f*ck you marathon! you're my bitch, now!

lately, i've been feeling pretty unmotivated about a lot of things in my life. and that who-the fuck-cares attitude has trickled into my running.

i've decided that enough is enough.

if i'm gonna turn things around, i'm gonna start with the one thing i've always had control over; my running and my attitude. because dammit, no matter what i've said in the past, or how i've acted, i really do fucking want this marathon. i just didn't want to be that jackass newbie who after a month of not really training thought they could just waltz in at the 11th hour and pull it out of her ass.

but even so, i decided that i am not going down without a fight. even if by some freak force of nature the marathon isn't mine come race day, it won't be because i quit. my legs will have to physically fall off. my heart will have to beat out of my chest. and my lungs will have to collapse. but it won't be because i quit! if i can stand, i can run. and i will. i have 46 days to fucking prove myself. and i will.

i didn't come THIS far to quit now. i didn't run my mouth to everyone and their mother about it to just quit. i don't feel shame a lot in my life, but man would i feel it if i quit. especially if i didn't even give myself the chance to try!!!!!!

i scoured the internet for running mantras. here are some good ones that i think will help me:

• it’s worth it.

• aren’t we runners the lucky and the blessed!?

• it’s harder when you think, so just run!

• i am never down. i am either up, or getting up.

• FUCK YOU, stupid hill! You’re my bitch, now! ( i really like this one!)

• The night is dark
The night is long
Be with me God
And make me strong.

• it does not matter how slowly you go so long as you do not stop. - Confucius

• screw it, run through it.

• it feels good to show some courage. - Joe Namath

• every mile is the marathon.

• keep running you’ll feel better after, trust me

• tough times don’t last, tough people do.

• failure is not an option.

• SMILE!

• i am a warrior!

• it hurts up to a point and then it doesn’t get any worse. - Ann Trason

• if oprah can, i can,

There’s now way out but up.

• I read a trick for hills. They said to imagine that there is a rope dangling down the hill which your can hook onto, and “they” will tow you up the hill. Now when I get to a hill, I think “Thank heavens it’s a hill. I can rest while they haul my buns up.”

• this is not a dress rehearsal. this is IT.”

• some people run to get in shape......we get in shape to run!

• don’t fear moving slowly forward...fear standing still.” - Kathleen Harris

• pain is nothing compared to what it feels like to quit.

• losers look what they are going through. winners look where they are going to.

• action cures fear.

• at some point it doesn’t get any worse.

• it’s supposed to be hard. this feels good!

• heaven is under our feet as well as over our heads – David Thoreau

• the only way to be who you want to be is by being what you haven’t yet been.
- Sally Edwards

• i am my own hero.