moving on

**per my previous post, i think i need to not blog when i'm pmsing. i sound so angsty**

this past weekend was spent avoiding packing. so we went to the drive-in, dinner in sonoma, and finally santa cruz beach boardwalk. with a week left before the big move, i am forced to finally get my shiz together. i spent most of tonight going through my clothes since it's about time to switch out the winter gear for the spring gear. as it stands, i would say i actually have 2, maybe even 3, wardrobes. my skinny wardrobe and my current size wardrobe (i refrained from calling it fat) and my in-between. the last time i did a major overhaul of my clothes was when i moved about 3.5 years ago. and tonight i did a pretty thorough purge of any last relics from my 20's. because let's face it, i'm going to be 32 this year. i can't wear that kinda stuff no mo'. and i'm no longer a size 4. sure i dream that i could be again, but honestly, a size 8 would suffice. and that size is probably more realistic. i doubt i will ever be in a time in my life again where being skinny is my only goal. i ended up filling 2 very large trashbags worth of clothes for goodwill. some clothes i kept too long for sentimental reasons, or because they were gifts. some clothes i just wore to death because i loved. and some clothes i bought to help tide me over between sizes. and some i bought 'cause that was just the trend. i look at all these discarded clothes and shoes and think about all the wasted money. it's hard to maintain a wardrobe of so many sizes and seasons.

patrick has agreed to give me the bigger closet in our 2 bedroom apartment. thankfully we have a situation where we don't have to share one. if there is any question as to where my debt came from, you can look at the piles and piles of clothes and shoes i've donated through the years and my increasing waist line from eating out and partying. (though the evidence of that hasn't shown up til now)

in the merging of our two lives into one space, it's just selfish and irresponsible of me to be so fixated with 'stuff'. especially stuff that gets put in a drawer, or a closet, or a box and rarely sees the light of day. and when i think about all the things i discarded or gave away only 4 years ago when i moved cross-country, and the boat-load of more crap i've amassed in just 4 years, i feel so wasteful. i'd like it so we just have what we really love, really need, and really use. for environmental, financial, and emotional well-being.

no more extra stuff. because it just becomes extra baggage.