sweating to the oldies

thankfully, we're not talking richard simmons. but close. remember those infomercials for 8 minute abs? yeah, i've got the whole series on dvd. abs, arms, legs, buns. and since i'm resting the calves, i dusted off these dvds for a 32 minute workout. not bad actually. for someone as out of shape as me and sg.



speaking of infomercials, does anyone have the P90X dvds? they look totally intense and totally worth it. any insight?

signs of wisdom??

you know how you usually injure yourself doing something totally stupid and lame and when you're hobbling around all gimpy and people ask you how you hurt yourself you wish you had a much more interesting, if not, heroic story to tell?

i've sidelined myself for a week because i can feel the tendon along the sides of my calves is not happy with me. it's a condition i'm very familiar with. and it has nothing to do with anything awesome or badass. but has everything to do with the fact that i'm a fat ass who touristed around d.c. for 4 days with insufficient arch support.

the weight i've gained over the last 6 months or so is no freaking joke. and something i really am taking into consideration as i train. i think of all the extra poundage i'm lugging around and i cringe thinking about the load my poor biomechanically retarded feet have to carry.

anyway, it's a little bit of an anticlimactic start. i'll spend this week doing mainly strength exercises for my upper body and core. but i think a dose of conservatism here is better than my usual dose of stubbornness. see, i did learn something!

signs of buffness?

yesterday, i took the boy on a 3.5 mile loop around the neighborhood. we "power-walked"most of it with short spurts of running. he bitched practically the whole way, but we got through it in about 50 minutes.

today was day 4 of level 1 on the shred and already it's getting easier. i can tell. sg is doing less whining and more working! yay for us.

tomorrow will be a sort of easy day, i think. a leisurely walk followed by some totally old school 8 minute abs and arms. or maybe some easy-ish yoga.

come saturday, it'll be all about endurance. i wonder if i can even eke out a 3 mile long run?

and we're back

so yeah, i had a brief moment of "what the hell do you think you're doing?" in regards to the marathon. then just as quickly as it came, it went away.

so yeah. marathon. 30 weeks.

i'm going with hal higdon's 18 week novice program and started this week with his 12 week spring training. it's an interesting thing going at this the second time around. in my head i know i can do it. no fear there. but i know just how much it can suck. and just how hard it can be. but i also know where my weak points are and already have an arsenal of tricks up my sleeve to correct those.

plus this time around, i won't be waiting tables! that's a huge relief for my feet and lower body. although to some degree i'm sure that all the walking i did waitressing probably did some good, especially on those training days i skipped. but in the end, i think it's best that i reserve the time on my feet for serious actual training.

i'm excited, guys! like really really excited!

on another note, sg and i just came back from dc where he took the preliminary test for the capitol police. they said that on average about 70 people show up for the test. this time, there were over 300! and they hold 3 a month! so the candidate pool is much larger than normal. we will know in 2 weeks or so if he passed and from there we go to step 2.

they also gave us what he would be tested on physically and how to gauge his current level of fitness with what they of expect their top candidates. let's just say we have a lot of work to do. but it's totally doable. and now that we know exactly what he needs to do, we can totally train for it.

i'm training him for a 5k in about 8 weeks. 3 days of running and 2 days of jillian's shred. i think we'll work in one day of speed training because he has to get his 1.5 mile time down to AT LEAST 13:50. and he'll totally have to get on board with the 100 pushups challenge. from what my friend who is on the force has told me, they love running and pushups!

my boyfriend is gonna be so buff!

squeeeeeee!!!

i'm in!

i'm in!

I'M IN!!!!!

while i haven't gotten official notice exactly, nothing is more official than the exchange of funds, and the nike people have extracted $120 from my bank account, so....

i'm running, bitches! WOOT!

day 3 of shred

when does it get start getting easy? and when will my back fat go away?

*sigh*

ps. wii fit loves me. down a net .8 lbs again :)

run, fat boy, run

when this movie came out, i HAD to see it. watching it again on dvd reignited my love for the marathon. it strikes the perfect balance between the lunacy of running 26.2 miles and the power of the human spirit. marathoners can be a pretty serious, self-important bunch, wrapped up in all kinds of technical nonsense. i just love watching normal people transform and push themselves to do things they never thought possible. i watched spirit of the marathon the same summer. and while it is awesome to see what deena kastor's training is like, i don't really identify with her (except for her love of wine). she was obviously born to run. it's her job to run. the woman is a machine! and i mean that with lots of respect and admiration it's just that i am motivated by measly little people like me, who enjoy beer and have too many fat clothes in their closet who find enough gumption every day to eke out their mere mortal workouts.

