, then i go to crap. i haven't whined about it in awhile, because i mean really, who likes a whiner? i don't. but still it isn't enough to get me motivated. some days i cut myself slack. i tell myself that running isn't the only thing in my life and i am not defined by whether i run or don't run. but there's a voice somewhere that say, c'mon you know you wanna...

...

in other news, i spent a lot of time in the kitchen and a lot of time with family this weekend. both excellent things. at the risk of sounding totally mushy, my family makes me so happy. it's funny to me that i spent my whole life wanting to get out, get away, be on my own and now with them, i am the happiest i have been in a long, long while. i spent all this time trying to find my place, find my life, when it was here all along. it wasn't enough just being me. i'm much happier also being a daughter, and a sister, an aunt, a cousin, a niece, a granddaughter. and quiet suburban life is really starting to grow on me. it's crazy, i know.

as for my cooking coup, i made homemade caesar dressing. which sounds easy enough. and it was. but i have this thing with caesar dressing. i scour high and low for the restaurants with the best caesar dressing...made with real anchovies. not the sour, vinegary crap. and so far i've found only 2 restaurants with to die for dressing. one by the beach i go to, over an hour away, and a pizzeria in the town 10 minutes away. and sometimes 10 minutes is too far to drive. especially when you're too lazy to put on pants. so i found a recipe and figured out i had all the ingredients already in my kitchen! who knew! and let me tell you it was the bomb! (do people still say that?)

i also broke in the new mini muffin tims by making mini quiches! everything tastes better mini. and you totally lose track of how many you eat. among the fillings: roasted red pepper chickn sausage, shredded mexican cheese, spinach, scallions, and dill havarti. yes, dill havarti. yum. i made enough quiches for dinner and a snack tomorrow. once we polish the last of them off, i'm looking to dive into the tub of marinated fresh mozzerella...

dude. i really need to get to running.

splurge

i headed west to go thrifting. in search of treasure. and to escape the heat. i didn’t find much in clothing, but i totally cleaned up in books. and mini muffin tins!
last night, i also made some "dump cake". sounds nasty, but tastes dee-vine! because it has absolutely no nutritional value. in fact, i probably clogged my arteries and gave myself diabetes all in one spoonful. to add insult to injury, i also made rice krispie treats. oh yum. my favorite. the good news is, i was bringing them to a party tonight. the bad news is, i found a recipe for apple dumplings and mousakka.

save your applause til the end

so i actually got myself into the gym today. and now i'm even more sore. the couple miles i ran don't earn me a medal or anything, but i'll take small victories anyday.

who does deserve an award, however, is my dad! yesterday he finally made the decision to retire! lucky for him he has a TON of vacation saved up (16 weeks!) and some sick leave, etc, so he's still on the company's books until september when he officially retires. my parents have worked long and hard, and he finally let himself take a break as this is the year my baby brother graduates from college. after 30 years of service, my dad definitely deserves it! GO DAD!

he's been talking about finally getting some exercise in his old age, so he's coming with me to the gym on saturday for "guest day". we'll just see how that goes :)

riddle me this

what heats your core and makes your muscles quiver?,

what leaves you so hot and sweaty that you can feel your energy pulsing from within.?

what makes your breath deepen while a smile of contentment creeps across your face?

what feels so good you never want it to end?

...

...

it's been a long time my friends, but the reunion was sweet. the yoga class was only this morning, but i'm already sore. the good kind of sore, but my tune might change tomorrow. all i know is, sun salutations are the perfect way to start the day.

whoa! that went fast!

so april was gone in the blink of an eye.

i've been up to a lot lately, just nothing i care to blog about. sometimes, you just don't want things on the internet, ya know? not 'cause it's like secret or private. i would have no problem blabbing to ya'll about it in person. so if you want the dirt, you're just gonna have to make it out here and we can talk about it over some beers. or dirty martinis, which i have recently discovered.

i've been checking in sporadically on y'all as you run/swim//bike your hearts out! eventually, i'll be back up and running sometime soon.

but in the meantime, i've got lots of other stuff a-brewin'!

:) take care kids!

what's new

1. dudes! it's april! A-PRIL! a whole quarter of the year, gone. no more dickin' around...hence the theme for this month's masthead. now begins the real training. biathlon in july. half marathon in august. and a couple fun ones in between. giddy up!

2. i so totally got my ass kicked on the playground this weekend. we celebrated my cousin's birthday at this insane local playground.

climbing up those stairs just to narrowly escape death while sliding down really increases your heart rate. p.s. you go faster if you ride down on a piece of cardboard box.

then there was this rope jungle gym contraption. looked simple enough. til everyone else climbed on and the whole thing shook and gave under everyone's weight.


lots of swinging, sliding, climbing, falling, jumping, chasing, racing, pulling. carrying, hoisting, lifting...all the little ones needed lots of attention and i could barely keep up. i seriously do not know how parents do it.

then the big kids got to play volleyball. sweet jesus, it's been a long time since college intramurals. it was quite comical. but seriously, i hurt in places i don't remember having.

luckily, we were rewarded with some kick ass barbecue.

