marathon race report: is this for real?!?!

the day before the race i was surprisingly calm. almost too calm, i thought. we went to the expotique to pick up my race packet. there were a lot of other things going on like manicures, mini massages, and a bunch of things you could do with your nike plus. all i had the patience to do was wait in line to get my ipod laser engraved! i wasn't about to spend too much time on my feet the day before a big race. after that we headed to the marina to the local fleet feet for an extra pouch for my fuel belt. we stopped to have lunch (a burger joint serving organic beef and the best curly fries ever) and then we went home (my grandma's house).

i was calm the rest of the day. i laid out my gear, checked my ipod, and texted EVERYONE i know. i watched back-to-back episodes of kathy griffin standup, and finally had my dinner of fried rice. when i laid down to go to bed, i said a little prayer and closed my eyes.

i didn't really sleep. but i wasn't restless either. it wasn't that i'm a kid the day before i go to disneyworld kind of feeling, but i also knew tomorrow wasn't just any other ordinary day either. i had no problems waking at 4:30 am.

i got up, made my cereal, got my hot water, and ate breakfast in bed while watching the weather: sunny. a little windy. temps ranging from 55 to the low 70s. who could ask for a better day?! i got dressed, lubed, and peed about 3 times before leaving the house with the fam.

it was still dark when we got to union square. the only people on the streets were homeless people and mobs of runners. the energy was just insane. it felt like 80% of the crowd was dressed in TNT purple. there were people with crazy hats, crazy signs. families, couples. mothers. daughters. every once in a while i'd get hit with the feeling, "this is it!" and i'd well up. this is the day i trained for. this is the day i have dreamed about for years! i just felt so proud. so thankful. so happy.

here's me and mom while we wait for the race to start:


at 7:00 am, we counted down and the front of the line was off! my pace group just stood still. finally we started shuffling forward and right before the start line the street opened up and we were free to run! i heard my chip beep and knew this was for real baby!

the spectators in the beginning were ridiculous! just throngs of people with cowbells and whistles. someone was passing out leis, so i grabbed one. i soaked it all in, but i was distracted. i had to pee again! i had seriously just started and a bathroom break was already on my mind. i figured i'd deal with it when i could and took it as a sign i was properly hydrated.

from the financial district we ran to the ferry building and along the embarcadero. with the sunrise and the beautiful bay, i wondered why everyeone didn't do their first marathon here. the first bathroom station was chock full of people so i didn't stop. the urge wasn't too bad. i took water at this first station and took a walk break. my plan was to do 13 min miles. take a walk break at every mile. walk to gu. take water at every aid station (about every 2 miles). and walk whenever i felt like i needed a break. the embarcadero took us through fisherman's wharf and into the marina. during this stretch, i was calm, every so often reminding myself to go slow and easy. and i kept to my 13:00 pace.

up until the marina the streets were wide enough for me to run unobstructed. it was a little annoying that so many people were walking 3 or 4 or 5 abreast, but i tried my best to not be a catty bitch this early in the race. i just smiled, remembering jen's advice: smile. be that girl who makes other people want to be runners.

from the marina, we ran through crissy field, along the beach, with great views of the golden gate bridge. i've seen this bridge a million times but i never tire of the sight. the sea air felt like heaven and it still hasn't really hit me that i'm running a marathon! this felt way too good!

from here i knew we would be entering the presidio, mile 7, and that steep ass hill. we go up a small hill, wind around, and bam! there it is.



everyone stops to walk. i was determined to run this hill. i had a score to settle with this hill. this very hill that had me begging for mercy during my 14 mile training run. so very calmly i climbed, taking in deep breaths laced with eucalyptus. and as i passed more and more people, from all over the us and the world, all i thought was, "this is how we do it in san francisco, bitches!" i made it to the top, feeling very triumphant. i took a much needed walking break and gawked at those who stopped at the oxygen bar.

from here we ran into the sea cliff district. million dollar homes with gorgeous views of the ocean. miles 8 - 10 offered yet another incline, but this time i run/walk it. on the way down the hill, i keep repeating, "light feet, light feet" doing my best not to beat up my legs with too much pounding. as we're going downhill, i see the ocean and all i could think was " the lemmings are coming! the lemmings are coming!"

mile 11 takes us into golden gate park and another surge of rambunctious crowds. i high-five total strangers i'll never see again and people are yelling my name left and right. it was frickin' sweet!

it still doesn't feel like i'm running a marathon. it just feels too damned good! i was a little late in taking my first gu because i got so wrapped up in the crowds and i just didn't feel tired or hungry. but the excitement is a little shortlived. nothing but trees surround us and i'm starting to get a little bored. i STILL have to pee and we're going up another incline. somewhere around mile 11, the half- marathoners split off and i'm happy for it. i'm finally with my brethren: the full marathoners. we don't get to stop in 2 miles. for us the race is really just beginning.

sometime after mile 12, i see runners on the other side of the road. i pass the sign for their mile 14 and this is the first time i feel a little disheartened. this is the first time i see the pack who's ahead of me.

but soon enough, i'm part of that pack starting on the second half of the race. i'm still feeling strong and i feel better knowing the worst of the hills are behind me. finally, finally, finally, shortly after mile 15 i spot a port-o-potty with only 2 people waiting and i stop. i now truly appreciate the saying "i have to piss like a race horse".

feeling refreshed, i run on. this is when the race really begins for me. this is when i start to feel the challenge. as we veer out of the park, i see my family! they're screaming their heads off and i high five 'em. what a freakin' boost! i'm still reeling from the fact that i actually saw them when i'm hit with the sweet scent of sea air! ah, the ocean! the waves! my heaven.

ocean highway is thankfully very flat. i'm on target to finish in the neighborhood of 5:30 and as i'm calclating how much of the highway i have to run before hitting the zoo and lake merced, a crazy, blonde runs in front of me. it's jen!!! a real, life blogger! holy shit! she starts trotting next to me and we chat while we run. she offers me gu, water, and the best words of encouragement ever. she says i looks strong. i feel strong. she's raced this course before, so her words mean even more to me. we fill my bottles and she sends me on my merry way.

by now i'm between mile 17 and 18. runners on the other side of the highway are already at their mile 24. part of me wishes i could just hop the little divider and be almost done too. i suddenly, don't feel so strong. the road ahead of me is new territory. i'd never been to the zoo or lake merced, so the next 5 miles were totally unfamiliar. i see the lake, the big ass lake, and take a deep breath.

it's already close to noon, and for the first time i'm starting to feel the sun beat down on me. for the first time i start to feel dehydrated. i'm sucking down water like it's beer. at one point around mile 20, i get a little dizzy. there is very little running 'round this god-foresaken lake. i curse the traffic of cars beside us. i curse the asphalt. and all the people who said the rest of the course was flat. it's NOT!! i try not to spit fire at the crowds because right now their presence is really annoying me. i just want to get in a zone, but i can't. with the last of my water, i take an extra gu early. i find shade when i can and stay positive knowing there's a water station in another mile or so.

i'm getting passed more than i'd like. my 5:30 pace slips further away. lightheartedly, i say outloud "are we almost done?". a woman next to me by the name of elizabeth answers. i don't even remember what her reply is, but she's taken my bait and we're chatting. normally, i'm not the type to talk while i run. but i wasn't running. i was walking. and i really needed a diversion. i needed someone to say they were feeling just like me. we talk about where we hurt and what shoddy trainers we were. i find out she's a mom from atlanta, i tell her i'm a recent california re-transplant waiting tables and doing freelance design. i find out she's a life coach/career coach and silently i thank god for sending me this angel.

eventually, we come up to a water stop. i fill up my bottles, take 2 cups, gu, and down another cup. i lost elizabeth in the crowd, but i find her again. i don't want to stalk her, but she says, "girl we're finishing this together." before mile 23, we pass the ghiradelli chocolate station but chocolate is the LAST thing on my mind. we see the left turn back onto ocean highway, and i say to elizabeth, "let's run to the highway before we have to climb the last hill."

mile 23 is a hill. everyone who said the second half of the course is flat is a liar. but once we reach the top, i forget about that. miles of ocean stretch before me. the waves are rolling in and once again the air is salty and fresh. i say to elizabeth, "we have to run this!" and so we do.

we pass mile 24 and my heart surges! again the crowd thickens and people are yelling our names. our strategy for the last 2.2 miles is to run every other stop light. during our walk breaks we chat with coaches and spectators. we talk a lot. about how she met her husband, our spiritual lives, about how much we want a beer, and how good it would feel to just jump into the ocean. before we know it we're at mile 25!!!!! we call our families to get ready for us. at this point, i'm just beaming. i'm grinning ear to ear. i thank elizabeth for the millionth time. she says i saved her in the nick of time, my voice being exactly what she needed to hear. i overhead someone saying the finish line is just 3 stop lights away!!!!

we run one. we walk the next.