by the end of the month i'll know if i've won the nike women's marathon lottery. i really really really hope i do. i think i want to run and finish this marathon more than i did two years ago. keep your fingers crossed, boys and girls. 'cause this fat girl wants to run!

i almost forgot

wii fit told me i lost .4 pounds this morning. and when i weighed myself tonight, i had lost .4 more pounds!

i know. i know.

don't weigh yourself so much.

the loss is nothing more than normal weight fluctuation throughout the day.

but at least i didn't fluctuate UP!

small victories people. small victories. with the scale going up as much as it has in the past year, i'll take ANY small victories.

double the workout

day 2 level 1 of the shred. this time with sg. i have to say he toughed it out pretty well. it certainly taxed him, and at one point when i was correcting his form on the lunge he nearly spat fire and bit my head off. later, when we took a short walk to cool down, he told me he doesn't want me to talk when we work out. he said he doesn't like that i have to be an expert at everything. yeesh!

so yeah, note to self, if you want to stay with sg long enough to make him your husband, let him suffer through his workouts in silence. i'm hoping that as things get easier for him, he'll start to enjoy our workouts. tomorrow i think i'll take it easy on him and go for a leisurely walk at the lagoon.

to add insult to injury, after our cooldown he went inside and i took off for a 2 mile run. the run i was supposed to do in the morning but was too sore to do. the 20 minutes shred got me so pumped i felt strong enough to get through a run. WOOT!

i'm definitely sore now. but will try to do some yoga in the morning. but i'm taking friday off. i think. this workout thing is getting addicting again!

workout for two

so not only did i rock the shred today, but i rocked the yoga too. i took sg out for a run/walk, hoping to do at least 2 miles, but then his back started acting up. i guess moving has been strenuous. so i decided we should try some yoga instead. he did pretty well in my opinion for someone who has never done yoga before. but he felt pretty defeated. poor guy. it didn't help that when we weighed ourselves on the wii fit, it told him he gained weight. that wii fit can be pretty brutal. the good news is, i didn't lose or gain. this is a HUGE victory for me because besides the last 2 or 3 days, i haven't even really been trying.

i don't consider myself in very good shape at all, but even so what i think is easy isn't so easy for sg. and i'm afraid that he won't be in good enough shape to at least start physical training and not want to cry. he's gonna have to get used to feeling uncomfortable and sometimes really struggling to see some gains. it's never been easy to get back on the wagon for me, but i am a masochist and sort of enjoy that sweat and pain. for him, not so much. i try my very very best not to give him too much lip when he whines. because what i think he needs right now is encouragement. but it's hard. wish us luck. this isn't going to be easy.

waking up with jillian

like the rest of the world, i've adopted jillian michaels as my personal trainer. day one of her 30 day shred was pretty good. doable, but definitely lots of room for improvement. and she isn't all annoying and fake perky. she's tough. and motivating.

though i felt a little self conscious doing jumping jacks while the rest of the house slept. seriously, the whole house shook. *sigh* i guess if i keep it up, i won't have to worry about feeling like an elephant tromping around anymore.

the big move

so, the boyfriend is all moved in.

it's just me and him. and my mom and my dad. in a 4 bedroom, 2 bathroom 2,000+ square foot house. surprisingly, it's not so bad. though time will tell. at the very least it is saving us TONS of money and saving me from having to drive 90 miles round trip every week to see him.

right now, we're in a pretty good spot. if sg passes the preliminary capitol police test in 2 weeks, he'll face an interview, background check, and polygraph. and if that goes well, he goes to georgia and then to maryland for a total of 7 months for training. the good news is, training is paid. so we'll be able to bank 7 months of his salary while having minimal living expenses. this job could very well launch us firmly and comfortably into the next step.

so dealing with the "full house" situation for now, is very doable, because we know the next step is going to be HUGE.

in that same vein, i finally for the first time ever, got my budget set up on a spreadsheet. it turns out i have more money than i thought, and was spending like a fool before. i've been able to project into the future and figure out when i'll have a decent sized emergency fund and when all my debts will finally be paid.

so while sg is busting his ass in federal officer training, i'll be slaving away, chipping away at my debts so we can get married DEBT FREE! i hate that i'm the dead weight when it comes to this, but he's understanding is thankful that by living with my parents he is able to put even more money away in savings every month.

so we're pluggin' along. just like everyone else in america.

i might also have some good news at the end of the month.....