3. speaking of barbecue, i got my grubby hands on some awesome korean barbecue this weekend. we trekked it to concord to be rewarded with a feast of kalbi, bulgogi, and of course kim chi!



they cook everything at your table so everything is piping hot. just how i like it. if you've never had korean barbecue, in addition to the meat and rice, they bring out at least a dozen little side dishes. some pickled, some spicy, some sweet, some seafood, some tofu, some stuff i'd never heard of. but all tasty! they also bring out large lettuce leafs to wrap the meat in if you prefer. and they just keep refilling all the side plates until you are stuffed. then they bring out dessert! a sweet rice milk dessert. yum!

but i wasn't a total glutton. after dinner we took a stroll on the iron horse trail which was just blocks away!



4. and finally, in my sidebar, you'll notice widgets to check me out on twitter and flickr. twitter is fast becoming my latest addiction. finally a place to record all the little random thoughts and happenings as they happen. as if blogger isn't enough!

powered by cheez-its

i think my blog is more about food than running. well, eating is my favorite activity. i've been doing it my whole life and i'm damned good at it! anyway, somehow i managed to plow through half a box of these cheez-its. they're reduced fat. i'm only reduced bad. but eating half a box means i had absolutely no appetite for anything else. and i was thirsty!

i thought it might make my track run today totally sucky. but nope. we were fast today. 2 miles in 20:45. woot! 70 seconds faster than last week. the 400 m splits: 2:29, 2:35, 2:33, 2:34, 2:39 (can you tell we're tiring?), 2:39, 2:41, 2:31. it was by no means easy. but the great thing about a fast 2 miles is that the pain is brief and the pride lasts all night!

p.s. to answer anne's question about the photo collage below. i used this to create the collage from photos i uploaded to my flickr account. now that i've replaced my broken digital camera, i hope to resume my picture a day effort.

easter weekend

friday: so i'm on my way to dinner, in the middle of rush hour traffic when all of a sudden cop cars rush in on all sides. i see big K9s jump out of the truck and i heard "put your hands up!" guns are drawn and i swear to bob they are pointed at me. my hands jump off the steering wheel . and i shit my pants. they are nearing MY car. all i could think was "holy shit, i'm gonna die on good friday!"

then i notice the coppers going for the car in front of me. and the car behind me. how in the HELL did i get stuck in the middle?! i still can't breath a sigh of relief because i have no idea what the HELL they are after there hoodlums for. i slink down as much as possible and pray for my life. i'm serious. all i could think of was, "why was i so rude to my parents before i left home? now i'm gonna die and the last thing i said to my mother was " you ate all the food?!"

so the cops do their thing, and slowly get all the perps out of the cars and into custody. i can see everyone else in their cars whipping out their cameras. i guess i was the only one worried about a shoot out.

thankfully, saturday and sunday were much more calm and filled with my favorite things: family and food!
that's some serious food right there. i haven't had ceviche or oysters in probably a year! and ditto for flan. oh sweet, sweet flan.

i managed to get to the gym on saturday night, after my first gluttonous feast. i was burping up lechon the entire time. i managed a 2mile treadmill run in 21:12. for me, peeps, that's fast! the half mile breakdowns:

5:30, 5:25, 5:17, 4:59! WOOT!

and even though my stomach was feeling bloaty, i headed to the pool for the same 900m workout i did on monday.

granted those two workouts combined weren't enough to burn off half the calories i consumed just LOOKING at all the food i ate this weekend, but i'd like to think it makes me less of a glutton!

ah, spring!

yesterday, i felt like a pile o' poo. i barely had the energy after work to pour myself a bowl of cereal for dinner. but today? whoa baby. i had energy to spare! i have no idea where it came from, but i was happy for the change in mood.

so while the endorphins where high, i laced up some old trail shoes and headed for the hills. we've got plenty 'round here. and even though some places were pretty steep both up and down, my hour long hike/walk was the perfect low key workout to welcome spring!

i made it back to civilization before the sun finally set and capped off my evening with a frosty cold beer and some blackened red snapper. not bad for a thursday. not bad at all.

powered by burritos

at 12:30, i ate a burrito.

i thought, 6 hours is enough time to process a burrito, right?

just barely. i popped 2 tums before i left the house and i think that's the only thing that saved me.

later, after i got home, showered and had a glass of milk, i finally burped it up. ick.

somehow though i managed 2 miles in 21.53. or i should say, my running partner and i. we both agreed that running without each other pretty much sucks. not that we were particularly chatty today. we must have uttered like 20 words during the run. during the warmup and cooldown, though, she was able to ask me about doing a logo for her husband who's looking to start his own clothing line.

and surprise, axel f is a great running song.

more love/hate

i got my hair cut after work and the first thing my stylist said when i sat in the chair was, "your hair is dry" EGAD! WHAT!? no one has ever said that about my hair! my hair is hardy and healthy! stupid, stupid pool! stupid, stupid, chlorine! first my skin, now my hair. ugh.

so she conditioned, deep conditioned, nipped off the ends, and applied a miracle product which made my hair softer than it's ever been! i was a walking pantene commercial.

until i pulled on my swim cap and dove into the pool. my hair was perfect for all of 20 minutes.

but a girl's gotta do, what a girl's gotta do. and i had 900m of swimming to do. here's how it went down:

warmup:
1 x 25, 1 x 50, 1 x 75
main set:
3 x 25: fingertip drill
3 x 25: lead left
3 x 25: lead right
3 x 25: freestyle kick
3 x 25: pull
3 x 25: butterfly kick
easy swim:
3 x 50
cool down:
2 x 50, 1 x 50

i didn't have my watch so i couldn't time it, but it felt easy. i had plenty of gas by the end of the workout. woot!

