i've waited tables for about 10 years, off and on. but it was only a couple days a week. for extra beer money. but this is the first time i've had to rely on it as my primary income. which means i'm on my feet 8+ hours a day, 5 days a week. i know people do it all the time, everyday. and i thought i was in pretty good shape. but let me tell you, it's kicking my ass.
or more specifically, the 300+ elderly women's choir group that came through the hotel this weekend kicked my ass. for people as frail and slow as they are, they were goddamned demanding and wanted everything NOW! add to my list of reasons i'm going hell: my annoyance with and desire to bitch-slap demanding elderly ladies. i swear to bob last night i had nightmares about them.
as i stated in a previous post, coming up with and following a training program around my new 6am-2pm work schedule is a challenge. i like running in the morning, but getting up at 4 am to run sounds ludicrous to me. but then again, at one point, getting up at 5:30 am to run sounded ludicrous. but getting up at 4 am means going to bed at like 8pm!
and yes, i do need 8 hours of sleep. 7 minumum.
and i'm finding the problem isn't so much the scheduling as it is that waitressing is seriously wiping me out. today was my day off and i got up at 7. after eating breakfast, reading blogs, going through some mail, i was still tired. so i went back to bed and didn't get up until about 1! and it wasn't until then that i didn't feel the achiness in my bones. oh and i went to bed at like 9 last night!
part of me knows my body will get used to it. and part of me knows that we won't always have annoying groups of octogenarians demanding 1001 things of me at once. but for now, i'm just a little old lady myself.
after missing santa cruz, i didn't know what i was gonna do about training. i was coming off an injury and dealing with a new work situation. i cut myself some slack, but i knew in order to get any running done i had to have a plan. and a plan is what i have.
my next race will be the sonoma jack 10k on june 3. that's in 5 weeks. and looking at my 3 day a week training plan, very do-able. after the race, i'll take a week off, then start my 18 week marathon training (oh shit!) somewhere in between those 2 races, i plan on running a half-marathon, most likely the run sfm half.
i'm planning on doing my long runs on tuesdays (my sunday), doing one easy run and one speed workout during the week. all the extra stuff? the weight training, crosstraining? we'll just have to see how my body holds up. to some extent, my job IS crosstraining.
and how i'm going to fit in freelancing AND looking for a full-time job? i don't know. i really don't know. somehow, it will all get done. it always does.
Monday, April 30, 2007
Saturday, April 28, 2007
the runner in me
if you take a look at my running stats for the month of april, you'll see how absolutely pathetic they are. i've run less miles in the entire month of april than i did in a single week last month. and do you know what i have to say to that?
shit happens. there's always may. and june. and 6 more months before nike.
normally, i'd be upset. really upset. i'd feel like a total loser and cry buckets over my expanding waist line (which for some strange but awesome reason isn't really growing despite my hiatus).
but i'm not upset because i've taken care of a lot of other priorities this month that have tested my will, patience, and determination just as much as running has. and it's because of the lessons i've learned from running that helped me through it (aside from my cry-fest freakout)
because even when i'm not training by running, i'm always thinking about how my training applies to my entire life. i'm always thinking about what the runner in me would do. how the runner in me would handle these challenges. how the runner in me purposefully and willingly challenges myself to do things i thought were physically impossible, only to make me stronger. more accomplished. i think about how the runner in me knows when too much is too much and takes the time to nurture my body and my mind.
running has taught me that bad shit happens, but is always followed by some good stuff. the bad stuff never defines who you are. but the success it's not forever either. running has humbled my crazy perfectionism yet it has motivated me to be better than i thought i could ever be. but in a different way than the greed for achievement used to.
somehow and in some strange way, running has taught me to be more honest with myself. about who i really am. about what i really want. about what's really important. about what really makes me happy.
i still wonder what this year has in store for me. and i vacillate between trepidation and excitement. i am sometimes absolutely clueless and feel the only thing i can do is open myself to divine intervention and other times i have the confidence and conviction to face whatever happens. to make shit happen.
because that's the runner in me.
-----------------------------
note: i know my posts have been pretty off-topic and downright angsty lately, but hey it's my blog :) i hope to return to normal ass-kicking training in may when i've gotten the work situations under control :)
and i did run 3.25 miles yesterday, but honestly had nothing exciting to report. except that i really really crave running more!
shit happens. there's always may. and june. and 6 more months before nike.
normally, i'd be upset. really upset. i'd feel like a total loser and cry buckets over my expanding waist line (which for some strange but awesome reason isn't really growing despite my hiatus).
but i'm not upset because i've taken care of a lot of other priorities this month that have tested my will, patience, and determination just as much as running has. and it's because of the lessons i've learned from running that helped me through it (aside from my cry-fest freakout)
because even when i'm not training by running, i'm always thinking about how my training applies to my entire life. i'm always thinking about what the runner in me would do. how the runner in me would handle these challenges. how the runner in me purposefully and willingly challenges myself to do things i thought were physically impossible, only to make me stronger. more accomplished. i think about how the runner in me knows when too much is too much and takes the time to nurture my body and my mind.
running has taught me that bad shit happens, but is always followed by some good stuff. the bad stuff never defines who you are. but the success it's not forever either. running has humbled my crazy perfectionism yet it has motivated me to be better than i thought i could ever be. but in a different way than the greed for achievement used to.
somehow and in some strange way, running has taught me to be more honest with myself. about who i really am. about what i really want. about what's really important. about what really makes me happy.
i still wonder what this year has in store for me. and i vacillate between trepidation and excitement. i am sometimes absolutely clueless and feel the only thing i can do is open myself to divine intervention and other times i have the confidence and conviction to face whatever happens. to make shit happen.
because that's the runner in me.
