privacy is not the same as secrecy

patrick and i were having a lovely date night on friday - tapas, cocktails, gelato. then he asked to know more about something in my past that i had mentioned to him while we were dating. i firmly said that i did not want to go into detail and that it was a very sensitive and private matter that did not affect our relationship so let it go. he pressed on. and i held steadfast. he said that i was keeping a secret which was akin to lying.

whoa, whoa, whoa...hold up.

in my mind, not the same thing.

i believe, more than he, that a person has a right to keep private whatever matters they deem appropriate, no matter if you're married or not. i think it's a basic human right. privacy is not the same as secrecy - this information truly does not affect him, it's more a matter of curiosity to him.

on a practical note, i still do not share any of my passwords with my husband. the man has access to every dime i have, yet i don't see why he would ever need to access my email or any other account of just mine, so i don't divulge my passwords. i'm not hiding anything, i just don't like the idea of someone, even my husband (especially my husband?) rifling through my shit.

on another note, he keeps asking if we can share a single facebook account, since he doesn't really want to maintain his. again, my answer was no. 90% of the people on my facebook are solely my friends. if my friends want to share something with me, it doesn't mean i want my husband in on it, regardless of whether i would just share it with him later or not. furthermore, i am my own person and want to feel free to express myself on there as freely as possible as ME.

ultimately it comes down to my belief that everyone has a right to keep a "diary" and have that "diary" be private regardless of whether you're married or work as a spy for the government. and whatever aspects of your life that you want to keep in your "diary" is up to you and it's on your moral code to differentiate between "hiding" something or "keeping" something. does that make sense?