swimming after work is so relaxing and refreshing. BUT. there are some weird characters at the pool. i've mentioned some before. but tonight, there were 2 lovebirds splashing in the deep end of one of the lanes. dude had on so much cologne i could smell it over the chlorine. i was just praying that there was no way i would get any stds by sharing the same pool water. ick.

so let's get that image out of our heads with a pic of the monchichi from this weekend:

yes, his shirt says, "ladies man". on saturday, we went for a walk, had lunch, spent the afternoon at chuck e. cheese, then napped for like, forever! on sunday, i took him to his first movie. and he LOVED it. at least the popcorn part. we went shopping and walked away with a little duckie that danced the chicken dance. then we went to the park before yet another long nap.

this weekend was the best birth control ever. i love the kid more than anything, but man, i could barely keep up!

p.s. my mom's watching the bachelor, which i NEVER watch bc i think it's just so embarrassing, but one of the girls, i went to high school with!!! she's the bush aide. seriously, is that the first thing you want to tell someone? to impress them? she's exactly as i remembered her from high school. except that she didn't try to sing to him. she was ALWAYS singing in h.s. i just googled her and it turned out she's been in d.c. and studied for the bar while on the show. craziness. who knew d.c. law firms were keen on their associates appearing on reality shows. oh and she's a marathoner.

catching up

losing an hour has totally screwed with my body clock. normally, i wake up around 530 every morning. this week i've been getting up closer to 730! that's 2 hours behind, yo! while i enjoy it being light out after work, it sucks that i have to sacrifice daylight in the morning. i'm hoping my body finds equilibrium over the weekend. though it's doubtful. i'm babysitting the monchichi til sunday, while my brother and sis in law enjoy her birthday weekend in reno. at least the little kid and i have the same bedtime!

my swim lesson on wednesday was ho-hum. it hasn't turned into a class yet, though that's what they're aiming for. judy decided to torture me with lots of kicking drills. everything from my hips down was burning by the end of the lesson. she kept saying, it's good for you. bah!

this morning, the group ran 2.25 miles. it's still taking me at least 15 minutes to not hate running, but i'm not feeling as stiff as i was before. it's amazing how for 25 minutes i'm cursing the fact that i'm running, but the second i'm done it's like "oh my god! that was so awesome! i feel so refreshed! i could do that all day!" HA! and i still think it's magic that the group makes me run faster. it's definitely an effort. but hopefully one that will pay off in the end.

arms and legs

my delinquent ass got to the track to join the group today. and boy am i glad i did! not only did they miss me (yeah!), but they made me run faster than i normally do. how do they do that?! we ran 1.75 miles in 18:56 which is a shade faster than 11 minute miles. and here i've been barely slogging along at 12+ minute miles by myself. go team!

i carried my runner's high to the pool where i swam for 55 minutes. at the end of one lap, as i caught my breath a dude approached me and said, "you've been swimming forever!" oh dude, you just made my day. i'm digging my stroke lately. it feels natural and fluid and my laps are getting easier and easier. i wish there was a fool proof way to count my laps. my watch manual says it's only water resistant if you press the buttons out of the water, so i really would have to stop at every lap or 2 to press the lap button. plus honestly, i am so into swimming i don't even remember to count. i've seen a little clicker that you wear on your finger to count laps. how do you keep track of laps?

my lessons on wednesday are turning into a group class. and i'm cool with that. hopefully there are people better than me. i find it makes me swim better. it makes me want to do better. we shall see tomorrow. if i can even move my arms tomorrow...

weekend recap: my head is back in the game

this weekend was a clusterfuck of the mind. for most of saturday, i stewed. that evening, i met up with my littlest brother and cousin for second saturday in midtown sacramento when all the galleries open up to the public for free. while i wasn't necessarily inspired by the work (it was sacramento, after all), i did enjoy the fresh air and the company. we then had some "bomb-ass" thai food, as my brother would say. it's the best thai i've had since moving back to california. plus i always love eating with the littlest bro. since he's a chef, we get to talk all geeky foodie like, talking about texture, aroma, spices, cooking science, presentation, freshness, etc. he appreciates food in all the ways i do! my middle brother? he is so picky i sometimes dread eating with him.

so i spent the night in sac and got to wake up and play with the nephew. we played and played and played until about noon when i had to go. i shopped for a good number of hours, picking up some new bras (which are FANTASTIC! the t-back is so comfortable and the girls have never been so happy!), some things for my friend's new baby, and some new shoes. when i got home, i took the 'rents to see the bank job. it was decent enough. jason statham is worth paying full movie price to see on the big screen. and i love british accents. it wasn't as fun as i thought i was going to be. in fact, it turned much more serious in the end.

i haven't yet seen the other boleyn girl. i figured my dad wouldn't care for it, which is why i chose the bank job instead. and i won't get to see it this weekend since i'm babysitting. but i'm sure in due time i'll get to see my dear, sweet bana on the big screen. and i'll do my best to block out the other two. bleh.