-----------------------------
note: i know my posts have been pretty off-topic and downright angsty lately, but hey it's my blog :) i hope to return to normal ass-kicking training in may when i've gotten the work situations under control :)
and i did run 3.25 miles yesterday, but honestly had nothing exciting to report. except that i really really crave running more!
Thursday, April 26, 2007
um, this isn't mine
i got to my car after work today and when i pulled on the handle to my car door, a very small ziptop baggie full of fine powdery "white stuff" fell into my palm.
uh......
wtf?! how did THAT get there?
was it a "sample"? did someone need to stash it somewhere quickly?
of course the total nerd i am, i totally freaked out, chucked it deep into a trashcan, not wanting anything to do with it. it even freaks me out that my fingerprints are on it.
but seriously, wtf?!
uh......
wtf?! how did THAT get there?
was it a "sample"? did someone need to stash it somewhere quickly?
of course the total nerd i am, i totally freaked out, chucked it deep into a trashcan, not wanting anything to do with it. it even freaks me out that my fingerprints are on it.
but seriously, wtf?!
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
yum!
people magazine sure got it right. most beautiful, indeed.
i know, i know. i've brought up eric bana more than once on this blog. but c'mon! that is supreme hotness right there!
*sigh* perhaps it has been too long since i've been on a date ;) but if there were more men like him walking around then i wouldn't have that problem.
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
on the road, again
i FINALLY got my ass in gear and did some running! wahoo! it had been exactly 2 weeks and i swear i had to dust cobwebs off my running shoes.
i got in an easy 3 miles in under 37 minutes, running anywhere from 4.5 mph to 6.5 mph. there was a chick on the treadmill next to me with waaaaay longer legs than me running at 5.8 mph but i swear my legs were moving much faster than hers. totally not fair.
and whatever injury i had seems to be gone. i felt a little rickety in my quads and knees when i started, but after a mile it was gone. i definitely had legs for a longer run, but alas, i didn't have the time. but it's good to know my legs haven't forgotten how to run. makes me wonder how i would have done had i run the race on sunday!
for now, the trick will be finding a good time to run with my new 6am-2pm work schedule. while i much prefer to run in the morning, i don't see myself getting up at 4 am to run before work. and while running after 8 hours on my feet doesn't sound appealing either, it sounds like the lesser of two evils.
i should be able to fit in one run in the next two days and will attempt a long run on friday, my day off. maybe 10 miles?
i got in an easy 3 miles in under 37 minutes, running anywhere from 4.5 mph to 6.5 mph. there was a chick on the treadmill next to me with waaaaay longer legs than me running at 5.8 mph but i swear my legs were moving much faster than hers. totally not fair.
and whatever injury i had seems to be gone. i felt a little rickety in my quads and knees when i started, but after a mile it was gone. i definitely had legs for a longer run, but alas, i didn't have the time. but it's good to know my legs haven't forgotten how to run. makes me wonder how i would have done had i run the race on sunday!
for now, the trick will be finding a good time to run with my new 6am-2pm work schedule. while i much prefer to run in the morning, i don't see myself getting up at 4 am to run before work. and while running after 8 hours on my feet doesn't sound appealing either, it sounds like the lesser of two evils.
i should be able to fit in one run in the next two days and will attempt a long run on friday, my day off. maybe 10 miles?
Sunday, April 22, 2007
reliving saturday night
punch
this morning, instead of running, i put a sweatshirt on over last night's clothes, my index finger still bright red from the cherry jello shots and the bottom of my right foot still in pain from stepping on a hot coal from a hookah mishap. my brother and i headed to sandy's omelettes and i had 1 pancake, a biscuit, hashbrowns, and a hawaiian omelette with mushroms, green onions, pineapple, spam and fried rice! after that, we crashed on the couch for about 3 hours.
now i'm flipping channels on our new 52" HDtv. i never realized how much of a difference HD makes! holy crap!!!! it's like the difference between having your glasses off and then putting them on! i think i need to drop by blockbuster and pick up the movie troy. brad pitt, orlando bloom AND eric bana ALL in high def??!?!
short of having them in person in my living room, i can't think of a better way to recover from a crazy saturday night :)
i've had a lot to drink. really. i love you guys. seriously. i do.
hapy ithday to jess and happy earth day to the planet.
tomorrow i'm going to a place where they serve 101 omlettes. that;s all i know for now.
this morning, instead of running, i put a sweatshirt on over last night's clothes, my index finger still bright red from the cherry jello shots and the bottom of my right foot still in pain from stepping on a hot coal from a hookah mishap. my brother and i headed to sandy's omelettes and i had 1 pancake, a biscuit, hashbrowns, and a hawaiian omelette with mushroms, green onions, pineapple, spam and fried rice! after that, we crashed on the couch for about 3 hours.
now i'm flipping channels on our new 52" HDtv. i never realized how much of a difference HD makes! holy crap!!!! it's like the difference between having your glasses off and then putting them on! i think i need to drop by blockbuster and pick up the movie troy. brad pitt, orlando bloom AND eric bana ALL in high def??!?!
short of having them in person in my living room, i can't think of a better way to recover from a crazy saturday night :)
Friday, April 20, 2007
and this makes 100
i've already listed 69, so here's the 31 OTHER things i've promisted to round out a full 100 things about me:
70. i'm right handed, but i bat and golf left handed.
