we're past the date most people have given up on their new years resolutions

i've made some pretty ambitious (and unrealistic) resolutions on this blog in the past. mainly dealing with fitness and weight loss. but i'm so over that now. in my earlier 30s i felt the need to keep up with my 20-something self. but now i have neither the time nor vanity to keep up a 2 hour-a-day in the gym regimen. the fact of the matter is my job is more demanding, my marriage is more important, and i have far more family obligations than i did as a hot single chick. and i'm way cool with that.

i'm not cool with how i've "let myself go" physically but i think i can 'stand' being a size 8 instead of a size 4. what i am most not cool with is my lack of energy and overall happiness. so that my friends is what we're working on this year.

it's obvious i need to be more active. does that mean i have to train for a marathon this year? no. as much as i'd like to, it just doesn't fit in with my lifestyle right now. i get up at 5am and get home from work at 6pm. i'm sorry but i ain't spending the 4 hours i have in the evening training for no stinkin' marathon. but what i can do, and what i have done, is get off at a further bus stop from work and walk an extra mile. i don't have time to get dressed to work out, workout, then shower and change. if i walk to work, at lunch, and after work i can log a little over 6 miles a day. i may not drop down to a size 4 overnight on this plan, but it's a step in the right direction towards overall better health. as gretchen rubin says, "exercise for sanity not vanity"

once upon a time i gave up carbs. i honestly can't believe i cared that much about being skinny to give up carbs. when i lived on my own it was actually kind of easy. but living with my mom and living with a man makes it very hard to keep delicious tempting food out of reach and out of mind. if you've ever been to a filipino family party you'll understand why i can't keep the carbs and delicious treats at bay. it's futile to resist. but i can moderate. my only "diet" rule this year is to stop eating before i get so stuffed i feel sick. moderation may be boring but it sure beats the stress of a restrictive diet.

be patient. be loving. especially to myself. one of my biggest regrets is how snappy and downright bitchy i could be to my dad if/when i felt like he was annoying me. especially since he was also so happy and loving to me. even when i was a bitchy annoying brat. he never got mad or raised his voice to us. and he spoiled all of us rotten with compliments and love. my dad was the type of guy who would give you the shirt off his back, even if he was cold. i can't even count how many times people have told me how much they will miss his smile and his jokes. i am certain that life wasn't always easy, but he never took it out on us.

it is very important to me to curb my impatience and bitchiness with the people i love. there's just no need for it. for the most part all the little things i get annoyed about are so not worth it. two small examples:

i am the kind of beeyotch who gets annoyed when my husband wants to come over to me and hug and kiss on me to tell me he loves me, if i'm in the middle of something. now if i'm really in the middle of something, i take a second and ask if nicely if we can canoodle later. if what i'm doing isn't really that important, like laundry or cooking or whatever, i bask in the glow of a wonderful affectionate husband. so now i only swat him away 10% of the time instead of 80% of the time. he loves it and he feels more loved.

i am also more aware to not nag him. if i want something done, and i can honestly truly get it done myself, i'll do it. if i need his help, i ask for it. and he is much more receptive to me asking for help than he is to me barking orders. i'm honestly not asking much more from him than i was before, it just makes things go smoother and happier when i frame it this way. and i heap lots of praise for even little things, because that's what he does for me.

another example, i get annoyed when my mom asks the same question over and over again. or if she needs help with things that i think she should know how to do. normally, i'd huff and puff and help her begrudgingly. but now i make sure she knows it's not annoying for her to ask questions and I take the time to show her how to do it herself, even if i have to show her multiple times. it doesn't take much more time to do it the nice way than it did the bitchy way, but it is much more pleasant for my mom and myself when i'm nice about it.

not treating the people i love like inconveniences to my busy and oh-so important life feels nice. and it honestly helps me to be more patient with myself. practicing patience on others helps me practice patience with myself when i think i'm not working fast enough or doing things right. it has cut out a lot of unnecessary frustration and guilt. which leaves me room for peace and happiness.

i do have more concrete goals in mind for this year, but thinking about them overwhelms me. for now, all i can handle is making sure we're spending far less than we make, putting in my best effort at work, building a strong and happy marriage, enjoying time with my family, and taking care of my mind and body to the best of my abilities.