anyway, we got home from the movie, and i think i let myself be tortured for an hour over the $80,000 question of grad school. essentially, i'm limited to 2 schools in the s.f. area; i do not want to move again to go to school, just to move back. both schools are private, hence the steep cost. funding is limited to loans because there just really aren't any fellowships or grants for graphic design. so then my mind spiraled to me never being able to buy a house because of my huge student loan debt, me working 5 jobs just to live, me being a crazy, unhappy, overweight spinster living with my parents until the day i die......my mind does that. takes one worry then extrapolates it to the nth degree until i am literally petrified.

it also works when i'm excited too though. once i was done thinking that, i thought
of all the great people i'd meet, the great work i'd get to put in my portfolio, the research i'd get to do, the dream job that could be mine, the satisfaction in using my talents for something useful and inspiring. then i felt better.

so somewhere between those two scenarios will lie what actually happens. i figure i'll take it a month at a time. get my apps and portfolios done and get accepted. then worry about money. a lot of opportunities could come my way in the next 2-3 years that could improve my situation, and i'm banking on things getting better. grad school will really only make me a better designer.

so i'm done blathering on about that, for now. tonight, i swim. and i have a feeling it will feel oh, so good.

my mind is elsewhere

thursday, i managed a 2.5 mile run in the am. but that's all. after work, i skeedaddled to s.f. for a "thing" and by the time i got home i was ravenous and tired. so the next morning, i chose sleep over working out. friday was the most stressful day at work in my 3 months there and all i could do to cope was think of beer. all pretty lame excuses but whatever.

running and swimming have taken a far back seat to things lately. all i can think about is grad school. how i'm going to pay for it. how i'm gonna even manage school and work. getting excited about it, then getting worried again. i think i need to just shut the fuck up, do the applications and the questions will answer themselves. but i can't help but feel the need to plan and strategize the coming months over and over again in my head until it makes sense.

many people say they work things out in their heads while they run. many say exercise helps them cope. lately, it's become just one more chore that doesn't get done because i'm focused and fretting over something else.

but i did manage to finish up the march design of my masthead.

two-fer

my sorry ass hasn't worked out in a week. i even missed our group run last night to take care of a family situation. boooo! but i made up for it by running and swimming today.

am run: i find that it takes me a long while to get warmed up. and after awhile, even though i'm good and warm, the outer calf pain starts. i was able to keep that pain at bay during marathon training because i was going to yoga once a week, if not twice. in fact, i should get the yoga mat out now and do some warrior poses during idol.

though i did find that when i ran faster, the outer calf pain decreased. or maybe i was more concerned about my hard breathing. whatever it is, i know i just need to be patient and i'll get back in the groove. despite my pathetic distance, by the end i thought, "damn! morning runs are better than crack!" although we all know, i know nothing about crack.

pm swim class: i told judy about my rash and she said i wasn't the first person to mention that to her! she said even she gets little red bumps. so she's investigating.

getting back in the pool felt good. i've been away for 2 weeks, afraid of worsening my skin condition and/or contaminating the pool with whatever i had. luckily, i still had my mojo. today we refined my stroke even more, focusing on slicing my hand into the water by rotating my arm so that my thumb enters the water first. at the end of my lesson after swimming more laps, i practiced flip turns. these things are getting so easy!

i'd like to get another two-fer in again tomorrow. i've got some catching up to do!

lists: what's up and 7 random things

it's been awhile since my last post (and my last workout). here's what's been up.

1. my body has become allergic to life. my regular seasonal allergies are kicking my ass and it appears my skin has also decided to mutiny. the day after my last swim class (two wednesdays ago), my skin has been itching like mad. at first i didn't notice the random nagging itches in random places. until i realized that i had about scratched myself raw and produced a million little bumps all over. ick. i haven't used any new detergent, soaps, lotions, or potions. nor have i eaten anything different. i'm assuming it's a combination of icky pool skank and extreme dry skin. the itchiness lingers today but to a lesser degree. i've upped moisturization efforts just short of slathering on olive oil and mayonnaise and wrapping myself up in a cocoon every night. if anyone has any recommendations, i'd greatly appreciate it.
2. i was an expo bandit this weekend. the napa valley marathon was this weekend and even though i wasn't running it, i checked out the expo in search of great deals on running gear. i didn't find any good deals but i did get to hear the keynote address given by joan benoit-samuelson, 1984 olympic marathon champion. (tangent: in my head i kept referring to her as jon benet ramsey). she was funny, candid, and honest. she talked about her marathon strategies (she doesn't look at the course beforehand or keep track of every mile marker), her crosstraining (lots of nordic skiing and gardening), what it was like to pace lance armstrong in the ny marathon (she said she felt like his sherpa because he demanded a gel at every mile marker), and the importance of running your own race, both in running and life.
   
   getting a glimpse into the elite athlete's life is always inspring. you sometimes forget that the elite have the same ups and downs, the same vulnerability to injury, the same crappy weather conditions to run in, thinking that somehow because they have god given talent that running is easier, effortless for them. but it's not. hearing joan benoit-samuelson speak reminded me of my favorite scenes of the spirit of the marathon was when she was in her kitchen, cooking and drinking wine.
   