and there i see it. the finish line!!!! mobs and mobs of crowds. sons and daughters have rushed in to run with their moms. i see my family screaming like maniacs. i wave! i smile! i soak it all in. this is it. this! is! it! i feel like i'm on top of the world. and i'm welling up with tears just remembering it!

elizabeth and i cross the finish line together and i let out a huge scream!!!!!! i grab the precious blue tiffany box from a man in a tuxedo, get wrapped up like a baked potato person in a mylar blanket, and head straight for the bagels.

i grab water, a banana, granola, anything and everything people are offering me. i take deep breaths and look around. i just finished my first ever marathon. i just finished my first ever marathon!

my family spots me first and they come barrelling towards me. i give hugs all around and they all pose for pictures with me. here's me and one of my cousins:



once i've scooped up my goodies, we walk towards the car. i dump my stuff on my mom and i open up the precious blue box. SWEET!! (i'll post pics of the medal/necklace tomorrow)

on the way home (my grandma's house), we're chatty and excited. the best part was that my cousin and my aunt say they want to do the half marahon next year!!!!!! we stopped at bev mo for 40 pounds of ice. once home, i prepare my bath and shower, and my aunt prepares my post marathon feast:





a seafood smorgasbord. all the white fluffy rice i could possibly eat. brocolli beef. and seaweed salad. i've had this same meal many times before, but man was it ever so sweet then. then my cousins and i settled in with a tub of ube (purple yam) ice cream and a movie. the perfect ending to a perfect day!!!!

i have splits and my time, but i'll post about all that tomorrow. after my 90 minute massage.

all that matters is i finsihed! smiling even! and i can't wait to do another!!!!

proud.

in all my excitement, and anxiety, and planning, and denial, i haven't yet really taken the time to step back, and say "hey jenn, you done good." just typing that now, brings tears to my eyes. in all the weeks i've trained, i was concerned with being focused, driven, strong, motivated. i was thinking strategy, nutrition, hydration. and during the many times i thought for sure i could not do this, i was picking myself up, not allowing myself to fail. i was quick to see my flaws and weaknesses, but slow to feel proud of my accomplishments.

but today is that day. the day i look in the mirror and see the perfect little marathoner that i have become. somehow i had gotten it in my head that i couldn't feel this good because my training hadn't gone perfectly. i missed too many runs, drank too many beers, didn't cross-train enough, i thought. but no one's training ever goes perfectly. but that's what training is about! training is about pushing, feeling pain and learning to cope. it's about enduring imperfect conditions and flourishing anyway!

i look in the mirror now and certainly don't see the body of a marathoner. but that's kind of the miracle of it. i trained my short, chubby, not-biomechanically-built-for-running body to run 26.2 fucking miles. my imperfect body. doing seemingly impossible things.

so here i stand, in utter amazement of myself. it's funny, pride isn't a feeling i let myself feel very often. because i'm always looking to see how i can do better. or feeling like people do this kind of stuff every day. but today, is my day. to pat myself on the back and really appreciate me. as a runner. a strong, kick-ass, never-ever-gonna-quit runner.

pressure cooker

ok i had my first mini freak out last night when i realized how many of my family members were coming to cheer me on on sunday. my brothers and dad weren't able to make it, so i thought the number would be small, just my mom. but then a good number of my cousins and a couple of my aunts will be there too. which somehow turned the pressure waaaay up.

which is totally ridiculous. i'll be fine out there. i'll be fine....

inside my mind

i had to empty out my purse before running errands yesterday and i just had to laugh at the contents. they say you can tell a lot about a woman by what's in her purse. mine reveals the madness of a tapering marathoner. there was the standard fare: wallet, keys, planner, journal, tampons. but i also had a second wallet, about $50 in ones not in either wallet (and i'm not a stripper!), a bow tie, lots of mail, a banana, an apple, a persimmon, a bottle of green tea, a pair of running gloves, a pair of running socks, the non-runners guide to marathoning, and a full sized bottle of advil. all i'm missing is some bodyglide and my shoes! that's a lot to schlep around!

in other news, the ball-between-your-legs yoga i did yesterday has made my butt and hips sore. boooooo! bad for taper, but useful information for later.

this waiting around is driving me nuts. i'm trying to be patient, but i just want to run it already! the expo starts today and goes through saturday. i could be a total geek and spend my time (and all my money) at the expo, but i think that really might tire me out. what i should do i finish the rest of the errands on my list from yesterday, but who can think about work at a time like this!?!?!?!?

the perfect morning

i slept in until 7 am today and got my three easy miles in shortly after waking. i followed it with an hour of yoga. today we did a core class using a small ball which we held between our legs the entire class. looks easy, but keeping the ball in place required more concentration and skill. the poses we normally do took on a new dimension for me today. and my yoga instructor is starting to grow on me. she seemed a little too hippie-new-agey for me in the beginning, but now i almost laugh at her attempts to be funny.

i followed all that with some homemade banana walnut pancakes! YUM! i topped them with a little bit of almond butter, sliced strawberries, and the littlest bit of maple syrup. HEA-VEN. i've just finished the crossword puzzle and am trying to get motivated to really start my day.

the afternoon will be full of a lot of work. ugh. i have stacks of mail to go through, invoicing, a new freelance project to start, and some laundry (my least favorite chore, ever) . among my more fun errands are to gather my gear for the marathon, stop at the running store for gels and a bigger pouch for my fuel belt, and start to put together the game plan for myself and my spectators for the weekend.

my reward for a busy afternoon will be a relaxing evening diving into my new book, the wonder spot by melissa bank (author of the girl's guide to hunting and fishing) i recently finished a long way down and how to be good, both by nick hornby. i meant to pick up hornby's latest book, slam, but the wonder spot was on sale. once i read it though, i'll have read all of hornby's novels. if you've been reading my blog for awhile, you also know i like john irving. i've had his latest on my shelf for forever, and i try to read it, but i don't think i can train for a marathon AND try to do marathon reading sessions as well. i tried reading everything is illuminated by jonathan foer, but could not for the life of me get into it. i've heard good things about david sedaris, so he's also on my list to try. for a while, i was really into memoirs, but lately i've just been reading what's on the remainder table at BN or books with interesting covers i find at thrift stores. randomly, i also picked up a copy of the odyssey this summer. we'll see if i ever crack that book open. lately, i've been diving into 2 new cookbooks: student's go vegan cookbook and la dolce vegan. what's on your shelves?

great news!

today, my car is officially paid off! woo hoo!! i'm doin' the dance of joy!

what will i be doing with my newfound riches? paying down my credit cards...but the light at the end of that tunnel will be much faster approaching now! like by february! woot!

thoughts while tapering

i know they say the taper is the most excruciating part of training, but i don't really see what the big deal is. to be honest, i have welcomed this taper with open arms. i am so. over. training. already. i think part of me is avoiding thinking about the marathon because if i think about it too much i'll waste soooo much energy getting too excited. seriously, i remind myself it's this weekend and i get all giddy and start clapping my hands and making squealing noises. i'm really really excited. i can see the city in my mind, filled with crowds and music and runners. i'm afraid i'll get myself so excited, i'll exhaust myself.

and yeah, i'm nervous. i'm anxious. i don't think i trained nearly enough. i'm not in as good of shape as i thought i would be at this point. but there's nothing i can do about it now. i've made my bed and now i just have to run this fucker knowing at the very least that i never, ever, quit any of my long runs. even when i was exhausted after a long day of work. even when monstrous hills lay before me. mentally, i'm ready. physically?? we'll just see. but if this race is a mind over matter thing, i have a fighting chance.

i've waffled on whether i'm going to run another marathon after this. part of me doesn't think i'm really cut out for this much endurance. 16 weeks of training is a long time, and you all saw me fall off and get back on the wagon several times over. it's hard for me to remain dedicated and focused for that long. but having gone through it, i now know it's really not THAT bad. the next time around, i would definitely be smarter. and based on my ability to bounce back even after what seemed to be the longest of hiatuses, i think i could totally do better the next time around. and it's that thought that makes me want to run another.

what would i do differently? a lot. i wish i was in better shape all around. i'm probably the only marathoner to gain weight during training, and it ain't muscle. my diet would be good one week, crap the next. then good, then crap. and lord knows, a good strength training regimen would have done me worlds of good. also, next time around, i think i'd like to run with a training group. i think it will help make me more consistent. and in making my workouts more structured. i was so lax with my schedule sometimes that intervals turned into tempo runs, tempo runs turned into easy runs etc. but also, i'd like to be surrounded by "like minded" people. i love my family and friends, but they make slipping back into my drunken couch potato ways all too easy. and they have no interest in my training. it would be nice to talk to a real live flesh and blood person about that kind of stuff. it can be hard doing it all on your own.

so i guess in a way, i'm glad this training is over and i get to wipe my slate clean again. and with this being my first marathon, i'm excited to just be doing it! to have gotten this far at all. maybe i'll be the very last person across the finish line, but i don't care. i don't care if i have to stop and walk. and i know i'll hit parts where i will not want to run another step, but i won't stop. i never have. i know for a fact that i WILL cross that finish line. i know for a fact that i will have the freakin' time of my life!!!!

see there i go again, getting too excited!!!!!!!

holy. crap.

i'm running a marathon next week!

i'm running a marathon next week!

i'm! running! a! marathon!

