thanks for all of your responses. ya'll made it quite clear to me that this is not my responsibility (even though it has been my stress for the last year) and it just took a HUGE load off of my shoulders. not that i don't have my own shiz to take care of. but trying to carry it all just about did me in. but now, i feel lighter. and stronger. to carry out my end of the bargain and take of business.
and not that i want to dwell, but more as a note to myself, i have this habit of wanting to take care of other people. and i'm not even saying it to try to make myself look good. it's just that when someone i care about, or even just know says they're upset, or hungry or whatever, my brain and heart automatically go to 'what can i do to help?' and i don't feel better until i can contribute something. it's weird. i could go into all the psychobabble as to why i do it and blah blah. but it's pointless. the point is, i'm very empathetic. but i don't have to save the friggin' world to be a good person.
moving on. we spent very little at the cuzzo's birthday bc we avoided dinner out with them entirely, though i found out later dinner was on the hostess. but still, i can't go assuming that every family outing i go on will be funded by my aunts or uncles. it was a good exercise in restraint for us. the whole gang went bowling afterward which was also funded by the hostess. my uncle even bought me and patrick a pitcher of beer. my family is usually generous in this manner, but i like to not assume. and well i don't like spending their money willynilly either. so all in all a fun night on very little cash.
i realize this blog has been mainly about my finances and personal life. i'm just not feeling the whole running thing as much. and i'm not gonna beat myself up about it. i think i'm starting to get a handle on other things in life and i just can't handle trying to tackle everything at once. my brain can only handle one thing at a time i guess. so ONE: get spending under control. working on it. TWO: find a new job/get more income. working on it. (i've been getting some responses back, even if to say they aren't hiring, but it makes me feel better that my emails aren't just disappearing into space. and i have a couple prospects going) THREE: working out. will have to wait. FOUR: eating healthy. will have to wait.
i know it IS technically possible to work on all 4 at once. but yeah, not my brain. but i will keep on keeping on.
oh and p.s. you know what habit i did manage to break? like just cold turkey? out of the blue and totally suddenly? my nail biting habit. going on over 2 months now. FINALLY.
3 comments:
There's nothing wrong with being empathetic. I think that I am the same way sometimes.
Sounds like you had a good time at the cousin's birthday, even if you didn't partake in all events. It's hard to say no, especially to friends, but family as well - when trying to save money.
Way to go on breaking that nail biting habit!
the point is, i'm very empathetic. but i don't have to save the friggin' world to be a good person.
YES!
I have this same issue. I will bend over backwards and put myself at detriment sometimes, to help others. I have to learn also that I have to step back sometimes.
Here's my best analogy that I thought of years ago, and have heard repeated since--I learned it from the airlines.
"Put the mask on yourself before assisting others!"
If you put yourself into ruin you're no good to anyone else.
I think you're trying to balance the helping and not hurting you, which will come.
Also, too funny--I bite my nails too!
I quit for some time very recently--have fallen back, but have determined to stop again.
i know it IS technically possible to work on all 4 at once. but yeah, not my brain. but i will keep on keeping on.
Don't try to overwhelm yourself too much, once you get a few things under control the rest might just fall into place!
Oooh, congrats on kicking the nail-biting. That's a tough one!
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