71. i don't drink coffee or soda.
72. i once tried to be a vegetarian. i lasted 2 weeks.
73. i cracked when i smelled steak on the grill.
74. i've fired the canon at fort ord under the golden gate bridge.
75. i love accents, especially boston accents and african accents.
76. if i were a teenage mutant ninja turtle, i'd be michaelangelo.
77. i once stole bikini bottoms from old navy.
78. it was an accident. i forgot to take them off before putting my shorts on and i just walked out of the store. and was too embarrassed to go back and return them.
79. i was hugely dissapointed when i saw plymouth rock. and the liberty bell.
80. i bite my nails.
81. no matter how much i want to stop, i can't. it's a nervous habit.
82. i like drinking hot water with lemon.
83. i hate anything raspberry flavored.
84. i've dented my car twice in 4 years on parking garage pillars.
85. i love getting dressed up to go out.
86. i love having my hair washed, complete with scalp massage.
87. some day i will have a manservant to do that for me every morning.
88. and he will look like taye diggs.
89. and sing sweet sweet love songs like jack johnson.
90. i have a pair of lucky underwear.
91. i hate cats. i'm highly allergic.
92. i get lost really really really easily.
93. i'm a very visual person. i need to write things down, draw a picture, face what i'm listening to in order to understand.
94. i have to wear earrings everyday or i feel naked.
95. i've never ever once laughed out loud to seinfeld. honestly, i don't think he's funny.
96. i hate cleaning.
97. but i LOVE to organize.
98. i love the smell of scotch tape, post-it notes, and new computers.
99. i've won many limbo contests.
100. april 22 is my "official" one year running anniversary!
70. i'm right handed, but i bat and golf left handed.
71. i don't drink coffee or soda.
72. i once tried to be a vegetarian. i lasted 2 weeks.
73. i cracked when i smelled steak on the grill.
74. i've fired the canon at fort ord under the golden gate bridge.
75. i love accents, especially boston accents and african accents.
76. if i were a teenage mutant ninja turtle, i'd be michaelangelo.
77. i once stole bikini bottoms from old navy.
78. it was an accident. i forgot to take them off before putting my shorts on and i just walked out of the store. and was too embarrassed to go back and return them.
79. i was hugely dissapointed when i saw plymouth rock. and the liberty bell.
80. i bite my nails.
81. no matter how much i want to stop, i can't. it's a nervous habit.
82. i like drinking hot water with lemon.
83. i hate anything raspberry flavored.
84. i've dented my car twice in 4 years on parking garage pillars.
85. i love getting dressed up to go out.
86. i love having my hair washed, complete with scalp massage.
87. some day i will have a manservant to do that for me every morning.
88. and he will look like taye diggs.
89. and sing sweet sweet love songs like jack johnson.
90. i have a pair of lucky underwear.
91. i hate cats. i'm highly allergic.
92. i get lost really really really easily.
93. i'm a very visual person. i need to write things down, draw a picture, face what i'm listening to in order to understand.
94. i have to wear earrings everyday or i feel naked.
95. i've never ever once laughed out loud to seinfeld. honestly, i don't think he's funny.
96. i hate cleaning.
97. but i LOVE to organize.
98. i love the smell of scotch tape, post-it notes, and new computers.
99. i've won many limbo contests.
100. april 22 is my "official" one year running anniversary!
brand new day
in the last 36 hours, i've:
1. had a good, big , long sobfest. the wailing, snot-running, can barely breathe kind.
2. got a call from my best friend where i got to cry to her for a good long while.
3. ate a sourdough bacon cheeseburger, fries, and andes mint shake from jack-in-the-box.
4. impressed my new client with my design prowess.
5. bought my new macbook pro (it's soooooo sexy!)
6. rearranged my restaurant schedule so i could have the morning off to prepare for my interview today.
7. slept 12 hours continuously.
i admit i freaked out more than i should have at the beginning of the week, but hey, it's what i do. and working 9 hours on my feet, looking for a new job, while trying to figure out this brand new endeavor of being a self-employed designer is all some hard sh!t.
it's been such a strange experience moving back home without a job. to the point where sometimes i really wonder whether it was a good idea to have moved without one. but then i would have had to face a whole set of other obstacles had i stayed in dc. and in my heart i know they even out.
plus i have the benefit of finally being a part of my family again. on the way home from my client meeting, i stopped by my brother's house to have dinner and visit with my nephew. the lil kid perked my spirits instantly and as i left he bawled and bawled, unhappy to see his favorite (and only) auntie leave. i wouldn't have THAT if i was still in d.c.
i hope to reunite with my running on sunday morning. taking mucinex has helped the congestion problem and i'm hoping i'll feel good enough to log at least 1 mile on the treadmill. i might have to scrap my planned races and sign up for what i can at the last minute, depending on how my work/interviewing schedule goes. in a few weeks, i'll start marathon training! and if that's the only race i run this year, i think i'll be perfectly happy!!