NEXT!

WEEK!!!!!!

pumpkins! everywhere!

did i tell you guys i love halloween? well i do. i didn't as a kid because my mom never let us go trick or treating or get dressed up. she was always paranoid about us getting posion candy or being abducted by strangers. and she never wanted to buy the expensive store bought costumes so she was always scrambling at the last minute to help all three of us come up with something.

but as an adult, you can do whatever you want! i don't drop the 70 plus dollars on those skanky ass costumes at the store. i like making my own. I LOVE MAKING MY OWN!! (and i'll spare everyone a huge long diatribe about how i hate that halloween is just an excuse for normal girls to dress like skanks. if you're a skank, be one all year round. don't hide behind halloween. and seriously, are you THAT uncreative? that's all i'll say about that.)

anyway, onto pumpkin carving! MH and i went to a pumpkin patch after work and picked out some decent sized gourds! all i thought was, YES! LOTS OF PUMPKIN SEEDS! so we took 'em home, along with some pizza, beer, and a scary movie, and dug in. my FAVORITE part is cleaning out the inside! squishing my hand in all the guts gives me such satisfaction. the designs we chose ended up being harder than we thought, but i think they turned out nicely, no?


and because a few people asked, here's the recipe for the pumpkin cranberry scones:
1 c all-purpose flour
1/2 c whole-wheat flour
1/2 c cornmeal
2 tsp baking powder
1/4 tsp salt
1/2 c dried cranberries (but i like them, so i add more!)
6 oz (3/4 c) canned pumpkin
3/4 c soy milk (it's a vegan recipe)
1/4 c vegetable oil
1/4 c pure maple syrup

preheat the oven to 450. lightly oil a baking sheet.

to a large bowl, add the flours, cornmeal, baking powder, and salt. whisk or stir well to distribute the baking powder and salt throughout. add the dried cranberries and stir again. set aside.

to a medium bowl, combine the pumpkin, soy milk, oil, and maple syrup. add the pumpkin mixture to the flour mixture, stirring just to combine. do not overmix or the scones will be tough. drop the batter by 1/4 cups onto the baking sheet, 1 inch apart.

bake for 12-15 minutes, until lightly brown on top. served hot. great with fruit preserves or even with chili or soup!

i made scones!

from scratch! pumpkin cranberry. yum.

i was hoping to have a few after my workout this morning, but my dad gobbled up the leftovers in the middle of the night! i guess that means i can call them a success.

insomnia

instead of sleeping, i'm trying to redesign my blog. but with very little success. i am a print designer fumbling with web designer tools. arg. but i guess this is a good way to keep my brain occupied during my taper.

my hat goes off to all racers out in chicago today. i would have melted into a pile of steamy goo! i don't even like being at the beach in those conditions. i wonder how jess fared, considering she trained in the hot, humid swamp that is southern florida...no matter what though, all you chicago marathoners are super-troopers in my book!

in happy race news, allison ran a smokin' hot ten miler! the good kind of smokin' hot! go on over and congratulate her and her bionic knee.

my fall tan

5 gus, 2 liters of water, and 20 miles later

lately, my short runs have been slow. like slower than usual. so my goal for my final long training run was to run 13 minute miles. and i did average 13 minute miles. just not the way i wanted to...

before my run i was feeling crappy, but had gotten that all out of my system by mile 5. and through mile 9 i was feeling like i was born to run. my splits: 11:32, 11:00, 11:59, 12:15, 11:55, 6:45 (my watch accidentally stopped but the real time is somewhere in the 12 range, 12:16, 12:13, 12:16. obviously, i'm not at my goal pace, but i'm finding it very hard to slow myself down, even with walking breaks.

so i started making more of an effort to slow down. miles 10-11: 12:29, 12:45. it helped that i was kinda getting tired.

at this point, i started damage control. forcing more frequent walk breaks at a ratio of 3 min running to 1 min walking. miles 12-14: 13:20, 12:37, 13:02,

then mile 15 kicked me in the ass. 15:11.

at this point, i veered from my planned route. i couldn't bear the thought of anymore hills and if i had kept on going i would have to tackle 3 more, not counting the one i had no choice to run up to my house.

so miles 16 and 17, i fared much better: 13:23, 13:24. it helped that i played "til i collapse" on a continuous loop.

then came mile 18: 16:35. what happened? i stopped to stretch, a lot. and i started getting this uneasy feeling in my stomach. like i was gonna throw up. i could barely down the gu i was scheduled to take. i could barely drink anymore water. i've never felt like hurling during a run before.

so i tried to pick it up for mile 19 but during my bouts of running, i started getting dizzy: 15:30. at this point, i'm quite certain i'm dehydrated and i guess it wasn't a surprise since it was past noon and temps were in the mid to high 70s. and maybe i hadn't properly hydrated the past two days?? it didn't feel like it, but maybe PMS requires drinking more water?

if i could have stopped, i would have. but as it was i was still a mile from my house. so i trudged on, walked on. my final mile: 14:22. total time 4:20: 49.

as for my 5 gus, i alternated 3 gus (mint chocolate flavor!!! tastes JUST like brownie batter with caffeine!) and 2 powergels with 4x the sodium. as for my water, i had 1 liter in my fuel belt and i refilled at mile 11.

i don't really know what to think at this point except that 1. if i'm PMSing now, any period issues will have passed by october 21. and for that i am eternally grateful. 2. it most likely won't be as hot come race day because i will be in sf and 3. there is always something i can do about hydration. if anyone has any suggestions for race day, i'm very open to them.

so now officially begins the taper. which considering my inconsistent, lazy training, shouldn't be too hard ;) i'm undecided what "long" distance i should run next week, so any suggestions on that would be helpful too. other than that, i'm planning on yoga-ing my heart out, spinning to keep sane, and enjoying my shorter runs.

#4890

that's my nike bib number.

i kind of like that it ends in a zero. other than that, it's really just a number.

uh yeah, the number for my first ever marathon!!!!!!

a slice of heaven

if you've never been to carmel, ca, stop what you're doing and start planning your trip now. it's romantic. it's relaxing. it's great for familes. it's even good for dogs. my mom and i stayed only one night, but carmel is so close to heaven that 30 hours is all it takes to fully recharge your batteries. once i hit the beach and took in the crisp, salty air, my soul opened up and my whole body breathed a huge sigh of relief. the three hour drive was worth that one breath.

my mom and i were meeting my best friend and her mom who were taking a 2 day excursion north from their week long vacation in san diego. we stayed at a cute little inn about half a block from the beach. the property featured lush gardens and lots of private little seating nooks. there was also an outdoor fire pit, which we soon noticed was a fixture in most carmel restaurants.

so we took the famed 17-mile drive along the coast to monterey. had a sardine and salmon lunch in cannery row, window shopped for things we would never ever be able to afford, basked in the sun while reading in the garden, dined alfresco next to a roaring fire, and sang showtunes at mission ranch's piano bar (owned by clint eastwood, carmel's former mayor!)

the first day was a picture perfect california day: sunny, temps in the 70s. the second day was a different kind of typical california seaside day: foggy. but i LOVE fog. it's calming. it's mysterious. you can hear the ocean, but you can't see it.

i was sad to go, and dreaded the 3 hour drive back to reality. but i could never live in carmel. everyone there is old. and too rich for my blood. i would probably be relegated to cleaning their toilets. unless i made a sugar daddy out of one of them.

check out all the pics from our relaxing getaway to carmel. trust me, you'll be planning a trip out there asap. and when you do, call me. i'll meet you there!

carmel 2007

so ugly it's pretty

about a week after i dropped the ice block on my toe, i got a pedicure. but after 2 months, it was time to remove the polish. i have to say i'm totally fascinated by how ugly my first toes are. i think i want to show them off.

i promise i'll have real pretty pictures to post soon. i'm off to carmel for a mother/daughter getaway!

idle hands are the playground for the devil

ok so maybe i'm a loser for doing this but, hey whatever we all do this right? right?!

i was bored. and i remembered that yesterday was my ex's birthday. so i looked him up on myspace (the other playground for the devil). and lo and behold he has a new girlfriend! not a surprise at all. just a surprise that he'd announce it publicly, considering his sneaky, cheating ways.

but anyways, the new gf? omg. i am SOOOOO much cuter.

blink! and you miss...

am i the only one who's totally appalled that it's practically OCTOBER?!

seriously, where did the summer go? or for that matter, the year?! how is it that there's only 3 more months left in 2007? i swear i just got used to writing 2007.