   i also ran into dean karnazes! i had NO idea he was going to be there otherwise i would have gotten there much earlier and brought my book for him to sign. when i saw him, his people were ushering him away from the groupies, as he was already late for his next engagement. he was very kind and stopped to take photos before jetting off. honestly, if i did have time to talk to him i don't even know what i'd say. "uh hi, i read your book. i think you're kind of crazy, actually." also, dude is TINY. which is guess is obvious since he's a runner. though he does have a lot of muscle. he looks likes he's negative percent body fat. but all i could think was, dude i could totally sit on him and crush him.
3. while in napa, i also hit up a local brewery. leave it to me to go to the land of grapes to sample the hops instead. while seated at the bar, a real live bonafide cowboy took the seat next to me. white stetson, tight wranglers, pearl snaps, and all. how does that not feel like a costume? anyway, cowboy asked for a budweiser, totally oblivious to the fact that he stepped foot in a microbrewery. instead he got their pale ale with a lime. i hope it wasn't to wussy for him. i had a pint of their amber, porter, and stout with the best fish and chips i've ever had.
   
4. i've been engrossed in researching mfa programs. it's become very clear that in order to bring my career to the next level, i need an mfa. plus it also gives me the option to teach, which is something i would like to do, either in conjunction with a commercial career or something later in life. i'm looking to stay in california and in the san francisco area ideally. i'm also looking to go full time and really hope it won't take me 4 years. i'm also looking for a sugar daddy to fund this endeavor. i'm kidding, but not entirely.
5. i've been spending lots of quality time with the nephew. he always makes me happy. and it's impossible to feel the need for a bf when the monchichi is so good at needing my love and attention.

that's about it folks. also, sometime last week, my favorite squirrel tagged me. she turned a post about sweet sweet eric bana into homework. so in no particular order, 7 random things about me:

1. i am obsessed with notebooks. in my purse i carry my planner/checkbook, my diary, a notebook for notes (directions, notes from voicemails, etc), and a small notebook of affirmations. cheesy, i know. but that book works. i have a drawer of empty notebooks of all sizes and types just waiting to be filled. sometimes i buy them and sometimes i get them free from paper shows and paper promotions. but i can never pass up a good little notebook. my fave so far: the moleskine.
2. i make the best fried rice on the planet. thanks to one very special ingredient: spam. spam fried rice, with soy sauce, eggs, and green onions is my favorite carboloading meal.
   
3. i've never experimented with drugs. not even pot. and it wasn't like it was never offered. i just never had any interest. i didn't drink until i was 21 either. i was one of those "i'm high on life" perky teenagers. i'm neither proud nor ashamed of my drug-free status. and it had nothing to do with the D.A.R.E. program. does that even still exist
4. my favorite present to give is board games. cheesy i know. but every couple i've given the deluxe scrabble game to (you know with the board on the turntable) tells me they use it all the time! plus, it's a present i can use too!
5. i bite my fingernails. it's a gross disgusting habit, but i can't stop.
   
6. i think oprah is annoying. do i even need to elaborate? if i had to choose a media mogul to spend the day with, it would totally be martha stewart. i mean she's done prison time!
   
7. i have a birthmark on my right arm. my parents tell me that my dad had the same mark in the same spot on his arm and that when i was born, his disappeared. and i believed them! it's a cute story anyway.

i'm supposed to tag 7 other people, but consider yourself tagged if you're reading this and so inclined to follow along!

smooooooth

he should really consult with me before doing anything like this. even for a role.

whatever. i wouldn't kick him out of bed for this.

the cake diet

last week, i made a red velvet layer cake. yum! it was sweet torture trying to finish the damn thing (i had cake at every meal!) but finally, by saturday we did. on sunday, i went to my brother's house and he had an orange zest layer cake! it was 10 times better than my red velvet cake and unlike anything i'm sure my parents have ever tried. so i brought some home for them...and we're STILL trying to finish up the leftovers. it's great...but oh so bad. i do not recommend the cake diet.

on the running front, we did 1.5 miles today. i'm not noticing any soreness afterwards or anything, but i am finding the sides of my calves to be really tight when running. it looks like i'm gonna have to dust off my yoga mat and get to doing some warrior poses. where is my yoga mat? i abandoned it sometime last summer...

p.s. how in the world do people fit in every aspect of working out? stretching, cardio, and strength training? i seriously find it hard enough to get in all my swimming and running workouts, much less adding more time for yoga AND strength training?

running with a 10 year old

my partner was attending to mom duties this morning so i thought i'd be bringing in the rear by myself today. not so. as the slowest runner i got the "stuck with" coach's son. he can't run the entire distance but he doesn't want to get bumped back into the run/walk group away from his dad. so when it became apparent that if i were to run my pace the kid would be left alone, i decided to stick with the kid.

to keep him motivated, we played the age old game of running from landmark to landmark with shortish breaks in between. i should have told him we were running a fartlek. i bet he would have gotten a kick out of that. for me, talking to a kid is much easier than talking to an adult. i found out he's 10, plays baseball and his favorite team is the red sox. he just started playing the clarinet and would rather have fridays off for 3 day weekends because he has band on monday. i was half tempted to ask about his dad but honestly, i'm not that interested.

so the kid and i finished up our mile and a half and joined the rest of the group to stretch. his dad thanked me profusely, but i was happy to help. besides i got another mile and half in myself afterward. and i have to say, my workout with the kid was much more enjoyable than my solo run.

talking to myself

am i the only one who needs to give themselves a pep talk in the morning?