1. had a good, big , long sobfest. the wailing, snot-running, can barely breathe kind.
2. got a call from my best friend where i got to cry to her for a good long while.
3. ate a sourdough bacon cheeseburger, fries, and andes mint shake from jack-in-the-box.
4. impressed my new client with my design prowess.
5. bought my new macbook pro (it's soooooo sexy!)
6. rearranged my restaurant schedule so i could have the morning off to prepare for my interview today.
7. slept 12 hours continuously.
i admit i freaked out more than i should have at the beginning of the week, but hey, it's what i do. and working 9 hours on my feet, looking for a new job, while trying to figure out this brand new endeavor of being a self-employed designer is all some hard sh!t.
it's been such a strange experience moving back home without a job. to the point where sometimes i really wonder whether it was a good idea to have moved without one. but then i would have had to face a whole set of other obstacles had i stayed in dc. and in my heart i know they even out.
plus i have the benefit of finally being a part of my family again. on the way home from my client meeting, i stopped by my brother's house to have dinner and visit with my nephew. the lil kid perked my spirits instantly and as i left he bawled and bawled, unhappy to see his favorite (and only) auntie leave. i wouldn't have THAT if i was still in d.c.
i hope to reunite with my running on sunday morning. taking mucinex has helped the congestion problem and i'm hoping i'll feel good enough to log at least 1 mile on the treadmill. i might have to scrap my planned races and sign up for what i can at the last minute, depending on how my work/interviewing schedule goes. in a few weeks, i'll start marathon training! and if that's the only race i run this year, i think i'll be perfectly happy!!
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
**deep breaths**
i want to thank everyone for their support! it makes me feel less crazy to know others deal with flack from their loved ones as well. and it makes me that much more grateful for the blogger comraderie and community. we can all be crazy together! wheeeeeeee!
that being said, i am opting out of santa cruz this weekend. for a TON of reasons. the congestion in my head is moving south. i haven't been able to test out my legs. i've been working NON-STOP the whole week and i don't see any break until after my tuesday deadline. i've slept about 4 hours each night and predict i'll keep this schedule until at least saturday. i've been so wracked with panic and sleep deprived, i think i'm running on adrenaline instead of calories because i know i haven't been able to eat.
but even though i won't be chugging along the coast this weekend, don't forget to cheer on rose. she's gonna kick enough @ss for both of us anyway :)
once i meet my deadline, i'll have a second to sleep, regroup and resolve to NEVER, EVER, EVER again bite off more than i can chew. i have this habit of freaking out when i start something causing me to go into overdrive and do everything possible so as to do it perfectly, and then sometimes it's just too much all at once and i'm up sh!t creek. whoever said "live and learn" forgot that very important middle part.
that being said, i am opting out of santa cruz this weekend. for a TON of reasons. the congestion in my head is moving south. i haven't been able to test out my legs. i've been working NON-STOP the whole week and i don't see any break until after my tuesday deadline. i've slept about 4 hours each night and predict i'll keep this schedule until at least saturday. i've been so wracked with panic and sleep deprived, i think i'm running on adrenaline instead of calories because i know i haven't been able to eat.
but even though i won't be chugging along the coast this weekend, don't forget to cheer on rose. she's gonna kick enough @ss for both of us anyway :)
once i meet my deadline, i'll have a second to sleep, regroup and resolve to NEVER, EVER, EVER again bite off more than i can chew. i have this habit of freaking out when i start something causing me to go into overdrive and do everything possible so as to do it perfectly, and then sometimes it's just too much all at once and i'm up sh!t creek. whoever said "live and learn" forgot that very important middle part.
Monday, April 16, 2007
when will she understand?
mom: it's supposed to rain on sunday.
me: i know. i'll have to run in it.
mom: well don't push it, you don't want to get sick. so how long will it take? an hour? i don't want to get home too late. and your brothers. they have to drive even further.
me: uh, no mom. it'll take me at least 2 and a half hours to run 13.1 miles. (thinking to myself, you mean i have to speed things up just to accommodate other people's schedules, when the reason we're in santa cruz in the FIRST place is so I can run MY race?)
mom: that long?!?! well don't push it. i mean if you can't finish it, then you can't finish it.
me: (seething under my breath) mom. i. can. finish. it.
problem is, my leg/hip/groin isn't 100%. so i don't know if i have what it takes to prove her wrong. i was fine about not finishing it BEFORE she said this comment. but now, i want to run and finish even if i have to cut my damned leg off. even though i know my mom loves me and is proud of me in many many ways, i almost think she just wants this "running thing" to blow up in my face. just because it's something she can't do. something she wouldn't even conceive of doing. an accomplishment that she is in a way jealous of my having. i think in this aspect, she relishes any sign of my weakness. i hate to say that about her. but i honestly, that's how i feel.