and i totally missed my one year blog-iversary by 20 whole freakin' days! but today marks the 4 week countdown to marathon madness! and madness is the only word i can use to describe it! i cannot WAIT til race day. i'm excited. and nervous. but mostly excited. i have a 20 mile training run still left this week. but i'm pretty confident. or delusional.

looking back on my training, i'm actually kind of shocked i've made it this far. i'm like the suckiest, least consistent runner in the world. i'll probably be the most undertrained marathon attempter of all time. but i will say this: i'm not injured. and after my last two half marathons, i suffered from some overuse injuries in my foot, knees, and hips. and this time around, even though i didn't train nearly as hard or as often or as consistently as i would have liked, i can definitely say i did respect the rest component of training.

training for 16 weeks for one race is like waiting 10 years for one christmas! i'm sick of waiting already!!!!

the monchichi turns 2!

yesterday, my nephew turned a whole 2 years old! it's crazy! these lil buggers grow up way fast. when i cam home in december he could barely walk, let alone say anything comprehensible, and now we've got to chase him everywhere and he won't shut up, even if we don't understand him half the time!

i love seeing his little personality emerge. he's starting to learn sarcasm (gee i wonder who taught him!) but he's still so very gentle. i absolutely LOVE his laugh. if we could somehow bottle it i'm sure it could cure every disease on earth. i love when he reaches for my hand. and i love when he holds me just a little tighter when he doesn't want me to let go. it's good being an auntie :)

he gets his real party with everyone in the family on saturday but here are a few highlights from his actual bday:

digging deep. like to china deep.

just call me the human hamster.

i did 18 miles on the treadmill. AFTER a 7 hour waitressing shift.

i'm totally serious. here's how it went down:

miles 1-9 were pretty good. i was a little tight in the beginning but by mile 3 my legs loosened up. you would think my legs would be nice and warm by then, but they were also tired. on one tv i watched a marathon of america's next top model. on another tv i watched fat camp on mtv. both were very motivating in keeping my ass in gear. thank god i couldn't hear any of it though because tyra banks makes me want to vomit. and not in the bulemic, i want to be a supermodel like her kind of way. but in the oh my god she is so freaking annoying kind of way.

once i hit the halfway mark, i was a little tired. not like pooped, but i wasn't excited to do a whole 9 more miles. but i plugged along anyway. mile 10 was a little harder. mile 11 sucked my ass. hard. i was like fuck this shit. fuck this marathon. fuck fuck fuck! i was really, really, really tired. my legs ached. my feet throbbed. and even though i was dead tired, i could feel my adrenaline rising with all my stressing. so i went into damage control mode. i clicked through my ipod to find a slow song to sing to.

i am embarrassed to say that "secret lovers" is what got me through my 11 mile freakout. i mean that song is just so freaking cheesy. i love the line, "in the middle of making love we notice the time..." i don't know if music videos had been invented when this song was out, because i certainly don't remember ever seeing a video for this, but if there was one, i can imagine what this particular scene would look like: candles, white billowing curtains, a man with a jheri curl and a woman with huge hair, tumbling in red satin sheets, they look up and *gasp* !!! the clock! such drama! the woman flees quickly putting on her shiny purple dress with the huge shoulder pads, her blue eye liner smearing across her face. jheri curl man runs to the window to watch as his sweetheart drives off...as they sing...to each other. hil-freakin-arious!

ahem. ok. moving on.

so since a slower paced song helped to calm me down, i tuned into my military cadence playlist. i turned the speed way down, like the slowest possible speed that can still be considered running (4.5 mph. yes i was actually still running at this speed). the rhythm of the chants and the footsteps in the background helped clear my mind so that i wasn't wasting energy on thinking. about anything. seriously. my mind has never been so blank. all i did was repeat the chants as they said them. that is the beauty of cadences.

so i got through to mile 16 this way. for a brief second i just wanted to roll off the treadmill and fall into a heap and sleep on the floor. in the middle of the gym.

2 more miles. just 2 more miles. i stopped and walked for a quarter mile. to just muster the strength to run. and then i ran. at mile 17, with only one mile left i knew i would make it. i even gave myself permission to walk the entire thing if i had to. again, i walked another quarter mile. then i clicked over to the rocky theme, and busted out the final three quarters.

18 miles, people. 18 miles.

i am way too tired to get together an ice bath for myself. so i might just soak my legs in cold water before switching to warm. the scary thing is i work tomorrow at 7 am.

if this marathon is about endurance, i think i've got what it takes.

splits:
1: 13:57
2: 12:57
3: 12:11
4: 12:13
5: 12:02
6: 11:57
7: 11:44
8: 12:24
9: 11:52
10: 12:20
11: 12:08
12: 14:57 (the mile of suckage)
13: 13:23
14: 14:00
15: 13:45
16: 13:17
17: 15:53
18: 14:34

T: 3:55:42
AVE PACE: 13:00 (slower than molasses, but what can i do?)

being productive

i was so productive this week with other things: met with a new client, got my invoicing paperwork and tax research done, put together 2 bookcases from ikea, organized all the crap to put on those bookcases, did 3 loads of laundry, reorganized my closet, babysat the nephew.

so let's just say that between all that and work, no running got done. i planned on getting my long run in friday morning, but i got some news thursday night that knocked me on my ass and i was in no frame of mind to sleep. i won't go into the details, but having had the whole day to let the information sit, i'm no longer feeling so discombobulated about it.

so today, must be more productive, in terms of running. i'm doing 18 tonight, after work, on the treadmill.

i know i'm insane. i can't quite believe i'm actually planning to do this, but i've read that musicians and other people who travel a lot, who also happen to train for marathons, do this too. so yeah, wish me luck.

anyone got some prozac?

i hate that i turn into a bitchy monster once a month, but i can't help it. my hormones are a force stronger than anything on earth. even drugs. even alcohol. but that doesn't mean i won't try to calm my inner beast with a few glasses of wine.

after my 16 miles on saturday, i had to work 9 hours at a wedding, and another 8 hours the next morning. monday after work i was pooped and it's taken me until today to feel half normal. i'm counting my overtime at the hotel as cross training and getting a recovery run in tomorrow.

but right now, i'm self medicating with chocolate and wine.

rollin' with the homies

at long last, a triumphant long run report!

last night i was able to find my watch, but my nike plus receiver was still at large. so i made a plan to run a 3.25 mile loop from my house, continue on to run the 10.25 mile loop to the golf course, and then finish up with the 3.25 mile loop i started with. when i charted it out on gmaps pedometer, it would total roughly 16.75 miles.

before my run, i drove to the entrance of the golf course to stash 2 bottles of water. i also stashed one on my porch. i had 4 full bottles on my fuel belt but i always get nervous that i don't have enough water and there was only one place along my route to buy water and that was at safeway. and we all know how i feel about safeway! i packed 4 gus with the idea to stop and walk every 45 minutes to take one. i also planned to take 10 second walk breaks somewhere between each gu. (thanks wendy for your tip)

so off i started in the semi-darkness. the first mile kinda sucked as it included a hill, but once i found the other side, i was running pretty smoothly. i did my 3.25 loop, got back to my house and peed. while it was annoying to have to stop i felt confident that i was properly hydrated.

so off i went again. there was another small uphill portion but for the most part, the next 2.5 miles would be nice and flat. which would be good because the first half of the golf course was a long, slow climb. by the time i got there, i was not even halfway through my bottles, so i didn't have to refill. onward i trudged. up, up, up. before i knew it the worst of the hills were behind me and i could cruise the slow, descent down.

somewhere along the way i reached the halfway mark and i assessed my situation. i wasn't spent, but it also didn't feel like a walk in the park. my spirits were high, but i knew i wasn't going to just fly through the second half. but i pressed on.

i made it to the entrance of the golf course, and found my water bottles totally unfucked around with! while i'd heard of people doing this all the time, i'd never done it myself because i was always afraid someone would find my bottles and put drugs in them or something. stupid, i know. but you have those thoughts when you are raised by a paranoid, overprotective mother.

anyway, at this point, i was relieved to run a nice flat stretch of road. during this time a couple thoughts ran through my head. i tried to do the math of how far i'd run and how much longer i had and what time it was now and what time i wanted to finish , but my brain started to get really confused. then for some strange reason, i thought of where i was on 9/11. . i remember that day very, very vividly. i remember the second i heard the news and everything that happened afterward. i don't know why i started thinking about it, but i did. then my mind started to prepare for the uphill climb back up to my house, where i would reach
13.5 miles.

the idea of stopping then didn't even occur to me. i was tired, sure, but i knew i only had 3.25 miles left to go. even if i had to walk half of it, i'd still try. so up another hill i climbed and down again i went. when i got to the turn around point i was fucking spent. at that point i'd cleared about 15 miles, a valiant effort indeed. i took my final gu and a took a long walk break to figure out how i was gonna finish the last 1.6 miles. i was just sooo tired. and my legs were really starting to not like me.