the truth about my job

i know i've been bitching and moaning about my job, but since the beginning of lent, i've done some re-evaluating.

my job? it ain't that bad. it's my attitude that has sucked.

i took this job just to tide me over until i found what i really wanted to do. and i found that those jobs were in scarce supply and that i needed additional training. it really hurt my ego to be making about what i made right out of college, since i've been working for 6 years and have since built up my salary. it really hurt my ego to be doing "grunt work" again, stuff that barely taxed my brain. stuff that is sooo beneath me.

i felt like my job wasn't good enough. therefore, i wasn't good enough. i avoided telling people what i did and where i worked because i knew i was capable of so much more. and well, i felt people expected more from me. and i held onto those feelings for a long time.

until i realized, it doesn't really matter. my family doesn't care about what i do. and my boyfriend loves me no matter what.

my job pays my bills, and gives me a little extra to save and spend. the people i work for appreciate the work i do and praise me often. my hours have been cut to 32, but even so, the money is enough and i get three day weekends with the people i love. i can wear jeans and a sweatshirt everyday if i want. my commute is 3 miles, so i can go home for lunch. it's sometimes a little stressful, but it's the kind of stress that doesn't follow you home. and every once in awhile i get a good, fun project to sink my teeth into.

seriously, who can complain with that?

for now, it will do. and for now, it's what i need. bigger and better are on the horizon, but for now, i'm thankful for what i have. and that attitude change makes a huge difference in my overall happiness.

wii fit is my friend

it said i lost 4 pounds.

i love you, wii fit.

writing stuff down

as i said yesterday, i started a food journal. and boy is it working. i eat less. i eat better. and i'm less hungry. all because i'm more mindful of what i eat, when i eat it, and how. i'm not worrying too much about calories and such, but i'm taking the time to choose and plan healthier options than hastily choosing what's fast and good. i've stopped eating after 6 and it's easier than i thought. i'm making a conscious effort to eat slowly and chew my food instead of inhale it. fancy that! no seriously, i am like the queen of inhaling food. i take like 3 bites, swallow, then continue to scarf. it's no wonder i overeat.

i also find i'm not eating just because i'm bored. or upset. or emotional. knowing you are going to have to write down everything you eat really makes you stop and think twice. because i'm also the queen of indulgence. i found a reason to indulge myself in a treat probably everyday. "i'm stressed." or "i'll workout later." (only to take a nap) or "i'll start my diet next week. i should get in all my treats now while i can." knowing i'll have to write my food down makes me stop, think, and realize i'm turning to food for comfort. and in that second my brain goes through a list of other things i could do to cope. last night, i kept a food binge at bay by watching videos of my nephew.

i know, it's only 2 days. but i'm already seeing the benefits. plus i got a cute, red pocket moleskine calendar to write everything down in. i am a geek for notebooks and theirs are by far the best ever.

i'm hoping it will also have enough room for me to keep track of my daily spending. if you have any good tips on budgeting software or techniques, please send them my way.

today i:

1. woke up later than i wanted but still had time to eat breakfast in peace, curl my hair, and rock a purple eyeshadow look.
2. found out i didn't get the job i interviewed for on monday, but realized i didn't really want it anyway.
3. cut about an hour off a project at work by coming up with an ingenious shortcut!
4. resisted the urge to nap by doing yoga and felt 10x more invigorated!
   
5. took a candlelit shower.
6. was reminded for the millionth time that my boyfriend is the best.
7. finally figured out how to purl!!!!!!

happy humpday

today i:

1. finally learned the purl stitch!
2. set it up so $100 more gets put towards my last credit card every month.
   
3. set it up so more $ gets puts towards my savings every month.
4. made some awesome mac n cheese with tuna.
5. started my food journal.
6. spent 25 minutes on my wii fit. stupid pushups and side planks.
7. got mucho praise at work today.
8. made my bed :)
9. scored tickets to tomorrow night's king's game featuring the jabbawokeez at half time!
10. got to bust out a new eyeshadow palette!