just another reason i am going to burn in hell...thinking ill thoughts of one's perfectly wonderful mother.
me: i know. i'll have to run in it.
mom: well don't push it, you don't want to get sick. so how long will it take? an hour? i don't want to get home too late. and your brothers. they have to drive even further.
me: uh, no mom. it'll take me at least 2 and a half hours to run 13.1 miles. (thinking to myself, you mean i have to speed things up just to accommodate other people's schedules, when the reason we're in santa cruz in the FIRST place is so I can run MY race?)
mom: that long?!?! well don't push it. i mean if you can't finish it, then you can't finish it.
me: (seething under my breath) mom. i. can. finish. it.
problem is, my leg/hip/groin isn't 100%. so i don't know if i have what it takes to prove her wrong. i was fine about not finishing it BEFORE she said this comment. but now, i want to run and finish even if i have to cut my damned leg off. even though i know my mom loves me and is proud of me in many many ways, i almost think she just wants this "running thing" to blow up in my face. just because it's something she can't do. something she wouldn't even conceive of doing. an accomplishment that she is in a way jealous of my having. i think in this aspect, she relishes any sign of my weakness. i hate to say that about her. but i honestly, that's how i feel.
just another reason i am going to burn in hell...thinking ill thoughts of one's perfectly wonderful mother.
ack!
suddenly, everything seems to be getting out of control around here.
freelancing is a relatively new situation for me, and just as i suspected, it's already getting complicated. i took on a project for a firm in sac, and so far it seems to be under control. except that i have a deadline right after my half. my old firm in dc has a rush project that needs to get taken care of by the end of the week.
and all those creative staffing agencies i've shown my portfolio to? they all say they have jobs for me, but they're all temporary positions. i'm contemplating whether that's something i want to commit to because it could just put me back in the same position i am in now, while a permanent position i DO want may be out of my grasp because of the time i've committed to the temporary one.
in the meantime, because i was afraid i might not be making steady money, i've picked up a waitressing gig and i'm scheduled every day until saturday. i have an interview this friday after work, when all i'll really want to be doing is relaxing and packing for the weekend. not driving an hour, then putting on my most intelligent and eager face to talk about my stellar design skills.
i haven't run all last week and while i've gotten over the paranoia that my legs will have forgotten how to run, i wanted a few days to test out my legs to see how they really feel and perform.
part of me knows i'm just being a spoiled brat who has forgotten what it feels like to have a real work schedule. but part of me also knows it's just nerve wracking to have absolutely no constants in my life right now because of my work situation. some people love this kind of freedom and flexibility, but i abhor it. give me routine and comfort, please. i don't like not knowing what things will be like next month. wondering whether i'll have the time or money to plan the vacation i want to. or plan anything in advance, even races. i don't like not knowing how much i will be earning, even if it means i could be cashing in on a lot of work this month. i want to be able to plan. and focus.
i know that eventually things will settle down and something will come of the madness. i just wish the madness didn't coincide with the week before a big race.
--------addendum
i just went to get a haircut, thinking the pampering would do me some good. instead, i sat tin the chair for an hour while my childhood hairstylist talked endlessly (and annoyingly) about gossip and the endless drama in her life and i walked away with a craptastic cut.
*sigh*
i was trying to grow out my hair, then resolved to just do something different. but after this cut, i may have to whack it all off again and start all over. which just may be the excuse i wanted to go back to my original short style.
freelancing is a relatively new situation for me, and just as i suspected, it's already getting complicated. i took on a project for a firm in sac, and so far it seems to be under control. except that i have a deadline right after my half. my old firm in dc has a rush project that needs to get taken care of by the end of the week.
and all those creative staffing agencies i've shown my portfolio to? they all say they have jobs for me, but they're all temporary positions. i'm contemplating whether that's something i want to commit to because it could just put me back in the same position i am in now, while a permanent position i DO want may be out of my grasp because of the time i've committed to the temporary one.
in the meantime, because i was afraid i might not be making steady money, i've picked up a waitressing gig and i'm scheduled every day until saturday. i have an interview this friday after work, when all i'll really want to be doing is relaxing and packing for the weekend. not driving an hour, then putting on my most intelligent and eager face to talk about my stellar design skills.
i haven't run all last week and while i've gotten over the paranoia that my legs will have forgotten how to run, i wanted a few days to test out my legs to see how they really feel and perform.
part of me knows i'm just being a spoiled brat who has forgotten what it feels like to have a real work schedule. but part of me also knows it's just nerve wracking to have absolutely no constants in my life right now because of my work situation. some people love this kind of freedom and flexibility, but i abhor it. give me routine and comfort, please. i don't like not knowing what things will be like next month. wondering whether i'll have the time or money to plan the vacation i want to. or plan anything in advance, even races. i don't like not knowing how much i will be earning, even if it means i could be cashing in on a lot of work this month. i want to be able to plan. and focus.
i know that eventually things will settle down and something will come of the madness. i just wish the madness didn't coincide with the week before a big race.