but then wendy's voice said to me, "your mind is stronger than your body". she appeared out of nowhere, hovering in the air, with her arms crossed looking really stoic, looking kind of like a genie. then i heard anne's motherly voice, whispering in my ear "you can do it". she was sitting on my shoulder like one of those good angels. then i saw jen and maritza on the race course, with a big sign cheering and yelling like they were on crack. then i heard marcy, swearing and cursing at me to finish. i saw neese on the sidelines, meditating and calm, sending me good vibes. and i saw jess and bcg at the finish line with huge pitchers of cold, frosty beer in each hand. i was mentally high-fiving people left and right, amy, teacherwoman, josie, gina. what a coincidence that bobby brown's "every little step i take" came on my ipod. i felt sooo invigorated!

and it was very appropo that rihanna's "umbrella" came on as i rounded the corner to finish the last quarter mile home! i felt so much more energized at mile 16.5 than i did at 15! mind over matter, people. mind over matter.

while i couldn't take splits at every mile, i took splits at distances i knew.

split: (total distance): split time: (total time)
1.625: (1.625) 20.53 (20.52)
1.625 (3.25): 19.08 (40:01)
2.5 (5.75): 27:54 (1:07:56)
5.25: (11): 1:02: 26 (2:09:23)
2.5: (13.5): 31:47 (2:41:10)
1.625: (15.125) 20:08 (3:01:18)
1.625: (16.75) 21:21 (3:22:44)

ave pace: roughly 12:00

so finally, one grrrreat long run in the books. the plan is to run an 18 miler next week, then a 20. the last week in september i'll be in carmel, so i'll probably cut back to a 10 miler. then do another 20 miler the week after that. and officially my taper will begin.

shuffling things around

the long run today? didn't happen. but let me explain:

1. i got home really late last night. totally unintentionally. i had dinner with a friend that just ran late.

2. this morning, i had some last minute changes to a freelance project i thought was finalized earlier this week.

3. i helped my mom with an errand on her lunch hour.

even after all of that, i thought i could still drive to sf to take advantage of the cooler temps, but by the time i got done with catching up, i realized it would just be a big hassle. so i waited for it to get cool here and ran an easy 5. no watch or nike plus. all i know is that it was breezy, cool, and FAB-U-LOUS!

i tackled a few hills using the new visualization technique i learned about earlier this week. and it worked!! i felt like there was a team of people helping me up the hill rather than the burden being solely on me! i imagined i was a car on a roller coaster ride and a chain was tied to my belly button. and as i ran, i imagined the chain getting shorter and shorter as i got closer and closer to the top. and in my head i heard the "click, click, click, click" sound rollercoasters make. i couldn't WAIT to get to the top to throw my hands up in the air and go "wheeeeeeeee" down the other side. maybe it sounds cheesy, but it TOTALLY worked!

and my long run isn't totally canceled for the week . i have friday night off and saturday morning until 3 off, so for the first time in months, i can do my long run on saturday morning like most of the world!! yippee!! it also gives me time to find my watch and nike plus receiver. how i keep misplacing those two things i'll never know.

long run eve

if you missed my new list of mantras, check out yesterday's post. you're bound to find one you can use. also feel free to add to the list!

in true comeback style, i logged an energetic 6 miler last night after work, and an hour of crosstraining this morning. i meant to get to spin class at 6 am this morning but after MH's moroccan birthday feast last night, 6 am was so not possible. (can you believe he's NEVER had moroccan food!? or seen real, live belly dancers? the hookah, though, he was very familiar with. and we got to try a new flavor: orange blossom) i managed to get out on the stationary bike at 10 am to eke out 10 miles on the alpine setting. then i went another mile on the tread climber. i'm hoping i can squeeze in yoga class between my errands tonight.

i've got a TON of errands that need to be done in the next two days PLUS my long run (of an undetermined length. i'm shooting for anywhere between 12-16 miles.) long run preparation can take so long sometimes, especially since i have to do laundry (can't run without the fave gear) and if i do drive into the city (either tonight or tomorrow am) i've got to pack all my nutrition essentials, dry clothes etc. etc. etc. plus i've got stock up on more gels. i've also decided to give shot blox another try. i'll have to compare sodium and caffeine contents closely at the store.

so enough blogging, got to get moving! happy hump day, peeps! oh and here are a few pics from last night. i wanted a shot of the belly dancer but i felt skeevy about taking pictures of her while she was dancing. there already was this nasty man totally entranced and drooling throwing his money at her. besides him, there was a family of about 6 and a whole group of what i assume were college students, holed up in a large corner booth, enjoying about 3 hookahs. but the food was a-mazing. and any meal ending with baklava and mint tea is alright by me!

f*ck you marathon! you're my bitch, now!

lately, i've been feeling pretty unmotivated about a lot of things in my life. and that who-the fuck-cares attitude has trickled into my running.

i've decided that enough is enough.

if i'm gonna turn things around, i'm gonna start with the one thing i've always had control over; my running and my attitude. because dammit, no matter what i've said in the past, or how i've acted, i really do fucking want this marathon. i just didn't want to be that jackass newbie who after a month of not really training thought they could just waltz in at the 11th hour and pull it out of her ass.

but even so, i decided that i am not going down without a fight. even if by some freak force of nature the marathon isn't mine come race day, it won't be because i quit. my legs will have to physically fall off. my heart will have to beat out of my chest. and my lungs will have to collapse. but it won't be because i quit! if i can stand, i can run. and i will. i have 46 days to fucking prove myself. and i will.

i didn't come THIS far to quit now. i didn't run my mouth to everyone and their mother about it to just quit. i don't feel shame a lot in my life, but man would i feel it if i quit. especially if i didn't even give myself the chance to try!!!!!!

i scoured the internet for running mantras. here are some good ones that i think will help me:

• it’s worth it.

• aren’t we runners the lucky and the blessed!?

• it’s harder when you think, so just run!

• i am never down. i am either up, or getting up.

• FUCK YOU, stupid hill! You’re my bitch, now! ( i really like this one!)

• The night is dark
The night is long
Be with me God
And make me strong.

• it does not matter how slowly you go so long as you do not stop. - Confucius

• screw it, run through it.

• it feels good to show some courage. - Joe Namath

• every mile is the marathon.

• keep running you’ll feel better after, trust me

• tough times don’t last, tough people do.

• failure is not an option.

• SMILE!

• i am a warrior!

• it hurts up to a point and then it doesn’t get any worse. - Ann Trason

• if oprah can, i can,

There’s now way out but up.

• I read a trick for hills. They said to imagine that there is a rope dangling down the hill which your can hook onto, and “they” will tow you up the hill. Now when I get to a hill, I think “Thank heavens it’s a hill. I can rest while they haul my buns up.”

• this is not a dress rehearsal. this is IT.”

• some people run to get in shape......we get in shape to run!

• don’t fear moving slowly forward...fear standing still.” - Kathleen Harris

• pain is nothing compared to what it feels like to quit.

• losers look what they are going through. winners look where they are going to.

• action cures fear.

• at some point it doesn’t get any worse.

• it’s supposed to be hard. this feels good!

• heaven is under our feet as well as over our heads – David Thoreau

• the only way to be who you want to be is by being what you haven’t yet been.
- Sally Edwards

• i am my own hero.

back among the living

and running...

i was feeling like utter crap up until yesterday, with saturday night being the worst. my fever had returned and my head felt like it was going to explode. after an evening with ice packs on my head and neck, i decided to finally call in sick at work and spend sunday recooperating. best. decision. ever.

i now feel like a practically normal person. FINALLY, after friggin 2 weeks.

so before the butt crack of dawn (4:15!) i woke up to get my arse to the gym. i managed to eke out a mere 2.5 miles before i had to pack it in to go to work. the plans are to run 5-6 tomorrow am, spin wed am, and attempt a long run on thursday. i'm banking on 10, hoping for 12, working for 14. friday it's yoga and saturday calls for an easy 5.

i'm quite scared as to whether my body is ready for this marathon, considering that the month of august has been almost a total wash. the schedule is supposed to go:
this week: cutback
next week: 18 miler
next week: cutback
last week of september: 20 miler
then begin 3 week and 2 day taper

god, i'm royally fucked, aren't i? shit!

any advice or suggestions? i know i can't "cram" in the miles at the last minute, but it still is possible, isn't it?!

glad my credit card is tucked safely away

this comes as a poster as large as 16" x 20".

there must be a better way to cure my insomnia other than googling eric bana.

i ask myself why?

yesterday, when i was trying to motivate myself to run, i asked myself the question: why are you running this marathon?

and i kinda came up blank.

i mean i have plenty of reasons why i RUN, but why i want to run a marathon? hmmmm...

i'm not running for charity. i'm not running with anyone or for anyone. i didn't just overcome some huge hardship, and i didn't just reach a new decade in my life.