even though i woke up ahead of my alarm, i didn't want to get up. i contemplated sleeping in. spending every last second i could in bed, but i wasn't sleepy. what would be the point in that?

but i knew that if i didn't get up with enough time to psych myself out for a positive day, i would be in a grump all day. and why waste a friday in a grumpy mood?

but still, it shouldn't require this much effort to get out of bed and be a productive member of society. please tell me i'm not the only one...

casual or tux?

i choose both. my pretend celebrity boyfriend is so hot. can we clone him? can i please shut up about him already?

no running or swimming today. i opted for martinis instead.

substitute teacher

judy was m.i.a. tonight so i had a sub. i can't for the life of me remember her name. something really happy though, like hope or something like that. anyway, judy left notes saying i needed help with my breathing. i told her i also had hip sinking issues. so straight away, she sent me across the pool. and when i reached the other side she said she didn't see anything wrong! wtf? back and forth i went and she only had positive remarks!

until i showed her my breast stroke. my pull was good, my kick was good. the timing of the two, not so good. apparently, the way i was doing it was very counterproductive. so we spent the bulk of my lesson retraining my brain and body to sync my stroke for optimum glide.

and get this dudes, i did my first flip turn! wahoo! i actually did a couple! and i didn't slam my feet on the wall. i haven't yet integrated it into my laps yet, but i still can't believe my feet made contact with the wall. pushing off is so much fun!

my sub also planted many many seeds in joining her and some of the other swimmers in doing some triathlons. they've got plans for the ice breaker in april and one in september. the baby tri looks doable: 400 yard swim, 6.5 mi bike, 2 mi run. BUT the bike course is windy and hilly. eeek! anyway, whether i join them in the race(s) or not, i'm hoping to get in some open water swims with them. or at the very least some swimming in the outdoor lap pool that is not heated. eeek!

she also planted seeds about joining masters swimming. this sub, i tell you, she's on crack. i'm honestly just getting used to working out 6 days a week. but honestly, i foresee some great, huge fitness strides this year. turning 30 is seriously gonna kick some serious ass!

night. rain. run.

running at night in the rain is freaking awesome!

granted we were only out for a mile, but it was a pretty exhilerating mile. at the end i didn't want to stop, but i also didn't want to seem like a showoff. i figure i can get my "real" miles in on thursday during my solo workout, and i'll try to squeeze in a few before my saturday group workout.

so far, the group thing is going well. i'm running faster than i would by myself, which probably has to do with the fact that i'm only running a mile for now. but i'll take it. and talking while running isn't as bad as i thought. especially when you only have to talk for a mile! the woman who is my pace is the newbiest of newbies but she seems very determined and even laughs when i'm trying to be funny. good enough for me.

i barely recognized gucci since she was decked out in a normal hoodie and hat. though i sadly admit, she finished before me. booooooo!

as for the coach with no wedding band, he's not the one with the annoying voice. and while he has no wedding band and is in fact pretty cute, i found out tonight he has a son. hmmmm...

oh and the headlamp? made me feel hardcore.



ps neither running coach nor phelps twin look as good as eric. *swoon*

no holiday for me

one word for today's swim workout: eh.

i was tired going into my workout and felt tired throughout. i almost feel like i'm a worse swimmer now. thinking way too much about my hips which do nothing but sink. but i know i'm not really worse, i just feel that way because i keep concentrating on the one thing that still really sucks about my form. any tips on keeping my hips up where they need to be?

now that i can swim more than one length of the pool without dying, i've been doing some research on beginning swim workouts to help build endurance. i read somewhere that i should take my time on swimming 500m and use that time to measure my progress. i cut that distance to 200m.
100: 2.43
100: 2.54
T: 5:37

i also worked on somersaults today and i totally rocked them! i even tried getting closer and closer to the wall of the pool. my big fear is flipping over and slamming my feet and ankles on the lip of the pool. OW! and i still don't know how i'm not gonna get dizzy from flipping each time i reach the end of the pool.

tomorrow night is our second group run. it's supposed to rain. we have to bring flashlights or headlamps. what in the world is gucci hat gonna do? i've got an hour and a half between the end of work and the start of our workout. if i go home in between i totally see myself napping right through the workout. the other option is to get dressed at the gym and get in a good lifting session.

ugh.

natalie and scarlett who?

the other boleyn girl is coming out soon and the media is in a frenzy interviewing and snapping shots of the two main actresses. but you all know why i've been dying for this movie to finally come out:



can we all just breathe a collective sigh? *swoon*

saturday

i woke up at around 630 with lots of time to kill before my group run. i did some laundry, ate breakfast, surfed the net...by the time i was out the door for my run i was already feeling tired!

i don't really feel like going into all my first impressions and observations. but i will say this:

1. the head coach's voice is really annoying.
2. i am probably the 3rd youngest person there.
3. my running coach did not have a wedding band on.
4. i was the second to last runner to finish our mile and i was pushing it even though they told us not to. i came in around 10 minutes.
5. the one who finished last was wearing a gucci hat. and makeup.

when we finished we stretched, i picked up my shirt and drove to the lagoon to fit in another 2 miles. 2 very uninspired miles, but done nonetheless.

i showered, changed, ran some errands, and am now back in the bed for a post lunch nap. i think my workout from friday wiped me out. my hamstrings are sore.

happy saturday y'all.

p.s. i ended up staying in last night with a movie: notes on a scandal. holy crap! that's some intense effed up shite right there!