--------addendum
i just went to get a haircut, thinking the pampering would do me some good. instead, i sat tin the chair for an hour while my childhood hairstylist talked endlessly (and annoyingly) about gossip and the endless drama in her life and i walked away with a craptastic cut.
*sigh*
i was trying to grow out my hair, then resolved to just do something different. but after this cut, i may have to whack it all off again and start all over. which just may be the excuse i wanted to go back to my original short style.
Sunday, April 15, 2007
procrastination
ticketmaster treated me to 4 free downloads on itunes for buying concert tickets yesterday. yippee! after spending way too much time on itunes, i ended up with:
1. over it (katherine mcphee)
not really a fan of her, but i can't help but really like that song.
2. maniac (michael sembello)
i roared with laughter at the thought of me cruising through the race to that song. maybe i should wear leg warmers?
3. wanna love you girl (robin thicke)
love him, though can't get over how much he looks like his dad jason seaver to think he's hot..
4. move something (ll cool j)
'nuff said.
i also managed to "find" and "secure" an mp3 of kelly clarkson's new song, never again. i can't WAIT til her new album comes out!!!!!!
so i meant to run yesterday...or at least test out my legs. but i ws having nano issues...which required a trip to the apple store, blah blah....maybe i'll run tonight.
the trip to the apple store wasn't just for the ipod though, because i got to play with all the computers and finally decided on which mac book pro i want!!! i was gonna use my tax refund to go to greece this year, but my old laptop died and well hopefully greece will still be around for a long while. so...more money for steve jobs it is!
1. over it (katherine mcphee)
not really a fan of her, but i can't help but really like that song.
2. maniac (michael sembello)
i roared with laughter at the thought of me cruising through the race to that song. maybe i should wear leg warmers?
3. wanna love you girl (robin thicke)
love him, though can't get over how much he looks like his dad jason seaver to think he's hot..
4. move something (ll cool j)
'nuff said.
i also managed to "find" and "secure" an mp3 of kelly clarkson's new song, never again. i can't WAIT til her new album comes out!!!!!!
so i meant to run yesterday...or at least test out my legs. but i ws having nano issues...which required a trip to the apple store, blah blah....maybe i'll run tonight.
the trip to the apple store wasn't just for the ipod though, because i got to play with all the computers and finally decided on which mac book pro i want!!! i was gonna use my tax refund to go to greece this year, but my old laptop died and well hopefully greece will still be around for a long while. so...more money for steve jobs it is!
Saturday, April 14, 2007
no! no! no! no! no! no!
weather in santa cruz next sunday, according to weather.com:
i've raced in rain before, but only 5ks! i've run distances in rain before. lots of rain. but in the summer, when it was warm. cold rain??? YOU SUCK! time to start doing an anti-rain dance.
i've raced in rain before, but only 5ks! i've run distances in rain before. lots of rain. but in the summer, when it was warm. cold rain??? YOU SUCK! time to start doing an anti-rain dance.
Friday, April 13, 2007
baseball
i was on the sf giants' site checking out their schedule, specifically looking for when they play the nationals and the red sox. and wouldn't ya know it. the week they play dc at home is when i'll be back in dc for my annual girls beach trip.
i guess i'll have to settle for a catching a game against a team i don't really care too much about. in all honesty, i haven't followed giants baseball since i was in middle school. but that was before i was old enough to spend $500 on a small beer at the ballpark.
Thursday, April 12, 2007
on the DL
injury/illness-imposed rest is the worst kind. so i'm calling the next couple days of rest "a vacation" instead. sounds, better doesn't it? instantly takes me from "if my sinuses don't kill me, then my legs are gonna fall off" freak-out syndrome to "ahhhh, now i don't have to be a slave to the training schedule and i can actually take more time to do other things"
and if my "vacation" is forced to overlap with race day, so be it. sh!t happens. at least i'll be at the beach. there will be other races.
maybe this isn't the attitude of a comeptitive elite racer, but what can i do? i got sick. i got injured. both at the wrong time (not that there ever is a right time) but i know i can do the distance. besides it's too early to tell how i'll really feel come race day. so fingers crossed people.
but until then, i'm on siesta...
and if my "vacation" is forced to overlap with race day, so be it. sh!t happens. at least i'll be at the beach. there will be other races.
maybe this isn't the attitude of a comeptitive elite racer, but what can i do? i got sick. i got injured. both at the wrong time (not that there ever is a right time) but i know i can do the distance. besides it's too early to tell how i'll really feel come race day. so fingers crossed people.
but until then, i'm on siesta...