the only thing i got was, i just do. it's just something i've always wanted to do. maybe just for the bragging rights. maybe just because it's hard and i just want to conquer it. and that all sounded kinda juvenile! like my life isn't hard enough that i have to add this "diversion" to make it interesting. and when i thought of it like that, it sounded kinda frivolous. petty. selfish, even.

i mean i guess we all kinda know running is a selfish endeavor. and for normal people, with families and lots of responsibilities i can see how the outlet for "me" time is warranted. but for the most part, i'm pretty much a spoiled brat. so why do i need the "excuse" to run?

i'm not quite sure where this is all coming from all of a sudden. all i know is i came up blank when i asked myself why i'm running this thing. except for that i just want to. which makes it sound like i want this like i want ice cream. or new shoes. i thought for sure training for this marathon would enlighten me about myself and life more. and i guess i'm feeling just as clueless about things now as i did in the beginning.

oy! it sounds as if i need to get out of my head and into reality! i guess i'll hit publish now, and reread it later to see if i really should just take it down. i sound totally mental.

i tried, really i did.

i got up at 4:30 to start getting ready for my 6 am, 16 miler. i certainly wasn't in the mood, but damnit i haven't missed a long run yet and i wasn't about to start now when it counted the most.

but once i got out there, i just blech, didn't have it. i've run through a sinus infection before (my first half marathon to be exact) but i remember it being pretty miserable. and after 2 miles, i wasn't feeling so hot and i figured it would just be best to pack it up and go home.

i've been feeling pretty crappy the past 10 days, minus the day of my 5k, and don't know whether it's because i'm sick or because my head is in the crapper. probably a combo of both. so on the drive home i resolved to not let this get me down and do whatever it took today to make me feel good.

which so far has included taking a long, hot shower and shaving! i've made up a pretty face and donned a dress i bought a month ago but haven't yet worn because i haven't had the occasion. the plans also include a pedicure, a waxing, a haircut, a nice healthy lunch alone with a long way down by nick hornby. by then, i should be ready for a nap. or a movie.

happy thursday, peeps!

feeling better and feeling bad

feeling better: thanks to everyone's comments to my last post! i knew that once i posted my fears, not only would i feel better just getting them off my chest, but that everyone with much more wisdom and experience than me would help me put things into perspective. i'm taking everyone's advice: have fun and just enjoy the experience. i mean i will never again have a FIRST marathon!!! yippeeeeee!

feeling bad: my mucous issues have turned into a full fledged sinus infection. blech. i hate those goddamned things. i'm currently on antibiotics. i haven't run since my 5k on friday (where i PRed, thank you very much) but i can't bear to bag my 16 miler tomorrow. the plan is to start it and if i feel like utter poop, i'll stop.

feeling bad: i finally, officially broke things off with MH last night. (and you're probably thinking, wait, what was all that talk before about not getting involved with him? yeah, well i'm human and in my whole course of dating i've not been one to fend off the advances of a latin lover very well) so breaking things off a few months later definitely made it harder than if i had stopped things cold to begin with. and i think i was a little too honest with my reasons for why i don't think he's the one for me. when i got home i was like fuck, why am i so stupidly honest? i think i could have spared him hurt feelings. i wasn't trying to be cruel, just honest, but sometimes i have to remember it might be better to just be kind.

my irrational fears

ok so it's almost september! and after that it's october! which is the month i'm running my first marathon ever! i mean i like signed up for it many many many months ago. i've been dreaming about doing this for years now. and the closer the day comes i get a little more anxious. it's weird. it's almost like i don't want it to happen because there's something exciting about just having the dream. i'm sorta kinda afraid of what the reality of it will do to the fantasy of it. and i kind of like saying i'm gonna do a marathon. the idea of actually really doing it, still scares the crap out of me.

i still have my 16, 18 and 20 mile training runs to get through, so without having done those i can't really fear whether or not i will finish. my confidence come race day will depend heavily on how those training runs go. but part of me also wonders how in the world is doing one 20 mile training run enough to prepare me for 26.2!!! that's a whole 10k longer than my longest training run?! and isn't 20 miles where people hit "the wall"?! who the hell thought up my stupid training schedule and thought it was gonna be enough!?

so far in all of my long runs, i've never had to use the bathroom. #1 or #2. but i'm afraid my bowels will decide to go into overdrive come race day. or i'll be all hopped up on hormones from my period that i'll be bloated, cranky, and tired. during training i usually give myself a break during that time of the month but what if marathon day just happens to fall during that time of the month!?! ugh. i'm no longer on birth control so messing around with my cycle is out of the question, but the guilty catholic in me fears god's wrath for having used it in the past. not so much for the pre-marital sex mind you, but the use of artificial birth control. and if that whole paragraph was t.m.i., sorry.

another fear i have is that i'll run out of bodyglide. that my legs will chafe down to the bone. i mean really, can bodyglide really last an entire 5 plus hour marathon?? and not only run out of body glide but can my body really handle running on gu for 5 plus hours?! i've run for 3 hours on gu and done fine, but can i last for nearly double that time on just gu alone?

i really want to enjoy this experience, but part of me just wishes this was over with already. i'd like to resume a normal life where i don't have to worry about stuff like this!

race report: surprise! surprise!

ever since my last 5k time of 31:10, a PR, i might add, i've been itching to see if i have what it takes to run it in 30. but ever since i started working at the hotel, races were pretty much out of the question because i work in the mornings on the weekends. so i was stoaked to find one on a friday night in sacramento!

but with temps in the high 80s and tons of sun, the weather was much more suited for the beach than a race. nonetheless, i was still excited to be among my brethren runners. i wish i could bottle the adrenaline and excitement of race day! being surrounded by so many runners just makes me swell with pride. like i'm part of this great big "something". cheesy, i know, but it's the truth.

my goals for the race were to #1. not die in the heat (i'm so not accustomed to it) #2 definitely pull it off in 33 and #3. aim for 31, with wild hopes of doing it in 30. i sat in the my air conditioned car for as long as i could. i decided to pin my number on my belly instead of over my chest. and i tied my timing chip to my left sneaker, rather than my right. it's odd because i'm very superstitious but something told me to do it this way, instead of my normal way.

i made sure to hydrate like a mo'fo' all day yesterday and today. so i peed like 3 times in the hour and a half before the race. but once i started i swear to bob, my throat felt sooooo dry! i chalked it up to mucous issues, as i'm not fully well yet. i tried to not let it distract me. i knew there was a water stop somewhere along the course, so i just kept imagining i was in an ice castle with pools of ice cold water everywhere.

the first mile was tough. i made sure not to line myself too far back with the walkers like i did last time. but maybe i was too far up because i ran the first mile in 9:24!! what is it with me running sub 10:00 miles lately?! i was definitely feeling it, so i told myself to back off just a bit. my mouth was still parched and i had no idea where this blissful waterstop would be. at the halfway point, i finally spotted it and slowed to a walk to gulp down some agua. i was breathing hard and very very hot. i imagined i must be red at this point, which for someone as brown as me, means it's hot! but i just told myself, "it's supposed to feel uncomfortable. it's supposed to feel this way. this feels good!"

i chugged along to mile 2: 10:00. at this point, i'm doin 'the math and i know i have to run the next 1.12 miles in a little over 10 min. i'm seriously doubting i can. i'm hot! i'm breathing really hard! and did i mention i'm hot!!? but i pressed on. whenever i felt like stopping to walk, i said, "just keep running, pull back if you have to, but just run" and whenever i felt hot, i'd just repeat my mantra, "this feels good!" i probably repeated those three words like 100 times in the last mile, while i wondered just how much further i had!! my brain was racing just as fast as my feet were! finally i saw the 3 mile marker! i glanced at my watch: 9:59, overall time: 29:24:37.