FRIDAY NIGHT!

at 5 pm, it was 58 degrees and sunny. i knew i had at least an hour left of daylight and i wasn't going to waste any more time in my car than i had to. i drove to the gym, changed, and headed outside for an easy 2 miler. but despite nature handing me the most perfect running weather, i hadn't planned the most perfect running route. i ran along busy streets, with heavy traffic, past numerous smelly gas stations, and several fast food restaurants. blech. but whatev. i got my some much needed vitamin k and logged 2 miles.

then i headed inside to the pool for some laps. i warmed up with 50m of freestyle kick, then 50m breaststroke kick. then i did 100m pulling, 100m breastroke, 100m freestyle. then repeated that set and cooled down the same way i warmed up. then i practiced my somersaults. they're definitely getting better, but i could only do about 5 before starting to get dizzy.

so that's it folks! the weekend has officially started...and i'm off to the movies!

FRIDAY!

I'm finding it very hard to concentrate at work today!

pain in the neck

is it possible to get whip lash in your sleep?

or maybe it's meningitis.

whatever it is, dudes it hurts! my neck is so stiff and so freaking sore, it hurts when i'm not even moving. i was roused from deep sleep at around 4am that's how bad it hurt.

the odd thing is that this neck pain is more frequent than ever. something i've picked up in my late, late 20s. stress? bad posture?

or maybe my brain is just getting heavier and denser and my poor little neck just can't support it. or maybe i'm just getting old.

hump day

no inspiration for a title today dudes.

went to the "informational" meeting on the training group and signed up. of the 75 people, 80% are run/walkers. the upside is that i'll get more one on one attention from the one coach dedicated to the runners. the downside is that the training schedule is like ridiculously easy (so i say now) they have threatened tuesday speed workouts, so i might change my mind once those start. once i get back into the swing of things, i might just start tacking on some miles on the saturday "long run" workouts to get me ready for the 10k in april. and once i'm done with the group, i'll be back up in mileage to run with the normal free running groups that also meet on saturdays, until i have to buck up for CIM training! but for now, our first group workout is saturday where we have to walk a mile (snooooze). tomorrow i'm going to try to run two.

went to my swim lesson tonight. last week i missed it because i went home in between work and class and totally fell asleep. HA! luckily they didn't make me pay for that lesson. we did a lot of pulling today to get me to keep my damned hips up. my stroke is kicking ass and my kick is great when i'm kicking with the board. but putting the two together and down go my hips. we also spent some time treading water which got my arms very sore...though that's a good thing. getting an upper body workout without having to lift a weight is ideal.

ok peeps, sorry for the boring post. the good news is that spring is in the air...at least here!

12 weeks to a 5k?

my local running store runs a variety of training groups. i missed the sign up for the half marathon, and the marathon group doesn't start up til june. what they're running now is a "no boundaries" 5k group. i'm thinking of joining for a couple reasons:

1. i am coming off an injury, one that will reoccur if i overuse too quickly.
2. i would like to meet new peeps.
3. i would like to run outside and really only feel safe doing it with other people while it's dark.
   
4. i'm hoping a group would keep me motivated and consistent with training.

but...the program is 12 weeks! 12 weeks to train for a 5k? they say it's not just for wanna-be runners, but also for people easing back into running or anyone looking to better their time. but 12 weeks seems like a long time. i had originally planned on taking 8 weeks to train for a 10k.

even so, i think i may check out the informational meeting tomorrow. saturday's the first workout but once we pay and we get the training schedule there are no refunds. even if the training may seem slow, training with the group seems to have more benefits than training alone does right now. and perhaps i can supplement the workouts by adding time in before or after the workouts.

we'll see...i don't even know if the group thing will suit my personality.

p.s. i finally broke it off with MH tonight. it's been weighing on me for quite some time and every time i would try to do it, i just couldn't. i'll spare you the details. it wasn't terribly messy, part of me thinks he saw it coming, but he made it very clear there is no room for friendship.

it's not that i'm heartbroken. maybe a little sad. but honestly, more relieved. it really was the right thing to do for a lot of reasons. though, this may be the first time i'm a little sad on valentine's day.

i love running, again!

and swimming...

but first, the running. 5k today in perfect conditions. 45 and sunny. a leetle windy but nothing too bad, once you got moving. my goal: to finish. my hope: that i could still run the entire distance.

and i did! as i got ready this morning, the process of getting dressed, lathering on the bodyglide, and lacing up the shoes, i felt like it all started coming back to me. that routine which i had abandoned for a quarter of the year still felt familiar.

taking my first steps and breath of the brisk morning air, i knew i was home again. it felt so good, almost like i'd never been away. i found a rhythm early, albeit a slow one, and i honestly felt like my whole body was singing.

not to say it was effortless. it was uncomfortable at times, but the idea of finishing without stopping kept me going. passing people kept me going. so i kept going, right on down to the finish line! time: 37:34 my watch is being dumb right now, but i ran each mile in a little over 12 minutes, with my last mile being the fastest.

definitely not a noteworthy time, but a fun, fun run nonetheless.