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
pain in my ...
even though i am now properly medicated and breathing and sleeping normally, i still didn't want to inundate my sinuses needlessly with pollen. so i ran on the treadmill today. a 7 mile easy run cut down to 5 for a variety of reasons: i just wanted to be done, my hour was up and there were people waiting, and that weird nagging groin/hip pain.
i am really bad when it comes to injury because 1.i freak out 2. i freak out and 3. i freak out. especially with only 2 weeks before my big race. and i am very impatient when it comes to the whole r.i.c.e. shebang. and how in the hell am i supposed to compress THAT area?
it's been maybe a little over a week since this weird pain crept in. it doesn't hurt a lot and even when i run it doesn't hurt enough to make me want to stop. it just feels weird. a little tight. and i feel it everytime i lift my right leg or do anything with my right leg actually. i suspect it happened over the week i tried to be all butch and fanatical with the weights and increased mileage. i could definitely feel it when i did those series of pushups. maybe it's more of a lower abdominal thing.
either way, something doesn't feel right and i'm not exactly quite sure what to do...
i am really bad when it comes to injury because 1.i freak out 2. i freak out and 3. i freak out. especially with only 2 weeks before my big race. and i am very impatient when it comes to the whole r.i.c.e. shebang. and how in the hell am i supposed to compress THAT area?
it's been maybe a little over a week since this weird pain crept in. it doesn't hurt a lot and even when i run it doesn't hurt enough to make me want to stop. it just feels weird. a little tight. and i feel it everytime i lift my right leg or do anything with my right leg actually. i suspect it happened over the week i tried to be all butch and fanatical with the weights and increased mileage. i could definitely feel it when i did those series of pushups. maybe it's more of a lower abdominal thing.
either way, something doesn't feel right and i'm not exactly quite sure what to do...
Monday, April 09, 2007
recovery monday
i survived a week of effed up hormones, a night of waaaaaaaaay too many margaritas, a weekend of god-awful allergies and ineffectual OTC medicine. i'm picking up my prescribed medicine today and paying FULL price because i was stupid enough to run out during the one month lapse between changing health insurance. but being able to breathe is important enough for me to pay $125 in sweet, sweet drugs.
besides, last time i was lax in taking my allergy meds, i got a sinus infection that put me in utter pain for my LAST half marathon. i've worked too hard for this one to not pay my stupid tax for the meds. it's a lot to pay when i'm used to paying only $30, but in the grand scheme of things i would easily and without thinking spend $125 on totally non essential items, like beer, clothing, cute earrings etc.
but i don't think the OTCs are totally out of my system and they're still making me feel totally wrecked. i think i'll just stay inside with my head covered, sipping tea with lots of local honey (they say this works too for allergies) and head out for a nice run TOMORROW.
besides, last time i was lax in taking my allergy meds, i got a sinus infection that put me in utter pain for my LAST half marathon. i've worked too hard for this one to not pay my stupid tax for the meds. it's a lot to pay when i'm used to paying only $30, but in the grand scheme of things i would easily and without thinking spend $125 on totally non essential items, like beer, clothing, cute earrings etc.
but i don't think the OTCs are totally out of my system and they're still making me feel totally wrecked. i think i'll just stay inside with my head covered, sipping tea with lots of local honey (they say this works too for allergies) and head out for a nice run TOMORROW.
Saturday, April 07, 2007
7+3=crappy
when my ipod wouldn't charge this morning, i should have taken that as a sign of what my energy level today would be like. it took me about 2 hours to get out of the house after i had changed into my running clothes, partly because i was waiting for the effing thing to charge and partly because i just really didn't want to get out there today. eventually, i just said eff it to my ipod, grabbed it with whatever juice it had and got in my car to run my 10 miles because they wouldn't run themselves.
here are my splits:
1: 11:26
2: 11:34
3: 11:46
4: 11:13
5: 11:47
6: 12:08
7: 11:34
8: 12:06
9: 12:53
the rest: 10:47
T: 1:57:18
they start off pretty decent, and every time my nano would tell me my pace, i'd look at my watch incredulously and go, what? i don't feel like i'm running a sub-12 minute mile. and after a couple of miles at an eleven-something pace i just stopped trying to slow myself down because it just wasn't happening.
which of course was a mistake because i really petered out at the end. at about 5 miles, i started to realize that this long, easy run felt more like a really long tempo run. while the pace was a little uncomfortable to keep up, i just couldn't WILL myself slower. so i just sucked up the discomfort for as long as i could.
the entire 2 hours was just not fun. maybe because it was windy. or more humid. or later than i like to run. at about mile 8, i just stopped trying to make it a happy run and settled into getting the last 2 miles of my sucky run done. at one point i wanted to just scream ENOUGH! at the top of my lungs and fling myself into the grass.
at mile 9, my ipod crapped out. i was able to make it about a half mile without it and the last quarter i threw in the towel and walked. i tore off my headphones, tore off my visor, tore out the elastics in my hair.
i'm not crazy disappointed though really. while i'm still relatively new to the running game, i've run enough to know that sometimes for whatever reason you have sucky ass runs. today was one of them. and next week brings the opportunity for some really great ones.
this weekend i won't even think about running. only about how many margaritas i can throw back tonight, how many dollar bills i will have to throw at oily men in banana hammocks to sufficiently embarrass my mother, and how much fun it will be to spend my first easter with my nephew.
here are my splits:
1: 11:26
2: 11:34
3: 11:46
4: 11:13
5: 11:47
6: 12:08
7: 11:34
8: 12:06
9: 12:53
the rest: 10:47
T: 1:57:18
they start off pretty decent, and every time my nano would tell me my pace, i'd look at my watch incredulously and go, what? i don't feel like i'm running a sub-12 minute mile. and after a couple of miles at an eleven-something pace i just stopped trying to slow myself down because it just wasn't happening.