Episode 5 - JabbaWockeez in America's Best Dance Crew - Funny video clips are a click away

paying attention

every year, i look forward to lent. crazy, i know. it's like spring-cleaning for the soul. and by the time easter comes, the days are longer, the weather is nicer, and it really is a time for rejoicing no matter what you believe in.

lately, i've been thinking about why i've been feeling so stuck. it strikes me as odd that i am so happy and so in love yet so dissatisfied with a lot of other things in life. like my job. like my weight. like my lack of motivation to really fix those things.

there's a lot i could go into regarding the why and i honestly won't bore you. simply put it comes down to this: i need to stop worrying about what i can't control.

so my lenten promise is to take better care of myself.

be more mindful of what i feed my body. be more mindful of how i treat my body. be more mindful of how i spend my time. be more mindful of what i watch, what i say, and what i do.

be more deliberate, and less rushed. less frenetic. more purposeful.

be more mindful of how i spend my money. be grateful for what i have by taking better care of my things and sharing what i have in excess.

wake up earlier so the first hour of my day is just for me. and spend a few minutes every night listing all the things that made me happy.

countdown to valentine's day

just so you know, i've always loved valentine's day. even when i was single. it goes back to the days in elementary school where we made cutesy mailboxes to put on our desk and went around dropping cutesy little cards into each one. for me, that holiday craft was so much more fun than making turkeys by tracing your hand.

anyway, sg has a romantic weekend planned. we're going here.and staying in the moon hot tub suite. i know, my life is so hard. there will be dinner and a live band and dancing. and even though it's forecasted to rain the entire weekend, i'm sure we will still make good use of the hot tub on the balcony overlooking the lake.

i. love. my. boyfriend.

we're moving in together

but it's not what you think.

sg is moving in with me...

and my parents.

yeah, i know. crazy.

we ran the numbers and it just made the most sense. why drive an hour every week to see him? why pay upwards of $1200 for an apartment while he's out of work for god knows how long? we're hoping to not have to touch the severance bonus they gave him and pocket it for a rainy day (or maybe some shiny bling for our engagement). we will even be able to actually save some of the money he gets from unemployment and i won't have to work the weekends schlepping bloomin' onions.

but yeah, i know. crazy.

my parents were surprisingly sympathetic and open. and while i'm not so naive as to think this is just gonna be peachy, i think it's still for the best and i'm grateful my parents are so generous. if all 4 of us can get through this situation, then we really were meant to be family.

seven months and counting

sg and i celebrate another month together. seven in total. i know you all think i'm crazy keeping track of months when you all have decades under your belt, but being in love with "the one" has been the most amazing thing to happen to me. it boggles my mind how i can love him more everyday. and i'm amazed at how the simplest things make me feel so happy and so complete.

this month, though, i think he and i became, "we". it has been our most stressful month but instead of being at odds, it brought us together. and i feel like we crossed yet another huge milestone in our lives together. we were on our way to my cousin's birthday party and he was driving and we were just talking and holding hands and i just looked at him and thought "wow, this is my forever." it felt so natural and wonderful for him to be part of my family and there was no where else i wanted to be in that moment than right next to him. and i've been getting that feeling a lot lately.

once i realized i could leave my family to start a new life with him, i feel like we seamlessly flowed from his and hers to ours. with his layoff, sg and i now start talking about starting "our lives" and "our future", with "our money". and i don't flinch. being a part of 'us' is more important to me than just being me. and i finally feel like i'm not necesarily losing 'me' in the process. i am now just part of something bigger. and honestly, i couldn't feel more proud.

next month, sg and i are headed to dc where he will take the preliminary test for employment to the capitol police. i have a friend who works on the force and is now one of nancy pelosi's bodyguards and can most likely push his process through much faster than the normal 6 to 12 month time frame. which is a good and bad thing. good, because he'll be working sooner. bad, because it means i have less time here.

i'm concerned about whether or not this is necesarily the right fit for him. luckily, i don't have to worry about his safety because it is the safest law enforcement job ever. apparently, guarding the capitol and members of congress isn't all that risky. thankfully. he doesn't think he'll get anywhere with his degree and his experience, considering the economic situation. and he thinks this will be a great opportunity to get in with the federal government. for him, working is all about money and security. for me, the starving artist, it's about living up to my creative potential. they pay pretty well and of course are very secure and it will give me the freedom to pursue what i want without necesarily worrying about being the breadwinner. we're hoping that this training could lead to many different opportunities and the upside is that law enforcement is needed everywhere so a move back to california is very much possible in time.

and hello! being married to a man in uniform!? yum!

but we'll see what happens. we have some other leads but nothing concrete yet. so we're still plugging away like the rest of you.

in other news, i picked up a weekend waitressing gig. again. it seems i can never hang up my apron. to be honest, i do enjoy it. and the extra money will definitely be nice. let's hope it's like riding a bike. it's been a year.

other than that, not much else. i've been burning calories by worrying and not sleeping. i picked up jillian michael's 30 day shred the other day and am going to try it tomorrow morning. i hear it's killer. hopefully it'll help me get down a size before my return to dc.