now onto my swimming. in one lane there was a dude, a serious swimmer doing serious laps. not once during the entire time that i was there did i see him stop. he was joined by his bionic twin and they caused many a wave in the pool. i shared a lane with a serious chick. at first she made me nervous, but i decided to take advantage of the opportunity and observe her. without being obvious of course because that would be creepy. somehow swimming next to her pushed me to do better. i thought, let's see if i can go across and back without stopping. even if i have to stop in the middle on the way back. and wouldn't you know i made it all the way both ways! HUGE breakthrough! i did a couple more laps like that with rests in between the 50 m. i was like floored. and totally stoaked.

then at some point i thought, hmmm maybe i can do 3 times across? well my friends, 3 turned into 6! SIX! wtf!? the cool thing is i didn't feel out of breath or totally crazed like i do sometimes when i can complete only 1. maybe i had "endurance" on the brain and that sustained me and calmed me the entire distance.

i left the pool feeling like a mother effing rockstar.

i also practiced flip turns and was finally able to do a decent somersault. but no flip turn. i hate feeling dizzy though and i don't know how i'm not gonna get seasick once i start to get some real laps in.

so that's the end of my athletic adventures! it's a great way to start my weekend. let's just hope i don't twist my ankle again tonight while i'm shakin' my thang on the dance floor. i want to keep this momentum going!

sleep through the static

everything you loved about jack johnson PLUS some electric guitar.

i'm swooning. and going running!

my potty humor

so you know how work email accounts usually go first initial last name@whatever.com? like jdoe@whatever.com.

today, i received an email from a Catherine Litsinger....

no joke. and not spam.

seriously, made coming into work today totally worth it.

running redemption and amendment to my 2008 goals

while my swimming has picked up, my running has been non-existent. for roughly 3 months. it's been part burn-out, part injury, part wintertime blahs. after letting a whole month of the new year tick by without so much as a trot around the block, i'm making february the month i fall in love with running again.

saturday, i'm running a 5k. the same one i ran last year to kick off my running season. i certainly won't PR, like i did last year. i may even have a personal worst. even so, i'm going to do my damnedest to run every inch of the race, even if i resort to the kind of shuffling you see bleary eyed marathoners do in the 24th mile. i really do expect to do horribly. but that's ok. i'm hoping the black and white numbers of my crappy time and the burning in my lungs will light a fire under my ass.

the real race i'm training for is on april 5. it's a 10k through the carneros vineyard. the $30 registration fee includes a tshirt (duh), pancake breakfast, commemorative wine glass, wine tasting, and a raffle ticket for more schwag from the winery. pretty sweet, huh?

i've got to get in good shape by then because the second half of the year is when i have my big races planned. in may, i'm planning to run bay to breakers. i have planted a seed in several of my cousins' minds about running/doing it together. let's hope they come through.

the summer brings several options. in june, i had originally planned to run a 10k through a different winery, whose amenities include a big barbecue party, but i might swap that out for the napa-sonoma half marathon in july. and i would start marathon training the week after that. i'm planning to do my training with a group this time.

i have 3 opportunities to do the aquathlon, as it is held once in june, july, and august. i'm guessing that i won't be ready until august, if i'm ready at all. open water swimming ain't no joke and if i'm not ready to swim 1.5k without the safety of a pool, i'll find a different swimming challenge. and then there's the matter of wetsuit vs no wetsuit. blech. i'm not trying to be a quitter here, just realistic.

i'm aiming for a december marathon. CIM is the front runner, but las vegas is a close second. i also considered seattle, which is the end of november.

everyone and their mother

it was a dark and story saturday night. i thought for sure that the pool would be nice and empty. and it was....to begin with. i got there and there was only one chick in the pool and someone's uncle jeb in the spa. seriously, dude had curly mullet, handlebar mustache, and a gold chain on his hairy chest. blech.

i warmed up a few laps and then the crowds came. like out of nowhere. through every door possible. phelps twin and his tubby sidekick, another dude that look like he belonged to them and what looked like his little sister. luckily they stayed away from my lane but they were making tons of waves. i felt like i was in the ocean or something. as i ended my 5th or 7th lap, a dude asked to share my lane. then his wife came along and we had three in one lane!

it didn't start off a good workout, as i felt really slow and tired, and the hoardes of people were a bit of a distraction. but after awhile, by concentrating on tuning them out, i think i was able to concentrate more on swimming too. i barely used the board because it was hurting my shoulders. i concentrated mainly on getting consecutive laps in and pulling when i got tired. i also found i can take 6 strokes between breaths. when i'm not tired that is. towards the end, i got back down to 4. but i felt much improved and faster when i could breath in 6.

i have no idea how many laps i did total or how long i worked out since i left my watch at home. so i used the good ol' exertion test and quit when i was spent. by then the pool was empty. i meant to practice flip turns but only remembered when i was in the shower. DOH!

wtf!?

so i'm doing some online research on "aquathlon" and this is what i come up with!!! underwater wrestling!!!! aqua=water and athlon=wrestling?!? the video and pictures are seriously effed up.

WTF?!

is this training for if you meet a shark in open water? or if you want to take down opponents in your next triathlon?

there's even a section on underwater combat involving a knife, where they train you to punch, choke or tear off the equipment of your opponent. wtf?!

and there's aqua gymnastics:










what a bunch of crazies!