HOLY SHIT! i just might fucking finish this 5k in 30 minutes! all thoughts flew out of my head and i just gunned it finishing in 30:12:28!!!!

ok so technically it's not a SUB-30, but i'll still take it! especially on a hot day like today. especially when i haven't even been training specifically for speed. i crossed that finish line and felt like a total bad ass!!!! i totally surprised myself. and that's what i love about running. it reveals to me just how much i underestimate myself and just how much i really am capable of. today wasn't so much a physical victory as it was a mental one. with the power of positive thoughts, i was able to trick my hot, uncomfortable, body into crossing that finish line faster than i ever have.

this feeling right now is one i'll definitely carry with me on marathon race day!

back in the saddle

by bedtime last night i was feeling muuuuuuuuch better. i can breathe freely and the icky feeling is gone. all that's left is one final ball of mucus that keeps bouncing between my sinuses and throat. i really, really, really wish i had loogie-hawking abilities.

so this morning, feeling much more like myself, i mounted the spin bike and got to work. the instructor uttered the word "intense" and i braced myself. his technique was different than my usual spin instructor: less talking, less cuing, but more reminders about form, and better music. he also kept saying things like "push it! push it real good" and "aloha!" and "up your resistance, please. thank you, thank you very much". it was like spinning with elvis.

he also turned off the lights, so at 6 am it was pretty dark. but by the end of class, light started streaming in through the windows and i caught a glimpse of myself. and was actually kind of pleased. glistening sweat on any body looks pretty good in the semi-darkness.

i might get a run in with MH this morning, if he gets his butt up at a decent hour. as of late, he's been my slacking off partner, instead of workout partner, but damnit if i'm not gonna try to get us both back on track again.

hey! who fart-leked?

i confess. it was me.

this morning when i woke up, i was definitely feeling better. not stellar, but better. i could actually breathe through one nostril and the congestion in my chest felt much looser. i figured since i was well hydrated and nourished, (i've been drinking honey laced hot water like it's my job and eating lots of homemade soup) i'd take a stab at a "long run". on the treadmill, just in case i needed to stop in a hurry.

the schedule had me down for 8, but i went into the gym happy to log at least one mile. so i took the first mile, nice and easy: 13:45. i felt pretty good at that point and when kanye west's stronger played i pushed it a little further: 12:29, 11:06. i took a walk break then ricky martin's cup of life came on and i turned up the heat: 10:53 and finished strong with kid rock's bawitdaba: 9:24.

so it wasn't a long run, but it still felt good to push my legs and lungs. i slowed when i felt like it, and kicked it up when the tunes got good. and i had to snot into my towel only 3 times the entire time! don't worry i gave the treadmill a good cleaning when i was done!

i'm resuming meds, and my regular get-well regimen hoping that friday can be a healthy, fun, fast day.

poop, poop, poop

that is how i feel.

and i signed up for a 5k this friday night. looks like a PR is out of the question. hopefully by the end of the week i'll be able to breathe. without coughing. and snot dripping.

let's hope this is the last time i get sick before oct 21. because that countdown in my sidebar is ticking away pretty quickly! 2 months exactly! holy shiz!

2 memes in 1

i think i contracted ebola on the bus, because since then i've felt like poop. the muscle soreness went away in a day, but some bug has my throat scratchy, my nose drippy with snot, and i'm draggin' ass i'm so tired. so...with no new workouts to log, here are my answers to 2 memes that have been floating around:

Jobs I've Held:
courtesy clerk at safeway
hostess/waitress/bartender
resident assistant
desk receptionist in my dorm
graphic designer

Movies I can watch over and over:
about a boy
bring it on
princess diaries
home alone
shawshank redemption

My guilty pleasures:
how can you have pleasure with guilt?!

Places I have lived:
northern california
washington, d.c.
bethesda, md

Shows I enjoy:
project runway
american idol
so you think you can dance
house
good eats on food network
almost everything on tlc
workout on bravo

Places I've been on vacation:
nearly everywhere in california
lake tahoe
las vegas
houston, tx
new orleans, la for mardi gras
nyc
upstate new york
boston, ma for st.patty's day
miami, fl
myrtle beach
the caribbean
hawaii

Favorite Foods:
homemade filipino food, especially luscious pork fat
any homemade authentic cuisine
greek food
steak
barbecue
ahi tuna steaks
dungeness crab
watermelon, white peaches, cold, cold grapes, lychees, mangoes
kettle cooked potato chips
beer

Websites I visit daily:
go fug yourself
dooce
gmail
your blog

Body parts I've injured:
my newly bruised toe
i broke my left arm falling off the monkey bars in second grade right before our trip to hawaii.
i had many mishaps with the exacto knife in design classes in college and took big chunks of flesh out of my fingers. no blood, just chunks of flesh.

Awards I've won:
i graduated second in my high school class, graduated summa cum laude from college, and won a second place tae kwon do trophy in college. i guess i'm only good enough for second place!

i think i won "best hair" in junior high. does that count for anything?

Nicknames I've been called:
i used to get called by my last name a lot. but other than that, i don't like nicknames. but i like giving them to OTHER people. HA!

--------------------------------


How many teeth do you have?
i don't know, how can you count them? all but my wisdom teeth.

Have you ever had braces?
ugh yes. my brothers on the other hand had perfect straight teeth without any help!

Name and tell us a bit about a pet you had as a child.
we had two little birds when i was really young, pixie and dixie. so when you use one of their names and the street i lived on as a kid to get my porn name you get pixie rose.

Where were you born?
redwood city, ca

How many siblings do you have?
2 younger brothers, one a year younger, the other 5 years younger than me

What was your high school's mascot?
an indian. i know, so wrong.

What was your favorite Halloween costume (either childhood or adulthood)?
one year in college my bff and i went to the thrift store and bought white lacy dresses, handcuffed ourselves to each other and went as lesbian brides. that went over very well at parties.

What's your favorite smell?
babies, post-it notes, scotch tape, new computer smell, new car smell

What accomplishment are you most proud of?
i'm proud that i've stopped trying to live up to other people's expectations. i am so much more comfortable being me nowadays.

Do you put the TP on the roll so that it feeds from the bottom or the top?
however it goes on, but usually i just plunk it on the tank.

Have you ever broken anything?
my car has been dented several times in the 4 years i've owned it. i have issues parking.

If you could travel anywhere, and the budget was not a factor, where would you go?
everywhere: greece, costa rica, all of europe, australia, the Philippines. you said budget wasn't a factor.

What is your dream job?
to be a perpetual student. or to get paid to travel and eat food.

What is your most embarrassing moment?
i tend not to get embarrassed easily. i have no shame. or i shun such moments from my memory so i don't have to think about them ever again.

What is your worst fear?
being alone.

i'm afraid of what life will be like without my parents or my aunts and uncles.

i used to be afraid of ghosts until 5 years ago when the ghost of my grandpa visited me the morning he died. now i feel like he's protecting me.

What year did you graduate high school?
1996

What was one of your new year's resolutions for 2007?
to run a marathon

There you go. You guys know the drill: You are ALL tagged! Copy the text, paste it into your post, and answer the questions with your own, original tidbits of interesting info, and pass it on if you so desire. Happy meme-ing!

a rude awakening

hey, did you know that san francisco has a lot of hills?

yeah, so did i.

but i severely underestimated just how hilly those hills actually are. which makes for a very craptastic 14 mile run. which could potentially make for a craptastic marathon. *sigh*

the one good thing about san francisco is that the weather is almost always runner friendly. which meant i could wait until after rush hour traffic to make the trek to the city. i packed my bags, a cooler filled with post workout nourishment and made the hour drive to union square. i parked in a garage and started donning my running gear when i realized that i had forgotten my headphones!!! argh! there was no way i was gonna go 14 miles with no tunes or cues from my nike+. luckily niketown was right there. though i had to go into the store totally geeked out in my nike visor, nike sunglasses, and nike tank, in full running gear complete with my hydration belt. then i plunked down $30 for overpriced nike headphones.

i decided that it would be a good idea to start running the actual marathon route so that i would be mentally and physically prepared to handle the course. i know from experience that running in a new place wigs me out because my brain has no visual references to tell me how far i've gone and how much more i have to go. plus i knew that if i didn't get any real hill training in, it would be a very real possibility that my legs would crap out on me. i followed the map from the race website as best as i could, and prayed that none of the roads i would have to run would be too dangerous during normal non-race, non-closure conditions.

so niketown is where i started. the first couple miles i weaved in and out of mobs of pedestrians, rushed through intersections and tried not to get run over. once i hit the embarcadero though, it was pretty smooth sailing. long flat blocks and i made nearly every green light. fisherman's wharf was a little crowded but not the clusterfuck i anticipated. from there i ran along the marina right into a fierce headwind. by that point i was about 5 miles into things. i started to tire so i took a gu and a walk break. i bought a water at little stand and refilled my bottles.

next came the stretch towards the golden gate bridge and the famous mile 7 with the bad ass hill. i ran through chrissy field and at one point missed my turn and ended up at fort point. so i doubled back and found "the hill". mother bitch! bikers dismounted their bikes, but damn if every single runner powered up. i was not one of those runners. i did my best but man, it was a no go.

and actually all of the presidio pretty much sucked ass. after that hill, came another. a long slow sucky ass hill. basically miles 7-10 were a combination of running, walking, whining, doubting, and near crying. i just could not will myself to run. my legs from my knees down were not happy. tight calves, tight soleus, rickety knees. all i could do was concentrate on just moving forward and enjoying the views of ocean and million dollar homes.

and while for every uphill there is a downhill, i don't much enjoy downhills either. but at least i was back to running. once out of the presidio, i ran in the bike lane on el camino del mar. and for the first time i was in a part of the city i'd never been before. i cursed every damn tree, every house. i was so tired. and my legs were seriously spent.