which of course was a mistake because i really petered out at the end. at about 5 miles, i started to realize that this long, easy run felt more like a really long tempo run. while the pace was a little uncomfortable to keep up, i just couldn't WILL myself slower. so i just sucked up the discomfort for as long as i could.
the entire 2 hours was just not fun. maybe because it was windy. or more humid. or later than i like to run. at about mile 8, i just stopped trying to make it a happy run and settled into getting the last 2 miles of my sucky run done. at one point i wanted to just scream ENOUGH! at the top of my lungs and fling myself into the grass.
at mile 9, my ipod crapped out. i was able to make it about a half mile without it and the last quarter i threw in the towel and walked. i tore off my headphones, tore off my visor, tore out the elastics in my hair.
i'm not crazy disappointed though really. while i'm still relatively new to the running game, i've run enough to know that sometimes for whatever reason you have sucky ass runs. today was one of them. and next week brings the opportunity for some really great ones.
this weekend i won't even think about running. only about how many margaritas i can throw back tonight, how many dollar bills i will have to throw at oily men in banana hammocks to sufficiently embarrass my mother, and how much fun it will be to spend my first easter with my nephew.
Friday, April 06, 2007
technology my @ss
my parents' desktop computer is suddenly "broken", having come down with some sort of "virus". i didn't think it should affect my hardy and reliable mac, but apparently, my parents' computer needs to work for the internet connection to work? sounds fishy to me. it put a big wrench in some work i needed to do today and now i'm all crabby and ready to blame the entire world for my lack of convenience.
we managed to get my dad's laptop connected to the outside world so i could send some files, but not having internet access is worse than not having a telephone. or running water. i'm serious.
could i possibly be this spoiled and reliant on a technology that i've lived without for most of my life? it's sad, but true.
in job related news, i'm showing my portfolio to a creative staffing agency today and i've gotten some offers for more freelancing. of course this is also after i've committed to a full time schedule at the restaurant. this juggling of multi-gigs is stressful and i'll be happy once i can find a full time studio i love and adore.
and in running news, i have a 10 miler scheduled for tomorrow. which i hope is a breeze after running 15 last week. did i mention i ran 15 miles last week? ;) i'm not exactly sure how the rest of my training will play out in the next 2 weeks. i'll most likely do an 8 or 9 for my last long run, throw in a couple more speed workouts, and then go really easy the last 3 or so days before the race. if anyone has any suggestions, i'm open to them. i sort of got ahead of myself on the training schedule to meet my march goals so now i don't know how hard i should really be pushing at this point.
so have a great weekend peeps. my mom got us girls tickets to thunder from down under this saturday. my 60 year old, never been to a bar before, rosary praying, scared to go out at night mother got me, her, my sisters in law and her sister, tickets to a strip show. craziness! happy easter indeed!
we managed to get my dad's laptop connected to the outside world so i could send some files, but not having internet access is worse than not having a telephone. or running water. i'm serious.
could i possibly be this spoiled and reliant on a technology that i've lived without for most of my life? it's sad, but true.
in job related news, i'm showing my portfolio to a creative staffing agency today and i've gotten some offers for more freelancing. of course this is also after i've committed to a full time schedule at the restaurant. this juggling of multi-gigs is stressful and i'll be happy once i can find a full time studio i love and adore.
and in running news, i have a 10 miler scheduled for tomorrow. which i hope is a breeze after running 15 last week. did i mention i ran 15 miles last week? ;) i'm not exactly sure how the rest of my training will play out in the next 2 weeks. i'll most likely do an 8 or 9 for my last long run, throw in a couple more speed workouts, and then go really easy the last 3 or so days before the race. if anyone has any suggestions, i'm open to them. i sort of got ahead of myself on the training schedule to meet my march goals so now i don't know how hard i should really be pushing at this point.
so have a great weekend peeps. my mom got us girls tickets to thunder from down under this saturday. my 60 year old, never been to a bar before, rosary praying, scared to go out at night mother got me, her, my sisters in law and her sister, tickets to a strip show. craziness! happy easter indeed!
Thursday, April 05, 2007
wax on, wax off
an hour on the bike, 16.25 miles for the log book. but the greatest feat about today's workout was that i got it done at all. i missed my opportunity for a morning workout because i had a lot of work that HAD to get done today. I wrote off any workout and tried not to feel too bad because it was a crosstraining day. i knew that if i didn't get it done in the morning, a workout wasn't gonna happen later in the day.
by 3:00, all my work was one and my brain was fried. but miraculously i thought to myself, wow the gym would feel really good right about now. crazy, huh?
i didn't get my weights in though. i wanted to get home and wash my car since i haven't washed it since...december. i figured car washing could be a decent workout. and if i still have some energy left in me, i'll haul out the free weights and get to crackin' while watching UGLY BETTY tonight.
by 3:00, all my work was one and my brain was fried. but miraculously i thought to myself, wow the gym would feel really good right about now. crazy, huh?
i didn't get my weights in though. i wanted to get home and wash my car since i haven't washed it since...december. i figured car washing could be a decent workout. and if i still have some energy left in me, i'll haul out the free weights and get to crackin' while watching UGLY BETTY tonight.
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