but i trudged on. because i saw the ocean! and a block before i reached ocean beach, right at mile 11, i spotted my oasis. BURGER KING!! just in time because i needed water and food. even though i had 2 gus by this point, my stomach was rumbling. and i figured if eating on the run was good enough for dean-o, it could be good enough for me. i popped into the BK for a bottled water and a small fry. yes, a small fry. i figured it had salt and simple carbs.

i popped a few tasty morsels in my mouth and held onto the bag for dear life. only 3 more miles to go through golden gate park. this is where the route got tricky because the map stopped naming roads through the park and i had to go by landmarks. the dutch windmill, the golf course, spreckles lake. and if i got lost, all i had to do was head for the panhandle and the japanese tea garden.

the last three miles were a pathetic attempt at running. my mind was long gone, my spirit pummelled and defeated, my legs tight, sore and pathetic. i ran when i could but mainly i walked. during this time, i just tried to pull myself together. figure out what i could learn and what i could do to make the next longer runs not suck so much. and therefore make finishing the marathon a reality.

i decided that i would run all my remaining long runs along the actual route. i also decided that it was imperative that i take my nutrition and hydration much more seriously. this is all stuff i already knew and should have been practicing already, but the thing is is that when i started thinking too seriously about this marathon thing, i would totally wig out, start to doubt my abilities and it would just spiral into total freakout, meltdown. so i'd been taking a more laidback approach, focusing on just one run at a time. this run however was a very rude awakening. and i'm hoping that the next month and a half before my taper is enough to be prepared.

because i ran from point to point, i had to get back to my car. my plan was to take a cab, but i quickly figured out that sf is not so much a cab kind of city. luckily it is a bus city. and after walking a mile further, i was able to find out what muni line i needed to take to get me back downtown. it gave me time to stretch though i didn't realize if i had just walked a block further i could have bought a gatorade at a gas station.

about 3 or 4 stops into my bus ride, someone actually came down to sit next to me. seriously dude? i have been running for the past 3 hours and you choose ME to sit next too. i mean sure my nips were at full salute since it was chilly in my wet tank, but seriously, i could not have looked or smelled that good. though after a quick glance around the bus i realized i wasn't the dirtiest person on the bus. ah, the joys of the city.

after traversing down haight, we finally made our way downtown where i made a beeline for a hotdog stand for a salty jumbo pretzel and a vitamin water. the pretzel ended up being a smart purchase because the swath of parchment paper made it was the perfect size to shield my chest and offending nips! i scarfed the pretzel down during the 4 block walk to the garage where my other treats awaited me. i threw on a long sleeve shirt and dug out my accelerade and grapes. by this point i felt totally bloated from all the liquids. once i had my fill, i grabbed my bags and headed for the gym.

for a spin class.

just kidding! who do you think i am?! i headed to a sf branch of my gym for a much needed shower. there was NO way i was gonna drive home in nasty running clothes. although i do have to say that my new running skirt was dry as a bone! but it felt ever so good to get into a warm shower, dry off and get into my jeans, dry socks, and my warm hoodie. by the time i changed it was about 5 pm. my original plan was to have dinner at a greek restaurant downtown but i realized that even after eating dinner, i would be stuck in rush hour traffic during the ride home. so i called my tita who lives in sf to see if she was home, and she was! score! she offered to make me fried chicken so it didn't take much twisting of my arm to forego gyros and hummus for homemade goods. and green tea ice cream! WOOT!

so now here i am, well fed, more rested, watching MTV with my cousin waiting out the traffic. i am definitely going to have to eat better and drink more before my long runs. because i'm realizing now that the only time i peed today was this morning. once when i woke up and once before i left for sf. also, i was under the wrong impression that because i have been stuffing my face the past 2 weeks that i wouldn't need to "carbo-load" before my run. dumb. dumb. dumb.

from here on out people, my training is gonna have to be different. much more serious. much more focused. let's hope it's not too late to pull this marathon outta my ass!

splits:
1: 12:04
2: 12:04
3: 12:09
4.19: 14:45 (i thought i hit the splits button but didn't)
5:10:56
6: 12:59
7: 13:22
8: 14:14
9: 14:39
10: 15:27
11: 14:32
12: 12:49
13: 13:19
14: 13:31
T: 3:06:51

15:14:56 (walk to bus)

i expected this

finding new trails to run is one of the best things about living where i do. even though i log a good amount of miles on the treadmill, i love getting my shoes dirty in the great outdoors. i rarely enjoy running along city (or in my case) suburban streets. i'd heard good things about rockville hills park, less than 10 minutes from my house. so off i went, planning to log an easy 5 miles.

easy they were not. and 5 i did not log. the trails were rocky, windy, and at places very narrow and right along the edge of the hill. the scenery and views were AMAZING but this was not the ideal location for me to get in my first few miles after a 2 week hiatus. about a mile into the run i realized the terrain was too rough and in places too steep for me to get in a good easy workout. so i turned back. along the way i ran into a super buff chick and her 3 super buff dogs! for awhile i also ran behind a man who at one point stopped, dropped, and pounded out some pushups. holy christ! i hope i'm that fit when i'm in my late forties!

once back to my car i decided i couldn't just call it a day, so i drove to the lagoon to finish out the rest of my run. and even though the terrain there was familiar and flat, my legs just weren't feeling it. neither was my brain. i managed to eke out another 2.25 miles, though.

so it's a pathetic re-entry into training, but it's to be expected. i'm very much looking forward to yoga tonight. i think my muscles need it. especially before i attempt my 14 mile long run tomorrow. yeah, we'll just see how THAT goes.

where i've been

GBW 2007

i'm the excessively sweaty brown one. our shirts say "gets better every time we come." we're klassy with a k, aren't we? click the photo for more fun vacation pics.

i've been doin' a lot of partyin'. and eatin'. and drinkin'. but not a lick of running.

in my defense, dc was insanely humid and this northern california girl has lost all tolerance for crappy weather. i packed all my gear to run, totally excited about running on my old trails again, but holy crap was it ever so hot and humid. i was out one night at 1 am and it was ridiculously swampy. i don't know how i ever trained for my first half marathon in that sauna last summer. my hat goes off to all you swampy runners. that shit is bru-tal!

i did find other ways to sweat though. my college bffs and i made our annual trek to dewey beach for some fun in the sun. i had my fill of crab cakes, tacos, thrasher fries, grotto pizza, and buckets of corona. then we danced it all off at the rusty rudder.

see? totally sweaty! so sweaty i had to wring my shirt out when we got back to the hotel. gross!



this is what $8.50 in french fries looks like. i swear i didn't eat them all myself, but i'm embarrassed to admit that i probably could have if i really wanted to.


i also spent some time back in the city, visiting other friends and my old office. i made it to the portrait gallery which opened late last year after years of renovation. i also did some major shopping, including a new running skirt!

but after a week, i was ready to get the hell outta there and get home. it surprised me how much my visit back made me realize moving was the best possible thing for me. i really had my doubts in the beginning. and surprisingly even though i'm back at home with the 'rents and waiting tables, i'm happier now than i have been in years. it's taken 8 months, but i think i'm FINALLY ready to start what i moved to california to do. START MY LIFE OVER AGAIN.

which happily coincides with my 29th birthday! festivities included a huuuge cookout, bowling, and karaoke! karaoke at a place called "uncle bong's pizzeria". how could you NOT have fun at a place like that?! our crew of about 30 took over and we had the best. time. ever. eventually our d.d.s got us alcoholics home in the wee hours of the morning and even managed to stop and get some late night mexican takeout.

so as you can see, a workout is in serious order. in fact, i probably shouldn't stop running until i hit next tuesday. but my, oh, my, is it ever so hard to get back on the wagon!

oh i almost forgot, here's a picture of my toe exactly a week after the ice-block incident!

whew!

got my stuff. thank GAWD!

i do want to post about my vaca, but i'm too busy unpacking and preparing for my birthday fiesta!! woot! truth be told i've been celebrating for about a week now, so the culmination of the actual day on sunday will no doubt tire this old lady out!

and for the record, this is my last birthday. i'll be 29 until no one believes me anymore. :)

i'm hoooooooome!

with my feet firmly planted on california soil, i can happily declare i'm home! but my luggage? not so much. mother bitches! i never check baggage but with the new liquids rule, i basically had no choice because i require excessive amounts of hair product and lip gloss. so i turned my bags over to tsa. and now look what happened!

i get ansty at the baggage carousel. i worry that someone will walk off with my bag and i'll be forced to confront them (or worse not realize someone has walked off with my shit). i worry that my bag will have busted open and all my dirty undies will be spilling out. and then i worry that my bags are in bolivia instead of sacramento, california. they've tried to assure me that they're on the next flight in, but who knows.

i was smart enough to carry-on my laptop and my custom orthotics for my running shoes, but not my actual shoes. my digital camera however is lost with the luggage, so pictures of my beautiful bruised toe will have to wait til later.

i bet you can't wait! (and say a prayer to the gods of lost luggage that my things make it safely back to me!)